Kids ask the darndest things–especially when it’s lights out. From “can I get some soda” (ummmm…no!) to “why does it get dark…then light…then dark again?” (why, kid? are you writing a dissertation?), we’ve rounded up a list of real-life bedtime questions asked by the under-10 set. How many of them has your kid asked?

5516468143_d357d29c9a_zPhoto: Jessica Lucia via Flickr

1. “Can I have a scoop of ice cream? Or pudding? Or some milk…and cookies?”
You just brushed your teeth, though.

2. “Can you tell me a story about dandelions?” But you don’t have any dandelion books…oh, wait–you want me to make it up. Ummmm…no.

3. “Did you hear that lion growl in the attic?” You mean the heater vent turn on? Yeah, I heard that.

4. “Do you think you could get my stuffed animal(s) a little drink of water? Sure, here’s some pretend water in my hands. Lap it up, Snuffles.

5. “What happens after you die?” [Blank stare.]

6. “What kind of light bulbs are in my light?” Is this really pertinent information, since it’s actually about to be turned off?

7. “Have you seen my stuffed bunny?” You mean the one I donated months ago because it wasn’t being played with?

8. “Have you seen my action figure?” You mean the one I threw away months ago because the dog chewed its head off.

9. “Is my sister a girl?” Sister is to girl, as Ford is to car.

10.”Can you watch me sleep?” I actually have to wash the dishes, make lunch for tomorrow, shower, do a load of laundry…who am I kidding? Yes! Yes, I can watch you sleep.

11. “Are gillymcbubble monsters real?” What. Are. You. Even. Talking. About?

12.”Can we sing ‘Let it Go’ from ‘Frozen in French now?” I mean…we already hummed it, sang it backwards, sang it while doing contemporary dance moves, and sang it in an old lady voice, so what difference will one more time make.

13.”Can you carry me upstairs to my room like a baby?” But you’re six years old…and you’re the tallest in your class.

14. [Screaming from the bedroom…] “CAN I GO POOP?” These are the kinds of questions that don’t need to be asked. Just get up and go.

15. “Can you tell me a joke?” Knock Knock. Who’s there? Go to. Go to who? Go to bed!

16. “Can I have another hug?” Yes. As many as you want.

What kind of questions do your kids ask at bedtime? Tell us in the comments section below. 

–Ayren Jackson-Cannady