1. It took 4 weeks? Lucky…
https://twitter.com/JannaKilimnik/status/1176106381218340864?s=20
2. Containment breach!
Top parent level is achieved when your sick kid is ONLY able to sleep in a position that means all sneezes and coughs go directly into your eyeball and you take it knowing full well you will be knocked down by illness very soon.
— mummy dear 🎈 (@ThatMummyLife) September 23, 2019
3. Must…stay…well…
My throat hurts. This can't happen.
— Julie Burton 🎃 (@ksujulie) April 7, 2016
If I get sick, the house collapses, and my family wanders the streets in search of shelter and food.
4. See ya in a few weeks.
2 of 7 kids are sick with a stomach flu so I just went ahead and cleared my calendar for the next month.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 10, 2016
5. Every.Time.
The only things certain in life are death, taxes, and your kids getting sick on the day you have something important to do.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) January 18, 2017
6. Perfect score!
Sick kid waking up: Achy. Sluggish. Can’t get out of bed.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 15, 2018
Sick kid 20 minutes after taking ibuprofen: Is competing in cross-country skiing in Pyeongchang
7. Tis a good day.
When you say "at least the kid got most of the vomit into the toilet this time" you know you're having a really good day as a parent.
— Dan (@MilkmanDanimal) February 26, 2015
8. So very sorry.
"My dear, sweet child. I'm so very sorry you're sick." I say, across the room wearing a surgical mask, while patting her with a 10 ft pole.
— Ash (an spooky female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) February 22, 2016
9. The second part of your life begins.
One of the most rewarding moments you have as a parent is when you realize your kid is old enough to clean up his own puke.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 27, 2015
10. If only.
My kid said he was going to throw up and I said "oh no you're not" like I actually hold that kind of power.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) October 18, 2016
11. Let me just put in another load.
Like the perpetually burning fires of hell, the washing machine in the home of a 3-year-old with a stomach bug.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) April 11, 2016
12. Generally speaking, it’s a free for all.
Having sick kids is actually kinda nice bc it relieves pressure to do fun activities, wear clothes, and bathe or eat at regular intervals.
— Sweatpants Scare🔸 (@House_Feminist) March 29, 2015
––Karly Wood
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