The weather outside may be frightful but there’s nothing like some rolling laughter to warm you right up (except, maybe cocoa). If you’re looking for the funniest Christmas and holiday-themed jokes for kids, just scroll down. We can promise giggles, groans and eye rolls.

photo: Jason Mrachina via flickr 

1. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitus

2. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause

3. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?
Because it was Decembrrrrr!

4. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y!”

5. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)


6. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

7. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.

8. What does an elf study in school?
The elfabet.

9. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowman?

10. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo-years Day.

11. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia

12. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
Merry Christmas to ewe.

13. What is an elf’s favorite sport?
North-pole vaulting.

14. What does Mrs. Claus say when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.

15. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill.

16. What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.

17. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?
A cookie sheet.

18. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Elephanta Claus.

19. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.

20. Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.

21. What do you call a greedy elf?

22. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
It had no legs.

23. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
Because he went down in history.

24. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball.

25. What did one snowman say another snowman?
You’re cool.

26. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.

27. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?
Chick to chick.

28. What do you get when Santa plays detective?
Santa clues! 

29. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel. 

30. What falls but never gets hurt?

—Amber Guetebier


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