When you have your first child, your world changes. You are now responsible for a little human being and you try to plain everything down to the last detail. You read all the books, learn all the tricks, dress them perfectly, and follow all the rules. Then, the second child comes along. Things are a little less perfect. You still do the best you can, but it is not quite the same…simply because there is not enough of you to go around. Then, the third baby comes. Well…that poor child gets a little less…It is not intentional, but just the way things go with the chaotic freak show we call our lives.

So, here we go. Here are the ways I have probably (definitely) failed my third child:

1. Lack of professional photos of your infancy. Things were busy. I did the best I could.

2. Terrible gift ideas. I admit it, my response to anyone that asked for gift ideas for you was: “She doesn’t need anything! We have way too many toys!” I hope you didn’t miss out on the latest and greatest thing because I told everyone you needed clothes.

3. I let you eat dirt, sand, and sometimes the occasional rock.

4. Messy house. There are crumbs, hair, toys, clothes, used Kleenex, band aid wrappers, and a million other things all over the floor. It’s hard to keep up with three tornadoes!

5. Lack of calm and the sweet sound of silence. I hope that someday you will. It is glorious.

6. No record of your “firsts”. I truthfully have no idea when you started walking, or when you said your first word. It is not that it wasn’t as important, but I simply had so much going on that I didn’t write it down.

7. I regularly call you by the wrong name. Three kids, a dog, and a cat is too confusing for my old brain.

8. You don’t know what it is like to be on time for anything. It’s a s**t show getting out of the house.

9. There are choking hazards all over the house when you were an infant. Those damn Legos and Shopkins…they are everywhere.

10. You have basically been fending for yourself since you could walk. Look on the bright side, you have excellent survival skills!

Clearly we have let a few things slip through the cracks in the midst of the craziness of life. To my third baby…I’m so sorry! We love you and would never change a thing…except all of the ways above.