I personally hate the let down that is Valentine’s Day. Apparently these people really hate it too…or they hate their partners. Why else would you buy these gifts for that special someone?

toilet-paper

If you buy these for your beloved then you truly are a crappy spouse.

fundies

There is nothing fun about this gift.

housewares

Nothing says I love you like an iron or a toaster, or a vacuum. No woman wants to be reminded that you love the way she irons your dress slacks.

rinkeychains

Can you image opening a little box on the most romantic day of the year and seeing that sparkle? And then you realize it’s actually a key chain? This is just mean.

meat-heart

When you’re young and in love you can probably get away with this. But if you pull that on Valentine’s Day now, chances are indigestion will be the real gift.

bitch-bear

And … you’re single.

chocolates

No chocolate. We just endured Thanksgiving, holiday parties and New Year’s Eve. We just made resolutions to lose all this holiday weight and you bring home a BOX of chocolates?

love-coupons

So let me get this straight. You are basically off the hook at life until you hand me a coupon, and THEN you do the dishes? In no universe is this romantic.

jeans

You can never ever buy clothes for your woman that requires you to choose a size and brand. If they are too large, she will roll her eyes and think about what a pain the exchange will be. If they’re too small, then you are dead.