After three years of IVF treatment and eight miscarriages, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade finally welcomed a baby girl via surrogate. The journey to becoming parents was a long and challenging one, but one they want to share with others to give hope to those still wishing for parenthood after infertility.

Union and Wade recently sat down with Oprah in an exclusive interview to discuss the process they went through to become parents—and what it feels like now that they’ve finally welcomed their baby girl. Union explained that despite eight miscarriages, she was never willing to give up on the idea of becoming a mom.

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“I could not let go of this idea of creating this life within me. That I could feel , that tied me to him, that he could be a part of. That the world could be a part of. Im not letting myself and all these people down. I need to be pregnant for everybody including myself,” Union explained.

At the end of the day, however, the couple came to the decision to use a surrogate and accepted the fact that it’s not about how you become parents that matters so much as actually becoming one. “There are all different way you can become parents. Everyone’s journey is different. Everyone’s journey to surrogacy is different.” Union said.

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Sunday Snuggles with @kaaviajames

A post shared by Gabrielle Union-Wade (@gabunion) on

She was candid, though, that she still struggles with not being able to carry a baby herself. “Its hard to let go of that. It’s still hard.” She continues, “Did I fail in some kind of way? Am I defective in some kind of way?”

It was important to Union and Wade to be open about their journey and to share their experience with others going through the same thing in order to provide support and information. Union said if there’s one thing she wanted viewers to take away from their story it’s, “Hope, knowledge, a feeling and a sense of community that doesn’t always feel like it exists when you’re in it. You are not alone. There’s many paths to parenthood, to motherhood. It doesn’t have to match your friend’s, your sister’s or your mama’s. Every path is real and beautiful and valid and worthwhile.”

She continued, “But more than anything, you are not alone. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You don’t have to suffer alone.”

The entire interview is moving, inspiring and well worth watching for all parents and soon-to-be parents. You can check out the full special on Oprah’s Facebook page.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Gabrielle Union via Instagram

 

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