Photo: Patricia Wood

A pregnant woman is like, well, like a ticking time bomb in so many ways. I mean that in the best way possible. Some are more flammable than others, some have shorter wicks than others, and most have unsuspecting blasting agents which will ignite an explosion. It’s just the way it is, and the more pregnant she becomes, the more volatile she can be. So let me add a few nuggets to consider when dealing with a pregnant woman, to make things more pleasant for you and for her, and JUST DON’T.

Don’t Play The Name Game

Naming another human being is hard. Coming up with the perfect mixture of first, middle and last name is no easy feat, especially if you’ve got a doozy of a last name like Hickey or Wood, or Hosack.  Considering the potential nicknames or bully fodder you may be providing for your little one is a mental anguish that most moms go through. So when she comes to you with a list of names she is starting to love, tread lightly. Be supportive and as positive as possible. If there is a name you do not like, watch your facial expressions, because following that grimace may be a pregnant fist. It’s hard enough, and we all have our own opinions, but keep yours to yourself if it is not positive. Focus on the ones you like and just don’t bash the others.

Never Ask This Question

After doctor visits a certain person always asked me, “Are You Still Pregnant?”. Just don’t. I can’t even begin… just don’t.  I am sure no ill intentions were meant by this, but all it ever did was piss me off royally, make me feel this person was not interested in the reality of my baby, and just has a grim connotation to it all. Don’t do it. Like ever.

Spare Her The Warning

No one can prepare you for motherhood. No child is the same. No second child is the same. No mother is the same. When mama-to-be is having a baby, first, second or eighth, spare her the warning about what  it’s going to be like.  She’s already stressing about what it might be like anyway. She doesn’t need your crap too.

She Can Count

I’ve done it myself. Just today actually. There is no one more aware of how much time is left in a pregnancy than the pregnant woman. With her lungs getting squished, her everything getting bigger, her bladder becoming a punching bag… she knows how many fucking days are left.  Don’t count them down for her. Just don’t.

 

Don’t Be A Critic

Being pregnant is hard. Even the best, most easy going pregnant woman is going through a lot of crap emotionally, physically and mentally. She does not need a single word from you unless it is praising her beautiful belly, glowing cheeks, or overall super preparedness for the impending birth. Be positive. Remind her, no matter how she feels, that being pregnant is a beautiful thing, and she is beautiful for being pregnant. Then when she tells you to shut up, and you really want to keep going… just don’t.

Keeping these “just don’ts” in mind can assist one in maneuvering the minefield that can be communication with a pregnant woman. Listen to the tick, tick, tick, be respectful, and cut the lady some slack. She has a human growing inside her for goodness sake.

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