Looking for a little variety in the routine that the kids will actually still eat? Try these twists on an old favorite
If you’ve got a picky eater, there’s one thing you can almost guarantee they’ll eat—a PB&J. It might not be the most exciting combo in the world, but the good news is, there are a bunch of inventive recipes with peanut butter and jelly out there to help you kick it up a notch. To keep things fresh, we’ve found 15 ways to enjoy this classic treat for breakfast, snacks, and dessert.
What we love about this breakfast idea is that you can absolutely use frozen waffles. Top them with peanut butter, honey, banana, raisins, or jelly.
Peanut Butter and Jelly Swirl Bread
As much as we'd like to have a sit-down breakfast every morning, sometimes we just have to grub on the go. That's where this tasty breakfast bread from Cook Nourish Bliss comes in super handy—no messy knives and no sticky fingers, just a hearty slice of heaven to start your day. A word of warning: do NOT try and toast this bread, it will make quite a mess!
Using pancakes instead of bread? Why not? Before you go thinking you're spoiling your little jelly monsters, take a look at this recipe from Weelicious—it's healthy! We're pretty sure you won't hear many complaints, as your kids will be too busy snacking on their new favorite way to eat PB&Js.
These energy bites could work as a quick breakfast or an on-the-go snack. Full of protein and flavor, they take 15 minutes to make. Get the recipe from Favorite Family Recipes.
Our kids are already big fans of the cheesy variety, so we're pretty confident that they'll be beside themselves when they hear you're making them Nicole's special PB&J pizza for snack. They'll be even more excited when you let them pick a topping or two—banana slices for pepperoni, coconut flakes for shredded cheese, get creative! Major style points if you can pipe the jelly out onto the pizza like this.
How do you make a sandwich even more finger food-y? Roll it up and cut it into sushi rolls. These would be great for feeding a bunch of little rugrats, as they could just pop a few of these in their mouths. We love Brit + Co.‘s idea of topping them with fresh fruit to compliment the flavors of the jelly.
Peanut Butter Quesadillas with Jelly Dipping Sauce
This PB&J from Home Cooking Memories goes south of the border. Reducing the jelly down to a sauce makes a sweet, syrupy mixture that is great for dunking. Another great snack choice for multiple hungry mouths, whip up a few of these and lay them out for an afternoon snack.
Sounds good, looks good, tastes great. This Chocolate-Covered Katie recipe uses a mixture of milk and vanilla extract instead of ice cream, so it's at least a little healthier for you. Adding in frozen berries for jelly also makes this shake extra smooth without the extra guilt. Best enjoyed with a crazy straw.
Dark Chocolate Dreams Sandwich
Peanut Butter & Co.
After this treat, you may never want to sink your teeth into plain ole PB&J again! Peanut Butter & Co.'s Dark Chocolately Dreams spread, preserves and coconut is all it takes to make the sandwich of your dreams a reality.
Sweet and savory is a classic flavor combo, and no two things bring together these tastes like peanut butter and jelly. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that Jessica of How Sweet It Is thought to create a PB&J-inspired dessert. Using whole wheat flour makes this cake a little more healthy, so you don't have to feel guilty about eating it for dessert...and next morning's breakfast.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a PB&J pop? We're not sure, but we know of a few little ones who wouldn't mind being our guinea pigs for this little experiment. Thanks to Catherine of Weelicious for another great PB&J recipe.
We love bite-sized desserts almost as much as our kids do. Plus, desserts always seem that much more adorable when they're just pop-able enough to warrant eating at least two or three. Jamie of My Baking Addiction makes these cupcakes with white cake in lieu of white bread, and have a hollowed-out center filled with sweet jelly, then topped with peanut butter frosting. Simply decadent.
Your life is blossoming. You’re on the edge of adulthood. The future is full of such possibilities. It really is such an exciting time.
Me now? I’ll be 34 soon. (Gulp. I started applying more face creams than I ever knew existed).
But, what I’ve noticed over the past few years is that this is a hard season for my friends and childhood acquaintances. As we’ve aged there is more and more bad life stuff. Deaths, divorces, sick children, heart-breaking infertility—the really deep hard stuff.
My “let me check on you” list has never been longer. Which really made me start thinking about life. And, what is actually important. And, what I wish I knew before.
So, here is my shortlist of things I wish I knew at 17.
1. Go out to eat for breakfast or lunch or dinner with your parent(s) and grandparents. When they ask you to do things that annoy you (AKA spend time with them) do it. Life is fast and unkind. Time goes way too fast and we lose people way too soon.
2. Enjoy your youth. Really enjoy it. Enjoy being able to move without pain. To wake up without needing makeup and an anti-inflammatory. To have minimal real-world worries. You have the rest of your life to worry and adult—enjoy your youth.
3. Find friends. Real friends. At some point in your life (the sooner the better) take the time to find real friends. And, hold on to them tight. You’re going to need each other. More than you will ever know. There will be marriages, divorces, deaths, infertility, miscarriages, terminally ill children, and everyday hard daily life. You are going to need friends for the celebrations and for the grieving. Trust me. You won’t make it without them.
4. Be a good woman. The world needs more of them. Don’t mess with someone else’s man. Trust me—most of the time (in this situation) it’s the man who is the issue. Real men, the kind of man you want, won’t cheat. Not on you and not on the one before you (with you).
5. Get an education or career. Be self-sufficient. Gone are the days whereas a whole woman can count on men to support them and their families. Does it happen? Surely. But, always know you can fall back on yourself.
6. Know that you have more to offer the world than your external looks. The world will judge you by every part of your body every chance it gets. Know inside that you are worth more. Even if you’re beautiful—you are worth more.
7. If you decide to take the educated path know that the more successful you are—the more people will be intimidated by you. It’s something in our DNA. Especially true for men and dating. Men are programmed to be the breadwinners and protectors. Our society is no longer set up for that old world system. But, the judgment still happens. Don’t base your worth on this.
8. Know that you can’t fix or change anyone but you. You can’t. Don’t even try. But, you can fix and change yourself. And, you should—every chance you get.
9. You can’t love away addiction. You can’t love away mental illness. You can’t love away the broken parts of people. You can love people and support them in them wanting to get better, but you alone, cannot love anything away in someone else.
10. When someone shows you who they are. Believe them. The first time. That’s the universe’s way of warning you. Listen to the whispers.
Know that life is beautiful and tragic. If you don’t know rain, if you don’t live in the rain, the sunshine isn’t as bright.
JACQUELINE WAXMAN, M.Ed living in New Jersey with her kids. I’m a social worker by profession and Mom by choice. I chauffeur children to their preferred destinations, feed-bathe-and-clothe my little people when we are not playing outside. Passions include writing, photography and advocacy.
When I was 12 years old, I was assaulted—and I had no idea how to deal with the storm of emotions brewing inside of me.
No one in my family knew how to help or respond. They stayed quiet while I suffered in silence. My parents, both of whom had been abused as children, were never given any tools to help them heal.
With a family history of addiction, it was no surprise that I turned to drugs and alcohol to quell my pain. When children are traumatized and hurting, they tend to act out. They often lack the verbiage to explain what is happening inside. Drugs helped me numb out and forget the pain. But in reality, all they did was prolong the pain—and add to it.
I am often asked and wonder, would it have been different for me if a trauma-informed person had been in my life at that time? Could they have kept me from the 10 years of horror I experienced? I think so. Had someone spoke to me in a way that eliminated shame and did not make me feel guilty and scared, I may have sought help sooner.
A “trauma-informed” approach is one that aims to understand behavior—not label it, blame someone, or accidentally shame them. Telling people that it’s OK to not feel OK, sharing with them that they are not alone, and telling them that you believe them are all powerful ways to offer a young person a safe space to navigate confusion around trauma.
Thankfully, today, we live in a society that has cracked open important conversations around abuse and assault. Victims of sexual violence need not suffer in silence as I once did. That doesn’t mean that conversations about these topics are easy. They are hard—especially when you become a parent, but I’ve already started these discussions with my 5-year-old son.
Our children cannot do better until they are taught better—and neither can we as parents.
Here are tips to have age-appropriate conversations with children about their bodies, consent, emotional regulation, and coping.
Engage at the Right Times
After being raped, I remember it felt like my brain was able to lock those memories away. They only came out in fits and spurs, in flashbacks and nightmares. I could not access feelings and place them next to the events that happened to me. Children are resilient and their brains have an incredible way of protecting them, this can make intervention a challenge.
When asking more probative questions, engage children when they’re playing or during physical activity. A child’s brain development is different and direct questioning does not always work, especially if you’re trying to get them to open up about something fear-inducing or traumatizing.
If a child’s brain is already engaged with coloring or shooting hoops, it can be easier for them to talk about topics that are emotionally overwhelming. Ask questions, let them know you love them, that you are willing to listen, and will never judge or shame them for anything they share.
Normalize Talking about Hard Things
Pepper in prevention education throughout your conversations so your child knows the right terminology for their body, and they understand who is allowed to touch them and who is not. Do this while changing diapers, during potty training, and at the doctor’s office as they grow up. Just make quick, matter-of-fact statements since they might not tolerate or entertain a long conversation.
In our home, we teach our son a song and dance where we sign, “stop” and say, “Don’t touch me there.” We put a handout in a stop sign. “This is my no-no square,” we say, and “draw” a square around their lower body. Then we discuss how his body is his and no one is allowed to touch him without his permission. We tell him that only a doctor or parent should touch his genitals and even then, that is only for a quick cleaning or examination and there should always be another trusting adult in the room.
Provide Resources
One of the hardest jobs as a parent is knowing that often, we are not the ones our children will turn to when they need to talk or want to ask questions. In normalizing the conversations around engaging tough topics be sure to give them plenty of resources and acknowledge that you know it may feel odd for them to speak to you about whatever they need help with. Tell them that this is OK and give them some alternate names, places, and entities who they can speak to, including trusted friends, family, or hotlines.
Teach Healthy Coping Strategies
If we can build resiliency in our children and teach them to feel feelings while normalizing trauma in a way that gives them space to talk, feel, heal, and deal, they are less likely to reach for negative coping mechanisms. Negative coping comes from a lack of effective coping strategies.
We encourage our son to use his words and give him permission to be mad or sad by being there for him when he cries. We also teach him to use tools such as mediation, deep breathing, and walking away when he is overwhelmed. We normalize common emotions by making him feel supported instead of isolated and we teach him how to process emotions in a way that makes him feel better.
By giving children healthy coping tools, you are building a foundation for them when they have hard feelings. You are giving them ways to process emotions without them wanting to escape.
Offer Support through the Ups and Downs
These strategies, while well-intended, may not always work. Children and young people may still turn to drugs, alcohol, or other negative coping mechanisms. If they do, let them know that you are there for them, that you support them, and stress the resources that are available to them.
This way, your child will grow up with options—and options are huge when dealing with trauma and addiction.
Survivor. Author. Advocate. Victim’s Rights Expert. After a childhood rape turned her life upside down, Storm turned to drug and alcohol to cope with the trauma. This ten-year battle with addiction culminated in a brutal suicide attempt which she survived. She has over 20 years experience in victim’s rights.
Recently my friend sent me this great article, “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Screen, by Linda Wilbrecht, PhD.” It helps frame some of the positive ways that screen time can support teens during the pandemic. When I received the article, I had already been reflecting on how much screen time my two teenage sons have had since the lockdown in March. Since the boys were young, we have always limited their screen time out of the fear of the negative side effects like screen addiction, social isolation, increased anxiety and depression and lack of in-person communication skills.
This past summer, without their regular summer activities, the boys were on the screens a whole lot more, and I know it was the same for most kids. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t all bad and that even in my own home there are some really positive ways screen time is helping my kids through this crisis. So much of what my kids were choosing to do was actually helping foster many of the things that I had feared in the first place!
Instead of becoming addicted, they are actually finding their own screen balance, increasing social connection, sharpening their communication skills, and learning new things. One of their friends developed a server for Minecraft, the “world-building game.” Together, they go on adventures and build new worlds including a “Capture the Flag” arena where they actually play “Capture the Flag.” This past weekend, six kids got together to fight the Enderdragon and “win” the game. While they play, they talk and chat through Discord, a communication platform. But the great thing is that they organized this all themselves! From the other room, I hear them working together, being creative, working out conflict and collaborating in ways that they just can’t do right now in person.
Both of my kids are exploring their interests and developing new skills using their screens. One is learning to draw his favorite anime characters while the other is teaching himself to repair and maintain his bicycle. They are also spending time diving mindlessly into the black hole of YouTube videos and there seems to be a place for that too.
We have had conversations about different types of screen time because as Linda Wilbrecht writes in the article, “It may not be the amount of screen time that is important, but what we are doing with our screens.” She makes a good point and with this in mind it became my goal to help them to distinguish between active, productive screen time where they are building skills and passive screen time which is purely for entertainment. Encouraging them to balance active and passive screen activities made the difference between feeling good about their increased screen use and my worry that they are online too much.
My boys still don’t have free reign of their screen time. We talk about it daily, how much, what kind, and how it makes them feel. All screens are off by 9:30 p.m. We make time to connect as a family each evening. We make sure that they are getting enough exercise and sleep. So while I still can’t say that I love the screen, it isn’t scaring me as much as it used to. I am more at peace because I see its value for my sons during this time that they are cut off from their friends. I appreciate their giving me a new perspective, especially during these challenging times.
I'm Jenny Michaelson, Ph.D., PCI Certified Parent Coach®. I live in Oakland, California with my family. I love supporting parents through my practice, True North Parent Coaching. Together we uncover strengths and develop strategies to make transformational changes to overcome parenting challenges and bring more joy, ease and fun back to parenting.
Chances are you’ve told your kids to put down their phones or turn off the video games. Kids growing up now have heard it all from well meaning parents looking to limit tech usage. New research from the University of Colorado Boulder suggests such restrictions have little effect on technology use later in life, and that fears of widespread and long-lasting “tech addiction” may be overblown.
“Are lots of people getting addicted to tech as teenagers and staying addicted as young adults? The answer from our research is ‘no’,” said lead author Stefanie Mollborn, a professor of sociology at the Institute of Behavioral Science. “We found that there is only a weak relationship between early technology use and later technology use, and what we do as parents matters less than most of us believe it will.”
The study, which analyzes a survey of nearly 1,200 young adults plus extensive interviews with another 56, is the first to use such data to examine how digital technology use evolves from childhood to adulthood.
The data were gathered prior to the pandemic, which has resulted in dramatic increases in the use of technology as millions of students have been forced to attend school and socialize online. But the authors say the findings should come as some comfort to parents worried about all that extra screen time.
“This research addresses the moral panic about technology that we so often see,” said Joshua Goode, a doctoral student in sociology and co-author of the paper. “Many of those fears were anecdotal, but now that we have some data, they aren’t bearing out.”
Published in Advances in Life Course Research, the paper is part of a 4-year National Science Foundation-funded project aimed at exploring how the mobile internet age truly is shaping America’s youth.
Since 1997, time spent with digital technology has risen 32% among 2- to 5-year-olds and 23% among 6- to 11-year-olds, the team’s previous papers found. Even before the pandemic, adolescents spent 33 hours per week using digital technology outside of school.
For the latest study, the research team shed light on young adults ages 18 to 30, interviewing dozens of people about their current technology use, their tech use as teens and how their parents or guardians restricted or encouraged it. The researchers also analyzed survey data from a nationally representative sample of nearly 1,200 participants, following the same people from adolescence to young adulthood.
Surprisingly, parenting practices like setting time limits or prohibiting kids from watching shows during mealtimes had no effect on how much the study subjects used technology as young adults, researchers found. Those study subjects who grew up with fewer devices in the home or spent less time using technology as kids tended to spend slightly less time with tech in young adulthood, but statistically, the relationship was weak.
“They feel like they are using tech a lot because they have to, they have it under control and they see a future when they can use less of it,” said Mollborn.
In many ways, Goode notes, teens today are just swapping one form of tech for another, streaming YouTube instead watching TV, or texting instead of talking on the phone.
That is not to say that no one ever gets addicted, or that parents should never instill limits or talk to their kids about its pros and cons, Mollborn stresses. “What these data suggest is that the majority of American teens are not becoming irrevocably addicted to technology. It is a message of hope.”
She recently launched a new study, interviewing teens and parents in the age of COVID-19. Interestingly, she said, parents seem less worried about their kids’ tech use during the pandemic than they were in the past. “They realize that kids need social interaction and the only way to get that right now is through screens. Many of them are saying, ‘Where would we be right now without technology?'”
I look at the clock. It’s 5:21 in the morning and my son is standing next to me in the dark, looking like a tiny Dementor, telling me he’s hungry. I look to my left and my wife isn’t there. She’s in my daughter’s room sleeping on the floor again. ‘Just 5 more minutes’ I think to myself, but I know that isn’t happening.
“Alright buddy…let’s get you something to eat.” To be a parent means having a healthy addiction to coffee’ I think.
I’m a stay-at-home Dad (SAHD) and a full-time coffee addict. I cook. I clean. I do laundry. I teach my children how to say “please” and “thank-you” and what it means to be kind and how to treat others. I know all the local playgrounds and the free museum days. I do playdates, naps, bath time, and bedtime. When my wife gets home from work we can enjoy family time without having to worry about a constantly expanding list of things to do. I’m a SAHD, not simply someone who is giving Mom a break or someone who is “babysitting” their children.
But this isn’t how others see me at times. At the park, I’m seen as a Dad who is giving Mom a break. Taking the kids out of the house so that Mom can have a (much needed) break from parenting. At Target I’m the Dad who is getting the shopping done so that Mom doesn’t have to. I have other examples, but you get the idea. And this is my reality; being viewed as simply helping Mom with the endless number of tasks related to running a household; groceries, laundry, cooking, cleaning, bedtime, etc.
And I get it. My role isn’t traditional and Moms are still seen as the primary caregivers and household managers. But it’s a brave new world and “the times they are a-changin’.”
I am a SAHD by choice and taking care of my children and the house is what works for my family and increasingly others (I am one of two SAHDs on my block). I’m not resentful of how others may see me or how my ability to care for children is constantly questioned. Even the occasional “aww…you’re taking care of your children?” response doesn’t really bother me anymore. Well, sometimes it does, but I try to set a good example for my children so when this happens I simply flip the other parent the bird when no one is looking (just kidding).
When I completed my undergraduate and MBA degrees, being a SAHD wasn’t even on my radar. But life has a way of slapping you in the face more frequently than a toddler sneezing directly into your open mouth. And that slap came in the form of two unhappy parents who knew something had to change if they were to cultivate a house full of love and laughter. And so I became a stay-at-home Dad as it best fit our family’s needs. It wasn’t an easy decision, but for us, it was the right one.
Now, several months on, I’m mighty proud of this identity. I love being a SAHD as not many parents get the opportunity to spend so much time with their children, even if they don’t listen for the millionth time. I love caring for my children when they scrape their knee, when they need a cuddle or when a monster is under their bed. They are only little once and I want to soak in every minute (just maybe not at 5:21 in the morning). I know my title may not be the norm and that Moms deserve every bit of praise and respect, but please don’t forget about Dad.
Balding, gray-haired 30-something stay-at-home-Dad living in the Lincoln Square area of Chicago. Enjoys coffee, a cold pint and Bear Grylls while musing about parenthood and life.
“Mom, I’m bored.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase, I’d be sipping umbrella drinks in Tahiti.
However, I no longer reply to such complaints with much more than a raised eyebrow. My kids know that it isn’t my job to provide them with endless entertainment options. Here’s why I let my kids be bored—and why you should consider it, too.
1. It Isn’t Deadly. While it sounds harsh to say, places like prisons, refugee camps, and some office complexes are full to the brim with folks who have nothing entertaining to do. While many of them complain about their plights, my coroner friend has yet to write, “bored to death” on a certificate.
Our technology addiction has made us intolerant of boredom. Fully 52% of smartphone users check-in hourly or more. While some do so due to fear of missing out (FOMO), many do it to distract themselves from boredom. Unfortunately, this addiction makes people helpless when Wi-Fi disappears. Believe it or not, only a few short decades ago, the palm of your hand didn’t come equipped with a boredom-busting gadget. Letting my kids entertain themselves minus a screen is a vital skill I want to encourage.
2. It Builds Decision-Making Skills. When you think about it, your kids probably spend at least 90% of their time following orders. While this practice instills discipline, it leaves them rather helpless when it comes to making choices. Letting my kids be bored forces them to select how to fill their time. Allowing children to exercise their independence builds decision-making skills, which they will need to do in their future careers.
3. It Inspires Creativity. Remember the old TV show, “MacGuyver?” That guy could get out of any predicament with a paperclip, a rubber band, and some elbow grease. Talk about creativity! When your children have to use their imagination to fill empty time, it inspires their creativity. They won’t be bored if they’re rehearsing a puppet show they intend to perform after dinner.
4. It Makes Them More Appreciative. I’ll admit it—my oldest has a smartphone and probably uses it with more expertise than I do. However, I don’t let her stay glued 24/7. Besides what the blue light does to her circadian rhythms, I don’t want her relying on internet games to beat boredom. Therefore, I limit her screen time. An unexpected side effect is that she now looks forward to when she can use her phone. If she had access whenever she liked, she would whine about boredom while taking her device for granted.
5. It Keeps My House (Somewhat) Cleaner. I long ago accepted that life with kids meant dealing with some degree of messiness nearly always. However, my kids occasionally clean up their rooms when they’re bored. My little ones benefit from honing their organizational skills while I find myself harping on them less. I haven’t quite gotten them to the point where they spontaneously mop the kitchen floor, but I’ll be sure to brag if they do.
6. It Encourages Mindfulness. I secretly think that one reason mindfulness continues to rise in popularity is that adults are so busy, we often lack time to slow down and think. Letting my kids be bored introduces them to the practice without saying a word. There’s nothing wrong with lying on the back porch and looking up at the clouds, inventing shapes in each one. Doing so centers my kiddos in the present moment, if only for a short while.
7. It Shows Them Life Exists Beyond the Screen. With homeschooling now in vogue everywhere, I sometimes worry that my children won’t know life beyond the computer screen. My work-from-home example probably doesn’t help. Letting my kids be bored by denying them screen time when they complain forces them to find alternatives. If the weather proves pleasant, they might head outside for hide-and-seek. If it’s raining, they can send a handwritten note to their grandparents or color.
8. It Keeps Them Moving. Nearly 20% of American children qualify as obese, and many do not shed weight as adults. These excess pounds contribute to chronic health conditions. Letting my kids be bored often forces them into physical activity. They might head out to play tag or set up a round of 2-liter bottle bowling in the kitchen—anything that gets them off the couch counts.
9. It Makes Them Eat (a Little) Healthier. One thing that adults and kids alike share in common is that they like a snack. Having a bit of extra time to kill gives them an incentive to make it healthy. I involve my children in weekly food prep, and we portion out individual serving sizes of carrot sticks and celery. My oldest can prepare simple microwave meals, such as oatmeal, and add fruit for extra phytonutrients.
The nine reasons above explain some of the benefits of letting my children fill their free time. While they still sometimes complain that they’re bored, I let them be—and maybe you should consider doing the same.
Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep. She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.
“It’s rather strange to be a “famous” parent and have your family profiled on the cover of magazines. I certainly don’t claim all the credit for their successes, but all three have turned out to be accomplished, caring, and capable people.
My daughter Susan is the CEO of YouTube, Janet is a professor of pediatrics, and Anne is the co-founder and CEO of 23andMe. They rose to the top of ultra-competitive, male-dominated professions.
Parents constantly ask me for advice. Through my decades of experience as a mother, grandmother, and educator, I’ve identified several fundamental values that help our kids achieve success.
One of these values is kindness, and it’s one that some parents fail to teach their kids.
Teach Your Kids to Care
I grew up believing it was my duty to contribute and make our community better. I still feel that way. If everyone just sits around and talks, nothing gets done. I was always a doer.
All of this influenced my daughters, not because I lectured to them about the importance of serving the community—but because I truly cared.
I tried to show them through my actions what they could achieve. I didn’t realize at the time the profound impact it has on children’s well-being, which has been confirmed by a number of interesting studies.
The Importance of Community
Teenagers who volunteer with younger children experience both decreased negative moods and cardiovascular risk, according to a 2013 study. Another study, from 2016, found that teenagers who performed volunteer work were significantly less likely to engage in illegal behaviors and also had fewer convictions and arrests between the ages of 24 and 34.
But how many of us think about this when it comes to parenting? How many of us take up causes and show our kids, through our own behavior, how to fight for our communities? How many children feel empowered to take on the biggest challenges of our time and find a way to contribute?
It’s sad to say, but I’ve noticed more and more kids completely focused on themselves. Where they want to go to college, vacations they want to take, things they want to buy. Sometimes it feels like we’re training a nation and a world of narcissists, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that helicopter parenting has played a big role in this.
The American Idea Is All Wrong
Kids are growing up feeling like they’re the center of the universe. As young adults, they’re not only lacking grit and independence; they’re wholly unprepared to take on causes that could make the world a better place.
They tend to focus on money because they think it will make them happy and fulfilled. It’s the American idea: Get rich, then do nothing. Sit on a beach. Go out for an expensive dinner. Go to Las Vegas. But these kinds of pursuits turn people into narcissists and thrill addicts.
There seems to be a number of them here in Silicon Valley, people who worry about themselves before anyone else. They don’t prioritize the good of the community, they don’t fight for social causes and they aren’t pursuing a life of meaning and purpose.
As a result, they often end up isolated and depressed. I’ve met lots of unhappy millionaires and even some unhappy billionaires. A lot of them probably started out as directionless kids.
Prioritize Service & Purpose
Why do you think that here in the U.S. we have an epidemic of opioid addiction, depression, and suicide? We don’t seem to have the right information about how to live well, how to take care of ourselves and others.
We’re chasing money and possessions. Not service, not purpose. If we have a purpose at all, it’s to make ourselves happy. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s this: You’re happiest—as well as most beneficial to society—when you’re doing things to help others.
Your family may have similar stories and a natural impulse to serve. You might know exactly how I felt as a college student convinced I could change the world. But what if you don’t? What if you were told to focus on personal success and don’t know where to start?
Well, I have good news: It’s not that hard. The main thing you need is the right attitude—toward yourself and your children. You can start small. Volunteer for one hour in your community. Go to a city council meeting. Research an issue that affects your neighborhood. At the very least, you can vote.
Everywhere there’s a problem to be solved, someone or some group to support and champion. It really is a way of being in the world, and when it comes to our kids, it pays to shape this perspective as early as possible.”
A lifestyle writer whose work can be seen in Red Tricycle, Money.com, Livestrong.com and Redbook. When she’s not checking out new events, museums, and restaurants to keep her and her kids entertained, she can be found wandering around flea markets and thrift stores looking for cool vintage finds.
Choices, choices, choices. When it comes to pancakes, you could go with the classic buttermilk, opt to add blueberries or splurge with nutella. No matter your craving, we searched for the tastiest and easiest pancake recipes around to start your day right. Flip through the gallery and then share your pancake breakfasts with us on Instagram or Facebook by tagging #RedTricycle.
Can this pancake recipe live up to its title of World’s Simplest? With just two ingredients (can you guess what they are?) it’ll be easy for you to find out. Hurry The Food Up blog has the recipe here.
Cupcakes aren’t the only treat where funfetti is appropriate. The food blog Sally’s Baking Addiction claims these pancakes are the sweetest way to wake up in the morning, and we couldn’t agree more. For the entire recipe click here.
By now you’ve realized nutella goes with pretty much anything and pancakes are no exception. As the blog, RecipeTin Eats notes, these aren’t just pancakes with a layer of nutella; they are pancakes STUFFED with nutella. Ready to get your nutella on? Click here for the full how-to.
The food blog Baker By Nature has labeled this recipe, “the recipe of your dreams” and it sure lives up to the hype. Fluffy, packed with blueberries and super easy to make, you’ll be dreaming of these blueberry pancakes all day long. Get the recipe here.
Foreign Cinema restaurant in San Francisco is one of the most popular places to go for weekend brunch in the Bay Area so we were pretty excited to get the co-owners’ (they also happen to be the restaurant’s head chefs and local parents) recipe for lemon pancakes. For the scoop click here.
Cookies meet pancakes. Say it together: YES, FINALLY! The food blog The Minimalist Baker dreamed up this ultimate combo. For a peek at how to make your own stack, click here.
Let the pumpkin have its day in the form of these decadent Pumpkin Cinnamon Streusel Pancakes. The blog, Two Peas and Their Pod has the scoop on the pancakes you’ll want to make this fall. Click here for the how-to.
Good news is you’re still going to be alive and well at 47, which should come as a definite surprise considering you think people my age fall into the old category. You are clueless and naïve about the aging process, despite your beautiful innocence.
In a couple decades your understanding of middle age will enlighten and humble your firm edge lines. Not to mention drain your wallet when you realize how many panty liners and expensive pee proof undies you will have to buy to ward off your leakage issue.
Listen, mini me, I can still move, shake, grind, and toss one back with the best of them – even in my limited capacity. Never mind I how I may feel the day after pretending I’m half my age. Pain, discomfort, and hangovers are relative. Not to mention, badges of aging honor.
I’m here to share with you ten important things I’d like your twenty something self to know, which is a mere microcosm of wisdom you need to absorb. Consider these tips the most important, and build off each one to further your journey into the real world.
1. Die to self This can’t happen soon enough. Although it may come as a surprise, you aren’t the center of your own universe. Life is about relationships and the faster you learn who you are as a part of someone else, the sooner your selfish ways will fade. We are on this planet to serve, not to be served. Crazy, I know.
2. Join SPA (Smart Phone Anonymous) Instant access to everything across the globe at the touch of a finger is overrated, so you should get help for your addiction sooner than later. Lasting wonder exists all around you in real time: live human beings, beautiful nature, sporting events you pay gobs of money to watch; to name a few. Plus walking with your head down is hazardous for you and others. Slow down. Savor the moments. Rely on your own brain instead of the google noodle.
3. Laugh often. Smile every day. Cry whenever you feel like it. Each one empties the soul, allowing more life energy to flow back in.
4. Spend time with the elderly Senior citizens are walking TED talks. Pay attention and learn from their triumphs and failures. They know what’s important in life by now. Chances are you don’t.
5. Learn to love yourself and the unique blessing God created you to be You have value, worth, and purpose no matter what anyone tells you otherwise. Learn to cherish the person in the mirror.
6. Ask yourself if __________ will matter 10 minutes, one hour, 3 days, 2 weeks from now. If the answer is no, let it go
7. Be a good listener, not just a hearer Communication is paramount to success. Listen first. Don’t interrupt. Repeat back what you’ve heard to clarify. Listen some more. Speak last.
8. Pursue your dreams and listen to your heart Trust yourself and rely on your inner compass. You get one shot at life and greatness awaits those who keep striving.
9. Be real. Own your authentic self. Don’t waste your time pretending. Be you. Be bold. Be brave.
10. Be LOVE Love is the Nike swish meaning of life. Just do it.
Do you have a story to share with our readers? We want to hear it!Sign up for our Spoke Contributor Network and startsubmitting your writing today.