Nothing is more stressful as a parent than when your baby is crying and you don’t know why. I’m lucky that my baby girl usually only cries for the basics: to eat, a diaper change, maybe a snuggle (or unfortunately, when she’s fighting sleep). Sometimes, when we’ve covered all the obvious causes and she’s still going, I start wondering why she’s really wailing. She can be a pretty serious baby, so it seems like she might have some pretty serious concerns, that I can only begin to guess at. Sometimes I wonder if she’s:

1. Upset that Game of Thrones is over until next year

2. Self-conscious about being bald

3. Possessed by demons

4. Has a diaper wedgie

5. Trying to ask for an iPhone

6. Wants to play PokemonGo

7. Still mad about that time an old lady mistook her for a boy and I didn’t correct her

8. Feels I don’t “get” her st‌yle vibe and dislikes her outfit

9. Dislikes me

10. Sick of eating the same thing all the time

11. Would like sole possession of my bed (but would settle for a bigger crib)

12. Thinks she’s too cool for Mommy and Me class

13. Objects to me plastering her photos all over the Internet (and may have a point)

14. Wants an allowance

15. Doesn’t think she gets enough screen time

I’m sure before I know it, she’ll be talking up a storm and telling me exactly what she’s so mad about. Fingers crossed it’s not number 9.