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I first came across the art of the Yoni Egg while I was watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta one Sunday night. The gals took a day trip to a Yoni Egg Class where they, (and I) learned all about this ancient practice.

For those of you who have not been introduced to this practice, you basically insert a stone into your lady parts and do kegels. One professional Yoni-er compared regular kegels to flexing your biceps. Doing kegels with a Yoni Egg inserted is like working out with dumbbells. Basically your vagina is lifting weights. I thought that part of my body is touch as nails, apparently not though. Now we are supposed to work it out.

Here are some of the perks to “working out” with your Yoni:

  • Increased libido
  • Balance of estrogen and increased lubrication
  • Overcoming infertility
  • Easier childbirth with less tearing
  • Reduction of PMS
  • Control the muscles of the vaginal wall

This is no simple sexual exercise, this Yoni stuff is serious work. The experts advise you to bond with your Yoni and get to know it.

It. Is. A. Stone.

Is anyone else raising their eyebrows right about now? I barely have enough time in the day to bond with my kids and husband.

Another website really tried to sell the Yoni Egg by suggesting that it adds excellent decor to any nightstand! With four small kids at home, I bet you my Yoni would be gone in a matter of minutes, stolen by the kids and given a role in their land of pretend play. Can you imagine walking into someone’s bedroom and seeing something that they regularly insert into their body chilling next to their reading glasses and channel changer?

Choosing a Yoni Egg is a trip as well. There is a whole guide as to which Yoni Egg will suit your body best. I guess they are not a one size fits all kind of product. I wonder if there offer a variety pack. I don’t quite know if one Yoni would suit all of my issues.

yoni2If this is thing and you are a true Yoni lover, more power to you.  I just can not get down with the whole concept nor could I manage enough time to actually use this thing regularity.  I would be THAT person mid-Yoni, when all of the sudden a kid falls down and breaks a bone. Then I would have to waddle all the way to the doctor’s office Yoni and all.

Think I might take a pass on this trend.