Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: March 15, 2018

My kids started calling me boss today, so now I have the painful task of figuring out which one I’m going to have to let go.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 11, 2018

I get it, daylight savings time, sometimes my kids steal an hour of my sleep and I want the world to suffer, too.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 11, 2018

4-year-old: Why do we have to wear shoes?
Me: They protect your feet.
4: No, they trap your feet. *whispers* They’re feet traps.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 10, 2018

I asked my 7 year old what his dream job would be and he said “Ideally, I’d like to be retired.”

— Kristin (@FeralCrone) March 8, 2018

Plastic spoons were probably invented by a Mom who didn't want her kids to hear the metal spoon scraping against the bottom of her ice cream bowl after she put them to bed.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) March 13, 2018

Get married and have kids, so instead of giving the road your undivided attention while you're driving you can break up fights.

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 13, 2018

I don’t know if it’s Daylight Saving Time, my kids being more annoying than usual, or typical Monday BS, but for some reason today has lasted 8000 years.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 12, 2018

Pro tip: Avoid becoming comfortable too soon after tucking in your kids. Trust me, you’re not finished yet.

— your mom (@eff_yeah_steph) March 13, 2018

My morning with the kids can best be compared to reheating something in the microwave & forgetting to cover it.

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) March 15, 2018

If your child walks out of the bathroom with a cup of water, always ask where the water came from. I know this now.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 14, 2018