Who is this person taking over your body? It’s the new you — that’s who. Parenthood will change anybody in funny, wild and wonderful ways. Here are 18 things that happen.

1. You call everyone under four feet tall “sweetheart” or “sweetie.”

short-child

photo credit: Mark Probst via flickr

2. You rarely get to have all of your desert to yourself. Everyone wants a bite.

slicing-cake

photo credit: m01229 via flickr

3. You swear you’re not scatterbrained … and then you realize you walked out the door wearing your leggings inside out and tried to unlock your car with a pacifier.

mom-and-pacifier

photo credit: Joshua Ganderson via flickr

4. Something will inevitably break. Something important like your great-great grandmother’s 18th-century tea set.

broken-porcelain

photo credit: Matt Reinbold via flickr 

5. You’ve learned how to turn the most simple and cheap things (like a plain ol’ bucket of water) into hours of afternoon fun.

kid-in-bucket

photo credit: Mike Knapp via flickr

6. You frequently end phone conversations with “Stop that! Gotta go.” And your friends understand why.

telephone

photo credit: The Italian Telephone via flickr

7. Hand sanitizer never leaves your side. Like, never. No, seriously, never-ever.

Purell

photo credit: Valerie Everett via flickr

8. You call your husband “Daddy” in a way that is anything but kinky. Even in public. Even long after the kids have gone to bed.

couple-talking

photo credit: David Amsler via flickr

9. You start talking in a high-pitched baby voice at home and sometimes to the grocery store checkout person, by accident.

grocery-store-checkout

photo credit: redjar via flickr

10. You point out the cute doggie or the firetruck, and then realize your kids aren’t in the car and your best friend isn’t all that interested in “pretty doggies.”

murphy-puppy

11. The slow cooker has become your new best friend.

slow-cooker

photo credit: Janine via flickr

12. What gym? Your workout routine now consists of squatting to pick up the toys and books littering your living room. Feel the burn!

messy-playroom

photo credit: Kajsa Bergman Fallen via flickr

13. You turn around every time you hear “Mom!” Even if your kids aren’t with you.

woman-turning-around

photo credit: ktoine via flickr

14. Your purse contains everything your family needs to survive for days, including half-eaten snacks from last November.

messy-purse

photo credit: valerie renee via flickr

15. You vow to teach your kid good manners. And it works out — sometimes.

manners-janine

photo credit: Janine Dodge 

16. You have one really buff arm from carrying around a massive diaper bag. And, after that, a 20-pound toddler.

diaper-bag

photo credit: Mrs. Flinger via flickr

17. You think “sleeping in” is waking up at the ripe hour of 6:30 a.m.

sleeping-in

photo credit: Thomas Widmann via flickr

18. You feel like your real, true self. And you’ve never been filled with so much love.

kristinamoyandboys

photo credit: Kristina Moy

— Kristina Moy, Ayren Jackson-Cannady, Phebe Wahl, Meghan Rose, Janine Dodge, Ruby Germain, Erin Lem & Kelly Aiglon