Having a kid who loves animals doesn’t mean that you are destined to clean up dog hair all over your house for years to come. There are plenty of ways to get hands-on experience with animals from volunteer opportunities to programs like 4-H that teach animal husbandry along with leadership skills. Find our favorites below!

Build a butterfly garden.

NHM

Butterflies are more than just beautiful insects with wings: they play a vital role in the production of flowering plants which means without butterflies many, many plants would not flower, fruit and seed. Give these jewel-toned pollinators a place to call home no matter how much space you have. We have all the info you need to build your own butterfly garden here

Volunteer your time as a citizen scientist.

iStock

Did you know that you can donate your time to help scientists study all of the living creatures in your area? Kids make great citizen scientists as they can use their observational skills and learn about plants and animals that live near us. SciStarter has a great search tool where you can look for projects that need volunteers in your area. Search for stinkbugs in your back yard, head to a nearby water source and listen for frog mating calls and collect samples from your backyard to send to scientists. What a great way to learn and give back! 

Join your local 4-H organization.

Kate Loweth

Not just for farm communities, 4-H organizations are a great way to get hands-on experience for kids who love animals. Whether you want to learn about chickens, bees, goats, pigs or other animals, 4-H has a program for you. Kids learn about animal husbandry by learning what makes specific breeds special. Best of all, you often don't even have to keep your 4-H animals at your own home as they can stay at the 4-H farm. The program is also great at developing kids as leaders as it is fully youth-led. Find a 4-H club near you

Volunteer at your local animal shelter.

iStock

Do you have an animal shelter near you? Often times kids can volunteer as play partners to shelter animals when a parent comes along with them. Looking for another way to help out? Shelters often need blankets for incoming pets as well as food and other supplies. Consider running a supply drive in your neighborhood or school to contribute that way! 

Offer to walk your neighbors' dogs.

A Latinx family cuddles with their dog on the couch
iStock

If you want to get your "dog fix" without the commitment of owning your own mutt, see if any neighbors are looking for a dog walker. Often older individuals would love this opportunity to give their animal some exercise and you can have fun teaching Fido some new tricks while you're at it! 

Stay the night at a farmstay.

Mimi O'Connor

If you've always wanted to wake up with the chickens, book a weekend at a nearby farmstay. These cozy cabins come with loads of opportunities to interact with animals and farm-fresh eggs for your breakfast. 

Get the kids started with composting.

antrania via pixabay

Composting teaches kids to be environmentally conscious and it's also a great way for them to learn all about the tiny critters like bugs and worms that make our dirt what it is. If they really get into worms, try vermicomposting!

Try a small animal instead.

Kate Loweth

Small animals teach kids a lot of the same skills that they can learn from having a dog or cat like being responsible for another creature's needs. Bearded dragons, hampsters and even backyard chickens are a great way to satisfy a child's want for a pet with much less work on your part. 

—Kate Loweth

RELATED STORIES

How to Plant a Butterfly Garden No Matter Where You Live

Signs Your Kid Is Ready for a Pet (According to Experts)

19 Amazing Animal & Insect Books for Kids

Here in California, we are back in a semi-lock down. It’s not quite as intense as it was back in the spring, but our parks are closing and the overall message is STAY HOME! Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m 100% on board with this plan. Our ICU’s beds are filling fast and I want as many people to stay safe and healthy and I will do everything I can to ensure not just my family, but our entire country stays safe. This is truly a “We’re All in This Together” moment—thank you “High School Musical.”

But, that doesn’t change the fact that I am sad—sad about plans that won’t come to fruition, sad for plans I hadn’t yet had time to make, sad that I really can’t change anything about our current Groundhog Day situation.

I had a really great idea to do a bunch of outdoor socially distanced experiences for Chanukah this year. No gifts, just quality family time at the Oakland Zoo Glowfari and other really awesome outdoor exhibits! Well, that’s canceled. We also were hoping to go camping over the holiday break. (Yes, we live in California where you can camp in December). We love camping and we love going on outdoor adventures and under the current restrictions, that is not allowed (except in our back yard).

Back in the spring, I felt like every day I would wake up with a new thought about something that I won’t be able to do or that I can’t make happen for my family and it caused this constant low-level melancholy. So, this time around, I am trying something new. I am going to actively say goodbye to future planning and expectations. Yes, folks, I am going to journal!!!! Let me be clear, I am not a journal-er. It is not in my DNA to open a beautifully bound notebook and write out all of my thoughts. All the power in the world to those of you who do that daily. My hat goes off to you…but, it hasn’t been, until now, for me.

So, I think I am going to take a page from my kids. I will be drawing, doodling, painting my plans, and drawing my expectations in stick figures and cartoons with the sophisticated medium of crayons and magic markers. But, every day, instead of waking up to low-level melancholy, I am going to make a little piece of art that represents something I would like to be able to do, but can’t. I will use the time while I am creating to say goodbye and let go of looking ahead. By letting go of expectations, I’m hoping to remind myself of the beauty of right now and living in the moment. Anyone want to join me on the “goodbye and let go” journal project? Find me on insta @creativparenting for more information. This is a grand experiment. I would love to know if it works…for you and for me!

Nina Meehan is CEO and Founder Bay Area Children's Theatre and the host of the Creative Parenting Podcast. An internationally recognized expert in youth development through the arts, Nina nurtures innovation by fostering creative thinking. She is mom to Toby (13), Robby (10) and Meadow (5).  

   

America’s largest urban forest is located right in Portland families’ back yard, and it is a gorgeous place to be through the autumn months. Located in the heart of the city, Forest Park is brimming with colorful hikes for local families to explore. With almost 100 miles of trails within the park, your crew can hit a different trail each week throughout the fall months. Read on to find our pick of the best Forest Park hikes for families.

Shea R. via Flickr

1. NW Skyline Blvd to BPA Road (2 miles)
This relatively effortless, two mile Forest Park hike is easy to access from NW Skyline Blvd. from BPA Road. Here, look for the signs for Firelane 13 to reach the flat, lookout area with picnic tables. Don't forget to pack in your lunch to enjoy from the overlook! On a clear day, you can even spot Mt. Rainier and Mt. St. Helens.

Ages: Appropriate for all ages (you can even take baby in a backpack carrier)

2. Lower Macleay Park to Pittock Mansion (5.3 miles)
The hike to Pittock Mansion from Lower Macleay Park is a bit of a climb (an elevation gain of nearly a thousand feet), and is more difficult in nature at 5.3 miles round trip—but this hike has it all! You'll find street parking near the park entrance on NW 29th and Upshur, plus the park has picnic tables and restrooms. The hike itself is parallel to a lovely gurgling river bank, and the trail is paved. A highlight is the mysterious Stone House, for a fun photo op, where you can either opt to return on the Wildwood Trail or soldier on. If you opt to continue, you'll ultimate reach Pittock Mansion, with stunning views of the city that are sure to impress along this Forest Park hike.

Ages: 6 years and up

3. Lower Maple Trail Loop (3 mile loop)
From Hwy 30, turn on to Saltzman Road, and follow the winding residential road up to the top. Now, follow the Saltzman Road trail head to the Maple Trail, then go right on the Leif Erikson Trail. Return to the beginning via Maple, and you'll have taken one healthy, three mile loop. While the directions may sound complicated, it's a fun quest and sign exploration game for older children to participate in, plus they'll love the forested paths with birds, slugs and bugs. (Don't forget your bug spray!)

Ages: All ages

Emily U via Yelp

4. The Big Stump (2 miles or 6 miles)
Turn on to Old Springville Rd. from Skyline Rd. to reach the parking area and Wildwood trail head. There, you'll follow Fire Lane 7 to the the Hardesty Trail, reaching The Big Stump (which is exactly what it sounds like—kids love it!). To return, either follow your inbound route, or if you're feeling very ambitious, opt to loop to the Wildwood Trail, then Ridge Trail, back to Fire Lane 7. Depending on your course, this will take you either two miles and less than two hours, or a few more hours to do the six mile loop.

Ages: 2 mile loop is appropriate for all ages. 6 mile loop is best for 7 years and up.

5. Audubon Society Hikes (1-5 miles)
If you have a novice avian expert in your family, check out the Audubon Society of Portland at 5151 NW Cornell Rd. From here, you can take an easy, 1.3 mile stroll from the Founders Trail to the North Collins Trail to hear and view wild woodpeckers and over 40 species of other birds. The 150 acre nature preserve surrounding the Audubon Society has four miles of hiking paths, plus onsite restrooms and a store to pick up a birding guide. 

Ages: All ages

6. The Wildwood–Newton Loop (1 mile)
Last but not least, your little tree hugger will love the Wildwood Trail! This round-trip loop is about a mile and easy enough for smaller legs. From Skyline Blvd, turn on to NW Newton Road and park. Then walk right on the first path, to the Wildwood Trail. From here, head south on Wildwood. To return, take a right onto Fire Lane 10. Along the Wildwood Trail, you'll find a hollowed-out tree that little ones will love to tuck inside for a fun photo.

Ages: All Ages

 

RELATED STORIES

The 6 Best Hikes for Families in Forest Park

Portland Kids: Explore Sauvie Island 

Try it Out: Super Nature Adventure Keeps Portland

Photo: Tara Williams

Just six short months ago it was unfathomable that we would be working from home while trying to juggle distance learning and taking care of babies. The reality of COVID-19 sticking around a lot longer than we thought is starting to set in for most people. I remember my naive, mid-March self thinking; by May 1st kids will be back in school and all will be right again in the world.

Prior to the global pandemic, I was a full-time mom and the sole full-time employee at Dreamland Baby. I was juggling four kids’ schedules but we had a really good routine and the kids were in school for 6 hours a day. My baby was still young enough that he was taking a super long day nap or would hang out next to me while I was working.

Fast forward six months and now I have a kindergartener, first grader and second grader who are all doing distance learning from home and a two and a half year old who literally does not stop talking. I’ve had to adjust, hire help and add a weekly “mom’s night off” to get me through. I want to share my top four sanity tips for working from home with kids.

Tip 1: Ask for help, hire help, just get help.
You guys, I was drowning. It was mid July where I hit my working-from-home mom rock bottom. While on the 10,000th Zoom call of that day, my 7 year old daughter walked in and was trying to ask me something. I was doing the hand wave to have her get out but she wasn’t listening. She kept talking and I kept waving. Realizing this wasn’t working I decided to shut off my Zoom camera and scream, at the top of my lungs, “GET OUT!” This wasn’t just any scream it was animalistic, like my throat actually hurt after. I immediately sat down, put a half smile on my face and put myself back on video. I saw a stunned group of faces and someone asked; everything OK over there? I hadn’t muted myself. I called a nanny agency and we hired someone the next week. Recognizing when you need help is critical.

Tip 2: Keep a morning routine.
This is something I swear by religiously. Prior to taking time to making this practice a core part of my day I would stay up late, then sleep in and be woken up by my children every morning. This sounds terrible but I use to dread hearing their voices in the morning while I was trying to get just 10 more minutes of sleep. My problem was always going to bed too late. I got on track by taking melatonin every night for two weeks until my body was use to going to bed at 10 p.m. I need a full 8 hours of sleep (my husband jokes my ideal sleep pattern is 10 hours) so knowing I couldn’t comprise on the number of hours I had to find a way to go to sleep earlier. Now I wake up, take 10 minutes to pray, write in my notebook the top three things that need to be accomplished that day and what I am grateful for, take a green shot, drink a glass of water then get a 30 minute work out in. My kids wake up right about this time and I am able to greet them, feeling happy and accomplished. We eat breakfast together then I shower and start my work day at 9 a.m. Having a morning routine sets the tone for my day, prioritize my goals, and dramatically increase work productivity.

Tip 3: Set work limits.
Being an entrepreneur (I am the Founder of Dreamland Baby) can lead to working endless hours. There was a time I use to work all day Saturday and Sunday but the burn out was real and finally had to cut back to just Monday-Friday. I am still guilty of working crazy hours during the week but trying to be better about setting and end time to my day and actually sticking with it.

I see this with my husband and my friends who traditionally worked in an office. You get in at 9 a.m. and you leave at 5 p.m. and you leave your work behind. Well now your work is inside your home. My husband’s work station is set up inside our bedroom. There are so many nights we are winding down and relaxing but instead of spending time with me he drifts back to his “office” to finish up one more email. It is tempting to keep going but ultimately you are doing more harm than good if you don’t take a break.

Tip 4: Don’t forget to be social.
Having a solid social life might feel like a thing of the past but if you put it as a priority and effort you can make it happen. I am naturally extroverted and love getting together with my girlfriends. When I have a few hours away from my home, laughing and connecting with friends I come back a better mom, wife and more productive in work. I live in California and we began shelter in place very early. I was basically inside my home from March to July. I was going a little (or a lot) stir crazy. I asked my husband if I could have one night off during the week that was a “me” night. I let all my girlfriends know and now we have a girl’s night out every Wednesday. We do things like walk the neighborhood, meet for dinner outdoors or just hang out in someone’s back yard and chat. If you aren’t in a place where you can meet in person, try a weekly zoom call with friends. It has been so nourishing for my soul and ultimately makes me such a better employee because I am shutting off my work brain and just having fun for a few hours every week.

Tara met Rob after a career move to the Bay Area; they’ve been married for almost 9 years and have 4 children. Tara worked for a number of medical startups before creating wearable weighted blankets for infants. Tara launched Dreamland Baby in 2019 and adoringly refers to it as her 5th baby! 

“If I do it, can I play Xbox after?”

“Is everyone doing it?”

“Can you just do it since you’re better at it?”

So would begin the litany of questions when I assigned my sons even the most basic weekend chores. Whether charged with watering, dusting, or raking, the boys inevitably would whine, slump their shoulders and feign sudden, fretful bewilderment. “How do I know which plants need water?”  “What’s a Swiffer?” “We have a shed?”

Truthfully, my children were not sparing me much labor by pitching in. I cannot count how many times I would stop what I was doing to liberate an area rug being swallowed by a vacuum or to rescue a vase perched a micrometer from a mantel’s edge. Still, I soldiered on, determined to instill in my kids a strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility. Each weekly outburst, though, stoked simmering doubts that my mission was succeeding.

Then one dreamlike Friday the tables turned.

My seven-year-old announced that he would need to finish his science fair project over the weekend. With a toothy smile, he turned from my husband to me and with complete sincerity asked, “Who wants to help me?” I waited for him to appreciate the irony.

Though that night did not afford our family any lessons on paradoxes, it did produce our new favorite tool for a stress-free weekend: The “Help Wanted Bulletin Board.” Our family has found this device to be most valuable when used in the following way.

  1. The “Help Wanted Bulletin Board” is literally a bulletin board that hangs next to our refrigerator, the most visited spot in the house.
  2. Throughout the week, each member of the family takes a piece of paper, jots down a chore they anticipate may require assistance and pins it to the board. Each person posts two jobs in total.
  3. The activities must be reasonable in scope. Our family defines “reasonable” as any task that can be performed by any family member in one hour. Jobs have included cleaning out the toy chests, skimming the pool, practicing math facts, and weeding the back yard.
  4. All requests should be posted by Friday night.
  5. Although everyone peruses the job postings throughout the week, no one commits to any until Saturday morning. At that time, each member of the family signs their name onto two posted job requests. I have found that my boys have a greater sense of control and approach their responsibilities more eagerly when they can select their jobs. To that end, the adults choose last so that the kids have more tasks from which to pick.
  6. All jobs must be completed by early Sunday evening. The job solicitor and the job assistant decide together when they will work to complete the assignment.
  7. When a job is done, the posting is crossed out. I am still amused by how triumphant the boys look when they do this, but I also understand that the “x” is tangible proof of their success and a validation of their work.
  8. Finally, right before bedtime on Sunday night, we gather at the bulletin board and review what our family accomplished. Each job solicitor thanks his or her assistant, and it is impressive how much goodwill is fostered before our children retire for the evening.

Ending the weekend on a harmonious note is but one benefit of this approach to chores. Others have followed. With the board sitting in plain view every day, my sons understand that the weekend will bring housework. This visual reminder allows the boys to prepare mentally for chores. By eliminating any surprises, the board has reduced much of the whining in our house.

Though household duties are still inevitable, they no longer feel arbitrary. The board lets my children consider how they will contribute in the days ahead. They have developed a sense of ownership by having a say in what they do, and this autonomy has fostered pride in their work.

Each family member appreciates the support they receive while simultaneously feeling good about helping someone. There now exists a feeling of our family operating as a team. We enter the weekend knowing that someone has already offered to help us. What’s more, no one is shunted off to a corner of the house to work alone, as sometimes would happen before we used the board. Instead, each of us enjoys companionship while we work. More than once my kids have spontaneously offered up stories about what is happening at school while occupied with sweeping or washing dishes beside me. For me, these unprompted talks are the happiest consequence of the way we handle housework now.

My kids now take time to discern which of their own tasks they can do by themselves and which are best suited to a team effort. Subsequently, they have become more transparent about which responsibilities they find difficult and which they just do not want to do.

Finally, the “Help Wanted Bulletin Board” reinforces the notion that everyone needs help. Often children are told at school or at home that asking for help is not a flaw, but an asset exhibited by strong leaders. The “Help Wanted Bulletin Board” reinforces this sometimes-challenging idea. Each day it literally shows my boys that even the “oldest and wisest” can seek support and even the smallest and youngest can provide it.  

 

This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy.

I spent many joyful years in education, but I made the difficult choice to leave the classroom to focus on my children and my writing. I recently published a short children’s book, Many Miles to Walk, an extended conceit written for my younger son to explain his birth via surrogate

“Do you want to do the scavenger hunt?” said the woman with a nametag that read “Peggy” at the gate of the botanical garden. It was a loaded question. Just an hour earlier, I had exploded in rage over a jelly jar abandoned on the counter yet again with its top off and its inside salaciously visible. The rage, which was less about the crime than the five months of quarantine, propelled us all out of the house and into the car to a botanical garden over 100 miles away where Peggy was asking a rhetorical question.

Of course we wanted to do the damn scavenger hunt.

Our family of four got in the car with no real plan but to get away from the place with the topless jelly jar and endless bad news about a modern-day pandemic. Home was the place that kept us safe and captive but we needed to go somewhere—anywhere. Then came the sign for the botanical garden, lit up like a beacon of hope.

The first person in our family to find all of the items will receive a sticker, Peggy explained.

“I will give you a clue,” she said to my kids. “One of the plants you will be looking for are epiphytes. Epiphytes are plants that do not need soil to grow. You will find them mostly in the greenhouse.”

We thanked Peggy and walked toward the greenhouse, a COVID-19-friendly building with a roof, but no walls, which made me wonder out loud if the building were more a green canopy or pergola. My son walked ahead of us, shoulders squared.

“You lied,” I heard him hiss under his breath. He is 8 years old. Tall for his age, so strangers often think he is older. In early March, his friends at school started playing a game of tag called Coronavirus in which an infected person would chase down its victims. The infected would fall to the asphalt and lay still until the playground became a sea of prostrate little bodies.

When the world was still normal, my son asked a question I did not yet know how to answer: Will the real virus kill a lot of people?

Without really thinking twice I said no. It is not something he needed to worry about.

I lied.

Five months later at the botanical garden, when Coronavirus was claiming many lives, my son was not calling me out on my blatant flouting of truth about the virus, but about a truth I told him when he was 5 years old: all plants need water, sun and soil to live.

That year, we sprouted pinto bean and watched green leaves unfurl from the beans and tendrils of roots lengthen into curly tufts. The sprouts need soil, I explained while we dug our fingers in the black earth in our back yard. In went the sprout and little hands pushed soil around it.

Early one morning, I found him in the back yard watering the sprouts in his Star Wars fleece pajamas, soaked from the knees down. He was, back then just as he was March, taking me at my word and trying to maintain a balance based on fallacies. Not all plants need soil to live and the Coronavirus has really taken a whole playground full of lives.

The name epiphyte is derived from the Greek words epi which means “on top of” and phyte or plant. It’s nickname, “air plant,” suggests a meager existence. Take away soil and epiphytes can grow on top of other plants deriving nutrients from air, water and dust.

My kids’ lives are built on a foundation of well-intentioned lies, rosy explanations of scary truths that gently take them by the chin and turn their eyes away from anything that threatens their innocence. I have long seen my role as a parent as a gatekeeper that dilutes bad news. By turning their gazes away, I heroically save their senses of safety in their own home, school and skin.

But the pandemic has revealed me. With its insidious reach, it has shown how I try and fail to protect my kids. How when I filter out the scary parts of life, I also surgically extract their sense of understanding and tolerance of real-life events.

In the second week of March, when their schools closed, I said it was temporary. Then when their schools said they would finish out the year at home, I turned their attention to all the scientists working on a vaccine. We placed all our hope there.

On his wall calendar, my son circled the first day of school in the Fall with a red Sharpie. As he saw it, being a third grader marked his official transition out of being a little kid. Third grade classes are located upstairs with other upper grade classes.

The night before the jelly jar spurred our family into a fugue state, I told my son he would not be returning to school on the date he circled on his calendar.

He stood in the living room with feet rooted to the floor. His little sister danced around him. The dog nudged up against his calf, but he remained still. Then he asked me a question I was better prepared to answer.

“We won’t be going back to normal in December, will we?”

I caught the impulse to lace my response with a silver lining. The gatekeeper in me, so fatigued by absorbing the influx of bad news, relinquished her post. Instead of standing in front of my son, I stood next to him and cried.

Turns out the transition to being a big kid does not depend on physically ascending two flights of stairs in school. It’s the abrupt end of accepting a mother’s filtered words as truth.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know.”

I move closer behind my son in the green pergola. Once hope is removed, we stop living for one day. We accept the right now.

We can live off of dust and still live.

 

Lynda is a creative person, a wife, a mom and half a CrossFit athlete. Just half, because rope climbs suck. Despite the shiny veneer, the cracks in her identity make her marginally okay. 

Up your game for your next family movie night and make it a drive-in theater. Your littles will love the view from the seat of their own tiny car (or tricycle or scooter) in your living room or back yard parking lot. Ready to ride? Scroll down to get everything you need to throw your own Drive-In Movie Night.

Tickets

Sweet Daisy Designs

Don't let your kids sneak into the theater without a ticket, so make one up or use this easy printable.  To make things even more authentic, be sure to punch their tickets with a hole-puncher before starting the movie.

A Set of Wheels

photo: Holly Hopson

You can't have a drive-in movie without something to drive. So let your little cruisers bring their wheels inside. That's right: Line up the big wheels, the trikes, and the push-cars in front of your movie screen and let your kids watch the movie while they scoot back and forth in their "seats." (This idea is especially amazing for kids who aren't normally allowed to bring their wheels indoors).

 Or, Make Some Wheels of Your Own

photo: Kara/ Simplistically Sassy

Want something even cooler (and more Pinterest-worthy)? Gather up cardboard boxes and make mini cars for your guests. Let your kids paint and decorate their cars themselves, and you've got a full day's worth of activities! Get the instructions from Kara at Simplistically Sassy.

A Projector (DIY Your Own if You Don't Have One)

An outdoor movie screen and decorations are set up as part of an outdoor movie theme birthday party idea for kids
iStock

Sure, you could just pull up a movie on your flat-screen TV and call it a day. But if you want to really wow your kids, give them an even bigger screen by projecting the movie on your wall (or on a sheet tied up on the wall). Don't have a projector on hand? Try this awesome way to turn your smartphone into a projector for under $1!. It's true, you won't get as good of a picture as you do on your plasma, but who cares? Your kids will be sufficiently amazed at your homemade movie magic.

Essential Snacks

iStock

Movies are nothing without popcorn and other goodies, so don't forget to stock the concession stand with all their favorite eats and treats. Make this custom cardboard snack tray for your kids to hold their items (or just use plastic shower caddies from the Dollar Store!). To make sure they don't go totally overboard and grab four pounds of peanut M&Ms, give them tickets or coins so they can only "buy" a certain number of items. Also, try a unique popcorn recipe instead of the microwave version. 

Last, But Not Least, the Movie

iStock

There are tons of great family movies to choose from, and we've got a few great roundups to help you make a choice. We've got 17 family movies that celebrate diversity, the ultimate list of films kids need to see before they're 12, the best movies of 2020 (so far), and even a great list of educational movies for kids.

Melissa Heckscher

RELATED STORIES:

21 Ways to Host an Outdoor Movie Night

This Is How You Host a Movie Night for Kids

17 Family Movies That Celebrate Diversity

The Best Movies of 2020 (So Far)

Warning: These Classic Movies Include Racist Stereotypes

Photo: Melissa Heckscher

Dear Teachers,

I just want you to know, there are days when I want to give up on this whole “distance learning” thing.

There are days that I want to close my eyes and surrender—to let my kids plug themselves into Youtube or Xbox or whatever device they’d rather watch instead of doing schoolwork. Because seriously: Getting my 8 and 10-year-old boys to focus on school (while my gleefully unoccupied 5-year-old daughter frolics around the back yard belting out Frozen 2 songs) seems close to impossible.

But I don’t give up. You know why?

Because you don’t.

No, every school day since this whole “Shelter in Place” thing started, you’ve been there. In fact, I’ve mapped out our daily schedule based on what you’ve laid out for us: Zoom meetings in the morning; art in the afternoon; read-alouds at lunch. You give us someplace to “go.” Thank you for that.

I know it can’t be easy. For one, you’ve managed to get whole classes of kids—and their parents—proficient at Zoom. That alone is an accomplishment, but it’s not all you’ve done: Along with knowing how to navigate his Chromebook like a pro and type 54 words per minute, my second-grader can now put together a Powerpoint Presentation better than I can. That’s all you, Teacher. Thank you.

And don’t think we don’t realize how much time you’re spending on us. You’ve shot videos, sent lesson plans, hosted Zoom meetings, given advice, and offered extra help—even while some of you have your own children needing your attention, too (I’ve seen you calmly tending to your kids mid-Zoom, Fourth Grade Teacher, and I just want to say you’re amazing).

You’ve spent your nights reading and reviewing kids’ work—scouring endless pages of Common Core math problems, grammar sentences, essays and tests—even when you have your own families to care for.

You’ve dealt with us parents, answering what must be an onslaught of e-mails, despite the fact you’ve probably already addressed all said concerns in previous e-mails or Google Classroom posts. (Sorry about that. )

You’ve worked hard, even when you were tired. You’ve kept going, even when you were drained. You’ve navigated this strange remote learning world, even when you weren’t sure whether you were doing it right. (You are!)

Most importantly: You’ve shown up for my kids with the same loving-but-“Let’s get down to business” attitude they’ve known all school year—even as the weight (or loneliness) of working from home amid a pandemic has become so big you’ve probably felt like you can’t always carry it.

But you can.

I can.

And the kids certainly can.

So that’s why I keep going. Because how can I tell my kids that I can’t handle this when you’re handling it tenfold (24-fold, to be exact)?

How can I tell my 8-year-old I don’t have the energy to homeschool when you have the energy not only to corral a roomful of Zoomed pre-tweens into silence—but also to ride your bike past the home of EVERY SINGLE CHILD in the class just so you could give them a smile in person? (Seriously, thank you for that.)

How can I tell my 5-year-old I can’t give any more of myself when her preschool teacher just opened up her own back yard for scheduled, unlimited solo visits to her trampoline?

You, teachers, amaze me.

And while you may not be getting the hand-painted “Thank you” signs or live-streamed TV specials that are being given to the pandemic’s “front line” workers, you are just as valuable.

And so I want to take this opportunity to tell you:

You are our anchor.

You give us a routine when everything else is so enormously outside that routine.

You make things feel normal when everything else is so far from normal.

You keep us going.

Thank you, teachers, for everything you do. We love you.

In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, join us in putting “Thank You Teachers!” signs in your window this week. 

Melissa Heckscher is a writer and mother of three living in Los Angeles. She is a former staff writer for the Los Angeles Newspaper Group and the author of several books, including,The Pregnancy Test: 150 Important, Embarrassing, and Slightly Neurotic Questions (Quirk Books, 2011). 

The loss of a loved one can feel like the end of the world, especially for a child. By helping your child grieve, your child can build a new normal life, one where happy memories exist with the hope for brighter days.

Young children need to know that if they have lost someone close, be it friend, pet or family member, it is okay to feel upset and miss the person they are grieving. And, in the days that follow, it is okay to once again feel happy and to enjoy life as their loved one would have wanted for them.

6 Tips for Helping Children Grieve

Acknowledge your child’s grief. It is important to recognize that your child is grieving. Be careful not to impose your own grief on your child, but rather allow him or her to grieve in his or her own way. It is normal for children to feel a variety of feelings, including sadness, anger, and fear. Parents might worry about their children when they go from one feeling to the next, but experts assure parents that children will grieve as much as they need to, as long as they are allowed to do so.

Be honest and explain the loss. It is important to present the news in a straightforward manner with age-appropriate information. Children may have difficulty processing lengthy explanations, but they do need facts. Something as simple as, “Uncle Joe’s heart stopped working yesterday which made his body stop working. Older children will need more specific facts, such as the name of an illness. Remember to stay focused on this one incident and provide frequent reminders that you are ok.

Share Memories. Find ways as a family to remember your loved one. Perhaps it’s something that’s visible on a daily basis, like planting a tree in the back yard or creating a special picture book all about Uncle Joe, or sending off balloons once a year—anything that connects your family to your loved one who has passed.

Write about the Experience. One way to help children move past their grief is to have a parent or an adult write down the experience of hearing the loss so that the child does not have to relive it all of the time. Many times, children (and adults) are afraid and nervous that if that don’t relive the moment of death, they will forget it. By having something to reflect on, they will always be able to remember the experience and therefore be able to move forward.

Allow Children to Participate: Engaging children in the planning of activities can help them feel connected to what is happening around them. Let them talk about it. Children need to have the opportunity to put their feelings into words. They may be anxious about the safety of other loved ones or themselves. Or they may be feeling guilty about times they weren’t nice to the deceased, or sad thinking about opportunities they missed to show affection. They will do better if they can express their feelings to those who can provide the reassurance they need to heal.

Provide Resources: Consider turning to activities that you can do as a family to help with the grieving process. These may include reading children’s books like “A Tiny Step Forward,” or watching movies. Connecting with characters or hearing another expert’s perspective may help them feel less alone in the experience. During the healing process, they will likely realize that this everyone will go through the loss of either with a pet or a loved one.

 

 

 

A mother of five children, Charlene’s husband passed away suddenly when their youngest child was only three years old.  Khaghan has a master’s degree in special education and LMSW in social work.  She currently works as a therapist in a university counseling center.