Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: March 2, 2018

My kid’s favorite thing to dip in ketchup is her sleeve.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 25, 2018

Congratulations on the birth of your son, and your bathroom smelling like urine for the rest of your life.

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 25, 2018

When a 6yo shouts from a bathroom that they definitely don't need help, take a deep breath, accept the fact they they do need help, grab some bleach and plan on selling the house.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) February 27, 2018

Welcome to your 30s. You're tired all the time now, but you need Tylenol PM to fall asleep.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) February 28, 2018

I became the proud owner of a minivan today, so if anyone would like my signature casserole recipe, let me know because I probably have one now.

— The Mom at Law (@TheMomAtLaw) February 28, 2018

No matter how hard toddlerhood gets, I always remain thankful that we're no longer in the "wobbly neck" phase.

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) February 28, 2018

When choosing a Lego set to buy for your child, consider whether the finished product will pair well with your living room decor for the next few months.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 28, 2018

Shout-out to all the parents hiding a baggie of human teeth in their underwear drawer.

— your mom (@eff_yeah_steph) February 28, 2018

My 5yo is having a meltdown because vests don't have sleeves.

He has apparently run out of things to be outraged over.

— Heather M. Jones (@hmjoneswriter) February 28, 2018

Whenever I ask my toddler for a smooch, instead of actually giving me one, he offers his cheek for me to kiss, like he’s the freaking Pope.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 1, 2018