ML Interest Tag: authority-figure

Is Day Camp Possible & How Do I Choose the Right One?

By Liz Kimmelman
Partner Content

climbing day camp

Hey friends parenting during a pandemic,

I see you. I see you working hard to get your kids on Zoom school. I see you being creative with all the “celebrations” that we worry our kids are missing. I know how tough being a parent during the last 12 months has been. I’m here to throw you a lifesaver and reward you for all your hard work. I’m here to tell you about day camp for this summer.

Day camps, like Tumbleweed Day Camp in Los Angeles, are the antidote to the fear, isolation, and anxiety that are wreaking havoc in our families. Camp can cure these challenges, almost instantaneously.

How does going to day camp fundamentally combat anxiety, isolation, depression, and sadness? So glad you asked. There are 5 things that summer camps offer as fundamental experiences and are critically needed for children now more than ever. There is one prerequisite to going to camp this summer, however: you and your family have to be comfortable with some amount of risk. We’ll dive into how camps are creating incredibly safe (but not sterile) spaces for kids this summer, but I would warn anyone against being persuaded to attend camp if they aren’t ready. The safest thing you can do is stay home.

Being Outdoors

This is exclusive to in-person programs—you can’t get this on zoom. Not only is vitamin D and fresh air good for your health, observing nature can help grow your brain. Day camps are experts at playing and exploring outdoors, implementing nature-based programs that your children will love.

Being Active

Physical activity has often been touted as one of the most important ways to ward off anxiety and depression. Your child probably has not been as active as they might have been during a traditional school year—no PE or sports or recess. Camp provides opportunities for all sorts of physical activity.

Being Social

Maybe the most important of any of these fundamentals is that camp, most of all, is all about being social. There’s problem-solving, friendship-making, risk-taking, building mastery, making choices and so much more. By being in-person and having shared experiences, campers can begin to regain the social skills needed to be happy people.

Being around Other Caring Adults

You have heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” —well, that’s because we are not meant to raise children alone! Having my daughter interact with a different, caring authority figure changed the way that she interacted with me. Our kids need different types of leaders and communicators; they need to see younger adults in positions of care.

Unplugged

You know how you feel after a day of zoom calls and staring at your phone? Your kids do, too. Get them out of the house, off the screen, and into real life. When no one is using a device, it’s cool to be offline.

“Sure it’s fun and good for their mental health, but are day camps safe for my kids?”

Summer day camp is not only safe, but it’s also going to save your family this summer. When I’m talking to parents about how to choose an in-person program for their child—or when I’m looking for my own children—I use these published findings from the American Camp Association to guide my decision. When camps, like Tumbleweed, implemented several important interventions like mask-wearing, physical distancing, outdoor space, and small groups, only 0.1% of all people (staff, campers, volunteers) contracted COVID-19. It’s all about the layers of safety—there is no silver bullet to having safe, in-person programs. Camps that are successfully running are using these interventions to mitigate the spread of COVID-19:

Masks on Everyone

Correctly fitting facial coverings have proven to be one of the most important interventions camps can use in combating the spread of COVID-19. All staff and all campers should wear a face covering at all times (there are some exceptions like eating and napping). And can I just say—masks at camp are not a big deal! The campers, my kids (ages 3 and 5), the counselors do not notice. Everyone would much rather be wearing a mask and be at camp than not be there at all.

All or Almost All outside

Science shows that being outdoors dramatically reduces the spread of COVID-19. When looking for in-person opportunities for my children, how much time they spent outside was almost as important as physical distancing.

Physical Distancing in Place All the Time

A great camp will figure out how to adjust their program so that they can maintain physical distancing recommendations as often as possible.

Consistent Groups

If we are trying to keep COVID out of camp, we need to decrease the number of humans coming into camp. Look for a program that has campers in the same, small group with the same counselors for the duration of the camp session—no mixing, no “drop-in” programs.

Community Norms

If counselors and campers go home at night and throw the rules out the window, none of your safety policies matter. Ask the director how they ensure that campers, counselors, and families are upholding safety norms inside of camp and outside of camp.

Bonus: They Ran in Summer 2020 & Are Still Running Now

Camps that ran during the summer of 2020 and are still in program now, are up-to-date with all the restrictions and protocols. And they know what their community is up to. Look for a camp that’s ramping up for Summer #2 of COVID safety, rather than one that’s figuring out how to reopen for the first time.

Moral of the story: treat yourself, treat your family, and send your child to day camp this summer.

I'm Liz - mom of two, wife of one, and small business owner. I live in Los Angeles but hail from the North East. I like dancing while washing the dishes, listening to my kids laugh, hanging out at breweries with friends and going to baseball games with the husband.

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5 Ways to Combat Bullying at School

By Lori Orlinsky

School is right around the corner, and with the fun and excitement of any new environment with school-aged children comes the threat of bullies. Statistics show that 160,000 kids stay home from school each day to avoid being bullied. While most schools have a zero-tolerance policy in the handbooks for bullying behavior, it is important to teach your children what to do when they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation at school.

1. Walk Away: Oftentimes, bullies engage in negative behavior because they are seeking attention. Rather than breaking down in tears or firing back insults, tell your child to simply walk away. Explain to your child that by walking away, your child takes control of the situation and removes the power from the bully.

2. Keep Calm and Carry On: If your child does not feel physically threatened, encourage them to take a deep breath, use body language to show they are not afraid (stand tall, make eye contact) and ask the bully point-blank to stop.

3. Remove Yourself from the Situation: If a bully is always lurking around by a specific lunch table or in a hallway, avoid that area or take a different route. As long as your child isn’t going out of their way to circumvent the bully, avoidance is a pretty easy rule of thumb.

4. Adopt the Buddy System: There is safety in numbers—two or more friends are less likely to be picked on than a child who is alone. Remind your child to stay with a buddy who they feel safe with throughout the day, or where bullying situations may occur.

5. Report the Behavior to a Trusted Adult: Whether it is a teacher, school counselor, administrator or another adult who works at the school, encourage your child to speak up to someone they can confide in. Many times, children worry about being tattletales (which would give a bully more ammunition), making it important to empower them to have a conversation with an authority figure in private. Nowadays, the words “I am being bullied” carry an immediate call to action, where a grown-up should intervene immediately.

Additionally, when it comes to bullying prevention, it is key for parents to empower their children at an early age to be comfortable in their own skin. Prior to the start of school, consider reading a picture book together that promotes self-acceptance. Many times, these books help to open the dialogue between a parent and child in a subtle way about an issue they might face, and how they’ll handle it.

Lori Orlinsky is a Chicago-based mom of two little ladies. She is the author of “Being Small (Isn’t So Bad After All),” a children's book available to order now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Barbara's Bookstore and in select stores nationwide. 

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5 Ways to Combat Bullying at Summer Camp

By Lori Orlinsky

Summer Camp is right around the corner, and with the fun and excitement of any new environment with school-aged children comes the threat of bullies. Statistics show that 160,000 kids stay home from school each day to avoid being bullied, and sadly, bullies do not take summer vacation when the school year is over. While most camps have a zero tolerance policy in the handbooks for bullying behavior, it is important to teach your children what to do when they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation at camp.

Walk Away: Often times, bullies engage in negative behavior because they are seeking attention. Rather than breaking down in tears or firing back insults, tell your child to simply walk away. Explain to your child that by walking away, your child takes control of the situation and removes the power from the bully.

Keep Calm and Carry On: If your child does not feel physically threatened, encourage them to take a deep breath, use body language to show they are not afraid (stand tall, make eye contact) and ask the bully point blank to stop.

Remove Yourself from the Situation: If a bully is always lurking around by a specific lunch table, avoid that area or take a different route. As long as your child isn’t going out of their way to avoid the bully, avoidance is a pretty easy rule of thumb.

Adopt the Buddy System: There is safety in numbers—two or more friends are less likely to be picked on than a child who is alone. Remind your child to stay with a buddy who they feel safe with throughout the day, or where bullying situations may occur (the bus, restrooms, etc.).

Report the Behavior to a Trusted Adult: Whether it is a counselor, camp director or another adult who works at the camp, encourage your child to speak up to someone they can confide in. Many times, children worry about being tattletales, which would give a bully more ammunition, which is why it is important to empower them to have a conversation with an authority figure in private. Nowadays, the words “I am being bullied” carry an immediate call to action, where a grown-up should intervene immediately.

Additionally, when it comes to bullying prevention, it is key for parents to empower their children at an early age to be comfortable in their own skin. Prior to the start of camp, consider reading a picture book together that promotes self-acceptance, like “Being Small (Isn’t So Bad After All),” a book I wrote for my own daughter who was teased because she was the shortest kid in her class. Many times, these books help to open the dialogue between a parent and child in a subtle way about an issue they might face, and how they’ll handle it.

 

Lori Orlinsky is a Chicago-based mom of two little ladies. She is the author of “Being Small (Isn’t So Bad After All),” a children's book available to order now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Barbara's Bookstore and in select stores nationwide. 

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These 5 Practical Tips Will Help Your Blended Family Adjust

By April Sutphen

Blended families bring their own set of rewards and challenges. It’s not always easy to seamlessly meld two families together, especially when children are involved. If you’re currently in a relationship and either yourself or your partner have children, there are some things to keep in mind when introducing your children and preparing for a life together. Here are some suggestions for making the transition smoother for all those involved.

Have Realistic Expectations

This relationship or marriage is not the same as any other relationship or marriage you’ve had before, so don’t try to make it something that it’s not. Embrace and acknowledge the uniqueness of your new family.

Everyone wants to have a “big happy family”, but it’s important to understand this transition will take time, especially for the kids. A great way to establish a good relationship between stepparent and child is to focus on individual relationships. Try to set aside individual time with each stepchild. During this time you can get to know them, what their interests are, and establish open lines of communication. Approaching each child as an individual makes them feel special. It also shows that you care about them and their feelings.

Be sure not to push too hard. If the stepchild isn’t interested in spending time alone with you just yet, try to respect their space and boundaries. Let them know you’re available when they want to talk, but don’t force the connection.

Involve the Children in Decision-Making

Of course, at the end of the day, you and your partner are the parents. I’m not suggesting you give complete control to the children or allow them to dictate your lifest‌yle, but there are ways to involve them in the process within reason and parental guidelines.

If you’re looking to purchase a home with your new partner, allow the children to come along while house-hunting. Listen to their opinions and concerns. If there are ways to accommodate their feelings without compromising your own, that’s a great place to start. Let the child pick out which bedroom they want or what color they want to paint it. Just be careful not to overcompensate. Feelings of guilt could result in compromising the parent-child roles. Remember, you’re still the parent.

If you and your new partner plan to marry, include all the children in the wedding ceremony. There are so many creative ways of doing this. The children can be at the wedding party or speak at the reception. You can set aside a special time during the ceremony to acknowledge the children. Use wedding sand to show two families coming together as one. Sometimes, stepparents give their stepchildren a small token of their affection, along with a card or verbal expression of their love and excitement over becoming a family.

Understand Your Role

Though you are a parent to both your biological and stepchildren, it’s important that you and your partner discuss parental roles beforehand. Some parents don’t want their new husband or wife reprimanding their child. But in the same turn, your stepchildren need to respect you as an adult and authority figure.

It’s not always easy to parent your partner’s children. We’re all familiar with the phrase, “You’re not my real mom/dad.” This is a tough situation to overcome, but it is possible.

Make sure that you and your partner have a mutual understanding of how discipline and rules are established in the household. All rules should be the same for both sets of children. Don’t argue or debate in front of the children. This shows uncertainty. You and your partner need to be a united front when it comes to parenting. If you aren’t happy with the way your partner reprimanded your children, speak about it in private, where the children can’t hear you. Communication in this situation is imperative.

Use Team-Building Activities

Team building activities are a great way to connect people, and they aren’t just for the office! Plan outings, events, and activities with your blended family that require you to work together, but be sure to make them fun! If you force the family into an activity they don’t want to do, you won’t get the result you’re hoping for.

Hiking is a great outdoor activity that the whole family can enjoy. Teamwork comes into play when reading the trail maps and even navigating the pathways. Help one another and call out if there are rocks, tree limbs or other obstacles up ahead.

Family game nights and daily outings offer similar benefits. Any time spent together participating in structured activities can be an opportunity for building bridges, getting to know one another better and connecting.

Be Patient

This might be the most important component of a successful blended family. The adults involved need to have patience with the children and their individual needs as they adjust to this new situation. Stepparents need to respect the child’s biological parents as much as possible. Perhaps the children are a little less open following a weekend visit with their parent. Try to understand these feelings and approach the child with care.

Don’t expect change to happen overnight. Like anything else in life worth having, creating a blended family that works will take time. And remember that every situation is unique and special, so embrace your blended family’s individuality. It really is a beautiful thing.

Featured Photo Courtesy: vborodinova via Pixabay

I am a 32 year old mother of a son and wife to an officer. I am honest about both the love and struggle of parenting. I enjoy being active and writing is my passion, second only to my family.

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Our Favorite New Parenting Books to Read Right Now

by rtlauraserino

If your copy of Happiest Baby on the Block is in tatters from all the late-night reading, it might be time to refresh your nightstand. We’ve collected our favorite new releases on the topic of parenting, from laugh-out-loud funny memoirs to new disciplinary methods. Check them out below.

1. Is That The Shirt You’re Wearing? A Memoir in Essays

Over the course of two summers, Kristen Hansen Brakeman decided to journal the details of the small moments as a mom and writer. This memoir is both relatable and funny as if you’re sitting on a porch and shooting the breeze with a best friend. Kristen reminds us of the complications that come along with being a mom, wife, and woman in today’s society. The results? Much like motherhood, it’s a funny and beautiful mess.

Available at amazon.com, $18.

 

2. The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups

Today all parents struggle with how to raise our kids in a fast-changing, increasingly anti-social society (Raise your hand if you’ve let your toddler play with your iPhone in exchange for five minutes peace.). Leonard Sax’s latest tome is a reminder on how to be an authority figure at home while encouraging kids to stay, well, kids. It’s a must-read for any fans of Sax’s books Boys Adrift and Girls on the Edge.

Available at amazon.com, $12.

 

3. Man vs. Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting

Warning: Do not read this book in public if you’re prone to snorting. From comedian and actor Doug Moe, this is a laugh-out-loud take on being a new Dad and juggling all that comes with it, from navigating restaurants with a baby to handling full toddler meltdowns. It’s a fun read for any parent but is especially poignant for new Dads.

Available at amazon.com, $10.80.

4. Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional Connection-Not Punishment-To Raise Confident, Capable Kids

When it comes to raising obedient, disciplined kids, shouting and shaming are unnecessary parts of the practice. Sarah Ockwell-Smith introduces new approaches to setting boundaries that instead focus on emotional respect and on building connections between kids and adults of all ages. Bonus: You may never use a “time out” chair again.

Available at amazon.com, $9.90.

5. Raising Royalty: 1000 Years of Royal Parenting

We can’t all have a baby nurse or nanny to handle every dirty nappy unless you’re raising your brood in a castle. Carolyn Harris gives us an intriguing look at over 1,000 years of raising monarchs, and how it has changed over time. One key takeaway? Not even the royals have it figured out.

Available at amazon.com, $23.

6. The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

Parents that have read this guide call it transformative (just check out the Amazon reviews). Author Shefali Tsabary, P.h.D. reminds us that parenting is as much about ourselves as it is about our children. This manual to modern parenting has a focus on parents and how our expectations on our kids can cause more harm than help. It’s a book filled with “a-ha” moments and guaranteed to be chock full of highlighter-worthy passages that might just change how you parent.

Available at amazon.com, $14.

 

7. Sleepless Nights and Kisses for Breakfast

This Italian bestseller is finally available in the U.S. market, and nothing is lost in translation. A micro-anthology of moments and memories from a work-from-home father raising his three daughters in Verona, Italy, it’s also a beautiful homage to marriage and raising children together. Regardless of what country you’re raising a family in, this memoir by Matteo Bussola reminds us that all the struggles and moments of beauty are universal.

Available at amazon.com, $12.

 

8. Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters

Any parent knows that the struggle between staying home and heading back (so soon!!) to work is real. Erica Komisar, LCSW offers guidance on choosing the right childcare and making the most out of moments with your child during the first three years of life. She also practical approaches for everyone from stay-at-home to career-oriented moms.It’s an excellent read for moms that are constantly juggling a career and parenthood.

Available at amazon.com, $17.

9. The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed

When you think about toddlers, are they really any different than zombies? They all stumble around, drool and generally keep you living in fear. This survival guide from funny husband-wife duo Mike and Heather Spohr covers everything you need to know in case of an invasion, from subduing an angry tot to venturing out in public. A great gift for the stressed out (and slightly terrorized) toddler parent.

Available at amazon.com, $12.

What would you add to the list? Let us know in the Comments below!

— Laura Serino

 All photos courtesy of Amazon

Feature photo: Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash

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