Dear Moms on social media,
I read about your all-consuming struggles, your aching heart and your lost temper. I also read about your joys, your revelations and your triumphs.
I see your posts and I’m with you. Sometimes I’m rushing through my feed and I don’t take the time to validate your struggle with a “like” or a comment as perhaps I should. Other days I’m just exhausted and don’t even know what to say at all.
But I see it. I read it. And I feel it, too.
Occasionally, the cold, hard truth of these stories overwhelms me. The tragedy of miscarriage, death, depression and sorrow can be surreal at times. How mothers can go through so much pain and still be there to share their experiences and inspire others is truly magical in its very existence.
Some may say you “overshare” or you “complain too much.”
But that’s just it.
Motherhood is just “too much” sometimes. The words used to express our confusion, fear,and even rage are a vehicle for healing. Words can have such phenomenal meaning that a stranger can find solace and comfort just by scrolling through their Facebook feed, looking for some sort of answer to a question they never thought they would need to ask.
Why am I so tired? Will this phase end? I miss who I used to be. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m not cut out for this. Now I know what my parents went through. I’m not strong enough! All of these words have run through every other mother’s mind at one point or another and knowing that you’re not alone—even for just one moment—can mean so much to a mother who thinks she is failing at everything.
Yes, we probably spend too much time on the internet. Yes, there is a lot of nonsense and ugliness on social media, too. And yes, we should all be spending more time outside living our lives and healing.
But healing isn’t always possible without sharing with one another. Human beings are hard-wired to share and if a Facebook post from one mom can give another mom the motivation to carry on with dignity and help her realize she’s part of a tribe of women who also never got an instruction guide when they had children—then SHARE ON, moms.
Share, post, write, text, email, talk, laugh, commiserate—and most importantly, know that we’re still in this together. We’re all raising human beings who will walk this earth and dig into what we have left them.
The more mothers who connect with one another and realize there is no “perfect” way to do it and that parenting situations can vary so much within our communities and around the world, the more likely we are to accept differences and feel capable of facing challenges within our own homes.
So keep “oversharing” moms. Don’t be shy. There’s another mom out there—somewhere—wiping away warm tears of frustration, relating to you and waiting for more of your honest magic.
One grateful mom