A doctor and specialist weigh in on this unique time of year

Are you having a hard time breathing or do you feel like your allergies are going haywire? Welcome to Asthma Peak Week.

In the U.S., the third week of September sees the highest concentration of asthma flare ups and hospitalizations all year. In fact 25% of all asthma-related stays for kids in a year happen during this seven-day period. According to Dr. Payel Gupta, a physician and asthma and allergy specialist, this unique time of year brings asthma issues for two reasons.

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“First, it’s peak ragweed season, which is not only a very common allergy but can trigger allergic asthma. Second is the Back-to-School timeframe. Kids are exposed to a lot of viruses and asthma triggers this time of year and are often bringing them home with them,” Gupta tells AMGEN.

Atlanta Allergy & Asthma identifies additional irritants, including inconsistent use of medication over the summer break and stress and anxiety from changes in schedules thanks to school. Knowing why this week takes more kids to the hospital for asthma is important, but it’s even more pertinent to prevent issues as much as possible, in addition to having a plan to handle them.

The Asthma & Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) recommends that everyone maintain a written Asthma Action Plan, that includes how to track asthma symptoms, how to know when symptoms are getting worse, what to do in an emergency, and other vital details.

Additionally, families should practice plenty of healthy hand-washing habits, regularly wash bedding in hot water to cut down on dust, dander and germs, limit exposure to pets and candles and stay up-to-date on vaccines. “You can get shots for the flu, COVID-19, and pneumococcal disease. All of these vaccines can help reduce chances of becoming seriously ill or going to the hospital because of these illnesses….This is one of the best ways to protect the people you care for who have asthma from getting sick,” advices the AAFA.

As a parent, you know your child best and what a serious asthma attack looks like. Andrea J., a Certified Asthma Educator, tells AMGEN, “Trust your gut. If you sense something is off, don’t be afraid to advocate for your own and your families’ specific needs, and continue to seek the advice of a doctor or an asthma specialist.”

If you are one of the millions of women who suffer from clinical anxiety, you may be wondering how best to navigate it during your pregnancy. Here are answers to some of the most common questions pregnant women with anxiety are curious about. As with any pregnancy advice you read, be sure to connect with your key care providers to help support you through your unique pregnancy journey.

1. Are many pregnant women bothered by anxiety? Anxiety is the most common psychiatric disorder, and women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with it. If you historically suffer from anxiety, you are likely to need strategies to deal with it and keep you and your baby happy and healthy during your pregnancy. Onset of new pathologic anxiety during pregnancy is not common, but communicate with your care provider if this is your experience so you can get additional support as needed. (Normal pregnancy-related anxiety is common, and doesn’t need any treatment.)

2. Does anxiety carry risks to my pregnancy? Anxiety and other stresses in pregnancy are associated with miscarriage, preterm delivery, and delivery complications. If you are suffering from anxiety and become pregnant, it’s important to work with your care provider to create an action plan so you can optimize your pregnancy outcomes.

3. What are some natural (drug-free) ways to deal with anxiety during pregnancy? Enlist the help of your partner in creating and maintaining a calm pregnancy environment. You can also try yoga, meditation, and walking. Be sure to talk to your obstetrician as well. If s/he doesn’t feel comfortable helping you with your anxiety, ask for a referral to a counselor

4. Is it safe to take anxiety medications while pregnant? Taking anxiety medications during pregnancy does carry some risks to your baby (depending on the medication), including cleft lip and “floppy baby syndrome” (i.e., hypothermia, lethargy, poor respiratory effort, and feeding problems). Your infant may also suffer from withdrawal from certain medications. Be sure to consult with your prescribing physician and understand all the risks before making your decision.

5. What if I’m on anxiety medication when I get pregnant? Work with your prescribing physician to slowly decrease dosage over a period of about three weeks until you can wean yourself off. While some anxiety medications can be taken during pregnancy, they all cause some risk to your baby, and it is best to go off the medications if possible.

In the end, the decision needs to be weighed from the perspective of where the greatest benefit will be compared to the greatest harm. If not taking your medication could result in self-harm, for example, your physician may recommend you continue taking it in spite of the potential risks to your pregnancy.

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

How to Start Making Life Happen for You

Something I’ve seen time and time again is this idea about life happening to you. Be patient. Success is coming. Sit still and listen. Wait your turn. You don’t have to do anything outside of being willing to accept success. Wait, wait, wait. 

I don’t just disagree with this mindset, I abhor it, and here’s why: I saw a quote recently and it said “Nobody cares about your excuses. Nobody pities you for procrastinating. Nobody is going to coddle you because you’re lazy. It’s your a$$, you move it.” Read that last part again, “It’s your a$$, you move it.” 

Now, I don’t feed into the COVID excuse. I really don’t. I think this is a time to be creative and learn how to adapt your business to a changing world. I also think it’s a time to preemptively strike on the things that will remain different until they become the same. After 9/11, the world changed. We changed how we walked through airports, our check-ins for building security became much more stringent and our overall awareness in public multiplied by the thousands. We don’t even remember what it was like before that. I don’t know the last time I was in Penn Station without a military presence. This is no different. While we will return to many things that feel normal, there will ultimately be things that never change back and, quite frankly, shouldn’t. I don’t need to share a meal with the table next to me at a restaurant. I like my space. My point is, this is a time for growth. It is not a time to make excuses.

So, how do we remain productive or even better, how do we become productive (maybe even for the first time) as our world shifts? How do we take ownership and responsibility for ourselves when the world is seemingly saying “Oprah wasn’t successful until she was in her 30’s. Wait.” Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Oprah worked her a$$ off before her wild success started. Michael Jordan may have cried after being cut from his high school basketball team, but it drove him to work harder. He practiced more. Steve Jobs was fired but didn’t wait for someone to hand him his next company. He put his big boy pants on and did the damn thing. Your life is not a meme. It cannot be summed up by the minimized paths to success that celebrities took. Let me be clear, I’m not saying we should just work, work, work. My advice is to use this changing time to figure out what feels right to you and create an action plan to make it happen. I cannot shout it louder, success will not just happen to you. You have to be an active and vigilant participant in your own life.

Because I hate when people offer advice without action, so here’s a checklist of things to do:

1. Always have a five-year plan. I don’t mean pie in the sky, I mean a logistically-driven, actionable plan. Edit that five-year plan once a year.

2. Set big goals. You can’t change your life without knowing what that looks like. Achievement comes in all different forms, true satisfaction comes from setting metrics and hitting them.

3. When you hit your goals, set more and set them bigger. Success was never driven by setting small goals. It doesn’t benefit us to goal ourselves on things we already know we can do.

4. Play on your strengths. Comfort zones can be a great thing. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I use both to my advantage by doing the things I’m good at and doing them really, really well. I also know it’s important to push past my comfort zone and turn some of those weaknesses into strengths.

5. Speaking of weaknesses, choose a few. We’re only human. It’s impossible to master everything, all the time. Take a look at your weaknesses and focus on turning around the ones that most closely tied to your version of success.

6. Lastly, get to know yourself. It’s really hard to understand what you want out of life if you don’t even understand who you are. Know what makes you tick, know what makes you happy, know what you want.

I’ll leave with you this: One of my favorite things to witness on the planet is other people’s success. I love hearing goals and then seeing people crush them. There is infinite room for success in our world and, if I can help someone achieve their success, I’m all in. Life is about partnering with the right people, at the right time. Life is about asking questions and asking for help when you need it. If you read this and feel like I’m someone who can help you, reach out. I’m open. Let’s murder the mindset of life happening to us and start making life happen.

Jess Ader-Ferretti HBIC at Shit Moms Won't Say
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jess Ader-Ferretti is the creator and host of the growingly popoular web series, Shit Moms Won't Say. Jess is a born and rasied New Yorker who lives with her wife, Katie and their daughter, Lillie. Tune into Shit Moms Won't Say every Monday at 8PM EST on YouTube. 

Your child comes home from school and runs straight to their room without so much as a “hello.” That night, they refuse to eat dinner, and when they wake up the next day, they beg you not to make them get on the bus. For many children, this is worrying behavior, as it may indicate that there’s an issue in the classroom. Sudden changes in your kid’s demeanor may suggest that they’re being bullied. If this is the case, it can seem like an impossible situation to deal with. But rest assured that there are several ways you can help your child.

1. Listen Without Judgement. Often, parents try to get to the bottom of this issue by asking their child what they did wrong. “Did you do something to upset them?” and “What were you doing when this happened?” are both questions that won’t get you anywhere. Try not to make assumptions as you figure out what’s going on. Bullies usually act the way they do for several personal reasons and it’s rarely something your kid incited. So, as your child tells you what’s happened, listen with an open mind. More than anything, they need acceptance and love. A head full of self-doubt will only make matters worse.

2. Keep Your Cool. Above all else, stay calm and collected. It’s natural to want to confront the bully and their family, but try to focus your energy on your child individually. They need all the love and support you can muster.

3. Emphasize Kindness. In this case, it’s essential to take the high road. This is an excellent opportunity to teach empathy. Your child’s bully likely has personal issues that contribute to the way they act. They’re a kid, too—whatever’s going on is often out of their control. Remember that we should always treat others the way we’d like to be treated. While this is an incredibly difficult situation, ask your child to turn their emotions into something beneficial. Do they know someone who sits alone during recess or lunch? Tell them to sit with them. Is this bully picking on a classmate as well? Have your child speak up on their behalf. After all, everyone needs a friend. This is something that will stick with them for the rest of their life.

4. Alert Their Teacher. Usually, bullies operate when authority figures aren’t around—on the bus, at recess or in the cafeteria. They typically won’t say or do anything of concern directly in the classroom. This means that your child’s teacher may not even be aware that this is happening. Similarly, some parents don’t want to bother or rope-in faculty members. Be sure to bring this matter to their attention and put your pride aside. Organize a meeting where you can sit down and discuss what’s going on. Above all else, educators want to keep their students safe. They can and will do so much on their end to remedy the situation.

5. Think of Solutions Together. Once this is brought to your attention, sit down with your child and brainstorm together. They’ll likely feel defeated, so take this time to empower them. Who can they sit with at lunch or play with at recess? They won’t need an army of friends to accomplish this, just one or two. Formulate an action plan in case the problem persists. What teachers are present at these times? Who can they confide in when something goes wrong? You may even want to teach them a few witty comebacks to help build up their self-esteem. Consider all the ways your child can take control.

6. Encourage Friendships. Studies show that the more parents do to advocate for their child’s friendships, the happier and more confident they are. Take the time to ask your kid about their friends. Organize activities or get-togethers, so they have a chance to hang out. If your child doesn’t connect with too many kids at their school, introduce extracurriculars into their schedules. When a child is being bullied, they often feel like they aren’t good enough for these kinds of relationships. If you take on more of a role in this aspect, your kid will start to love social interactions once more. Friends are crucial in so many ways, so be sure to encourage them.

7. Change Their Environment. Sometimes, the best way to tackle this problem is to switch your child’s environment. Consult with their teacher and principal and ask that they’re moved to a different classroom. This will separate them from their bully so they can thrive. Remember that schools only allow this in certain circumstances, so be sure to create an honest and open dialogue with faculty. If you suspect that your kid would perform better away from a physical school entirely, they can obtain a more individualized education from an online charter. Either way, change is helpful in this instance.

Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep.  She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

This is my first summer trying to balance working from home while maintaining the illusion of being a stay-at-home mom. It’s what I call being a working-stay-at-home mom.

During this past school year, when I started working from home, it was an adjustment figuring out how to maintain all my regular stay-at-home mom duties plus add in building a career. I had a full schedule as a stay-at-home mom. You don’t just plop a career on top of that without some adjustments being needed. But my child’s school schedule helped provide the guide for work hours versus home hours.

Summertime, though, is when my child and I spend tons of time together. I relish these moments because it won’t be long before hanging out with mom is no longer the thing to do. I know that change is coming any summer now, so I don’t want to miss this one. I want that stay-at-home do everything with mom kind of summer.

However, I’m not going to lie—it’s a challenge so far trying to balance this working-stay-at-home mom approach.

A part of me automatically goes into summertime stay-at-home-mom mode planning all the fun activities we can do together without the school schedule interfering—day trips to the zoo, the science museum, the local pool, finding local places we didn’t know existed.

Then, I realize I haven’t yet grabbed the list of summer activities at the local library. Wait, I haven’t even begun figuring out how to set aside time for our summer creative goals—start learning a new language, work together to code video games, read lots of books. Plus, this is the summer I’m really hoping to hook my child into learning to cook!

Our summer is already underway, and I’m just now planning. Usually, I’ve finished this part well before school ends. But this year was filled with work and the normal end of school year tasks and volunteering. That squeezed out time to plan for summer.

Then the reality of my schedule sets in. If I’m off doing all the things we usually do, when am I going to work?

I’m getting older. Staying up all hours is not happening. Plus, my child is an early riser—a very early riser. There is no “getting up before your child” situation happening here. I might as well pull an all-nighter at that point.

How do I do this? How do I recreate the same laid-back, fun-filled, mom and child togetherness of the past nine work-free summers while working from home?

I don’t.

What I need is an action plan to create a new kind of summer that balances fun times with my child while still getting work done.

Here are my strategies for getting it all done.

1. Establish Priorities

Take some time to think about what you want this summer to look like. Ask yourself: what do you love most about summer? What experiences do you treasure having with your child and your family? Your answers are uniquely yours. It can be having a picnic in the middle of the day or enjoying a late night staring at the stars with your family. Maybe it’s not summer unless you go to the pool every afternoon or make homemade ice cream while trying to come up with the wackiest flavor combinations.

Make a list of all the must-do summer activities. If your children are old enough, get them involved too! If your list is long, make sure to organize it from most important to least, so the main ones get done.

Post this list in a visible area of your house where everyone can see it. As you set your weekly schedule, be sure to plan these activities throughout the summer.

2. Be Realistic with Your Schedule

When I want to do it all, I have a tendency to overestimate what I can get done. I’m not talking about stretch goals. I’m meaning I set a to-do list that a whole group of superheroes couldn’t accomplish. The downside to setting up an unrealistic to-do list is that I spend my days thinking about how much I didn’t get done, instead of seeing what I did accomplish. This impacts my mood and makes it harder for me to be carefree with my child. Instead of enjoying the moment, I keep thinking about all I still have to do and worrying about how I’m going to get caught up.

So set your schedule smartly.

If possible, chunk your day, so you have blocks of time to devote to work and to your family. Be flexible and keep in mind that each day may look a little different depending on the needs of your work and your family. Your schedule and how you plan your time is uniquely yours. There is no right or wrong.

3. Get Others Involved

I’m fortunate that my child is old enough to understand that I need to balance more tasks this summer than in the past. I spoke with my child honestly about my schedule and that I’ll need to work while he’s at home, unlike during the school year. I also made it clear that I was setting aside time for us to do things together too. If you have work-from-home friends, you can see about alternating get-togethers where they have the kids on one day, and then you watch the kids on another day.

If you are able, you can hire a college student on summer break to help out with your children while you work at home.

Take a close look at your household’s daily routine and talk with your partner. Maybe there is an hour or two that you can work at the end of the day when your partner is home and can watch the children.

Be creative, be flexible, and don’t be afraid to talk to others about finding ways to help you fit in some extra time to work.

I’ve had to realize that this summer will be different from past summers when I wasn’t working.

That’s okay.

I might not fit in everything we usually would do. There will be times where my child will have to do things without me.

That’s okay.

This will still be a fun, carefree summer spent together with my child, doing what he loves. This is what summer means to me.

 

Shannon Whyte is a freelance writer for hire who offers blogging, ghost writing, and proofreading services. She uses her experience as a psychologist to create engaging content for readers. When she’s not writing, her child's teaching her to code video games, and she's trying to keep her senior dog from stealing socks.

The One Goal I Set That Changed My Entire Life

Photo: Pixabay

My name is Natasha Nurse and the goal that changed my life was choosing to be happy. This seems like an obvious goal that everyone should have, but sadly, it is not the case. So many people are unhappy in the United States (especially in New York).

It was December 2015, and I was told I was losing my job. When this happens to most people, the first thing they want to do is panic. For me, I saw an opportunity to live my life in a whole new way. I decided to live by the following six principles:

  1. Commit to my life motto: meet someone new and learn something new every day

  2. Be happy every single day

  3. Be daring and fearless, no matter what

  4. Accept there is no such thing as failure — only teachable lessons

  5. Live without regret (life is too short to live with regrets)

  6. Accept there is no such thing as no — only maybe not now or maybe with someone else

These principles helped keep me sane, focused and happy as I began my journey as an entrepreneur. This was the journey that not only gave me immense joy, but has led to opportunities in modeling, media, podcasting, radio broadcasting and journalism that I couldn’t have even imagined for myself.

The goal of being happy turned out to be the most important goal that I could have ever set for myself. Now, since living this way, I couldn’t imagine living any other way.

Now that you know my one goal that changed my life, I think it is important to focus on the practical steps I took to apply and stay committed to this goal. Here are my seven steps to success.

1. Get clear on your intention.

My one goal was happiness, because I was a person who focused on accomplishing many things in my life (starting at a very young age) but no one told me that I needed to make sure I was happy. Happiness was like an afterthought or completely irrelevant. I was groomed to be productive and accomplished. However, I soon realized accomplishments without a sense of happiness or joy was completely pointless, so I needed to make a change. I knew that if I shifted how I defined what success meant, then my entire life would change.

2. Create an action plan.

Goals are great. But if there isn’t an action plan in place, how likely are you to achieve that goal? Zero to None. For me to be happy, I needed to be very clear on identifying what made me happy. Luckily, I am fairly low maintenance, so the things on my happiness list include:

  • Reading everyday

  • Napping (when I really need it)

  • Dancing

  • Singing

  • Shopping (mostly on Vudu or Amazon)

  • Prioritizing my needs

  • Being creative (i.e. drawing, coloring, sketching, painting)

  • Creating and developing ideas with the hubby

  • Relaxing with the pets

  • Watching movies and television shows (no matter how many times I have watched them)

  • Working on my business (i.e. coaching, consulting, speaking at events, creating online content, etc.)

What was my action plan for happiness? It was simple. If I do at least one activity on this happiness list a day, then I was successful for the day. If I accomplish more than one activity, then I am a super star.

3. Eliminate distractors or deterrence.

Eliminating naysayers, haters and toxic people was a huge step for me to take to succeed. Why? Those individuals are drowning in their own misery so much, they can’t help but attempt to bring you down as well. For me, cutting these people out of my life was the only way  to have the freedom of time and mental capacity to focus on me, my business, and what I want to accomplish in this world. If you are determined to accomplish your goal, you will find yourself in the same boat (hint: this will be hard at first, but you will thank yourself repeatedly).

4. Hold yourself accountable.

When achieving a new goal, do you think it is important to have benchmarks along the way? Well, it is. In order to achieve a goal, you have to have tasks and steps along the way. You should attach deadlines to these to ensure your goal gets accomplished. As an overachiever, my goal is really a lifetime goal, so I needed to create a plan that required me to be accountable each day (aka Happiness Checklist). If you are working towards accomplishing a goal, how will you hold yourself accountable?

5. Be kind to yourself.

We can be our number one advocate or our very worst enemy. When we stumble or sometimes fall flat on our faces, it might seem natural to get down on ourselves. But I am here to tell you to stop it! This is neither helpful nor necessary for accomplishing your goal. Sometimes you are not going to hit the ball out of the park. Sometimes you will strike out. That is not only okay, it is a good thing. Stumbling or “failures” are a teachable moment where you can learn. Life is all about learning more about yourself and the world you live in.

If there are days where I don’t get to check something off my happiness list, I don’t tell myself that I failed. Instead, I accept that I didn’t take care of myself for the day. I identify what stood in the way of prioritizing my happiness, then make an action plan so that the next day I am back on target. Most of all, I am kind and understanding to myself. That is the only way to make sure I can start the next day with the best mindset and attitude possible.

6. Acknowledge every victory.

No victory is too small or too large to celebrate. By celebrating every victory, you are giving yourself motivation and confidence to keep pushing towards your goal. You can’t expect anyone to do this for you. Your goal will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you. So, smile and appreciate every victory along the way.

7. Document the process.

If you document your process (the good, the bad, and everything in between), then the following will happen:

  • You will have a record of the journey to look back and reflect on

  • You will see just how much blood, sweat, and tears went into achieving your goal

  • You will inspire others to pursue their dreams and to share their journey as well

  • You will publicly hold yourself accountable for what you are looking to achieve

It might not be easy to document the journey. When you achieve your goal however, you will be happy you took the time to document how you made your dream a reality!

—Natasha Nurse, for Fairygodboss
This post originally appeared on Fairygodboss.
Fairygodboss Georgene Huang & Romy Newman, Founders
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

As the largest career community for women, Fairygodboss provides millions of women with career connections, community advice and the hard-to-find intel about how companies treat women.

It’s your job to provide meals and snacks and your kid’s job to eat them. Sometimes you need help with the in-between, especially for school lunch—when you aren’t there to ensure your little learner fuels up for the afternoon. When it’s hard to get choosy clientele to love their lunch, read on for six ways to spice things up.

photo: Yoshiyasu Nishikawa via Flickr

1. Involve them in the process. Ever consider how it feels to have every. single. meal. presented to you (I know, that actually sounds amazing.)? But your little may have a big appetite for autonomy. This can be as simple as cutting up melon or mixing dough (good fine motor practice and sensory play for preschoolers, BTW) or as unique as subscribing to a monthly cooking kit, like Baby Boy Bakery’s We Cook kits. We love that the inspiration is to create childhood memories while benefiting kids’ charities. Your sous chefs will take pride in what they eat if they’re involved from the get-go.

2. Get to know the lunch staff. Part of appreciating what’s on our plate is appreciating those who help prepare and serve it. If your kids have a school lunch account, encourage them to talk to their lunch ladies and gents. They can ask questions about the local fresh option their school may have or if a garden project is in the works (or maybe help start one!).

photo: U.S. Department of Agriculture via Flickr

3. Add a little perspective to the recipe. So your kid turns down your homemade minestrone for another bowl of goldfish? If only she knew how lucky she was to have fresh, healthy ingredients, right? Well, it may be a good time for grade schoolers to start volunteering. Feeding America’s Hungry to Help Project fills in the summer gap for families who rely on school lunches and serves up a Family Action Plan to help end hunger.

4. Serve age-appropriate portions. It can be daunting to finish everything on your plate (or to be asked if you did at school). And added pressure usually backfires anyway. If it’s extra hard to get your child to chow down at school, set him up for success with smaller portions. Include an after-school snack if hunger strikes later. Check out these recommended portions for each age range from HealthyChildren.org.

photo: Tonya Staab via Flickr

5. Add a surprise. Whether it’s a cookie-cut puzzle sandwich or a little note slipped in the lunchbox (here are 12 sweet ideas for the midday meal), the element of surprise reminds them they may be out of sight but never out of mind—or heart. That little extra prep may reap big lunchtime returns.

6. Practice food positivity at home. The way we talk about food with (and around) our kids makes a big impression. Each family may have its cultures, allergies, and preferences to contend with—at home and at school. Helping our kids understand how food energizes our bodies so we can keep learning, playing, and feeling good, helps them take that respect back to the lunch table, too.

What are your ideas for getting kids to love their lunch? Share with us in the Comments below!

—Jennifer Massoni Pardini