Keep your little one in good spirits right through New Year’s Eve with these relative wrangling, calendar managing, baby prioritizing tips

The holidays can be a magical time, especially when there’s a brand-new little one to share in all the sparkly joy. But when too many seasonal happenings pile up on top of baby duties, your stress levels can get dialed up to 11, making the magic feel more like madness. To help you pull off the perfect balancing act of keeping your sanity and making precious new memories, we came up with a list of do’s and don’ts for your baby’s first Christmas.

1. Do take lots of pictures. You’ll delight in looking back at the shots of your bundled-up little one exploring their first snow day or banging away with their first dreidel.

2. Don’t feel pressure to make a big holiday meal from scratch. Unless you adore cooking and wait months for the chance to roast a turkey, this may be the year to order a pre-made meal or host a festive potluck.

3. Do respect your baby’s schedule. If your little one has settled into a routine, staying up late for too many nights can lead to joy-smashing meltdowns. Whenever it’s possible, keep up with nap and bedtime routines, and you and your little one will be well-rested and ready for holiday adventures.

4. Do take advantage of all the relatives’ love. If Aunt Jeannie wants to hold the baby for a few hours, it’ll give you the perfect opportunity to shower or take a walk. For many modern parents living far away from extended family, the holidays are the only time to have a village of support, so make the most of it!

5. Don’t be afraid to say no. If you’re too tired to go to midnight mass or attend however many holiday parties, skip it. Feel free to make liberal use of your awesome excuse: I just had a baby. The holidays are no fun if nerves are frayed and little ones are wailing, so throw out the rules and preserve a little space for rest.

6. Do take time to fit in something special to you, whether it’s driving around to see holiday lights or devouring gingerbread men. If you have the energy, you can start a family tradition, like reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas by candlelight, but keep it low-key. You have many more holidays in your future to create new traditions with your wee one!

7. Do bring a carefully selected bunch of baby necessities along if you’re traveling, like a favorite blanket and beloved pacifier. Ask the grandparents to have all the other essentials ready when you arrive, like diapers in the right size, so you can settle right in and get to celebrating. As for how to handle flying with a baby, check out our helpful tips here.

8. Don’t feel compelled to take a long trip. If your little one is only a few weeks old, or you’re exhausted from balancing work and new mama-hood, celebrate your baby’s first Christmas at home. Keeping it low-key means instead of risking being snowed in at an airport with a newborn—you can schedule a family visit for another time with less pressure and less risk of airplane delays.

9. Don’t blow your budget on expensive gifts. Babies don’t need a ton of shiny new toys to unwrap–most are just as happy with an empty box and a classic wooden rattle. On the other hand, if you still need a few choice pieces of baby gear, like a jogging stroller, the holidays can be a perfect time to ask Santa to slip a little something under the tree for you both.

10. Do take walks in a winter wonderland. Bundle up and get outside. With a few extra layers, babies can marvel at the sparkling snow. Plus, a little fresh air keeps the cabin fever away.

11. Do remember that while this may be your baby’s first Christmas, it’s not the only holiday. You’ll have many years to introduce your kiddo to pumpkin pie and sleigh rides. Keep it simple and focus on what’s meaningful and what brings you and your family joy.

Make sure to capture all the memories—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

A Utah CEO has gone viral for his comments at a company meeting questioning whether full-time parents are being “fair” to their employers and their kids

Balancing work and family life is a challenge for basically everyone. But one CEO is going viral for his hot take that is decidedly not it.

James Clarke, the CEO of Utah-based digital marketing and technology company Clearlink, has made a ton of headlines for his comments during a meeting where he ended his company’s remote-first policy and demanded that all employees who live within 50 miles of a company office start returning to work on-site. But his reasoning for that decision is what has people shocked and angry—and for good reason.

In his remarks, Clarke seemed to question whether people who are the primary caregivers for their kids—calling out single moms specifically—are being “fair” to their employers and children.

“Many of you have tried to tend your own children and doing so [while] also managing your demanding work schedules and responsibilities. And while I know you’re doing your best — some would say they’ve even mastered this art — but one could also argue that generally this path is neither fair to your employer nor fair to those children,” he said. “I don’t necessarily believe that. But I do believe that only the rarest of full-time caregivers can also be a productive and full-time employee at the same time. You may take issue with any part of this but I believe that the data will also support this in time.”

Later in the call, he added, “That is not a criticism of the noble nature of motherhood, nor the ability to do both well. But there are only so many waking hours in each day.”

During other parts of the absolutely unhinged meeting, the CEO praised a female vice president at the company who had chosen to drop down to part-time work, once again suggesting that he doesn’t believe it’s possible for someone to both care for children and work full-time.

“It can be done, but it adds so much stress to a working mother’s life that I would never want to put that on anyone.”

As if that isn’t bad enough, Clarke also praised an unnamed employee who made the “heartbreaking” decision to sell the family dog so he could go back to in-person work.

The video has gone viral all over the internet, with basically everyone agreeing that this CEO is an insane person. In the age of rapidly rising costs, out-of-control inflation, and ever-widening income inequality, suggesting that parents just stop working because it isn’t “fair” to their employers that they might have other things on their mind is about as out of touch as you can be.

If you’ve seen the Netflix hit show Workin’ Moms, you instinctively know that star and creator Catherine Reitman doesn’t hold back. During a recent interview, she talked in depth about motherhood and the attempt to balance work and parenting her two sons, Jackson, nine, and Liam, six. “Being a working mother is impossible,” she said, and moms everywhere know truer words have never been spoken.

“I’m not angry at the question,” she told Romper of the age-old “how do you balance” inquisition every working mom eventually gets. “I’m angry at the answer, only because I don’t think it exists.”

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Reitman and the rest of the cast have made the first six seasons of Workin’ Moms a huge success. Since 2017, the series, which has been renewed for a (final) seventh season, hasn’t shied away from topics ranging from postpartum depression, marriage ebbs and flows, family leave, nuanced friendships, the mental load, and the politics of parenting. But Reitman made sure the show’s focus—for the most part—centered around the women’s careers.

“If you actually watch our show, the storyline percentage of us interacting with our kids is probably less than 20%,” she said. “This is really a show about women outside of their nurseries. It’s about women who happen to have the identity of mothers going after their dreams unapologetically.” It’s that unapologetic part that’s so important, because, why can’t we want more than one thing?

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“When we sold the show initially, my only knowledge of what this show could be with the identity crisis of the first time you returned to work after having a baby, that’s all I knew,” she continued. “And then, of course, as the show progressed, so did my children. Early on you’re dealing with the fellow mothers at Mommy & Me and your transition back into the workplace to now, oh my god, I’m dealing with principals of my kids who are currently in first grade and the realities of my children’s schedules are demanding more of me or less of me. It’s all these sort of natural flux of parenthood that goes as your kids get older.”

She also knows it’s the show’s honesty and rawness that’s connected fans of the show and leaves us wanting more. “This is why the show is successful: it’s not because I’m some person who understands motherhood in a more complex, interesting way than anybody else,” she noted. “It’s just like, of course, this is draining!”

Looking for a little Insta inspiration this summer? Ideas to get you out and about, exploring local attractions and little known spots? What better place to find ideas that go beyond the everyday than by following Boston influencers. Check out these Boston Instagram moms who are sharing everything from breastfeeding and sleep tricks to travel ideas and cool Boston spots that are worth a look. So grab your phones and get following. These moms have got what you need to find amazing new adventures with the kids this summer.

@domestikateblog

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Look to Boston mama Kate Bowler for entertaining inspiration of all sorts. Not only can she help anyone set the scene for a fabu family summer soiree, but she also shares reading lists, gardening tips and fun vacation ideas for New England families.

IG: @domestikateblog

@notquiteknockedup

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Fertility issues and a growing family are front and center of this honest Insta account where Colleen posts heartfelt quotes that make parents (and people hoping to be parents) feel heard, alongside cute pics of her kids.

IG: @notquiteknockedup

@pragmaticmom

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Bookworms of all ages can follow this account to find great new titles that focus on multicultural children's books. Live author events, books giveaways and more are all part of the experience.

IG: @pragmaticmom

@drchristinekoh

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Neuroscientist turned multimedia creative, Christine Koh posts about balancing work and life with absolute honesty. This Boston mom does it all. She's a writer, speaker, podcaster and Editor of Boston Mamas, too. 

IG: @drchristinekoh

@muchomasseblog

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Katricia is a mom of three, and we love following her family's adventures in Boston and beyond. But one of the best parts of her feed has got to be her shout outs to her husband and her creative baking ideas.

IG: @muchomasseblog

@nurturebynaps

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These two powerhouse mamas are both registered nurses, and they set up Boston NAPS to guide moms through pregnancy and beyond. You'll find their IG page full of tips and tricks for new moms and super helpful classes like pre-baby bootcamp. 

IG: @nurturebynaps

@sarahfit

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We love following Sarah Dussault for her fitness tips and glimpses into mothering three kids. Her blog has loads of pregnancy and postpartum info, and her fitness videos are the perfect way to exercise when you literally only have 10 minutes. 

IG: @sarahfit

@blovedboston

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Biana is a lifestyle blogger and mommy to Sophia and baby Mason who shares her life with us over on Instagram. You can also follow her wedding planning business at @bespokebostonweddings.

IG: @blovedboston

@elizaaustin

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Eliza Venn shares daily life with her cutie pie kiddos Norah and Henry. While her pics will brighten anyone’s day, parents who have partners that travel often will relate to this pilot-wife.

IG: @elizaaustin

@briannejohanson

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Brianne Johanson shares style, home & life moments over on her Instagram page. You'll find her sharing moments with her two kids, Crew and Saylor as well. 

IG: @briannejohanson

@ciaraclarkwellness

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Integrative Health Coach, Ciara Clark, shares healthy eating tips with a focus on plant-based diets, alongside oh-so-cute pics of her little one on this fresh feed.

IG: @ciaraclarkwellness

@jppilates1

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Pilates and Barre instructor Jennifer Phelan shares images of her life as a city-dwelling mom to two adorable boys. Hint: You'll also find fitness inspiration and tips while you're there.

IG: @jppilates1

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@lenize.fuentes

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Real life is shared by mom-of-three Lenize Fuentes including travel ideas, room refreshes and breastfeeding tips and tricks that we all need.

IG: @lenize.fuentes

—Allison Sutcliffe & Kate Loweth

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Photo: Kristen Wessel

The pursuit of balance is a neverending one for all moms, but it’s especially tricky for working moms. As a working mom, you know all too well the struggles and pressure that come with succeeding at work and at home.

Since 81.2% of mothers with kids aged 6—17 work full-time, many women struggle to balance family and work. It’s no wonder that, between work and family duties, working moms actually clock 98 hours of work a week. Even if you try to carve out time to connect with your kids, emails from work and anxiety about the workweek make it tough to enjoy this limited time with your kiddos.

Your family is starved for connection, but in a world where you have to give so much of yourself at work, it’s tough finding the time to be present with your kids. Instead of beating yourself up or thinking you’re a bad mom (you’re a great mom!), remember that you’re human. Try these 5 tips to be more present with your kids, enjoy more quality time, and pursue a work-life balance.

1. Put the Devices Down
I know, I know. It feels physically painful to mute work notifications or place your phone in another room. But if you want to be present with your kids, you need time away from your devices.

Just set aside 1-2 hours in the evening where you aren’t checking your phone. You’ll be amazed at how much time you can recover without the constant distractions! Device-free time also shows your kids that you don’t need to be glued to your phone 24/7. If you want your kiddos to spend less time in front of a screen, this tip will help you lead by example.

2. Prioritize 
The word “priority” is singular—that means you can only have one “most important thing” on your plate at a time. Trying to juggle work priorities and home priorities is just setting you up for failure and mom guilt!

Do you really need to answer that work email at the dinner table? It feels easier to just deal with work emails immediately as they come in so you don’t have to worry about them all night. But are low-value tasks worth sacrificing precious time with your family? Try to prioritize what needs your immediate attention. Unless a catastrophe is happening at work, get back to your email during regular working hours. Show your kids how important they are by making them your priority when you’re at home.

3. Schedule Regular Family Time
Sure, a schedule might take some of the spontaneity out of family time, but if you’re struggling to spend time with your kids, a schedule is a must!

You don’t need to play Monopoly with your kids every night. Just try to carve out scheduled family time once a week. That might mean doing Saturday family movie nights or going to the park on Tuesdays after dinner. It doesn’t have to be anything big—as long as you and your kids are spending time together, that’s what matters.

4. Eat Together
Hey, sometimes you’re going to grab Happy Meals on the way to soccer practice, inhaling a burger while you’re stuck in traffic. It happens. But if you’re at home with the kids, make it a point to eat dinner together at the table.

Eating dinner as a family leads to more emotionally resilient children and can even improve your kids’ performance in school. Just 30 minutes at the table together gives everyone a chance to talk about their day; it’s the perfect way to stay on top of what’s going on in your kids’ lives. And guess what? You don’t need to put together a gourmet home-cooked meal, either. Feel free to keep dinner simple, involve kids in the cooking, or pick up dinner on your way home. What matters is the time you spend together.

5. Connect With Your Kids
Despite what your moody teenager might say, your kids want to feel connected to you. Even on your most hectic days, saying “I love you” or “You are so special to me” or “I am so proud of you” goes a long way.

Take a moment every day to give your children these positive emotional connections, no matter how small they are. This shows your kids they’re valuable, models healthy relationships, and builds parent-child trust.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey. But in the hustle and bustle of daily work, it can be hard to find the time to connect with your kids. You probably aren’t going to achieve all of your goals every day—that’s okay! These 5 tips will help you manage your focus outside of the board room, connect as a family, and be more present with your kids.

RELATED:
How to Balance Work & Life in 2021
What I Didn’t Understand About Being a Working Mom Before I Was One
Dear Working Mom: I Don’t Know How You Do It

 

As a former Emmy-Award Winning News Anchor and over 10 years of experience in the news industry, Kristen prides herself on being able to tell great stories. As an expert in communications and mother of two, Kristen gives her tips and tricks.

 

As a working mom, there’s always the sense you can be doing more, whether it’s with your family or your career. At least, it can feel that way. The trick is to find a sense of balance that works for you. It’s a very individualized process and experience. One way of doing things doesn’t work for everyone.

Maybe if you work from home, on some days, you put the baby in the swing and do office hours that way. Then, once your baby is up from her nap, you let your clients or boss know that your office hours are over. For some moms, balance might be more about completely disconnecting from technology when they’re with their family.

The following are specific tips to keep in mind to have a sense of balance in your life as a working mom.

1. Talk to Your Boss about Your Schedule
If you aren’t already working from home some or all of the time, and your job would be something you could do remotely, speak to your boss. A lot of employers are more willing than ever before to go with flexible scheduling. Then, you can cut out some of the unnecessary elements of your day, like your commute, giving you more time to dedicate to the things that are important to you.

2. Organize Your Schedule
When you’re busy, and you feel like you’re juggling a lot, staying organized can help relieve some of the stress that might occur as a result. Create a family schedule and a work schedule, and post them both where the entire family can see them easily.That way, everyone knows what to expect and when.

3. Share the Housework & Outsource What You Can
Everyone in your family should be sharing in the housework. You don’t have to do it alone. Assign everyone in the house their weekly chores. Start teaching your kids how to do chores from an early age, so it becomes part of their routine. And if you can afford to, outsource some of these things as well, to give yourself a bit of time to relax when you are at home, rather than trying to get it all done. For example, maybe have a cleaner come a couple of times a month.

4. Stop Multi-Tasking
We’re trained to think multi-tasking is the most efficient way to do things, and the reality is that it’s not. When you’re trying to do multiple things at once, your attention levels are pulled in these different directions, and you’re going to end up being less productive.

Instead, focus on one thing at a time and give it all of your attention when you’re doing it, whether that’s related to work or your family.

5. Aim to Have Weekends That Are Completely Free 
Finally, your weekends should be a time of solace. Try your hardest during the week to get all of your work done, and also try to eliminate the number of chores and errands you have to do that are related to the household. That way, you can block out a period of time at the end of every week where you really can focus on being with your family. You can return to work on Monday, recharged and refreshed. Don’t let work or an overwhelming shuffle of errands and activities take over your weekends.

 

"Rae is a graduate of Tufts University with a combined International Relations and Chinese degree. After spending time living and working abroad in China, she returned to NYC to pursue her career and continue curating quality content. Rae is passionate about travel, food, and writing (of course)."

I write this in my basement, as my toddler and infant tromp around above me—all while trading childcare shifts with my husband because daycare’s out of session due to covid.

Clearly, the current era has been all about juggling. But at a time when it’s harder than ever to achieve balance in our work and home lives, striking some kind of peace treaty between work and home life is especially crucial. 

As the Millennial Money Expert at Fabric, a startup that’s a one-stop-shop for families and their financial lives, I speak to all sorts of parents. Between these conversations and the tenuous line I’m also trying to walk, here’s how I’ve been thinking about work-life balance in 2021.

  • Leave work at work, even if you’re now working from home: In practical terms, the best way to do this is to set aside a designated place for WFH-ing. If I try to work on my laptop at the kitchen table, I can guarantee that I’m going to be interrupted with a request to bake cookies (where did she get the impression that was on today’s schedule?), build a puzzle or help with the niggly parts of dressing a baby doll. Finding a work-only space can be difficult if your home isn’t giant or you don’t have a separate office. Still, even if “home office” means throwing on a winter coat and working out of the basement (ahem), it’s vital to have a designated space where you can concentrate—and where your kids understand that you’re off-limits. 

  • Set time limits on technology for your kids and yourself: When your top goal is to get your kids to be quiet long enough for you to get through a conference call, it can be tempting to plop ‘em in front of a screen. Likewise, when the weather’s cold and all the stores and restaurants are closed or potentially coronavirus-ridden, it often feels easier to tune out and tune into Netflix. I’m not here to take a stand on whether screen time is good or bad in general, but my own experience is that after a long day of screens, I often feel better if I can step away. Sometimes this takes the form of cooking and baking or listening to an audiobook. Lately, I’ve been rediscovering my crafty side by drawing kids’ books and puzzles for the children in my life. Whatever your release, try asking yourself: After the fact, which action will make me feel better about how I spent this hour?

  • Get your financial life in (better) order: With so much going on, dealing with finances and long-term planning can feel very stressful and overwhelming. But in a world of chaos, it can be reassuring to impose some order. Think about what tasks are on your financial and organizational to-do list. Which ones can you knock off between kids’ bedtime and your own? Start there. Whether you are a new parent or not, nows the time to think about the status of your life insurance, will, and college savings plans and update priority documents so you can relax a bit. 

  • Iron out a schedule with the people in your life: If you’re a single parent, this time is incredibly challenging. I hope you have other support systems in your life, like family and/or “learning pods” with friends’ kids. Whether your pinch-hitters include spouses and partners or grandparents and friends, this pandemic has gone on long enough that it probably makes sense to formalize your arrangements, if you haven’t already. If your kids are typically in school or daycare, what’s the backup plan for if and when they close for the dreaded 14 days for COVID? If you have a nanny, what’ll you do if they end up getting sick? If grandparents or other family members can help out, can they come on regular days each week?

This hasn’t been easy for any of us. I can’t pretend that work-life balance is going to magically fall into place, especially when it was hard enough previously, without a pandemic! But I know I’ll be taking a deep breath and thinking more consciously about how I can create the boundaries I need to maximize my work and family successes.

 

Allison Kade is Fabric’s Millennial Money Expert. She has written about parenting, money, travel, careers, and time management, for publications like Bloomberg, Forbes, The Today Show, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, and more. She is also a Pushcart Prize-nominated fiction writer. Follow her on Twitter @amkade.

More and more companies are committed to supporting their employees in working from home due to the pandemic and stay at home orders. This comes as a relief to parents with small children at home but it also brings new challenges to the workday. HeyMama and InHerSight conducted a study of 1,000 moms to discover the policies, resources, and support working mothers need from their employers, coworkers, and partners during the COVID-19 crisis as work from home policies continue. 

woman on laptop

Women are finding themselves working more, feeling less productive and are less satisfied with their jobs. While past studies have shown that remote employees are more productive than those who work in the office, it did not account for mothers homeschooling their children while keeping up with deadlines and other duties. 

The typical rules and results of working from home do not apply under these circumstances, so it is important for employers to consider how the pandemic is affecting their employees and reassess the expectations they have. 

The survey found that almost three in five working moms say they are less productive while working from home during COVID-19, yet two in five say they are doing more work. Additionally, nearly half of women who took our survey say they’re less satisfied with their jobs since working from home and taking care of children at the same time.

There is no denying that taking care of your children, along with having to educate and entertain them, is a full time job. Pair that with working from home and both will suffer. Moms working from home need more flexibility in both work hours and deadlines. 

“Flexibility has always been really important to women in general and moms specifically, as they try to balance work and life and make the best decisions for their families,” Ursula Mead, CEO and cofounder of InHerSight, says. “Throw in a pandemic and a lot of our day-to-day needs from regular, non-stressful times become that much more acute and critical.”According to our survey-takers, flexible work hours due to other demands on time and extended/flexible deadlines are the top two considerations they need from their employers.

If quarantine and social restrictions continue for the foreseeable future, working moms say flexible work hours are still a priority followed by paid time off and extended/flexible deadlines for work. 

“Flexibility can take a lot of different forms. It can be flexible work hours, deadlines, projects/assignments, or ways to use benefits and capital, and understanding the type of flexibility moms need as they work from home and during the pandemic,” Mead says.“Remember too that identifying your employees’ needs and supporting them is good for your business and your team’s morale and  productivity.”

Working moms also need their coworkers to understand that they have a lot on their plates right now. 

“While the current pandemic has been difficult for everyone, and people who cannot or choose not to have children are facing a slew of challenges, parents—seemingly overnight—became de facto teachers, helping their children navigate e-learning while simultaneously working, caring for any young children they may have, and taking care of their homes,” Katya Libin, CEO and cofounder of HeyMama, says. “Fifty-seven percent of mothers say COVID-19 has negatively impacted their mental health. While most parents cannot understand what it must be like to spend months on end devoid of any human contact—a reality for many single people who’ve been sheltering in place—those without children cannot fully understand what it’s like to lack any personal space or even a moment of solitude during lockdown, either.”

Mothers who are also business owners need their employees to anticipate needs and be proactive in helping out in order to keep the business up and running. 

“This is a large ask, especially if their employees are, like these business owners, parents,” Libin says. “Prior to COVID-19, 70 percent of mothers with children under 18 did paid work, and moms made up 47 percent of the workforce. In a country that has failed to provide mandatory paid leave, affordable health care, and ensure equal pay for equal work, asking employees to anticipate and preemptively react to the needs of their employer feels like a large request. But this need also speaks to the ways in which mothers who own businesses are not adequately supported. While it would undoubtedly be beneficial for these business owners to have employees who can read their minds, what entrepreneurial moms really need are systemic support systems at the local, state, and federal level. And, of course, another crucial part of any mom’s support system is her network of other moms—her community. Having access to other women in similar situations and stages of both life and career to lean on and turn to for advice cannot be underestimated.”

In general, women take on the bulk of child care duties. This is true even in households where both partners do paid work. 23 percent of working mothers want more help from their partners regarding child care. 

Mead says that for some women, this experience could be a wake-up call, “If they had an inkling that the distribution of work was ‘off’ or uneven in some way, working from home while juggling caring for the kids is likely going to be a reality check as women come to terms with the hard truth that the distribution of work at home is still far from equal.”

“[The balance of unpaid work] hasn’t changed in so many decades…or centuries even,” Mead says. “I think women don’t know how to make it change. The resources out there to get from the current distribution of work to a better place just don’t exist or aren’t meeting women and their partners where it’s helpful.”

Every working mother has different needs. The best way to know what types of support you can offer is by  asking and listening.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

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