The Eastside. Home of Bill and Melinda Gates, the world’s largest PC software company and Costco’s signature label. Haven for wine lovers and for shoppers and business execs alike. We love it, and we love to mock it. If you’re living in the burbs, you know the ropes (and you likely wouldn’t trade it for anything). Read on to find out if you’ve officially acclimated (or never left) the Eastside—then let us know in a comment which signs you identify with the most.
photo: Hina S. via Yelp
1. Wear Lululemon pants. Or a hoodie. Or both. Generally both.
2. Grasp the prerequisite Starbucks mug (likely filled with frothy mom fuel, but if it’s past 3 p.m. it might be wine masquerading as a latte. Just saying. No judgment.).
3. Require a large parking lot close to your final destination, otherwise forget about it. Street parking? Parallel parking? You can’t be serious?
4. Cruise around in an SUV. Usually of the luxury variety (as do your littles).
photo: Amanda Apodaca
5. Know the exact times Bellevue Square opens and closes, and all the best back routes to get there.
6. Push a jogging stroller. Also of the luxury variety.
photo: Bugaboo Buffalo
7. Drive to a park (vs. walk) 9 times out of 10.
8. Don Uggs, Hunter Boots, Toms or Tory Burch sandals depending on the season (and your mini me likely does too).
photo: Rebecca McGinnis
9. Plan your Seattle visits strategically depending on traffic and the 520 bridge schedule.
10. Are thinking about having a third kiddo, and already have him or her on the preschool waiting list.
photo: Jennifer B. Davis
11. Know how to avoid the Microsoft Merge at 520/405/I-90 at rush hour.
12. Dream of cruising University Village shops – Land of Nod, Pottery Barn Kids – but it just seems too far.
photo: University Village Facebook page
13. Can easily find the “hidden” Bellevue Toys R Us (and know that the Alderwood one is bigger, and thus the only store likely to have exactly what you’re looking for).
14. Always visit a favorite pumpkin patch/corn maze/tree farm, literally just down the street from your home.
Photo: Jennifer B. Davis
15. Confuse Magnolia and Madrona.
16. Consider riding a bus or a ferry a major, day-long “outing.”
photo: Kristina Moy
17. Have never been to the Locks (and are still somewhat convinced they open right to the ocean).
18. Don’t know about (and are missing the fun that is) Archie McPhee’s.
photo: Archie McPhee Facebook page
What did we miss? Share your Eastside parent-isms in a comment below!
—Jennifer B. Davis
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