Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week

Ah, parenting––it’s always a journey. Whether you’re a first-time parent or a been there, done that mom, there are always plenty of surprises. Luckily for us, we have an extended Twitter family to keep us laughing through all the twists and turns. Keep scrolling to see our roundup of the funniest tweets from this past week!

1. Just give us all the coffee.

You know you're a parent when your coffee smells suspiciously like crayons

(and you drink it anyway)

— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) April 15, 2019

2. Is this over yet?

Me: You guys ready to dye eggs?
6yo: Yay, I wanna dye, I can’t wait to dye!!!

Halfway through it, I agreed.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 14, 2019

3. The worst.

Stepping on a Mega Blok is the worst pain because it serves as a reminder that you can't afford Lego.

— Nathan Gregory (@MrGirlDad) April 16, 2019

4. I mean, is that so much to ask?

My life would be so much easier if my family would stop wearing clothes and eating.

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) April 16, 2019

5. You know you’re a parent when…

Hey, dude who honked at me at drop-off, we shall finish this at pick-up.

— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) April 16, 2019

6. Because kids are gross.

Once, a long time ago, when dinosaurs ruled the world and man had not yet walked upright, there was a cheerio.

And I'm pretty sure my son just found that cheerio behind the couch and ate it.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) April 16, 2019

7. ::rubs hands evilly::

My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble.

So, I've decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other.

Your move itches

— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) April 16, 2019

8. 🤷‍♂️

Sure, I'll be the first dad to admit it: when I see group pictures of my daughter with the other bald babies at daycare, I lean on outfits to figure out which one is her.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 17, 2019

9. Just look away.

The way my 1yo attacks her Mac n’ Cheese reminds me of a lioness tearing apart a fresh gazelle, and honestly, I feel the need to look away.

— Mummy Bunny 🐇 (@ThatMummyLife) April 17, 2019

10. Never.

My daughter calls a single slipper from a pair of slippers a "slip" and I'm never going to correct her.

— Ｍｏｍｚｉｌｌａ (@milliondollrfam) April 17, 2019

11. And the screams say it all.

My daughter is appealing to the Geneva Conventions to add a parent brushing a child's hair to the list of banned forms of torture.

— Dad Bits (@DadBits) April 17, 2019

12. Sounds about riiiiiigggghhhhhttttt.

I can always tell when 9 is bored because he uses my full name of “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”

— TheAlexNevil, Bed Hunter (@TheAlexNevil) April 17, 2019

––Karly Wood

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