Raising kids in the internet age can feel very lonely and it can be hard to ask for help when you need it most. A recent Humans of New York post about motherhood is the perfect example of why you should let go of your fears and just ask.

Being a mom is one of the most challenging things many woman will ever face and as the saying goes, it takes a village. Unfortunately those villages aren’t the same as they were in decades past. “It’s so hard to ask for help. Because you’re supposed to be ‘Mommy,’” the poster and new mom explained. “And you never want to say: ‘I need help being Mommy.’”

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“It’s so hard to ask for help. Because you’re supposed to be ‘Mommy.’ And you never want to say: ‘I need help being Mommy.’ I carried this person for nine months. I knew she was coming. I felt like I should be able to handle it and I didn’t want to ask other people to stop their lives. Especially if they had no part in making this baby. But eventually I had to give in. I’m just one person and being ‘Mama’ 24/7 can make you crazy. I found myself getting frustrated that other people were going on with their lives. I’d let things fester. And it was unhealthy for my relationships. I’d get heated with my mother and boyfriend. Instead of beginning with ‘Can you help?’ I’d lose my temper, and jump straight to: ‘Why aren’t you helping?’”

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She goes on to say that after having carried the baby for nine months and knowing that the baby was coming, she felt that she should be able to handle it and didn’t want to impose on others for help.

The funny thing is that as much as you think you are prepared for what is coming, no one really is. You can read all the books and talk to every expert, but at the end of the day it’s impossible to really know what motherhood will be like until you reach it. And then it can be overwhelming. The mother continued:

“Eventually I had to give in. I’m just one person and being ‘Mama’ 24/7 can make you crazy. I found myself getting frustrated that other people were going on with their lives. I’d let things fester. And it was unhealthy for my relationships. I’d get heated with my mother and boyfriend. Instead of beginning with ‘Can you help?’ I’d lose my temper, and jump straight to: ‘Why aren’t you helping?’”

Photo: Matheus Ferrero via Unsplash

Making the choice to become a parent doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Everyone needs help sometimes and as the poster points out, not asking for that help from the people in your life can actually hurt those relationships more.

The post generated thousands of likes and comments with an outpouring from moms who felt exactly the same way. It’s an important reminder of why moms shouldn’t be afraid to reach out, because chances are, there are other moms going through the same thing and you aren’t as alone as you think.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Ben White via Unsplash

 

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