From the soccer carpool to the never-ending assortment of mismatched socks, sometimes there are days when you’ve only got a few seconds (or 140 characters) to get in a good giggle. Well, sit back and get ready to scroll because we’ve scoured the Twitterverse for moms and dads that rap about the highs and lows of parenting, and the results are hilarious.
1. Such a sad fate.
3: PART OF MY CHEESE STICK IS MISSING!
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 11, 2015
M: What happened?
3: *crying* It's gone.
M: Where'd it go?
3: In my mouth because I ate it.
2. Some things are worth fighting for.
Some kids fight over toys.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 12, 2015
My kids fight over the front seat like it's front row at the Oscars.
3. Truth.
If you don't want the whole world to know something do not tell it to a 4yo.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) October 12, 2015
4. A good reason to get a dog.
My kids say they're hungry, but all I hear is, we'd like to waste some food now.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) October 12, 2015
5. How considerate!
Me: Why did you throw this shirt in the laundry if you only wore it for 1 hour?
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) October 13, 2015
7: Because I knew you'd be mad if I threw it on the floor.
6. Poor Henry.
Her: DAD! YOU STEPPED ON HENRY!
— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) October 16, 2015
Me: Who's Henry?
Her: No one now. He is dead. You stepped on him.
Me: I'm sorry.
Her: Say sorry to Henry.
7. Every kid’s 5 star entreé.
7yr olds would rather eat 4 day old stale goldfish crackers found in the minivan than the hot meal in front of them.
— Beatriz🌻 (@wittwitbarista) October 16, 2015
Savages.
8. A valid concern.
http://twitter.com/est1975blog/status/654327606733500421
9. 60 seconds of heaven is better than no heaven at all.
My kids were quiet for a whole minute so now I know what heaven feels like.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) October 13, 2015
10. Let it go: “The mug never bothered me anyway.”
Made it to that level of dad where I don't even care, I'm just glad there's coffee in it. pic.twitter.com/oZNKPlQrUw
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 16, 2015
11. She’s sassy and she knows it
daddy, can I snuggle in your bed?
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) October 14, 2015
-sure, sweetie…come on in
um, no, I mean you need to get out of your bed so I can snuggle alone
12. When you forget the punchline…just walk away
http://twitter.com/est1975blog/status/630410811618390016
13. No words…
"Look mom! I'm like a fountain!"
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) October 15, 2015
3, peeing while laying down.
14. Close one!
7: When I was waiting up for the tooth fairy I saw you tiptoe in my room.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) October 16, 2015
Me: *panicking*
7: Were you trying to see her too?
Me: I SURE WAS!
— Frankie Katafias