Bad moms don’t worry about being bad moms.
This is what I keep repeating to myself as I walk in on the wreckage formerly known as my living room. My 5-year-old is surrounded by the “magical confetti” she made out of the school registration forms that were supposed to be filled out and signed two days ago. The 12-month-old is gnawing on her arm like a zombie from The Walking Dead because apparently the molars she is sprouting were inherited from Mr. Ed.
I am on the brink of losing it. My house is a mess. My kids are a mess. My life is a mess. I am a mess. The rest of the day I am on edge. Snapping at anyone and everyone who comes in my path. I ignore my daughter even though I can clearly hear her call my name from 10 feet away. I get frustrated with the fact that the baby is a baby and can’t do anything for herself. I am a brat to my husband. I blame it all on them.
But it’s not them I’m mad at, it’s me. Because beneath all of the responsibilities, exhaustion, stress and complaining, I worry about the thing that scares me most. I worry that I am not cut out for this. I worry that I am too selfish. Too moody. Too incompetent. Worry that I am a bad mom.
Then a little piece of information pops into my head that I must have learned long ago in Psych 101 or on Dr. Phil or something: Crazy people don’t know they are crazy. The same theory applies to moms. Bad moms don’t care enough to even worry about not being good enough. Bad moms don’t bother to waste their time worrying about being bad moms!
You’re not a bad mom because you lose your temper. You’re not a bad mom if you miss the deadline to sign your kid up for camp. You’re not a bad mom if you hit up the drive thru more times in a week than you’d like to admit. You’re not a bad mom if you forget to do laundry and send your kid to school in a shirt with a stain. You’re not a bad mom. Do you know what you are? Human.
So the next time your mind starts swirling with all the parenting “mistakes” you have made. All of the “if onlys,” “I should haves” and “buts” just stop yourself right there and remember: Bad moms don’t worry if they are bad moms. So if you’re having one of those days where you just feel like you are doing everything wrong and you are sure you’re screwing your kid up and you start to worry… Well, there’s your proof: the fact that you care SO much, means you are an AWESOME mom.