I had a handful of girlfriends growing up. But with two sisters and a cousin that was like a third sister I also enjoyed hanging out with the guys so besides my sisters and cousin my closest girlfriends growing up were my softball teammates, one in particular that I played with from the time I was ten years old.

I remember as we entered the dating age how often one of us would complain about different girlfriends being so obsessed with their new love they never made time for their friends anymore. Then though we stood up in each other’s weddings, life got busy as we got older. We have husbands that are now suppose to be our best friends, careers we’re working on building, homes to take care of, and just adult responsibilities. Then we added kids to our lives and the thought of making time and maintaining those relationships with the friends in our lives seemed impossible.

But stop, ladies. You are going to need her- that friend you don’t think you have time for anymore. Sure, she gets it that you’re busy, that you’re married now, that you have more responsibilities than you can keep up with now too, and that kids are your first priority in life at this point. But you still need her too. You’ll need her when you’re worried sick about your child in the middle of the night, and she’s the one also awake with her babe and can talk you through the worry and anxiety. You’ll need her when one little off the wall Facebook post sounds the alarm bells and she’s calling you, concerned and ready to listen to the loss of your latest pregnancy. You’ll need her when you’re both overwhelmed and frustrated that even as much as husbands try and do what they can, they just can’t understand what it’s like to be the mom and you’ll laugh and cry together over a glass or a bottle or two of wine. You’ll need her when the depression blues are feeling like they’re swallowing you into the abyss and that late night phone call to her is the lifeline you didn’t know you needed to pull you back to safety. 

They are your tribe, ladies. These are the girls that you can be yourself with, that you can let your guard down with, that will get you when no one else will. They will cheer you on and be happy for your successes when you’re the allstar that you are, and they’ll be there to listen and offer a shoulder to cry on when motherhood is taking you down. They are your village. Not the village to raise your kids, but the village that will support you in the highs and lows. They are the ones that will believe in your when no one else will. They know the best of  you, and they know the worst of you. But they love you judgment free in a time in your life when you feel more judged than middle school.  Life will get busy, life will get messy, but no matter what don’t let them go.

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