I don’t have a magic wand or a perfect solution to make you feel like you DO actually have your stuff together… but I first want to tell you that it’s okay.
You are not alone. Raising tiny humans is hard. But, it’s a phase. And, one day you will feel like you have stuff together again.
Well, maybe not. But, that’s okay too.
We all want to give our best effort to our kids, our marriage, our job, our home.
But, we just simply can’t. Supermom actually isn’t a thing. Because we aren’t superhuman. We are just human. Which is better. It’s a lot less pressure to be just human.
Our intentions are good, but if our goal is to give 110% to every aspect of our life we are going to fall short.
So, here are three steps that you can take today so that stressed and falling short doesn’t feel like a way of life anymore.
Step 1: Focus on what’s important.
Pick three or four things that are really important to you. Write them each out on a sticky note and keep them visible.
Then, the next time that you are feeling overwhelmed, look at those sticky notes. Write out each of the things that are weighing on you, and if they don’t fall in one of the categories, then let them go.
And, anytime that you are feeling rushed say to yourself, “I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this present moment.”
Because, what if we were exactly where we needed to be?
Like, literally. Say it aloud.
It may not feel true at first, but when you say it enough, eventually it will.
When being rushed is a way of life, that sucks the ability to be present out of you.
“The next message you need is always right where you are.” ~Ram Dass
Step 2: Do a time audit.
I know, audits sound really boring and like something that should be reserved only for people who wear pocket protectors. But, humor me.
All of our activities can be divided into one of four categories.
Necessary and want/like to do. Necessary and don’t like to do. Unnecessary and want to do. Unnecessary and don’t want to do.
The unnecessary and don’t want to do activities can be eliminated immediately.
Get rid of the things that are sucking the life out of you. And, add the things that you want to be giving 100% towards. (Or, at least 80-90%.)
And for the things on your post-it notes, schedule those into your calendar as you would an important meeting.
For example, if spending time with your husband daily is a priority, schedule 15 minutes in your calendars each night after the kids go to bed to hang out together. Make it a non-negotiable.
Step 3: Not giving a darn about having it all together.
Many times wanting to have it all together is coming from a place of guilt and comparison, NOT from a place of truth.
In addition to focusing on the things that REALLY matter to you, let go of the things that don’t.
Easier said than done. I agree.
Practice telling yourself that you made your priorities and that it is safe for you to let go of the other things.
When you are intentional, versus reactive, about how you are spending your time, not giving a darn is much easier.
Because you’ve validated yourself.