There is so much hatred in the world these days.
People are hated for their political preferences, race, religion and the like. There seems no end to what people will attack each other over. We must find a way to heal. We the people need to unite over something, find common ground to bond over if you will.
Enter The Bald Prince of Darkness, Caillou.
We can ALL hate Caillou! He is the most hated television character in all of the land. Many comes close: Max and Ruby, Daniel Tiger, The Bubble Guppies, Barney, but no one is as bad as the kid who’s four. Yes, each day he grows some more…more obnoxious and stupid. Let’s set our differences aside and look at why Caillou will suck the joy from your life and destroy your will to live.
Caillou Only Whine
All kids whine, this is true. Other kids have varying channels however. Aside from dreadfully asinine, they can also be kind, sweet, loving and snuggly. These endearing qualities will get you through their millions of raging, whiny tantrums. Caillou has no endearing qualities, nor does he have other emotional channels.
Caillou Will Teach Your Kiddo How To Be Epically Bad
Like other television shows, Caillou is laced with common and repetitive themes. Such themes include: whining, pouting and tantrum throwing. My kids do enough of that crap without your evil influence. Step off!
He Is So Bad…Everyone In His Life Is Depressed
His mother has obviously given up on life. She can not even put a bra on for crying out loud! Her clothing choices, hair choices, ability to simply ignore the fact that her child is a demon-alien hybrid…all point to some serious depressive symptoms. Grandma? His teacher? They all appear to be suffering from CCTS (Chronic Caillou Torture Syndrome). I hope they all get help before it is too late.
He Tortures Animals
I think he is torturing Gilbert The Cat. Now I can’t prove this, and I have unfortunately seen a whole lot of Caillou episodes. However, Caillou does make Gilbert play with him quite often. I consider this the worst form of torture, so I am going with this one.
He is the Epitome of Intolerance
Caillou tolerates very little. Olives…hates them. His friends are unable to play…pissy, ranty mood. Rosie the Baby…girl better watch her back. I think it is fair to say Caillou was born to be an only child. Rosie has been around for sometime now and Caillou still struggles with her existence. Get over it, Caillou. Rosie’s existence is probably the only reason that your parents have not run away yet.
This list could go on forever really. There are so many reasons why we should all hate this kid. Try hard as I might, there are very few nice things to say about this little nightmare. The one thing this gremlin can do though is unite us in our need for him to disappear. You see, we can really all get along. All it took was this annoying kid to show us the way.