Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: February 23, 2018

As we emerge from the flu season, parents are afire with hilarious things this last week on Twitter. Keep reading for our roundup of the top 10 parenting tweets of the week.

1. No comparison.

Sure horror movies might be scary, but have you ever caught your toddler walking across a tile floor holding a glass jar?

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 18, 2018

2. Press “repeat.”

Eating breakfast with a toddler is fun if you like saying “eat your breakfast” for 2 hours.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 18, 2018

3. You’ve been mommed.

9yo: You’re annoying.

7yo: No, you’re annoying.

6yo: You’re both annoying.

Me: Guys, guys. Calm down. Let me settle this. You all are annoying.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 20, 2018

4. ::quickly goes insane::

Me: You gotta get dressed, kiddo, we’re leaving soon.
7yo:
Me: Get dressed, please.
7yo:
Me: Please get dressed.
7yo:
Me: Hurry up and get dressed.
7yo:
Me: Put your clothes on.
7yo:
Me: We have to leave in 3 minutes!
7yo:
Me: GET DRESSED RIGHT NOW!!!!!
7yo: Ok! Don’t yell at me!

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 21, 2018

5. I scream, you scream, we all scream….

I see these posts like "I start my day with yoga, maybe a barre class if I have time." and I'm all "I start my day with screaming. The toddler's screaming, the baby's screaming, I'm screaming. Everybody's screaming. It's great! Really gets the blood pumping!"

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 21, 2018

6. “It’s called selective hearing, Ma.”

Toddlers don’t hear you call their name 50x but they hear that chip bag open

— Kay (@KaylarWill) February 21, 2018

7. All the coughing.

Before kids, the soundtrack to life is something peaceful, like Enya. After kids, it's anything by Pantera mixed with coughing.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) February 23, 2018

8. Why do I even bother?

What I say: “Just a minute.”

What my toddler hears: “Ask again right now. And now. And…again, now. “

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 22, 2018

9. And they’re so delicious.

I decided to become a dad when I noticed how many kids never finish their nuggets.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 21, 2018

10. Nope.

“Yes, you can play the iPad but only if you sit right by me and tell me every single detail about the game you play. Leave nothing out.”

-Said no parent ever.

— Cydni Beer (@themessednest) February 22, 2018