ML Interest Tag: ache

To the Mother of a Child with a Disability This Mother’s Day

By Lauren Emmett

I am thinking about you today.

I want you to know that everything you do matters.

When you crawl into bed at night, aching from your temples to your toes, know that you have done enough. There may have been no progress made with toileting, feeding therapy or communication today and that is okay.

Your child is safe and so loved.

The weight of hectic schedules, parent trainings, OT, PT and visits with every other MD in-between can feel suffocating.

The research, the meltdowns, the battles over chicken nugget brands and clothing choices, all can withdraw every ounce of patience from your soul.

The smeared feces, the eloping, the pica and other behaviors you watched your friend’s toddlers outgrow. Years later, they remain in your child.

Most days are exhausting and thankless and I want you to know that your child appreciates you, they need you, and they love you beyond measure.

You need to know that.

Your child may not be able to express this, some of you may have never even heard your child call you “Mom.”

But they know you are Mom.

Your child is so grateful for all that you do and would be lost without you. Just as you would be lost without your sweet child.

I want you to know that you are not alone.

When your patience has been depleted.

When you’ve cried behind your sunglasses at a park as you watched your child’s differences come to light.

The loneliness you have felt from the long days spent with a child unable to read your emotions.

The difficult medical and educational decisions you struggle to make.

Know that there are so many of us with you.

We have felt the lows and celebrated the victories, too. We know the fear and the worry you wrestle with daily, and the immense pride you feel over the slightest progress.

I want you to find hope.

Today let’s bask in achievements and forget about regressions.

Even if only for one day.

Let your hope be stronger than your fears. With so many unknowns in the future, know that it’s going to get better.

I know this because we will grow stronger.

We will continue to learn, to advocate, to protect and make certain our children know their worth and just how very much they are loved.

I am so thankful for this sisterhood of amazing mothers today and every day.

Have a very Happy Mother’s Day.

This post originally appeared on Wilsonsclimb.com.

Lauren is a proud mom of two adorable kids, her son Wilson and daughter Charlie. She is constantly learning from her children and loves to share their adventures from the world of autism on wilsonsclimb.com.  Lauren shares her son's journey as one small piece in helping to spread autism awareness around the world.  

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The Space between a Diagnosis & Not Knowing

By Renee Sellers

Our daughter is 3 years old and was just recently diagnosed with autism.

This came with so many emotions, but the one I felt the most was peace. Finally, we knew. We were finally out of the unknown and we could move forward! It’s like I had a backpack on, and someone took out a bunch of rocks. I felt free. It was empowering. But, the road before her diagnosis was dark.

When you know something is wrong and you can’t fix it, as a parent it’s debilitating. It makes you feel so lifeless and weak because you can’t figure out what’s wrong. And doctors are great too, but they can only recommend so many things, cross off their lists, and ultimately, it’s not their child. It’s yours.

I felt so alone. I felt like no one in the whole entire world had ever gone through this. I had an aching in my heart for my daughter, Opal. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t know how.

That unknown area is the hardest. I was stay at home mom and it felt like it was my fault that my child wasn’t on the same level as all her peers. It was hard to celebrate other children’s victories when my child couldn’t relate. And the questions. Everyone asks why your child isn’t talking or if they know the alphabet or their colors, when I’m struggling to even get my child to eat food with some kind of nutritional value.

If you’re on that middle road right now, I want to encourage you. It’s not your fault. You are an amazing parent. Your child is amazing. You are not alone.

My heart goes out to you. I know how you’re feeling. I know the pain. I know the heartbreak. It’s one of the worst feelings ever. But, hang in there. You may feel like you want to raise your white flag and escape it all, but you have a child who needs you. You don’t have to pretend you’re strong or put on a brave face, but you do have to keep moving forward. Cry, let out your emotions, don’t bottle them up. But once you’re through, hike up your momma leggings, and fix that cape. You can do this. I’m rooting for you!

Hi! I'm a wife and mom to two beautiful girls! I have a three year old, Opal, and a one year old, Lucy. My oldest was just diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. I love to watch reruns of "FRIENDS" and drink chai tea whenever I have a free second!

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Thoughts of a Motherless Mom on Mother’s Day

By Leigha Balchus

Photo: purchased via Lightstock

Thoughts of a Motherless Mom on Mother’s Day…

Superpowers:

Since you passed away, I’ve discovered I have a superpower, an ability that saves me when a sea of grief threatens to swallow me up whole. It’s simple, yet profound, like oxygen to lungs that burn for breath.

It was granted to me the day you died. And, although it never gets easy, it grows stronger with time and helps me survive in this world without you, when doing so feels impossible.

I have the power to shift, and I’ve mastered it…most days.

I can shift my mind to other things, my attention elsewhere. ANYWHERE. Except the thought that you’re gone, nowhere to be found on this earth. I’ll never hear your voice again or feel the warmth of your embrace this side of Heaven.

On any given normal day, I’m really good at shifting. But, on Mother’s Day, I find it nearly impossible. And, honestly, I dread it.

 

A Tsunami:

Reminders of you are EVERYWHERE. From the heart-wrenching, Mom commercials that leave me reeling, like this one from Gatorade a few years back, to the store ads and the card aisle…even strolling through HEB isn’t safe!!

I can’t escape the memories that flood my mind like a tsunami, emerging without warning, reminding me that no matter how hard I search for you, you’ll never be found. I’ll never buy another Mother’s Day card again.

HOW DO I DO THIS WITHOUT YOU?!!

Sadness engulfs me. I can hardly breathe as waves of grief crash relentlessly over me, knocking me down and sweeping me under again and again. Warm tears stream down my face.

Then suddenly I hear a voice in the distance….

“Mom, are you okay?”

…and in that moment I feel it. A shift. It’s happening.

A mother arises where a daughter once stood.

 

An Unexpected Rescue:

It turns out there’s a force even greater than the waves of grief that threaten to consume me right up. It’s the greatest superpower of all.

LOVE.

Love that comes from the ones who call ME Mom, who are here, right now, excited to celebrate with ME on Mother’s Day. As much as I long for days passed, I know what you’d say. It’s time to shift into the present, to soak up MY time of being celebrated as a mom and enjoy every minute of it before it’s gone. And, as always, you’d be right.

Waves calm. Deep breath. Now shift.

Although my soul will never stop aching to see you one last time or call you and hear your sweet voice, I will choose to take hold of this force that’s more powerful than grief. One you taught me well. I will choose to shift my gaze to what’s up ahead, rather than focusing on what’s behind. And, I will honor you by loving my children well.

So that one day, when it’s my turn to leave this earth behind, and they must face Mother’s Day without me, they will be able to shift, too. Not because they won’t miss me, but because they will have the very same power within them that I have today. A legacy of LOVE that you left behind. One that will be passed down for generations to come.

The love of a Mother is a powerful force to be reckoned with.

This post originally appeared on Midland Moms Blog.

Hi, I'm Leigha! I'm a mom of two who was raised by my grandparents. I'm a suvivor, an overcomer, and a chain breaker. I believe we all have the power within us to break free of our past and write a new story for our future. That's why I write.

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SNOO Smart Bassinets for RENT? Yes, It’s True—& a Fraction of the Cost

by Shahrzad Warkentin

If you’re the exhausted parent of a sleepless baby, you’ve likely had your eye on the Tesla of baby sleep aids, a.k.a., the SNOO smart bassinet. If hefty price tag probably pumped the breaks on that idea, but you’re desperate for some shuteye, here’s how to rent a SNOO smart bassinet.

Created by Dr. Harvey Karp, author of the best-selling book The Happiest Baby on the Block, the SNOO smart bassinet promises to soothe your baby to sleep using the same tried and true methods in Karp’s book—minus the need for your aching arms. The bassinet will respond to a baby’s cries with motion and white noise to help them get the back to sleep without the need for parents to get out of bed.

This miracle device also comes at the  rather steep price of nearly $1,300 dollars. While many new parents will do just about anything to get some sleep, not everyone can afford it. Luckily, you can now rent a SNOO smart bassinet so you can catch some zzz’s without sacrificing their college fund in the process!

For just $4.90 per day, your whole family can finally get some much needed sleep when you rent a SNOO. A one-month minimum rental is required, but with free shipping both ways it’s a pretty good deal to help save you from becoming a complete mombie.

For a limited time you can even secure the a special offer of just $3.50 per day for the first month. In other words, skip your daily latte and you’ll earn the sweet reward of sleep instead. The offer is good on orders from now until Jan. 31, but you can order now and delay delivery until you need it, if your future fussy sleeper is still on the way.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Courtesy of SNOO

 

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“Big Bang Theory” Actress Mayim Bialik: “I Feel Mom Guilt All the Time”

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or an Emmy-nominated actress, at one point or another, every mom has felt that aching feeling that can only be described as mom guilt. The Big Bang Theory star Mayim Bialik shared her own thoughts on dealing with mom guilt and we can all relate.

Bialik revealed her thoughts on balancing motherhood with a career in a recent interview with US Weekly. “I feel mom guilt all the time,” she said. “Especially with the societal emphasis on women being able to do it all. I would love to be able to do it all, but I can’t physically be in more than one place at once.”

The actress, who shares two sons Miles, 13, and Frederick, 10, with ex-husband Michael Stone, revealed that having a mom tribe to lean on is a big help in getting through the tough moments. “Talking to others moms who are in similar situations is really helpful,” she explained. “Sometimes it may just mean that you need to be hugged.”

Bialik also shared how she tries to make the time she spends with her kids more meaningful. “I’ve been making more and more of an effort to put my phone down, so that they can have concentrated time with me, and honestly that helps,” she said. “I’m not just saying it helps me cope, but it helps me feel more connected when I’m with them, so that when I’m not with them, I’m not feeling like I’m never present.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Mayim Bialik via Instagram

 

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The First Photo of Bode Miller’s Newborn Son Will Move You to Tears

by Erica Loop

U.S. Olympic skier Bode Miller welcomed a son with wife Morgan Beck over the weekend. According to the couple’s midwife, the water home birth was a magical moment for both of the proud parents, especially after tragedy struck their family this past summer.

In June, the couple lost their one-year-old daughter Emeline, called Emmy, in accidental drowning in their neighbor’s pool. Even though the Millers will never forget their daughter, the addition of their newest family member is a welcome joy after such a painful summer following Emmy’s death. Obviously baby boy Miller (the couple has not yet released their son’s name) can never take the place of his older sister—and his first photo is a powerful portrait of such an emotional moment in the Miller family.

Photo: Inside Edition via YouTube

In the months since this unthinkable tragedy, the couple has made a point of raising awareness of water safety and drowning. In July Morgan told TODAY, “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t pray for the opportunity to go back to that day and make it different, but now we have this opportunity to make other parents’ days different.”

The couples’ midwife, Lindsey Meehleis, shared pics of the home birth with TODAY, speaking candidly about the delivery. Baby boy Miller’s birthday is one month to the day before his older sister would have turned two. During her interview with TODAY, Meehleis shared, “An overwhelming feeling of joy started to fill a valley of deep grief and sadness.”

Meehleis added, “While nothing will ever replace the feeling of aching arms to hold Emmy again, this baby provided something new this day: joy, inspiration and hope.”

—Erica Loop

Featured Photo: Bode Miller via Instagram

 

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There’s the Rub: 5 Amazing Atlanta Prenatal Massages

by Phebe Wahl

Being pregnant is labor of love, especially if you’ve already got a mini-herd of miniatures racing around the place. Luckily, there’s no reason to play the Mommy Martyr. Go get yourself a good old-fashioned rub down at one of the following hot spots around town, and take a load off before D-day arrives.

The Pregnancy Massage Center
With five certified pregnancy massage therapists on staff, you can count on an incredible experience at the hands of someone who understands the physical strain of pregnancy, and even postpartum. As if the idea of someone rubbing your aching body wasn’t enough to make up your mind, consider this: The Pregnancy Massage Center’s nifty ergonomic cushions prop you up in a way that takes the pressure off your spine and surrounding muscles, and there is no pressure on your abdomen at all. The bottom line? These folks know what they’re doing.

Details: The Pregnancy Massage Center, 1164 N. Highland Avenue NE, Atlanta, GA 30306, 678-462-2173, Click here for pricing and scheduling information

Natural Body Spa
Another option that offers the services of certified pregnancy massage therapists, NBS has both male and female therapists on hand to address the aches and pains of pregnancy. During a massage, the mama-to-be will alternate positions from an incline wedge to being on her side, and ultimately gets to call the shots on what is comfortable versus what just doesn’t work. And since we all know that being pregnant represents losing major control over things, isn’t it appealing to get a little bit of that control back, even for an hour?

Details: Natural Body Spa, Multiple locations, Click here for appointments, $85 per 60 minutes, $125 per 90 minutes

Garden View Massage
Located in Decatur, this ensemble of talented massage therapists might be able to tell you what you’re going to be feeling throughout your pregnancy before you even experience it. Lower back pain? Loose ligaments that change your posture? Stress on you neck? Back? Carrying extra weight? Been there, done that. They know all about it. They’ll take care of you.

Details: Garden View Massage, 215 Church Street, Suite 108, Decatur, GA 30030, 404-377-2909, $75 per 60 minutes, $100 per 90 minutes, Packages available

The Spa at Mandarin Oriental Atlanta
Some days, Mama needs to live a little. If you’re up for a little splurge that doesn’t involve a trip to Baskin Robbins, head over to The Spa at Mandarin Oriental for either a 50 or 80 minute prenatal massage. As with all their spa treatments, you’ll be invited to hang out (or hide out, as the case may be) and enjoy the rest of the spa amenities while you’re there.

Details: The Spa at Mandarin Oriental Atlanta, 3376 Peachtree Rd. NE, Atlanta, GA 30326, 404-995-7500, $135 for 50 minutes, $185 for 80 minutes

The Ritz-Carlton, Reynolds Plantation
For the baby-mooners, or for the girls trip planners out there, pack your bags and head out of the city for an easy drive to Lake Oconee, where the Spa awaits. Did we mention they have a S’mores concierge every night? But we digress. The prenatal massage is performed by a certified prenatal therapist, and while you’re there, you should indulge in one of their signature Safe for Baby facials. You’ll return home feeling and looking human again.

Details: The Ritz-Carlton Lodge, Reynolds Plantation Resort and Spa, 1 Lake Oconee Trail, Greensboro, GA 30642, 706-467-0600, $145 per 50 minute massage, $215 per 80 minutes with body scrub massage, $145 per 50 minute facial, $215 per 80 minute facial

Do you have a secret spot for massages in Atlanta? Give up the goods below!

—Shelley Massey

Photos courtesy of valentinapowers on Flickr creative commons, Tips TimesAdmin on Flickr creative commons, and tommo4074 on Flickr creative commons

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