Baby keeping you up all night? Join the club. (Sleep-deprived parents, unite!) If you’ve read every sleep tip under the sun, tried the clever gadgets, gotten advice from everyone you know (and some people you don’t) and still can’t get your mini-me to sleep, he or she is probably trying to tell you something. If your baby could talk, here’s what he’d say about waking up at all hours.

Swaddle Secret

Photo credit: Brian via Flickr

Swaddle Secret

Have you ever tried sleeping in a straight jacket? I know you refer to it as “swaddling,” but let’s call it for what it really is: innocent baby torture.

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Photo credit: Wade Armstrong via Flickr

Creepy Camera

Every night when you turn the camera monitor on, I get a creepy feeling that someone is watching me. It’s like my own personal horror movie every night. Shut off the camera and maybe we can both get some shut eye.

Solo Time

Photo credit: Kathryn via Flickr

Solo Time

During the day, I have to compete for your attention. In the middle of the night, you’re mine. All mine. I can’t let you waste that precious time sleeping. I care about you too much.

 

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Photo credit: Mike Liu via Flickr

Musical Mistake

Your nightly lullaby selection leaves something to be desired – mainly, my ability to sleep. “‘Down will come baby, cradle and all? Really?'” That song gives me all the feels … and not in a good way.

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Photo credit: Juhan Sonin via Flickr

Diaper Dilemma

I have a diaper wedgie. Enough said.

Crib Complaint

Photo credit: NICHD via Flickr

Crib Complaint

I know. The Powers That Be don’t want me to sleep anywhere even remotely comfortable. I get that it’s for my safety and all, but you try sleeping on the kitchen table tonight. This crib mattress is the equivalent.

Time Is on My Side

Photo credit: Dineshraj Goomany via Flickr

Time Is on My Side

I know you think I am a baby genius, but I can’t tell time yet. It may be 2 am to you, but, to me, it’s party o’ clock.

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Photo credit: nerissa’s ring via Flickr

Pass the Bottle

I’m trying to get down with this warm milk before bed thing, but it clearly isn’t helping me relax. How about sharing some of that sangria I saw you sipping at dinner?

Into the Light

Photo credit: Travis Isaacs via Flickr

Into the Light

I spent the last 9 months in a dark, quiet womb. Not exactly the most exciting way to start a life. I’m just trying to make up for lost time.

Is your baby a party animal or cry baby at night? Tell us what you think has them burning the midnight oil.  

–Suzanna Palmer