When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent. You’ve cringed at dad jokes, you’ve laughed at even the corny dad jokes he tells and, we’ll admit, we’ve been know to repeat the best dad jokes ourselves. In fact, we’ve collected some of our all time favorite dad jokes for kids right here.
Is your dad a champion joke teller? Check out this adorable coffee mug. If he plays it a little cooler, these dad joke socks are cracking us up. And for those who like to wear it loud and proud, a dad joke t-shirt is just the thing.
Scroll down to read the best (and the worst) dad jokes ever.
1. My kid just asked me for "Can I have this apple?"
Guess he doesn’t know my name is Dad.
2. Dad to kid: Where are French fries from?
Dad to kid: Greece!
3. Charlie Chaplin and Marcel Marceau just threw microphones into the sea. Guess it’s true that great mimes sink a mic.
4. Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?
People are just dying to get in.
5. Kid: I’ll call you later!
Dad: Just call me Dad!
6. When does a joke become a Dad joke?
When the punch line becomes apparent.
7. Why do skeletons stay so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
8. This pencil has two erasers. It’s totally pointless.
9. Why doesn’t a photon need a suitcase?
Because it’s traveling light.
10. Dad to kid (in a serious voice): A word of advice, kid. Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
11. Dad to kids at dinner: I would tell you my pizza joke but it’s just too cheesy.
12. Dad: I never thought I’d be the type to have a beard. But then it just grew on me.
13. Dad tells kids: Here’s a cautionary tale. Don’t sing in the shower!
Kids: What?? Why not?
Dad: If you get soap in your mouth, it will turn into a soap opera.
14. What do you call a man who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad?
A faux pa.
15. What’s the secret to a good elevator pitch?
It has to work on many levels.
16. Dad: This book about how Newton discovered gravity is so good! I just can’t put it down.
17. Kid: Dad, it hurts when I move my arm like this.
Dad: Then don’t move your arm like that.
18. What does a house always wear to a party?
19. Time to take this cookie to the hospital! It’s feeling crummy!
20. Dad: Another word of caution. Never tell secrets near a cornfield. They’re all ears.
21. Dad: I told my kids to embrace their mistakes, then they hugged me.
22. Evaporated milk is confusing. There's so much liquid in it.
23. How does a musician win a fight?
They call for Bach up.
24. Kid: Dad, did you get a haircut?
Dad: No, I got them all cut.
25. Dad: Did you hear the butter rumor? Well, I'm not going to spread it.
26. Kid: Why are you talking to yourself, Dad??
Dad: I needed an expert's advice.
27. Dad: I am giving away all my batteries...free of charge!
28. Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a bunny wearing glasses?
29. Dad, can you put my shoes on?
"Nope. They are too small for my feet."
30. What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
31. Did you hear about the dad who chugged 8 sodas?
He burped 7-Up.
32. Kid to Dad: Why are there balloons in the bathroom?
Dad: I wanted to throw you a birthday potty.
33. Want to hear a long joke?
34. What do you call a fish with four eyes?
35. What do you call a 12-inch nose?
36. Doctor, doctor, I'm terrified of squirrels!
[Doctor] You must be nuts.
—Jerry C., faithful reader
37. Why did the bicycle keep falling over?
It was two tired.
38. Hey kids, I got you Fortnite. But it will only last two weeks.
39. What do you get when you coddle a cow?
40. How many apples are growing on that tree?
All of them.
41. I can't find the U-Cut tree farm. I'm completely stumped.
42. Is the refrigerator running? Better go catch it!
(yeah, that one hurt us, too...)
43. Did you ever notice ants don't get sick?
They're full of anty-bodies.
44. I used to hate the hokey pokey but I really turned myself around.
Send your best #dadjokes to amber AT tinybeans.com
featured photo: Luis Quintero via Pexels