Yes, other parents lust after your school district, and you live in one of the few ‘burbs served by two Metro stops. But you also have pizza, the Easter Bunny, and higher taxes. Wait, what? Here are 10 signs you’re a Falls Church parent:
1. You live within a toddler meltdown’s drive of two highly-favored and oft-recommended pizzeria/Italian joints (Pupatella and Pizzeria Orso). Both you and your mozzarella-smothered three-year-old feel pretty good about that.
2. When you drive past a sea of parked mini-vans at Mary Riley Styles Library, you know those parents didn’t get the inside scoop on a surprise Taylor Swift concert—it’s Story Time, and yeah…the librarians make “Little Blue Truck” THAT good.
3. Your kids know that, when you start singing “Manic Monday” and “Love Shack” ad nauseam, they’ve got a date with the babysitter and you and your 80s-baby spouse have a date with The Legwarmers at The State Theater.
4. Your teenagers attend the fifth best public high school in the country (George Mason High School). Did someone say college scholarship?
Photo: Falls Church
5. Your kids can never decide which of the 2.2 square mile-city’s 12 parks they feel like swinging on today.
6. You might as well save the chia seed oatmeal for another day and accept that, on Saturday mornings at the Farmers Market, your children will gorge on Donut Heaven’s pumpkin donuts. You might also have one.
7. You might as well send your kids’ allowance direct deposit to Doodlehopper.
8. You know that, if you want your kids to take a picture with the Easter Bunny after the egg hunt in Cherry Hill Park, you’re going to have to put on your game face, lock your elbows, and bring snacks for the wait. But it’s so worth it.
Photo: Falls Church
9. When your teenager wants to cover her frenemy’s lawn with pink plastic flamingos or your 4th grader is preparing for the annual science fair, you eschew Home Depot and head to Brown’s Hardware.
10. If it’s too hot outside, you bring your kids to Mobu. If it’s too cold outside, you bring your kids to…Mobu.
What did we miss? Tell us in the comments below.