Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: Jan. 18, 2019

“OMG I used to love this in my childhood!” – my 9yo, finding an old toy from when she was 4

— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 13, 2019

4: mama.. you’re banished!

Dreams really do come true!! #leavingonajetplane

— Kathleen (@sweatsntopknots) January 13, 2019

Like gamblers in a casino where they lose track of time cause no clocks or windows, but it’s me in my toddler’s room trying to put her back to sleep in the middle of the night.

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2019

It's not a cup of coffee if I haven't reheated it five times.

— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) January 15, 2019

I’ve never vacationed alone but I did get to go to the grocery store without my kids one time.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 15, 2019

Went shopping and asked my 4 year old if he could please make it an easy trip and he replied “I WILL NEVER MAKE IT EASY!” so I guess his New Year’s resolution is to get into resistance training.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) January 15, 2019

I’m going to become a famous YouTuber.

Then my kids will finally listen to any old crap I say and they’ll remember it for weeks.

It’s crazy enough to work.

— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 15, 2019

7yo: the tooth fairy didn't bring me anything.
Me: … i'll send her an email
7yo: you have to send her an email *every* time
Me: *getting testy* well she has a lot to do so she forgets stuff
7yo: *mutters* no wonder you are friends

— Sabaa Tahir (@sabaatahir) January 16, 2019

I'm at my best level of hypochondriac three minutes after one of my sick kids sneezes in my mouth.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) January 16, 2019

This morning, one of my tiny humans was enraged because his socks weren’t blue (they were blue) and the other was distraught that his banana was not pointy enough.

All things considered it’s a pretty standard morning with toddlers. #Dadlife #Parenting

— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) January 17, 2019