“You can be an amazing mom, a great partner, a supportive sibling, a kind daughter, a competent coworker, a good friend, and an amazing individual”

I have spent my whole life setting myself on fire to keep everyone around me warm—sacrificing my time, emotional energy, and, quite often, my well-being and sanity for other people. It certainly wasn’t ingrained in me to do this just in motherhood. Oh no, it started far before children, when I was a kid myself. I learned to wipe my own tears, stuff down my feelings and do what was right for everyone… everyone but me.

Due to this self-sacrificing nature that my childhood demanded, I developed a trigger about taking time for myself away from my children. I was so determined not to make them put their needs aside like I had to do, that I didn’t take care of myself at all. Like seriously at all. I hated the term “self-care.” I couldn’t relate to moms who went out without their kids, literally ever. I had two pedicures in seven years, and my daughter was with me both times. I was so afraid of not being there for everyone and not taking care of my kids in the way they deserved that I held myself to an impossible standard—never allowing myself a break.

I was quite willing to happily sacrifice my last ounce of sanity and self to parenthood. Sure, I was burned out, but they were worth it, and I felt that was what I needed to do to be the best mother possible. I am sure I did a fabulous job taking care of my family, my kids, and my friends. But my skill set in no way involved how to take care of myself and my mental health. Not only did I not know how to set healthy boundaries, but also how not to feel bad about setting them.

What does this slow burn look like for me through the rest of adulthood? I spend all my time fixing people’s problems, absorbing the pain and anxiety of others, giving out advice, and competing for the title of “Most Dependable Human Being, Friend, Daughter, Wife, and Mother.” It means I put my needs on the back burner, thinking I’ll get back around to some form of self-care at some point. And guess what? It never happens. I have given up my health, my peace, my joy, my comfort, and even my safety to keep everyone around me happy.

Then finally, this past year, after a lifetime of pouring out all I had and everything I was, and after almost 10 years of mothering in the same way, I broke down. Not just an “I need a break” kind of meltdown but a complete and total realization that I had to change how I looked at everything to sustain being a good parent and person.

I realized having healthy boundaries doesn’t make me a bad person. I am now learning to listen to my gut when it tells me that I’ve had enough of something and that I need to take a break or step back. Continuing to be a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend can only happen if I give myself permission to help when I can and to stop when I can’t. It means I recognize that I can assist in others’ journeys without feeling like I have to do the work for them. I can care without carrying everyone else’s burdens.

I have always viewed sacrifice as the mother of all virtues, and listen, as a mom, I think most of the time it is a virtue. My kids are my No. 1 priority and I will never put myself before them, but I learned a very important thing about self-care in the last year. Taking care of yourself isn’t just saying “me first,” it’s also saying, “Hey! My health and my well-being matter as much as yours, and being the best mom that I can be requires some breaks and resets sometimes.”

You can be an amazing mom, a great partner, a supportive sibling, a kind daughter, a competent coworker, a good friend, and an amazing individual. You can give to others without it always being to your detriment. You can meet others’ needs without completely abandoning your own.

Taking care of yourself also means you want nothing more than to help your children chase their dreams while running right alongside them, chasing yours as well.

 

The Redeemed Mama is a writer who had had articles published by The Today Show, Love What Matters, The Mighty, Faithit, For Every Mom, The Creative Child Magazine and more. She has 3 beautiful kids and resides in Southern Arizona and loves writing about parenting, life and growth!

Sometimes, saying “I’m proud of you” can make all the difference

When you become a parent, you pick up the basics pretty quickly. It’s figuring out how to raise happy and confident kids that can be a challenge as the years go on. What we do know is that positive words for kids will go a long way to help boost their confidence and change their day for the better—sometimes it’s words of encouragement, and sometimes it’s just a simple “I love you.” In that spirit, here are 30 positive things to say to kids.

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1. You make me smile. Telling your kiddo they make you happy is one thing. But telling them they're the reason for your smile will give them happiness and a sense of pride that'll stick around all day.

2. Your words matter. The old saying "sticks and stones" isn't entirely accurate. Let your kids know that words have power.

3. Tell me one good thing that happened today. Focusing on the positive helps keep the bad stuff at bay.

4. Tell me one bad thing that happened today. It’s important to talk about the bad stuff too.

5. I'm proud of you for doing XYZ. When kids hear that someone is proud of them, it has a big impact on them. Think of one positive thing, and tell your little one about it.

Related: The Only 2 Things to Say to Your Kid after a Game

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6. Mistakes happen. Kids are a messy business, and they may ruin the nice stuff you own. But what's more important—material things (just keep the priceless china stashed away) or your kids knowing they can come to you when they make a mistake? That knowledge that you love them unconditionally goes a long way in life.

7. How are you? Asking your kiddo how she feels shows that you are interested in them. Brandi Russell, a pediatric occupational therapist, and parenting coach recommends checking in with your little ones just as you would a spouse or friend.

8. What would you do? This is a great response to kids always asking for help with things. Empower them while giving yourself a break. You may not think much of it now, but that empowerment goes a long way as they grow older.

9. What nice thing did you do or say today? Encourage kindness by reinforcing it daily.

10. Nothing will change my love for you. This phrase may seem self-evident, but sometimes kids need you to state the obvious. Rebecca Eans, the bestselling author of Positive Parenting, believes you can't go wrong with this loving reminder.

Related: 20 Empowering Things to Say to Your Daughter Every Day

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11. Don’t let mean people define who you are. There will always be bullies in life. This simple phrase helps kids know that negative voices are not the most important, and it's a lesson they can remember as they encounter difficult people as teens and adults.

12. I like it when you … Even when the kids are driving you crazy, there’s always at least one thing they did that made you smile.

13. Please. If we want respect as parents, then we need to show that same behavior to our kids. Dr. John DeGarmo, a national foster parent coach, advocates parents should always say "please" and "thank you" to model respectful behavior.

14. Clean up your toys, dishes, or whatever is left out. Encourage kids to take ownership of cleaning up their belongings, says Maureen Healy, author of Growing Happy Kids. Even if it’s just one or two items a day, it will help you in the long run.

15. That’s smart thinking. Sometimes hearing you’re smart is even more powerful than telling a kid she looks cute. That early feeling of being called intelligent is sometimes one of the memories kids remember most as they grow.

Related: 11 Important Things Dads Should Say to Their Sons

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16. I like you. Kids may hear the words “I love you” regularly, but do they know you like them too?

17. I’m proud of you. They know you love them. But do they know you’re proud of them too? Author, and clinical psychologist, Dr. Sherrie Campbell believes those words are just as important as affirmations of love to kids.

18. Thank you. Social skills and courtesy are important in the home and outside of it, and they are skills that go through adulthood.

19. I’m sorry. We all lose our temper or make mistakes. Dr. Alison Mitzner, a pediatric specialist, believes what’s important is how we react.

20. Just be yourself. Teach your kids they’re enough, and they never have to be anyone else.

Related: 10 Things to Say About Yourself in Front of Your Kid

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21. I love being with you. Amy McCready is a parenting educator who believes encouraging words and phrases go a long way to help your kids feel safe and secure. Telling your little one how you love being with them is a great positive affirmation they'll never tire of hearing.

22. Do your best. It’s not about the result. It’s about how you get there.

23. Always tell the truth, even if it’s not great. The sooner kids know you’ll still love them after hearing the truth—even if it’s not great—the more truthful they’ll be as they grow.

24. I'm listening. What do you want to say? According to Katie Hurley, LCSW, 57% of girls say they don’t always tell their parents certain things because they don’t want their parents to think badly of them. Show your kids you do care what they have to say by demonstrating you want to listen to them share information with you.

25. You don’t have to eat it. It’s tough to deal with picky eaters. Instead of fighting with your kids to eat their veggies, give them the power to say no and be in control. But don’t provide an alternative meal choice or dessert either.

Related: 7 Things NOT to Say to Your Daughter

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26. You make me happy. Because everyone wants to feel like they matter to someone else.

27. I love you. They may be simple, but Jennifer Wolf, a PCI-certified parent coach, believes there's no substitute for these powerful words.

28. What do you think we should do today? Letting your kids have a say in the day's activities will do a lot to keep them feeling satisfied and valued for more than just a few hours.

29. You make a difference... in life, in the family, and at school. When kids hear they're important, they feel empowered and happier.

30. You were right. To let a child know when they were right (and maybe you were wrong) is empowering. 

 

 

As my kids grow into adulthood, I’m learning how to love them differently.

Don’t get me wrong, I love them equally and fiercely—sometimes with an intensity that frightens me. But as they move from teenager to adulthood and I get glimpses of the young adults they’re becoming, I realize that they see and hear love in very different ways.

Take my eldest daughter, Skylar, for instance. She’s bright, cheery, and lights up a room when she walks into it. She’s also warm, affectionate, and very free with her hugs. We can converse for hours and simply telling her I love her is enough to start the waterworks.

Her sister, Elise, couldn’t be more different if she tried. She’s strong-spirited, independent, and determined. She hates asking for help, and parenting her has been a tricky, intense experience especially since she has struggled with depression in the past. Seeing my baby girl going through depression for most of her adolescence broke my heart. It wasn’t until she was on her way to recovery, and I learned how to show her love differently, that we started connecting.

Then there’s my son, Ryan. Like most teen boys, he would rather eat dirt than be seen hugging his mom. He’s uncomfortable with overt shows of affection and prefers a pat on the back or a fist bump to a hug from his father or me.

Raising kids with such varying personalities means that I needed to find new ways to show and give them love, even when it’s not always reciprocated:

I show them that I love them by being present.

Both Elise and Ryan play sports, and I dutifully show up to all their games. Most times they don’t acknowledge my presence because it’s just “not cool,” but I love being there, and it matters to me that they know they have my support. So I show up, cheer them on, listen when they talk or vent, and do my best to give them my time and attention.

I’ve learned to speak love in other languages.

Sometimes the best way to express love is with actions. I leave notes or send my kids texts, letting them know how proud I am of them. I make sure we’re fully stocked with the protein bars my son wolfs down after practice and ensure Elise’s shampoo never runs out. These small acts of service might not seem like much, but they’re my way of showing my kids how much I care.

I’m learning that love exists in small moments.

Mindful parenting has taught me that there are dozens of small, wonderful moments that I should be grateful for every day. I’ve learned to be thankful for all the awesome things my teens bring into my life. The moments Elise strikes up a conversation or when Skylar makes dinner or when Ryan, ever the comedian, has us in stitches.

For me, these are the moments that make parenting worth it.

I still say, “I love you.”

I still say these words even when they’re not acknowledged or returned by my children because no matter what, they’re still true, and it is important to me that my children can look back and know I actively expressed that I loved them.

Loving children is easy: It’s showing them love in a way that they can understand and appreciate that’s the hard part. I’m still learning, changing, and adapting as I go, but as of right now, I am happy knowing that I am always trying to let my loved ones know that I genuinely care.

Cindy Price would like to say she's a parenting expert but she knows better than to do that. As a parent educator and writer for over 15 years, she's well-aware how quickly parenting practices evolve. Family is her greatest joy and she hopes her writing can help make families stronger. 

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is understanding and recognizing your emotions, and how they impact you and those around you. It also involves perspective taking, comprehending empathy, and having a real understanding of others’ emotions too. It is about building self-awareness and learning emotional self-regulation as well as gaining the social skills to connect and understand others.

How Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Different from Intelligence Quotient (IQ)?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is intelligence specifically relating to emotions, how an individual can classify, evaluate, regulate and communicate emotions—people skills. Intelligence Quotient (IQ) refers to processing, applying, filtering, and retaining information, logical reasoning, and abstract and spatial thinking—book smart. It is a different skill set, both of which can be inherent and learned.

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence for Your Child:

  • Enhances emotional regulation

  • Encourages positive conflict resolution skills

  • Helps your child absorb critical feedback and use it constructively to grow

  • Guides your child to be a team player and work cooperatively with success

  • Activates listening skills

Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence through These 5 Actions:

1. Label your child’s emotions, give feelings a name. Acknowledging emotions by using simple language, “I see you are feeling (insert emotion),” provides validation and gives your child the affirmation that you are listening and understanding them at the moment.

2. Do simple breathing exercises to promote emotional self-regulation.

3. Be an active listener, especially if your child is harboring views that are different from yours. Ask questions to gain an understanding of why they may think a certain way and refrain from judgment.

4. Write it down or draw a picture. Sometimes when your child is experiencing a big emotion, the feeling gets trapped and swirls around their head and builds up to grow into something bigger than it may be in reality. Verbalising, writing, or drawing is a release valve.

5. Give your child a task with a goal (finishing a puzzle, getting dressed alone, putting on their shoes, etc.) this gives a sense of ownership over self-motivation. Encourage your child to follow through despite the outcome.

Research shows high levels of emotional intelligence are directly linked to academic achievement, better relationships, greater success for adulthood, and improved mental health. The most exciting thing about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be taught and learned. Nurturing your child’s Emotional Intelligence will give them a strong foundation in which to flourish.

RELATED:
Kids Who Can Manage Emotions Do Better In School, Study Finds
The One Thing We Miss When We Applaud Our Kid’s Success
How to Help Kids Handle Their Emotions

Do you have a story you’d like to share with our readers? We’d love to hear it! Sign up to contribute your story on our Voices Network.

Hi! I am an author, founder and educator. I have a Bachelor of Media Communications, Bachelor of Elementary Education Degrees as well as an Early Childhood Montessori Certification and in the process of completing a Master of Education. I live between New York and Byron Bay. I'm the mama of Grace, Theodore and Little Dude! 

When her son was 12 years old, Minnesota mom Lorna Klefsaas made him a deal: stay off social media until he was 18 and she’d give him $1,800. Up for the challenge, Sivert said yes. Or in his own words, “Oh sick, yeah, absolutely!” he tells station KARE 11.

Now, six years later, the 18-year-old just cashed in on his mom’s “18 for 18” deal and both are reflecting back on the time spent without the likes of Snapchat, Instagram and TikTok. “He thinks all the attention is funny as he had no idea anyone would care or think it was impressive,” Klefsaas tells Tinybeans. “But he is having a lot of fun with it and enjoying the whirlwind!”

He told CNN, “I wouldn’t say there was ever a time where I thought I was about to break. As it went on, it was more of a pride thing.”

Of course, at the age of 12, Sivert didn’t have a huge interest in social media so the decision was easy. As the years went on, there were temptations but he says his friends helped him stay on top of trends without logging on himself. “For the amount of drama I avoided, it was totally worth it” he share on Good Morning America.

So where did the idea come from? Klefsaas has personal experience with the negative effects of social media, watching her older daughter struggle with getting “concerned and really hurt feelings.” At that time, she decided to get her off social media all together. Less than three weeks later, her daughter thanked her.

“It was definitely inspired by the idea of, ‘what can I do to help him hold off as long as possible,” Klefsaas tells GMA.

Now that Sivert is $1,800 richer, what now? The 18-year-old is dipping his toes into the social media world. He tells KARE 11, he can’t “seem to figure out social media. It’s hilarious. I feel like I’m like 80. It’s pretty embarrassing.”

Embarrassing or not, this young man is ready to enter the world of adulthood a little lighter than the rest of us. Well done, mama.

––Karly Wood

 

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Teaching young children how to handle their finances pays huge dividends (pun 100% intended) both now and in the future. Not sure how to craft age-appropriate lessons for your squad? We interviewed four financial professionals and came up with a list of 10 money skills that deliver the biggest bang for your buck. Read on for all the details.

1. Use Everyday Moments to Talk about Money

Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels

"It's important to have regular conversations about money management while your child is still young to push them towards positive financial outcomes in early adulthood," advises Jennifer Seitz, Educational Content Lead at Greenlight and Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI). 

Make it make 'cents': Seitz suggests parents "Look for practical daily examples of spending and budgeting and share them with your child; for example, when you take your child grocery shopping, you can pull out your card for the cashier and then ask your child, "Do you know what type of card this is? Is it a credit card or a debit card?" 

This creates a learning opportunity to explain how debit cards take money directly from your bank account, while credit cards have a balance that must be paid each month. It's not free money or magic money—help your child understand how it works!"

 

2. Talk about Wants vs. Needs

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Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

We need air, food, water, shelter and clothing. While your crew might beg to differ, we don't need toy cars or princess crowns. Needs are the things we buy before we buy the things we want.

Make it make 'cents': Together with the kiddo, grab a bunch of old magazines and coupon mailers, cut out different pictures, and glue them on a sheet of paper so that you have a collage of wants and a collage of needs.

3. Pay Kids for Unusual Tasks

Photo by Amina Filkins from Pexels

How nice would it be to get paid for making your bed, folding clothes or cutting your grass? Alas, it's not the case, so why do we lead kids on with chore-driven allowance? Consider giving them cash for extra work that they don't usually do (i.e., helping cook dinner or washing the family pet).

Make it make 'cents': Charge your mini-money makers with organizing a bake sale to earn extra money. They'll have a blast setting up shop and get a taste of what it's like to have a job.

 

4. Demonstrate the Wonder of Compound Interest

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Tom Byrum, Sr. Director, Head of Global Sales Compensation at a Fortune 500 company, uses a hands-on approach to get his child excited about saving money. "I'm paying my 10-year-old daughter an exorbitant monthly interest rate on her savings to illustrate the time value of money. She had fun calculating how much her $37 would grow at 10 percent interest per day for 30 days (no, that's not what I'm paying). She kept guessing how much she thought it would be and passed her guess two cycles later." 

Make it make 'cents': Even the smallest fry can learn this lesson if you make it visual. Arm yourself with a roll of pennies and a Mason jar so your preschooler can see how quickly the change builds up.

 

5. Explain the Different Types of Money

Sharon McCutcheon via Unsplash

There are coins, paper bills, paper checks, debit and credit cards–and you use them all at different times for purchases. The idea of monetary variety is a hard one to grasp for the under 10 set, especially when you can buy things with "invisible money" (aka credit cards). And let's not even get started on the difference between a checking and a savings account. 

Rod Griffin, Senior Director of Public Education and Advocacy at Experian, advises parents to "...help their children develop good financial habits by teaching them the difference between a checking and savings account and how banks store funds. Take a trip to the bank as a teaching experience and deposit or cash a check." 

Make it make 'cents': Make "invisible" money visible. Set one person up as the bank and have your kid "pay" for items around the house with a debit card. The bank person should then take the money out of the bank and give it to you.

6. Talk about Credit Cards

Frankie Cordoba via Unsplash

"Without the proper knowledge of best practices, credit cards can lead to a lot of trouble for adults, both young and old," says Griffin. "Parents should teach children what credit cards are and how to use them wisely. Going through a credit card statement can go a long way in helping children understand the cause and effect of using credit cards, the importance of making on-time payments and how it can impact their credit score."

Make it make 'cents': Role play the difference between making a purchase with good credit vs. bad credit. Kids with good credit can buy a popsicle for $2, while those with low scores get charged $6. If you have more than one child, we suggest giving everyone the same credit score, so you don't start a mutiny.

7. Teach Kids to Budget and Plan for Their Needs

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Ashraf Jaffer, Adjunct Accounting Professor at the University of North Carolina, has been doing this since her son was five years old. "He has a budget from birthday and holiday money. When he was younger, we would give him the prices of things he wanted. He would come up with a combination of things that would fit within his budget (which is a great way to incorporate math lessons). Now that he is older, we ask him to research prices and come up with a proposal and justification. The final decision is with us, but he feels he is more in control and participates in the decision process."

Make it make 'cents': Print out a calendar and pencil in planned family trips, holidays and special occasions. Ask your child to set aside spending money for each event before budgeting for immediate wants.

8. Don't Fudge the Budget

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

"Stick to the budget and do not exceed it even if your kid's argument for spending more is great," advises Jaffer. "They will learn to prioritize spending needs and patience if you don't give in and increase the budget." 

We know, we know—easier said than done. But the sooner kids understand that they can't buy things if they don't have enough money, the better. 

Make it make 'cents': Create and label four money jars: "spend," "save," "share," and "invest." It's up to your kiddo to decide where the money goes. Another fun way to practice budgeting? Play Monopoly!

9. Model Charitable Giving

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Kids have great examples of $$$-stingy characters—think Scrooge, who no matter how much money he has, hoards it all to himself. Giving (even the smallest amount) to those who have less is a fundamental money lesson that naturally empathetic kids can enjoy.

Make it make 'cents': Together, research and choose one charity to donate money to each month.

10. Reinforce Positive Money Choices

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“Talk about their successes and reward them,” says Seitz. “Did they decide against buying something they didn’t really need? Smart move! Explain that now they can use the money for something else, which is that core money principal: opportunity cost. Did they choose to save their birthday money for an important big-ticket item? Tell them how proud you are! And why learning to save is so important as they grow up and become financially independent.”

Make it make 'cents': Be as specific as possible in your praise to really solidify the lesson. The more your little one feels warm and fuzzy about their financially responsible decisions, the better.

 

—Teresa Douglas & Ayren Jackson

Featured image: iStock 

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I used to be terrified of people (talking on the phone, answering the door, talking with relatives and neighbors). Pit in the stomach, tight throat, sweaty palms. I hated it with my whole being and just wanted to disappear. Then, I found band class. At first, I fell in love with the fact that no one had to talk! Your mouth was occupied with blowing into the instrument (score!). Then, I fell in love with the music, and how all of these awkward, gangly middle schoolers could come together and make something beautiful, to be part of something bigger than us. With emphasis on the whole.

For many people, music provides a vital release of emotions and pent up energy. It can be soothing and help improve your self-confidence. Music encourages us to slow down and be in the present moment more. It’s also strongly tied to memory, literacy skills and can boost brain function. Additionally, it has the power to move you to tears or to jump for joy. Most importantly, music helps us connect to something bigger than ourselves, to feel heard and understood and allowed to just be.

I believe in harnessing the powers of music to connect and communicate with our kids. I’m a huge advocate for using music as part of your positive parenting approach.

And before you say, “Ok, but I’m just not musical” or “This won’t work for me because I can’t sing,” wait! Everyone, everyone has an inner musician just waiting to come out and play. Sure, maybe as a kid you were told that you “can’t sing” and you took on that false belief as if it were the truth. I see you. I’m so sorry. And, it’s just not true!

Music is a skill just like any other, and can be improved with some intentional practice.

If you believe, as I do, in music’s ability to raise kind and sensitive humans, first believe in yourself. Know that there is no greater parent for your child than you. Yes, even if you “can’t sing.” What profound life lessons you can teach your kid through your own musical journey of trying something new, being a beginner, practicing, improving, perseverance, being a lifelong learner, plus busting the myth of “perfection” even in adulthood. You can learn right along with your child. Talk about a fantastic bonding experience.

Here are 5 easy ways to start incorporating more music (& joy) into your family life, starting today.

1. Listen to Music You Like
Share your favorite music with your child. Belt out the words no matter how out of tune you think you sound. Your child doesn’t actually know what’s “in tune” or not, they only care about your energy and joy. If you’re enjoying yourself, then your child will, too. Pretend you’re a rockstar on a stage if that helps, sing loud and proud!

2. Draw to Music
Put on some classical or instrumental music and draw what the music makes you feel. No singing required. Draw for a few minutes. Be intentional about your colors, shapes, designs, etc. Share what you drew and why at the end.

3. Start a Family Dance Party
Crank up the party music and get silly! Wiggle, shake, dance, jump, bounce, slide. Take turns copying each other’s dance moves. This is also a great way to reset the energy of the day, too. The sillier the better. Play Follow-The-Leader around the house.

4. Play Instruments Together
Grab a drum and a maraca and play, play, play. Take turns playing rhythmic patterns. Copy each other’s rhythms. Play a steady beat (pulse) while you sing a favorite nursery song or recite a rhyme. Change the speed. Change the volume.

5. Choose One Specific Song
Got tantrums? (washing hands, brushing teeth, bath time, diaper changes, bedtime…) Choose one specific song that you ONLY listen to during that time to make it extra special, plus something to look forward to.

Keep these tips handy as you lead from the heart in your peaceful parenting practice. Help your child navigate this great, big world with ease, compassion and confidence.

Holly, BMEd loves showing you how to use music to connect and communicate with your kid! She is also a mama, lover of all things colorful and silly, and founder of Harmony Lodge Music - where music and parenting connect playfully. She offers online music classes for littles age 0-6.

Good nutrition is essential for brain development during the first 1,000 days of a child’s life. However, some parents may not be aware that poor nutrition during this crucial time can have lasting effects on cognitive and social development from early childhood through adulthood. 

As a pediatrician and a busy mom of two, I know firsthand that the struggle is real when it comes to making sure our kids are eating healthy and nutritious foods. When my kids were babies and toddlers, it was especially difficult to make sure they got the necessary vitamins and nutrients into their tummies, mostly because they were picky, inconsistent eaters. Of course, I am not alone in this problem.

A recent study, which examined nutrient intake and adequacy in diets of children ages one through six, found that although most had adequate intakes of essential vitamins and nutrients, there were several areas where there were significant nutritional inadequacies, specifically calcium, vitamin D, DHA and iron. In fact, it revealed that Black children are the most deficient in iron (11.7%). The study also found that most children do not consume enough potassium, fiber, or choline. This is cause for concern in babies, toddlers, and young children.

So, what can we, as parents, do to make sure our own children are getting the proper nutrients they need for brain development during the first few years of their lives?

First, instead of agonizing over the fact that your children absolutely must eat healthy foods every day, take baby steps. Focus on making sure they’re ingesting those vital nutrients every week. Make sure that when prepping meals for the week ahead, you’re being mindful of nutrients like iron, calcium, vitamin D, and DHA. It’s also important to note that a lot of these micronutrients overlap. For example, if your child is getting enough calcium and iron, it’s likely he or she is also getting a ton of other nutrients too, since most nutrient-dense foods contain more than one.

Unfortunately, not all kids will eat certain nutrient-rich foods like fatty fish or leafy greens. In this case, I say if at first you don’t succeed, try again. Just because they won’t eat it the first time you make it doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Involve your kids in the grocery shopping and let them help you pick out healthy foods. Visit the seafood section more often. Buy some frozen shrimp and fatty fish so you expose them to these different types of food. Then, let them help you prepare family meals. Kids tend to be more likely to eat foods they’ve helped prepare.

In the case of iron and calcium-packed leafy greens, you can certainly blend them into a smoothie, muffins, or sauce from time to time, but I would also recommend that parents let their children see the whole food in its natural state (in a salad for example) as well so they can taste and touch it. Even if they do not like it at first, they will eventually become more open to trying it again and maybe even accepting it since their palates evolve over time.    

Other great nutrient packed foods include eggs (in all forms) and oranges, which are high in calcium and serve as a great substitute for kids who do not or cannot eat dairy. There are even some cereals that are fortified with iron.

For those families who cannot have specific foods in the house because a family member is allergic, talk to your pediatrician about what foods would be good, nutrient-rich substitutes.

The key takeaway here is patience and persistence. Exposing our children to a wide variety of colorful foods with different textures and nutrients, early and often, can work wonders for their development in the long run. And lastly, don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re doing just fine.

Dr. Natasha Burgert
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Dr. Natasha Burgert is a board-certified pediatrician in Overland Park, Kansas. A national spokesperson for American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), Dr. Burgert is a regular contributor to Forbes Health, US News & World Report and more. She has been featured The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Parents magazine, and more. kckidsdoc.com.

Saturday morning cartoons that Gen X-ers and millennials watched as children have been replaced with endless TikToks, memes, and FaceTime for kids today. Even more, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, teens of all ages have significantly increased their screen time, and it has never been more important to check in with your teens about their internet activities.

Today’s teens have grown up with a digital life, but that doesn’t mean they inherently know the risks of sharing the ins and outs of their day. As schooling tools shift online and students are accessing the internet more often than ever before, parents need to take steps to keep their teens safe online.

Since 45% of teens have stated, they’re online “almost constantly,” USDISH encourages you to check out the tips below to learn how to help your teens with online safety.

1. Talk about Digital Footprints

Digital footprint” is a term used to describe every action someone takes online. Your kids might assume that having a private social media profile keeps their posts, well, private, but that’s not always the case. It’s important for your teens to know that their private posts can still be screenshot and shared, and their digital footprint is never as confidential as they think it is. There are no do-overs after something has been posted!

2. Educate about Phishing Tactics

Phishing is a type of cyber scam in which a criminal convinces someone to give up private information by appearing to be a trustworthy source. For teens, this often looks like fake scholarship messages, DMs from someone posing as an influencer, or fraudulent employment offers. Remind your kids that if they receive messages about anything involving money or personal information, they should always verify the source.

3. Explain the Information That Should Stay Private

Posting a picture of your dog or birthday may seem innocuous, but cybercriminals can use this information to answer security questions and hack into accounts. Make sure your kids know the following information should stay out of posts, comments, and DMs:

  • Pet names

  • Parent maiden names

  • Full birthdate

  • Last names

  • Phone numbers

  • Email addresses

 

4. Teach That Word Choice Matters

59% of teens in America have experienced cyberbullying, and your teen should know how to identify and report bullying in the digital space. Additionally, teens need to be aware that words matter, and how they choose to treat other people online can follow them into adulthood.

While it’s unfortunate that so many teens have experienced bullying online, the good news is that the majority of teens find parents to be highly effective at addressing online harassment.

Check out USDish.com’s Essential Teen Internet Safety Guide for more tips and tricks on how to keep your teens safe—from social media to social studies. The internet might feel like the Wild West, but with a few extra precautions, your family can stay safe and happy online.

 

USDISH.com is one of the nation’s premier online DISH retailers. Our goals are to give you great deals on DISH satellite and internet services. 

As your daughter grows, the one thing you can wish for is that she will be happy and confident wherever life takes her. Girls have had a tough time growing up in this age. There are so many beauty standards and expectations. The celebrity culture and social media may pose as if they’re advocating for girls to follow their dreams, but they portray the opposite in reality.

Historically, the culture expected women to stay at home, clean the house and care for their children. If they tried to pursue anything beyond that, they were often looked down upon or reprimanded. While this has changed over the years, your daughters may still have difficulty imagining being anything other than that.

You want to do everything in your power to support and encourage your daughters. Helping her build and grow in confidence to develop her future is one of the best things you can do as a parent. With these tips, you can learn how to encourage our daughters to follow their dreams.

Follow Your Dreams Yourself
Your children look up to you and follow your actions. The things they learn are often a reflection of your attitudes and behaviors. Small children especially soak in everything that you do and remember your actions more than they remember your words. Although the saying is “Do as I say, not as I do,” kids tend to do what you do, whether you like it or not.

That’s why, as a parent, you need to be leading by example for your daughters. If you want a daughter who is confident and pursuing her dreams, then you need to do that yourself. Talk about your dreams and what it took for you to achieve those. If you need further help, give your daughter examples of women who have followed their dreams.

Invest in Your Daughter’s Education
Education is essential in every child’s life. School is where many children hear about people in history who followed their dreams and achieved seemingly impossible goals. Plus, the things your daughter learns in school can empower her and set her up with the necessary skills for a successful future.

Be transparent about the importance of education. Get your daughter excited about learning. Show her how useful it is to get a good education. Education has helped pave the way for breaking gender roles in jobs, which is why you see more and more women doing a “man’s” job!

Help Her Set Realistic & Achievable Goals
Of course, you want to see your daughter reach every goal in her life. However, not everything in life is realistic or achievable. For example, your young daughter might dream of transforming into an animal or living under the sea. Or, your five-year-old daughter might dream of becoming the President of the United States by the age of seven.

These dreams aren’t realistic, but you can help your daughter think of possible alternatives. Maybe instead, she could work at a zoo or be a marine biologist. Additionally, she could work on her presidential dream by reading about presidents or running for student government. Set short-term goals with her that are achievable within the next year so she can feel accomplished.

Listen to Her Dreams
Communicate with your daughter about her dreams. If she has something she wants to achieve, sit down with her and listen. She’s probably super excited about the vision she has, so having someone to listen to her can be encouraging.

Make this time judgment-free. Try to avoid discouraging words. Ask your daughter questions about how she will reach her dreams, and ask if she would like any advice from you. Give her your undivided attention during this time.

Encourage Her to Fix Mistakes on Her Own
As a parent, it’s common to want to pick up after your child and fix their mistakes. While this is sometimes necessary for younger children, as your daughter gets older and can make choices independently, let her fix her own mistakes and make her own decisions.

If you continue to do things for your daughter, she might expect that you do that for her even into adulthood. Mistakes are necessary teaching points in people’s lives. If something bad happens in your daughter’s life, you can discuss it with her and advise if needed, but generally, you want to allow her to problem solve on her own so she can do better next time.

Celebrate Failures, Efforts & Achievements
When following any dream or goal, there will be failures, achievements and strenuous efforts and work. Failing at a short-term goal doesn’t mean your daughter is unsuccessful. Continue to encourage her and rework the goal so it’s something more attainable. Without failure, there wouldn’t be an achievement!

Additionally, celebrate all of the effort and success your daughter has. Focus on all of the hard work she has put into her dreams. This will help build up her confidence in her skills and work and encourage her to keep trying. Of course, when she does achieve a goal, celebrate that, too! It’s exciting when your daughter reaches an accomplishment, no matter how big or small.

Dream Big, Daughters
Each time your daughter has a new dream, be open to it. Share in the excitement and wonder about her plans for the future. Above all, respect her dreams and let her follow her own path. Be there with her all the way!

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time.