There are very singular joys and tribulations of parenting in Los Angeles. Our kids don’t squirm away from sunscreen, but have never seen snow. We drive to the park at the end of the street. Our kids know to yell “Arigato” to the chef at a sushi bar and can debate their favorite kombucha flavors. And we worry about keeping up with the Kardashians, not the Joneses. Read on to see 25 signs that you are an LA parent.
photo: Boudewijn Berends via Creative Commons
- The greatest reward of having a baby: finally getting to use the carpool lane on the 405.
- When you called the local preschool to get your 6 month old on the wait list, you were told you’re too late.
- You believe dessert is best served from an ATM.
- Your kids think “Movie-Screener Season” is an actual season, falling between “Too Hot to Go outside for Recess Season” and “Holiday Season.”
- You’ve been to at least one four-year old birthday party that was bigger and more expensive than your own wedding.
- Your favorite celebrities are the ones who have complimented your kids at the grocery store.
photo: Meteo via Flickr
- You’ll drive past 3 different Starbucks (and 18 other–better–coffee shops) just to get to the one drive thru Starbucks on the other side of town.
- Your kids think snow is made in a factory and delivered by trucks to museums and malls.
- The elementary school talent show sells out so fast you have to scalp tickets outside to get in to see the show. (This one is from reader Karen Blackwood – thank you!)
- Your pediatrician just booked a six-figure sitcom deal, based on their Instagram Stories.
- Your kid thinks the four food groups are sushi, burrito, power bar and green juice.
- You love the Metro! At least in theory. And you’re totally going to take it some day, when it doesn’t involve driving 40 minutes to a station, and paying $20 to leave your car there…
- There were at least 6 moms at your school drop off this morning wearing matching Fabletics gear and full no-make up make up.
photo: Brittany Randolph via Creative Commons
- The way you stock the car with snacks and toys to make a 5-mile trip across town make it look like you’re heading to the Grand Canyon.
- You are moved to tears when you score a parking spot in the actual parking lot.
- Your kids’ wardrobes are significantly cooler than their parents.
- You politely decline any play date invitations located on the other side of the 10.
- Your kiddo’s school offers film theory & robotics classes. Your kid is four.
- Mommy and me classes are more often nanny and me classes.
- Your babysitter bailing due to an audition is a regular occurrence.
- Your offspring think it’s normal to sit behind the star of the movie while watching the movie.
- Your home birth was filmed and used in a short film. (This one is from reader Spring Hill – thank you!)
- Forget Dick and Jane. Your kiddo’s class is filled with names like Dax, Stone, Elston, Blueberry, Finn, Love, Tiger Lily, and at least 3 kids with “alternate spellings” of the same name.
- The cost of your kid’s preschool tuition could fund the ACA.
- You have more playdates on the calendar than you had dates in all of high school.
Which of these resonate with you? What signs of LA parenting have we forgotten? Let us know in the comments!