Whelp we’ve made it to Christmas. It’s the time of year where one’s heart should grow three sizes and goodwill should be sprinkled like the curse words you use while trying to find the last-minute gift that your child decided was the gift of the year that you did not buy.

This is also the time of year where grief hits me hard. We recently sat down with our eager three-year-old and asked her what she hopes Santa will bring her. It was a complete fail as her belief in St. Nick is so pure this year her response was: “He knows what I want.” I want to be like, he really doesn’t so if you can help us so we don’t have the repeat of last year—where she asked numerous times who got her this? And then her famous, “Well I don’t like it.”

She keeps us on our toes so we have a backup fund labeled “Vivi” if she decides to give us a list.

But then there is my sweet seven-year-old boy Whit. He doesn’t communicate in the conventional way. I always think of the song from Bandaid “Does he know it’s Christmas time at all?!”

This year, for the first time ever, he marveled at the tree. We’ve tried to set up pictures in hopes of getting some kind of idea of what he wants for Christmas. I’m usually not an organized Christmas shopper. My husband and I have been known to run to Target on Christmas Eve for a last-minute Christmas gift or ten.

I think Whit’s not caring has given me this, “What’s the point attitude.” As I load a virtual cart with things, I think, “Will this be the year?! Will this be the time he acknowledges a gift and plays with it properly?!” Usually, it’s a no and there is always a twinge of disappointment. We have a closet full of gifts we thought would work but have backfired horribly.

Why do we keep them you may be asking? Because as a mom I have this mindset that there is always next year. There’s always next year to try Santa again. There’s always next year to get a Christmas list from Whit. There’s always next year. Then my mind wanders to what if there isn’t ever a year where he cares? What if all the Christmas buying, and therapy to help Whit process any celebration is all done in vain because I’m the mom who can’t let go and accept our reality? I get that way when people ask us for a Christmas list for Whit. He’s possibly into LEGOs, he seems to like to watch us attempt to put them together.

This is the first year that our 3-year-old is 100% sold on Christmas and I’m living up every moment of it but at the same time hoping and praying that maybe this will be the year that Whitman will open a gift, be excited, acknowledge us and play with it. I know that’s a huge hope—I’d take any of that sequence in a heartbeat. We are building our three-year-old a Target and Starbucks for our playroom. While ordering all the supplies and in my excitement, my husband stopped me and said: “I don’t want to ruin this for you but what about Whit?!” I tried to convince him that Whit has been showing interest in pretend play with his sister so fingers crossed. I added a few extra gifts for Whit to keep it even in hopes that maybe this will the year.

So here’s to the mom’s and dad’s who are feeling this too. May this be the year our kids surprise us in the best way, especially in a time where we are told to be happy but we grieve the loss of childhood traditions. May we find new holiday traditions that work for us. It’s not about the presents, I know, but sometimes it feels like it is. It’s about the love we have for each other and a reminder of how far we come in the last year even in the midst of a global pandemic. May this be the year of letting go, seeing the good, and having a little bit of hope.

This post originally appeared on The Althaus Life
Photo: The Althaus Life

 

Lindsey is a mom, wife, and blogger at The Althaus Life. She lives in Ohio with her husband and 2 children. Lindsey is grateful all things and to be able to chronicle her beautifully broken laugh til you cry cry until you laugh life.

For parents, fridge organization is a little like sleeping in on weekends—you dream about it, you attempt it once in a while, but it’s pretty hard to keep it up on the regular. The good news is that with a little bit of cleaning, a few storage bins and a few tricks to keep everything in rotation, refrigerator organization can be a reality. From stackable storage bins to giving the kids space all their own, we’ve got 11 organization tips to help you get the job done. Keep reading to see them all.

Start with a clean space and adjust your shelves.

iStock

Take out all the food, and clean your refrigerator. It’ll give you the chance to throw away things you don’t want, and you'll be able to visualize the space. Also, make sure your shelves are set up at the right levels to maximize your fridge space.

 

Use clear storage bins.

If you can’t see it, you might forget about it. Knowing what's in your fridge helps keeps things in proper rotation. Plus, with clear food storage containers, it's more likely you'll want to keep everything straightened up. This set of six can be used in the refrigerator or freezer!

Put the same type of food in the storage bins.

Make sure all your fruits, veggies, meats, cheeses, snacks and condiments are in the same place—it's a simple way to keep things organized.

Label everything.

Knowing where things go is an important part of fridge organization, and labels will help make this happen. Get a label maker or invest in a Cricut.

Buy plastic bottles for your sauces and condiments.

All your condiments will be the same size, which makes it easier to keep the side shelves of your refrigerator tidy. We like these bottles for their flip tops.

Put a Lazy Susan in the fridge.

You’ll be able to easily access food this way, instead of having to dig to the way back of the fridge. You can buy them just about anywhere, and we love this one that includes a non-slip mat.

Buy stackable storage bins and use drawer organizers for the veggie bin.

The Container Store

You’ll be able to take advantage of vertical space that doesn’t get used very often, as well as free up shelf space for smaller items. We like these stackable wine holders from The Container Store. You can also take your fridge organization one step further by creating separate spaces for different vegetables by installing these drawer organizers.

 

Create a snack section just for the kids. 

You can organize all day long, but when kids rummage through the fridge for food, you can bet everything will be in disarray in no time. Give kids a specific area for their own snacks, so they know where to go every time.

 

Create an “Eat Me First” bin.

Be sure to have this bin be right at the front of the fridge, so the items that need to be consumed will be visible to the whole family. You can download a sign to use by clicking here! 

 

 

—Gabby Cullen

 

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As I work to raise my kids, I often think back to my mid-20s when I started entertaining the idea of ever having children.

I remember deciding I would be more of a mentor than a parent. I told myself I would never take any shortcuts. And most hilariously of all, I thought I would never ever allow my child to throw a tantrum.

But most of these ideas came back to bite me when I became a mom. On one occasion, I even found myself standing in the middle of the grocery store, watching in horror as my 3-year-old had a (very loud) public meltdown.

Unfortunately, that was far from the last time something like that happened. But, since then, I have managed to learn about the reasons my kids were having tantrums. And, more importantly, my partner and I found a few good ways of fixing the issue.

What Are Tantrums or Acting Out?

Before I could start looking for ways to prevent my kids from acting out, I had to understand what the concept meant in the first place. According to most sources, it’s an exhibition of improper behavior or unrestrained actions. It’s also usually caused by emotions that have been suppressed or that have not been acknowledged.

Basically, children act out to reduce stress. It’s their way of showing emotions that have previously been hidden. And the best way to prevent it is to address these stressors directly.

The following are the things we focused on while attempting to prevent major tantrums.

1. Their Needs Are Unmet 
When trying to figure out why our older child was acting out, this was the first thing we looked at. After all, don’t we all get a bit cranky when our basic needs aren’t met?

Young children aren’t always capable of voicing their needs. Instead, they act out (like when they need to pee but are shy to tell us.)

We have a couple of strategies in place to prevent tantrums caused by unmet needs:

  • Have a few healthy snacks on hand
  • Make up for missed sleep
  • Have a strict “pee before we leave the house” policy

Of course, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t any mishaps. But at least we’re doing our best to prevent unnecessary stress for everyone in the family.

2. They Are Afraid
Children have fears that they grow out of in time (like monsters or men with beards). These are usually caused by something they have seen, read or heard, and can cause them to act out. When this type of thing happens in our family, our strategy is always to have a conversation around it. First, we try to identify the fear. Then, we do our best to dismantle it.

One of the essential things about addressing tantrums caused by fear is that we have to stop ourselves from dismissing our children’s fears. Yes, they may seem irrational to us. But, for a child, they can be perfectly reasonable.

3. School-Related Stress
One of the more recent episodes in our household just happened to be around my oldest’s exams. At first, I was baffled as to why he would be acting so uncharacteristically. Then, it turned out that his behavior was stress-related.

Children who are ambitious and want to do well in school often get very stressed out about their exams. This, in turn, will cause them to act out at some point. However, they may not even be able to identify exam stress as the cause of their mood. They’ll just know what they feel like without realizing the reason behind their feelings.

When exam season approaches, we’ve found that the best thing to do is attempt to relieve some of the stress our child is experiencing. We try to give him his space, accept that he may have a shorter fuse and try not to add fuel to the fire by asking too many questions about his study habits.

4. Not Understanding Limitations 
With our younger child, the cause of his tantrums rarely seemed to be that he was sleepy or stressed or afraid. Rather, it was that he had to understand the logic behind everything. And if he didn’t, he just wouldn’t obey, and he’d carry on doing his own thing.

With him, our main method of fixing the problems relied on “learning lessons.” If he wanted to do something, it was never enough just to say no. We had to explain the logic behind our rules in a way he could accept.

So the reason for not being allowed to eat chocolate after bedtime wasn’t that mom and dad said so—it was that he had already brushed his teeth and eating food could lead to tooth decay and (potentially) painful visits to the dentist.

5. Being Overcontrolled 
Finally, when our kids throw tantrums or act out, it’s not a bad idea to reflect on whether their behavior is caused by something we’re doing as parents.

Children who feel they are being controlled too much and have no way to assert themselves will often act out. And we parents often run a very tight ship. Or we may simply be imposing expectations that are too high for our kids. When this is the case, they might decide that lying or hiding certain behaviors is the best course of action.

If we find that we are a bit too strict, it’s completely fine to loosen up a bit. After all, perfection is impossible. And expecting it from our children is unfair and stressful—both to them and to us.

Children will be children, and they will naturally act out to test their boundaries and to learn more about life. When they do, attempt to work out the underlying cause of their behavior. Then work on that, as opposed to fixing the mere superficial behaviors.

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Holly Schaeffer is a long-time writer focusing on health, lifest‌yle, and home improvement. Originally from New Jersey, she moved to California to pursue a degree in creative writing. She now spends her days split between writing and raising her two young sons.

Disney recently announced the upcoming release of a brand-new short from Pixar Animation. Based on Tina Fey’s sarcastically witty soul 22 from the 2020 animated hit flick Soul, the short explores the meaning of life and more!

The prequel to Soul, titled 22 vs. Earth, tells the tale of soul 22 and her attempt at a rebellion in The Great Before. Instead of entering Earth, 22 has other things in mind—namely staying exactly where she is.

photo courtesy of Disney/Pixar

Not only does 22 refuse to go to Earth, she teams up with five other new souls to rebel against the rules. 22 vs. Earth director and 21-year Pixar veteran, Kevin Nolting, said in a press release, “While making ‘Soul,’ we talked about the why of a new soul not wanting to live on Earth, but it didn’t ultimately belong in that movie.”

Nolting added, “22 vs. Earth was a chance to explore some of the unanswered questions we had about why 22 was so cynical. As a fairly cynical person myself, it felt like perfect material.”

22 vs. Earth will stream on Disney+ starting Apr. 30!

—Erica Loop

 

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Photo: Cara Maclean

It’s Spring, the weather is warmer. It’s the time when people start venturing out more, especially after this last year! My little family hops on our mountain bikes and finds some hills to ride. Last weekend, we found a perfect spot for the boys to ride that’s fun for us too. I’m not the best rider, but I’ve improved over the years. I know enough to shout reminders at my kids, which I’d probably do even if they didn’t need it. I’m sure I’ll learn to keep more to myself when they’re older and let them blissfully take risks as I silently cringe. As I watched my kiddos zip around corners and zoom along the trail, it occurred to me that these biking reminders apply to life as well.

The consequences are different, but the reminders are equally helpful. You won’t be careening off a cliff or ending up in the weeds. At least, I hope not. You could, however, end up in a life you don’t enjoy or in a seemingly inescapable slump. No bueno.

To improve the flow of mountain biking (and life), remember these three things:

1. Look where you want to go!

If you’re looking at the scary obstacles, or down the edge of a cliff where you could plummet to your death, you’re more likely to go there. Keep your sights on where you want to go, especially around the curves. When things change direction slightly, it’s easier to lose focus or control. That’s the time when it’s most important to keep your sights on where you want to go. Eyes up!

2. Get some speed for the obstacles, then you’ll flow right over them!

Going over rocks, roots, and bumps are harder on the way up because you’re going slow. Once you get stronger, you’ll be able to go faster and roll right over the obstacles. No need to go crazy, but momentum keeps the flow going. You won’t even notice the little problems (bumps) along the way because your momentum will carry you over them easily. Same in life. If you’re not taking much action toward your goal, the problems seem insurmountable. Once you start taking action, you get stronger, and those little bumps aren’t a big deal anymore. You know you’re strong enough to handle them.

3. You’ve got to work a little at first to enjoy the fun that comes next! 

When we first attempt any kind of incline with our boys, we get a fair amount of whining. (I’ll admit, when I first started biking, I whined just as much. Who enjoys biking up hills? My husband. 😬) Whining doesn’t help get you to the top, so I do my best to cheerfully get my kids to change their perspective. It’s not that you have to work yourself into the ground by working hard, but there’s always hard stuff! You’ve got to pedal those legs, take action, and make the uncomfortable stuff part of the fun. It makes you stronger and you learn to enjoy the entire journey, not just the endpoint.

Sometimes when we achieve goals it feels anticlimactic. We don’t take time to celebrate the achievement; it’s on to the next thing. If you enjoy the whole ride of life, not just the easy stuff or the successes, then you honor the whole experience. You celebrate, learn, and enjoy the whole trip. What journey are you on right now that you could celebrate more? Maybe grab a bike, go for a ride, and think about it!

 

Cara Maclean, Wellness Coach & Writer, works with moms to undo what keeps them exhausted. We cultivate the calm, joyful energy needed to handle any challenge with humor and grace. Author of Just the Way It Is: A Look at Gifted/2e Families, Spring 2022, GHF Press. Learn more at CaraMaclean.com

Social media is like riding a bike—just make sure you give your child a helmet, knee pads, training wheels, and a whole lot of instruction.

I’ve researched the dangers of social media, including conducting a study on recruitment into sex trafficking through social media. Yes, social media can be very dangerous—particularly with little supervision. So, most are surprised when I allow my children, at age 10 and 11 to use social media instead of waiting for the more accepted age of 13. Before getting all judgy, hear me out.

When the magic age of 13 hits, there is a lot that is going on with your child. Developmentally this is the age when children seek independence, crave having their own space, rely on friendships over family, value privacy and may even dabble in rebellious behaviors. This happens whether we want it or not—they are hardwired for this—it is part of their natural development.

If social media is introduced during this time, parents may have a hard time monitoring, exploring together and many children will attempt to push boundaries. In contrast, my 10 and 11-year-old still find me tolerable, and even (dare I say), cool on some days. They still feel close to the family, eagerly share about their school days, and have a healthy fear of the world. I know that in a couple of short years, that could all change and I may miss my opportunity to lay down some critical groundwork in their ability to safely navigate social media.

So, to their surprise and excitement, we embarked on the ride of social media together—equipped with training wheels, knee pads, a helmet, and strict instructions on where and when to ride the bike. We started off slow, I instructed them along the way, I was there to caution them, I let them have some independence, we processed any mistakes they made, they were aware of the dangers and trusted me to guide them. We also have a lot of fun—I have my own Tik Tok account, we watch together, I try to dance, they are embarrassed by my comments, I learn about their friends, and I have valuable insight into their life. They also know the stakes—any purposeful wrong move and the bike goes in storage.

I know that by the time they are 13, when I ever so slowly let my hand off the back of the bike seat, they are equipped with the knowledge to steer independently.  While I will always make them wear the helmets of parental control, time limits, and privacy settings, I will take off the training wheels and knee pads and trust that the practice we have had will keep them safe.

So, if you get a disapproving glance or are questioned “Your kids are on Tik Tok?” just say “Sure, it’s just like riding a bike.”

Hello!  I am a mom to three children, ages 11,12, and 20 and happily married to an awesome guy!  Professionally, I am a psychologist and Life Coach, and founder of Brave Embrace, a practice focusing on female empowerment.  We are a sports-oriented family and enjoy learning, growing, and laughing through every opportunity!  

This past year has been the hardest yet for our family of three. No secret to the masses, this worldwide pandemic has been an intense, devastating wave. It has caused stress (like for millions of others) financially, as we rely on just one income. It has caused anxiety, and frustration and the feeling of loneliness. The feeling of being trapped and secluded. And it has caused the world death, and despair and heartache. We all know someone who has been affected, in one fashion or another.

But when you think of who has been hit the hardest, for many, special needs children are nowhere on that radar. I feel it impossible to describe the emotion behind watching your child be seemingly forgotten. Day in and day out in the last ten plus months, I have watched my child slowly regress. Autism winning, taking hold of his world, and ours, with no way to stop it. This grows apparent with every skill that has been lost and had to be relearned from previous years; things like simply staying seated, or throwing things away properly.

We have seen more compulsive behaviors like hoarding and hiding items (of no known rhyme or reason) under beds, and couches, and in drawers. We’ve witnessed it in sleep, as Beckett seems to need/get fewer and fewer hours of rest in, with each month that passes. We see this in every meltdown induced by simply having to leave our home (for any reason). Many days, Beckett does not want to be away from his safe space. His bubble. And every red light, every turn, every stop causes a tense meltdown.

And on that same token, visitors, family, they are no longer “welcomed” in our home with his sweet smile and overjoyed personality. But rather, with tears, and frustration, and hands leading them back to the front door, in an attempt to get them to leave. It’s evident in meals, as Beckett’s food list grows smaller yet, though we have tried hard to push new things. There is just too much “new” occurring for him in the day-to-day. And all the while, I still have to keep up that same previous, consistent fight, for him to be truly seen.

There are no specific protocols put in place for children like mine, on the spectrum, and with various other special needs. There is no change made just for them, to keep them excelling, or even just to keep them from backpedaling. Nothing to keep them grounded, in a world turned upside down. Where is their assistance when schools and centers close their doors? Where are they to put their trust, when instructors leave them to their devices, to attempt to learn “like everyone else”?

My son’s mind craves stability and schedules. His body needs consistency and routine. While all the world is going on to “Plan B” with online educating, and rotating schedules, children just like mine are forgotten in the shadows. Forced to magically transform, or “sit tight” and ride out the storm. How is my son to survive a world in crisis, implementing the very structures that push every “fight or flight” mode in his body?

With all my might, I will push to be the brightest beaming lighthouse he needs, to navigate this life, but I am just one light in this dark, wide ocean.

This post originally appeared on To Infinity & Beyond Words.

BriAnna is a stay-at-home mom to her Disney loving, son Beckett (5), and wife to her Navy  Veteran husband, Cameron. Beckett is Autistic and non-verbal, so BriAnna created her page, "To Infinity & Beyond Words" to shine a light of love on their world of special needs. Their family of three call Nebraska home, and call themselves blessed. 

Inclusion. Quite possibly the most important piece of raising my child. What does that word even mean? It means a variety of things to a variety of individuals of course, but in its entirety, it means to be included by a group of people.

For my son, Beckett, what does that look like? You may think: “He doesn’t want to be around us. He doesn’t want to be included, Bri.” You may mean well. But my job as his mother, and a good human, is to educate and to advocate. To be his voice. So I’ll tell you, that in that instance, you would be wrong.

My son wants to be included, just like anyone else. He may need breaks. He may need some pauses of quiet, and solitude, and peace, just like anyone else. It just may be a bit more frequent for him.

He may not want to play cars, or house, or video games with your children. But he wants to be near them. He wants friends. He wants respect. He wants to be seen. A perfectly reasonable, unspoken request. That everyone deserves. Regardless of ability. Breaks are okay. Patience is necessary. And so is inclusion. More than anything.

For someone to say “Beckett, what are you watching/reading/doing? That’s neat! I’ll just sit by you if that’s okay.” That would mean the world. To him. To me. To attempt to enter his world, with no expectations or rules, but to just want to “be” with him. To know him is to love him. And I know that without a doubt. He undoubtedly makes this world brighter. A bit louder. A bit more unpredictable. And whole lot happier.

If others could look past the differences in “labels” placed across our chests (whether it be autism, or things like anxiety, depression, or the thousands of physical disabilities faced), and include all, this world would be a much better one. We’d have cracked “the code”, ‘round the globe.

I won’t stop fighting for my son, and all others like him, to be included. To be valued and not simply “tolerated” until I’m no longer here.

This post originally appeared on To Infinity & Beyond Words.

BriAnna is a stay-at-home mom to her Disney loving, son Beckett (5), and wife to her Navy  Veteran husband, Cameron. Beckett is Autistic and non-verbal, so BriAnna created her page, "To Infinity & Beyond Words" to shine a light of love on their world of special needs. Their family of three call Nebraska home, and call themselves blessed. 

See the Transformers like never before. Netflix and Hasbro, Inc., in partnership with Rooster Teeth, today released the final main trailer for Chapter One of the highly anticipated Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy which premieres on Netflix on Jul. 30. The Series raises the stakes of the Autobot and Decepticon war with Chapter One having six, twenty-two minute episodes, complete with a new animation look and style. 

Transformers

Chapter One, Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy: Siege  begins in the final hours of the devastating civil war between the Autobots and Decepticons. The war that has torn apart their home planet of Cybertron is at a tipping point. Two leaders, Optimus Prime and Megatron, both want to save their world and unify their people, but only on their own terms. In an attempt to end the conflict, Megatron is forced to consider using the Allspark, the source of all life and power on Cybertron, to “reformat” the Autobots, thus “unifying” Cybertron. Outnumbered, outgunned, and under siege, the battle-weary Autobots orchestrate a desperate series of counterstrikes on a mission that, if everything somehow goes right, will end with an unthinkable choice: kill their planet in order to save it.

Voice talent includes Jake Foushee (Optimus Prime), Jason Marnocha (Megatron), Linsay Rousseau (Elita-1), Joe Zieja (Bumblebee), Frank Todaro (Starscream), Rafael Goldstein (Ratchet), Keith Silverstein (Jetfire), Todd Haberkorn (Shockwave, Red Alert), Edward Bosco (Ultra Magnus, Soundwave), Bill Rogers (Wheeljack), Sophia Isabella (Arcee), Brook Chalmers (Impactor), Shawn Hawkins (Mirage), Kaiser Johnson (Ironhide), Miles Luna (Teletraan I, Cliffjumper) and Mark Whitten (Sideswipe, Skywarp).

More details regarding Chapter Two, Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy: Earthrise and Chapter Three are coming soon.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Netflix

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Is your game closet looking for a refresh? You’re in luck because Hasbro just released the latest version of Monopoly, Monopoly: Ghostbusters Edition!

The updated board game lets players travel through New York City in an attempt to win Ghostbusting contracts. The new version has a fresh game board and artwork based on the original Ghostbusters movie.

Perhaps one of the best new features are the brand new tokens, which include filmed-themed gadgets such as the PKE Meter, Proton Pack, Janine Menitz’s glasses, Ecto Goggles, a radio and Dana Barrett’s Cello. This edition also includes Roaming Vapor cards, as well as Supernatural Entity and ECTO-1 and Entity spaces on the board.

The game will be available at most major retailers this weekend for $29.99.

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of Hasbro

 

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