ML Interest Tag: behave

15 Non-Cheesy Mantras That’ll Actually Shift Your Mood

by Amber Guetebier

Say it with us, “I’m going easy on myself today”

Parenting is no walk in the park, and sometimes it feels like the cards are stacked against us: work, dealing with tantrums (be it your toddler or tween), laundry, inflation on just about everything. That’s why it is more important than ever to offer some positive reinforcement… to yourself! We talked to the experts and came up with 15 positive affirmations to write down, display, or pull out on the days or in the moments when you need a lift.

Why positive affirmations can make you a better parent

We asked renowned parenting expert Reena B. Patel why positive affirmations matter. Patel, who is also a licensed educational psychologist, board-certified behavior analyst, and the author of Winnie & Her Worries, reminds us that positive affirmations are rooted in positive psychology. “Positive, simple statements help shift your focus away from perceived failures and direct your focus toward your strengths,” says Patel. “We believe and act upon what we think, thus leading to self-fulfilling prophecies if we focus only on what we are not good at. There is power in positive thinking. Positive emotions are linked with better health, longer life, and greater well-being.”

Patel also suggests that, whenever possible, parents try to state their affirmation while looking at themselves in the mirror, and by saying the statement multiple times a day (at least three is ideal). Use positive “I’ statements and place a visual of the words in an area that you can see daily as a reminder, she adds.

1. I am a good parent. It’s easy to criticize ourselves and focus on how we think we’re failing as a mom or dad. But parenting is tough, and we’re all doing the best we can. Acknowledge that fact, and tell yourself out loud, every day, that you’re a good parent.

2. Loving myself is the greatest gift I can give to my child. Kids are sponges and they learn from us. So if your kiddos know you appreciate yourself, they will learn to love themselves. That’s one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids.

3. I’m not perfect. We all know that nobody is perfect. But we place a big expectation on ourselves as parents to be pretty close to it. Repeating that mantra is a great reminder that it’s okay to be human, not to be perfect.

4. I can only control myself. It’s so hard, but one of the best ways to help kids grow emotionally is to exhibit mature behavior. Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC, says, “When we react emotionally to our kids and lose control, we’re allowing our kids to determine how we behave rather than the other way around.” Next time your kid throws a massive fit, try to stay calm and see what happens.

5. I am willing to learn and grow. Patel reminds us that it is critical to embrace change and growth, even when things seem tough. After all, it’s what we’d tell our kids, right?
6. Today is a new day. It’s easy to focus on how yesterday was a bad day. Sanah Rizvi, the founder of The Psych Way, suggests shifting the self-talk to focus on how every day is a chance to make progress toward what you want and the person you want to be.

7. I’m doing the best I can do. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do. Repeating that mantra every day will help you accept it as truth.

8. I make good decisions for my kids. This positive affirmation is a tough one to remember, especially when little ones are very vocal about making their displeasure with our decisions known. Parent Trust points out that moms and dads know they’re making the right choices for their kids. Embrace it and repeat the statement to yourself as a reminder.

9. I’m going easy on myself today. Permit yourself to take it easy. Say it out loud and grow comfortable with the idea.

10. It’s okay to ask for help, and what’s more, I deserve it. It’s time to take control of your needs and be OKAY with asking for help. You’ll be surprised to find out how many people are willing to step up if you just ask them.

11. Parenting is exhausting. Every parent knows this statement to be true. Writer Lauren Tamm suggests repeating this mantra as a reminder that taking care of kids is hard work. No wonder we’re so tired at the end of the day!

12. I am loved. Motherhood can be a thankless job, and little ones aren’t known for their compliments. Parent coach and family therapist Nicole Schwarz reminds moms that even though their kids may not say it, they really do feel that way. You just may need to put words to it.

13. I am what my kiddo needs. At the end of the day, there’s nothing else that’s as true as that statement.

14. It won’t always be like this. The one thing we know for sure is that hardships always pass. From colicky babies to navigating social media with tweens, one day, you’ll find yourself on the other side.

15. I do not need to compare. ” I know my kids the best, and comparisons do not serve me. If I notice myself comparing, I will quickly let it go,” Patel says. And that’s a lead worth following.

—with additional reporting by Leah Singer

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Dear Fellow Passenger: You Are Not Entitled to a Silent Flight

By Zrinka Peters

Living a couple of thousand miles from my immediate family means that I fly every year—with kids—on tiring flights. On multiple occasions, I’ve flown solo with kids. This summer, I flew alone with four kids aged 2, 4, 6, and 8. Last summer, I did it alone with each of those kids being a year younger. I’ve flown with sleeping newborns, squirmy nine-month-olds, and impossible eighteen-month-olds. On some flights, my kids have been surprisingly angelic. On others, I’ve fought with a loud, kicking toddler for four exhausting hours. Believe me, it’s not fun.

I’ve experienced the anxious, dreading sideline glances of passengers when they see young kids approaching their seats. I’ve witnessed the “huffing, puffing and mumbling.” Honestly, some people seem to be annoyed by the mere presence of kids, even when their behavior is just fine. Unfortunately, only on a small handful of occasions in the last decade of plane travel with kids has someone offered to help, and it’s usually been a kind-hearted passenger.

I know it’s annoying to listen to a young child whine or cry. I know it’s annoying when they talk loudly or get excited and yell (or in my two-year-old’s case, sing their heart out). I know there are a lot of business travelers on flights these days who expect to read, work or sleep the entire flight. But, fellow passengers, try to understand.

The planes my family travel on are public transportation just like buses or ferries or trains. I’m allowed to board them with my kids, and these flights are not designated silent zones. They are not even “adult-only” zones. I promise to do my best to get my kids to behave well during the flight. But I can’t promise you a silent flight, and you are not entitled to one.

If I see one of my kids kick your seat, I’ll get them to stop, but they might sneak one in anyway. My toddler sometimes gets excited and (like a normal child with exceptionally healthy lungs) screams out of joy, fear, excitement, whatever. If that happens, I’ll promptly remind her to use her “inside voice,” but she’s likely to forget at some point during the flight.

If my four-year-old drops a crayon or fruit snack and it somehow finds its way under your seat, let’s not treat it like a criminal offense, ok? If—heaven forbid—my toddler has ear pain because of the changes in air pressure, there might be some loud crying. They are kids, after all, and as hard as I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to get our two-year-old to act 21.

The human family we are all a part of consists of people of all ages. We need to bear with one another a little more. Children seem to have been largely pushed out of many public places, but they have every right to be there. Please don’t treat my kids like they don’t belong on your flight. I know you have important places to go. So do we. My kids need to see their grandparents.

So dear fellow passenger: as long as you’re not hiring private jets and we find ourselves on the same flight, let’s make a deal.  I’ll do my very best—I promise—to have my kids behave well on our shared flight. I’m prepared. I have snacks, activities, iPads, patience, and stamina. But my best efforts can’t 100 percent ensure total serenity.

You do your very best to welcome them on the flight and overlook minor outbursts in their otherwise-good behavior. Oh, and if you see me struggling under the weight of a toddler, diaper bag, purse, carry-on case, and stroller, feel free to be an everyday hero and offer to help with a smile. See you on our next flight.

I'm a wife and mom (to six) who's also a freelance writer in between the craziness of family life. I love the outdoors, reading, cooking and snuggling with the littles. I write to share my thoughts about the things that capture my attention - family, faith, education, health and life.

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How to Make Virtual Calls Better for Little Kids

By Richard Peterson

If you’ve ever eavesdropped on a preschooler’s phone or FaceTime conversation, you probably found it very entertaining, but also a little cringey. After all, young children are still learning the social graces of one-on-one conversations.

Our experts in the Kiddie Academy Education Department have offered the following guidance on how to make virtual communicating a comfortable and worthwhile experience for kids of all ages.

Is It Worth Trying to Teach Your Child Virtual Etiquette?

As with any one-on-one interactions your child may encounter, you want them to be polite, responsive, well-mannered, and cordial. But the reality is some of these expectations can be developmentally inappropriate, especially with younger ones. In the early years (2 years old through preschool), your child’s receptive and expressive language skills aren’t fully developed. They don’t comprehend certain questions asked of them and will have difficulty responding appropriately. Or they may not respond at all.

However, the persistence of the coronavirus suggests that virtual interactions will continue to be the new normal and the future, so it’s important to teach children at an early age how to navigate and behave in a virtual world.

Tips for One-On-One Virtual Calls with Kids

It’s a big deal when children can see and talk to friends and relatives one-on-one via the screen. Here are a few bits of advice on how to turn the calls into a good experience for everyone:

1. Calls should be short. Recommended maximum times are two minutes for 2-year-olds; three-four minutes for 3-4-year-olds; five minutes for 5-year-olds, and so on. The interaction will be short and that’s OK, too. It may take more time to set it up the call than the call lasts.

2. Many young children become shy—reserved and uncomfortable—seeing themselves and others on a computer screen, while others will become excited and chat away. That’s OK. Don’t force the interactions and instead be gentle and supportive.

3. Sometimes the adult may be the one holding the child back from being comfortable enough to interact with their friends. Find alternative ways for them to interact with friends—send letters, call on the phone, do a drive-by and talk from your car, etc.

4. Don’t worry about your child not looking directly into the camera. Children have difficulty making eye contact in person. Looking into a small hole on a computer and being attentive enough to do so for the duration of a call may not be developmentally appropriate.

5. Avoid using the same space for one-on-one chats as you use for virtual learning. Try to separate the two so that your child is aware that one area is for learning and the other area can be for talking to friends.

6. Encourage your child to share toys, books, or anything that interests them with their friends. If possible, set up the computer so that the children may play together virtually and talk to one another as they play. It’s comforting to know that a friend is with you, even though it’s virtual.

This post originally appeared on Kiddie Academy Family Essentials Blog.

Richard Peterson has over 20 years of experience in early childhood education where he has been involved with the direct and indirect instruction of students. As the Chief Academic Officer, Peterson provides daily support to the Kiddie Academy education department in the areas of curriculum, assessment, training and more.

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5 Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

By Sam Farmer

Quite a journey this has been so far, don’t you think?! Hopefully the strategies that follow will make the journey more manageable than it has been up to now. They stem from the experiences of a parent who, like his child, is on the autism spectrum but did not learn this about himself until after he became a father.

Not all of these strategies will be relevant to every parenting scenario. The autism spectrum represents a wide variety of personality profiles and challenge—there is no “one size fits all” set of tips.

1. Do everything you can to position your child for strong self-esteem. There is no more noble a pursuit than this when it comes to parenting in general.

A few things to consider:

  • Encourage your child to accept, or better yet, embrace, who he is regardless of the types of challenges and adversity he confronts.
  • Adopt realistic expectations, recognizing that it is counterproductive to discipline your child for behaviors he cannot control.
  • Steer him towards activities which you think he will enjoy and at which you believe he may become proficient.
  • Listen to him and respond positively to what he says whenever a positive response is warranted. When he asks you a question, answer him, regardless of whether you think the question is worthy of an answer.
  • Keep in mind that when you yell or scream at your child, he will most likely beat up on himself.

2. ​Look at small steps forward as if they are monumental achievements. For many on the spectrum, personal development occurs in small steps over longer than expected periods of time. If you treat these small steps forward as being as significant as they truly are to your autistic child’s growth (in other words, by passionately praising them), they will contribute more to her growth than they otherwise would. Such praise is not likely to be effective when given long after the fact. Immediacy is critically important in this case so that your child can easily associate the praise with the act that is being praised. If and when a praiseworthy behavior becomes habitual, it need not be praised as often as it was before it became commonplace. Too much praise is likely to render it less beneficial.

Simple behaviors that are not yet habitual, which your spectrum child performs without being prompted and which show self-awareness or awareness of others are examples of small steps forward which should elicit high praise. For example, saying “please” and “thank you” when it is warranted, offering to help out with a task, saying “bless you” when somebody sneezes, properly performing an act of self-care, etc. Increments of progress towards a long-term goal, whatever that goal may be, are worthy of high praise as opposed to only giving praise once the goal has been fully attained.

3. Beware of “the bachelor state of mind”: The bachelor(ette) state of mind can be thought of as a gravitational force that tries to lure you into thinking only about your own interests, even when doing so is at the expense of your child’s best interests. Not a crime when you were younger and only responsible for yourself, and yet it has a way of hanging around once your life can no longer be all about you.

For example, when you lie down on the couch to relax and then you don’t move when your child asks you to play with him, you succumb to the bachelor state of mind, particularly if opportunities to play with him are relatively few and far between. When you manage to drag yourself off the couch to play with your son in spite of how tired you are, you have triumphed over the bachelor state of mind. Your effort goes a long way toward enhancing your relationship with your child.

4. Try to see the world through your child’s eyes. If you are nonautistic and your child is autistic, it is highly likely that the two of you will not end up on the same page with respect to how the information the immediate environment transmits is processed and therefore how each of you responds to what goes on around you. Consequently, at least some of your child’s behaviors probably do not make any sense to you. Nonetheless, work on putting yourself in her shoes and parenting according to her reality. A difficult task to say the least, but an important one.

Nobody wins when you repeatedly try, to no avail, to get her to behave in ways that are consistent with your own experience and which you consider to be “normal”. Refrain from criticizing what in your view are awkward, aberrant behaviors and resist the temptation to redirect her away from these behaviors. Instead, create a safe, accepting environment for her in which she can behave as she does and receive love and validation rather than be judged or scolded. Allow her to be herself to the extent that she is not harming herself or others in the process. She is beautiful just the way she is!

5. Seek help if you know deep down that you could use it. Doing so is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it shows that you have the courage and the strength to pursue change for the better. Help for folks on the spectrum and their parents is available from caring, intelligent professionals including clinicians, relevant school personnel, local autism resource centers (ARC’s), and numerous organizations.

Here are a few organizations that exist to assist the autism spectrum community in achieving better outcomes: The Asperger/Autism Network is one such organization that hosts support groups and provides a variety of services aimed at helping those on the spectrum live more meaningful, connected lives. Social Thinking®  is a methodology that helps autistic kids develop social competencies. The College Internship Program helps young adults on the spectrum prepare for and succeed in college, gain meaningful employment and acquire independent living skills.

 

This post originally appeared on For Every Mom.

SAM FARMER wears many hats, among them father, husband, musician, computer consultant, autism spectrum community contributor, and author of the new book, A Long Walk Down a Winding Road: Small Steps, Challenges, & Triumphs Through an Autistic Lens, which is now available on Amazon. 

 

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I Have Officially Become the Mother I Used to Judge

By Catherine Buhler

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Let me paint you a picture… Your friends decide its about time for a girls day out lunch. How fun! Of course, I am in! What a great idea! I will bring Samantha with a peanut butter sandwich and it will be awesome. Isn’t being a stay at home Mom the best?!

I get to the restaurant starving and ready to relax with my girlfriends…And then reality sits in. Samantha realizes she doesn’t fancy the high chair that has been provided for us. And you know what, she doesn’t want her sandwich, either. You know what Samantha wants? To run away from her Mother and spill water all over the table. Her plan for my girls lunch was very different than mine. In fact, I spent little time interacting with the girls and more time controlling tantrums and threatening (with love)! for her to behave at the exit.

Finally my amazing friend grabbed Sam from me and took her outside for a bit so I could have a bite and sulk in pity. We eventually left early. I now have a toddler and my life is over. No, just kidding (Kind of).

But, seriously, toddlers are not for the weak, dude. I remember sitting there with my newborn and looking at toddlers thinking, that looks so fun! I can’t wait for Samantha to play with me and talk to me and giggle. Now, don’t get me wrong. We giggle a whole lot in the Buhler household. But, no one tells you this whole Mom thing may be the hardest thing you have ever done in your whole life. In between Goodnight Moon (124th time) and food spills (almost daily) I have to remind myself that I am doing an awesome job and some days all you have to excel at is keeping them alive.

I also remember a time when I was newly married, getting a full and refreshing 8 hours of sleep and the only bum I had to wipe was my own. I would sit there and gander at Moms. “Oh, my kid will never have a paci longer than 6 months.” “My child will never talk back to me.” “I plan on making different Pinterest FHE packets for every week of the year.” “My toddler will never behave like that in public.” Yes, sadly Catherine does remember those days. …and I am here to admit it, apologize and eat some humble pie. Because as I sat there trying to talk sense into a 19 month old while prying her off the dirty Shanghai sidewalk from her meltdown, I closed my eyes, and said to myself, “You are THAT mother, and it is OKAY.”

I think we (Catherine included) have placed too much pressure on ourselves and eachother to be the BEST mother out there. “Look at my child, potty trained at 6 months. It only took 3 hours!” “What do you mean, you didn’t breastfeed for 12 months?” “I never let my children eat anything unless its organic, glutten-free, pesticide free, and is deliciously inedible.” Why do we do this to ourselves? Its exhausting. Okay, Catherine is exhausted. But thats besides the point. It is okay to give your child peanut butter and jelly for lunch every once in awhile. It is okay to let Elmo offer them a dose of education so you can take a quick shower. You don’t need to feel guilty. Because in the end, your child isn’t going to remember how many times you gave him broccoli or goldfish. He will remember the way you showed him love, the way you excelled at kisses and the encouragement you always provided.

I love being a Mom, I know I will look back on these days with fond memories. But, I also know I shouldn’t waste time with my Children worrying if I am doing everything the “right way.” What is the right way, anyways? I am almost positive (about 95.67%)  that there is not one right way to raise them. Thank goodness!

A small update to that girls day lunch- Catherine rewarded herself with a Diet Coke when she got home. Samantha doesn’t even remember throwing herself on the ground screaming and hopefully all of the city has forgotten it, as well.

Hi, i'm Cat! We live in Orlando, Florida where my husband works for Mickey Mouse (no, really). We have two kids, Samantha (5) & Preston (2). I suffer from a chronic illness called Short Bowel Syndrome. My ramblings are dedicated to travel adventures, nap time confessions and my medical journey. Cheers!

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The 1 Thing Missing from Your Holiday To-Do List

By Dana Sheridan

Around the holidays, you tend to look for ways to slow down a little and spend quality time connecting with your kids. Reading with your children is a fun, easy and truly special way to accomplish this. There are so many benefits of cozying up and reading with your young ones during this joyful season. Here’s a few!

Reading with Your Kids Deepens Relationships

When you and your kids read together, you sit close to each other. Your children feel safe snuggling near you. They feel important with the focus just on them in that moment. No phone, no job, no chores are distracting you while you are reading together. It’s just 10 to 15 minutes with you and your children sharing a good story.

Reading with Your Kids Shares Your Values

Reading stories and then talking about them with your children shows them what your family values. You can discuss decisions that characters made and show what your family believes. These discussions could be about how to treat others, how to share and give or how to react when someone hurts you. You can share religious books to discuss what you believe and talk about your faith. Your kids can ask questions of you to learn what you believe and why. You can share how you would like them to behave. These are teachable moments establishing the roots that make up your family.

Reading with Your Kids Develops a Love of Reading

Improving reading skills starts with the love of reading. Children learn to love reading when they associate it with good feelings and memories. When a parent models enjoyment of reading–and I mean reading an actual book, not on a phone or computer–children emulate that. When children love to read, they naturally improve their reading skills. They talk about what they have read, they picture what is going on in a text like a mental movie, they predict what could happen next and they think about what a character might be feeling. These are critical foundations for comprehension; all just from a simple and enjoyable experience with a book. 

Reading with Your Kids Slows You Down

Unfortunately, no matter what you do, the holidays are a hectic time. We want to focus on others and family, but we fill our schedules and “to-do” lists with so much that there seems to be little time to just enjoy. When you read with your child, time slows down. You relax, your child relaxes, you breathe more easily and deeply and you just get to be together. You get to read a story for pure enjoyment. This brings a calming effect to the entire season. It can truly be a “silent night” when “all is calm.”

No matter how you celebrate the holidays, make time to read great books with your children. Let them pick a few and you share some of your favorites as a child. Surprise them with a new book at the start of each week to enjoy together. Let reading become your holiday tradition. 

Before joining Village, Dana worked in public education for fourteen years as a Special Education Counselor, Autism Coordinator, Special Education Supervisor, and Assistant Director of Special Programs. Throughout her educational career, Dana assists students, parents, and staff with the social/emotional component of learning. She enjoys spending time with family, traveling, and shopping.

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Modeling Good Behavior Is Worth a Thousand Lectures

By Tyler Jacobson

Photo: Anna Nahabed via Shutterstock

There’s an old saying that children are like sponges, they tend to soak up everything and every influence around them. Whether we realize it or not, we parents are the primary influence in our kids’ lives and they mirror our attitudes and actions.

Most of us expect our children to behave in certain ways. We want them to be patient, honest, respectful and so much more. Unfortunately, we also make the mistake of failing to model the kind of behavior we want to see reflected in our children.

When my kids were young, I realized that some virtues and qualities were hard to ingrain in a child’s nature if they weren’t exposed to them constantly. My wife and I then made the decision to live our lives in such a way that our kids could learn from our example in both small everyday things as well as larger ones.

Here are some of the ways we decided to be positive role models for our kids:

Good manners. It’s easy to fall into a trap of complaining that kids these days don’t have good manners. But how will they learn if we don’t model manners? I set a good example for my kids both at home and in public by being polite to everyone I meet, regardless of the circumstances. Additionally, words like “thank you”, “please”, “excuse me”, “may I” feature regularly in our daily conversations.

Respectfulness. Other than teaching my kids good manners, I also model respectfulness and kindness. I make an effort to be respectful to everyone around us from the postman and delivery guys to the neighbors. I watch how I speak to them and also how I speak about others when they’re not around. It’s also important for my kids to see me treating their mom with kindness and respect.

Generosity. From the time my kids were toddlers, they joined us in volunteering at the local animal shelter, homeless shelter, old people’s homes or veteran groups in our community. I also encouraged them to set aside part of their allowance as donations to any charity or course of their choice every year. As a result, generosity is part of my kids’ lives and they’re always psyched about giving back to the community.

Being a Good Listener. One way we keep growing is by learning to genuinely listen to others, even those with different opinions to ours. While it was difficult to learn how to be an active listener, I persisted because I wanted my kids to notice me paying attention and being considerate of other people’s points of view. This way, they’ll learn that it’s okay to have differing opinions and that they can still listen even if they don’t necessarily agree with them.

Healthy Eating. I wanted my children to not only learn to eat healthy but also how to prepare nutritious meals for themselves. To help them learn to make healthy food choices, I made it a habit to include them in meal preparation, especially over the school holidays. We’d sit down, come up with a menu together, go shopping for groceries and then we’d prepare the meals. They were more likely to eat healthy meals and snacks if they had a hand in preparing them.

We also exercise as a family whenever possible. We go out to play in the park, ride our bikes, go for hikes or swimming. Exercising together has helped us bond as a family while instilling a healthy lifest‌yle in my kids.

Prioritizing Family Time. To show my children that I enjoy spending quality time with them, I make a point of scheduling weekly one-on-one dates with each of them. We also have dinner together daily, no matter how busy my schedule gets and we have a weekly game night where the kids take turns choosing the games to play. I’m hoping that by doing this they will learn to value and prioritize family time.

As parents, we can give a thousand lectures to our kids on how to behave but these will never have as great an impact as the examples we set.

Tyler Jacobson is a happy husband, father of three, writer and outreach specialist with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today.

 
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How to Successfully Prepare Your Child for Their First Dental Visit

By Sonal Bhoot

Parental duties never end, but nightmares—like your child’s dental visits—are always a good learning opportunity. If you haven’t yet figured out the logistics of getting your little one through those hair-raising moments, fear not. Perhaps some tips that begin at home will set you on the right track. 

1. Don’t let them smell the fear. This is one hard-and-fast rule that applies to anybody, from adult humans to animals. Children definitely figure on this list. If you are terrified of the dentist or have had unpleasant dental experiences in the past, chances are you’re going to let it slip at home. The moment your child picks up on this, you can bank on them being scared of the unknown factor that goes by the moniker of ‘dentist.’ Never let your child know about your fear. Try making it sound like a good thing. Allow your kid to experience their first dental visit without the shadow of your dental trials clouding their appointment. 

2. Prepare the young ones right from the start. If you begin a good oral hygiene routine early, chances are your pediatric dentist will have nothing to do but compliment your efforts and let you off easy. Start by massaging the gums with a soft cloth before 6 months of age. Once the teeth start coming in, use a toothbrush and continue brushing your child’s teeth for them until they can do it themselves. Allow them to watch you brushing so they pick up the pattern and don’t miss any spots. 

Diet-wise, make sure to avoid the sugary stuff, particularly before bedtime. If they’re breast or bottle feeding, take care that milk doesn’t pool in the mouth. Introduce healthy, fibrous foods into their diets as they grow older. 

3. Prepare yourself. Although preparing your child is an important consideration, another facet is how well-prepared you are. With infants, the whole process depends on you. Ideally, a child’s first dental visit should be between 6 months to 1 year of age. This is an age when you cannot explain anything to them and the whole dental visit depends on you and your good luck. With children that young, you’ll have to sit in the dental chair yourself and hold your child in your lap. Relax as much as possible and try reassuring your child through your own special signals that they can pick up on.

With slightly older children, you can expect tantrums but prepare to be firm and supportive at the same time. Do not warn them not to cry beforehand, because this will automatically create the impression that they have something to fear. Instead, act like it’s just a regular visit. A casual, laid-back approach with an emphasis on taking care of their teeth, and brushing before the appointment, will convey just the right attitude. 

Another detail to remember is that, as a parent, you may be anxious about your child. However, be sure not to translate this in your gestures, as you may simply be presenting them with an opportunity to take advantage of your fear, throw tantrums, or make the visit doubly difficult. Offer all your support while keeping your fears at bay. Discuss any concerns you may have with your dentist, preferably out of the hearing range of your child. 

4. Don’t let other people’s stories determine how your appointment will go. Remember that, while other parents may be able to give you good tips with references to their own experiences, each child is different with individual concerns. What works for one child may not work for another, and what applies to one may not apply to another. Telling your child to behave a certain way or to expect a certain thing puts additional pressure on them and may create an illusion of a right which may be completely wrong in their case. This applies to you as well, because parental expectations and behavior matters. 

5. The dentist is not the big, bad monster. We are all guilty of this one. When you want your child to behave, you scare them with monsters and doctor’s needles. Maybe you threaten them with a visit to the dentist if they don’t take care of their teeth. Inadvertently, though, you create an irrational fear of the dentist when you do this. Children are not born with a fear of doctors or dentists. Unthinking comments on pain, injections, and other scary threats lead them to believe that they have a reason for fear. Always try to make the dentist sound like the good guy.

Right from the time they are old enough to understand, avoid phrasing dental or doctor’s appointments in scary terms. Instead, try presenting it in a positive light. 

6. Scheduling your appointment at the optimal time. Your child is a lot less likely to be cranky if you schedule an appointment in the daytime; preferably morning. A dental visit at the end of a tiring day, particularly for children, is daunting for everyone—from your child to the dentist, and even you. 

Also, remember to be on time. Running late will also have tempers running high, time running low, and a less-than-satisfactory appointment. 

7. Strike the right balance. Try to be open to the possibilities that your child’s dentist suggests in terms of treatment. Do not cling to your child or allow them to cling to you if they are old enough to understand. With young children between infancy to 4 years of age, it’s best to make sure you are there within sight or holding their hands. Avoid flinching, gesturing, or talking to the dentist using terms that convey anxiety to your child. 

Dr. Sonal Bhoot is the founder of Dental Expressions Lee’s Summit. She has over 15 years of dental experience and received her doctorate in Dental Medicine. (DMD) in 2003 from the New Jersey Dental School. Dr. Bhoot has certifications and proficiencies in cosmetic dentistry, CEREC training, Invisalign, endodontics, Oral Surgery

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What to Do When You Have a Dog and Are Having a Baby

By Sienna Penfold

Being pregnant and preparing for a new family member is a huge change, but a beautiful and exciting one. And as much effort as you put into getting yourself and your home ready for the arrival of the baby, things are always a bit more demanding for dog owners. In fact, many parents worry about how their dog will react to the baby. Fortunately, there are always some smart ways you can help your pet adjust to the new dynamics in your home. Here are some of the most important things you should do if you want your pet to accept your baby.

Enlist Helpers.

When your baby arrives, you’ll have less time for all sorts of things, which includes your pet. However, this doesn’t mean you’ll neglect your dog or that you’ll love them any less. In order to make things work, you may need to come up with some sort of loose schedule based on your dog’s routine, so that you can have some time for them every day. You may need to ask your partner or some of your closest family or friends for help at first since you can’t be expected to leave your baby every time your dog needs to go outside. If you know who you’ll ask for help, maybe they can start taking your dog for occasional walks while you’re still pregnant, so that they get familiar, and that they feel comfortable around each other. Also, since you know you’ll take your dog with you once you start taking your baby outdoors, you should teach your dog to walk calmly next to a baby stroller. This way you’ll all enjoy these walks, and you’ll keep your baby safe by training your pet to behave nicely around the stroller.

Prep, Prep Prep.

While decorating the nursery and buying everything the baby might need, make sure you don’t forget about your dog. It’s important that you also purchase quality dog supplies. It’s so easy to order dog supplies online and have them delivered to your doorstep like shampoo, brushes, clippers and other grooming items for your dog to look its best, as well as products to keep your dog healthy. Finally, stock up on dog food and get a new toy or two, so that your dog is always properly fed and entertained at all times. It’s important that your dog knows you haven’t forgotten about them and that you always have their best interest in mind.

Dog Talk.

Dogs may not understand every word you say, but they still understand a lot and can take hints from the tone of your voice. Problems may arise once you start talking to your baby if you use the same affectionate voice you only used for your dog before. Your pet might not understand that you’re actually talking to your baby, so take some precautions even before the baby is born. For instance, start carrying a doll or at least a folded blanket and talking to it as if it were your baby, with your pet in the room. Also, train your dog to look at you when you call their name and that you’re only talking to them when you’re looking straight at them, praising them once they make eye contact. Whenever you say anything to your dog, say their name first, so that you avoid the confusion.

Introduce Your Two Loves.

You don’t have to wait for the baby to arrive from the hospital for your dog to get the first sniff of them. There are ways you can introduce your baby to your dog even before it’s born. For instance, get the dog used to the baby’s room and that they can’t be very loud there. Also, once the baby’s born and you’re still in the hospital, send something that was in contact with your baby, such as a blanket or a piece of clothing. That way the dog can get familiar with your baby’s scent before they actually meet. When you come home from the hospital, it’s a good idea for somebody else to carry the baby into the house, and for you to greet your pet calmly. After that, you can ensure that their first real contact happens while you’re sitting down in an armchair or a couch, and the dog can approach and sniff the baby. If you notice that it’s too excited, or that it’s showing any signs of aggression, instead of sending the dog away, you should leave the room with the baby so that the dog can settle down. Once your pet is calm, try again until you get the desired reaction.

Best Friends for Life.

Pets can bring a whole range of benefits to a growing child, and it’s most likely that your dog and your baby will develop a very deep bond, becoming each other’s guardian and best friend. However, as much as children love animals and vice versa, there’s a chance they won’t know how to treat each other or behave around each other at first. That’s why you should always be there to guide them and supervise their interaction. Once they learn how to play together, they’ll have the chance to discover the world and grow together. Finally, there are many valuable lessons your dog can give your baby, teaching them how to love, be more emphatic and responsible.

There’s no reason for your dog and your baby not to get along well. With some mindful effort, you can help your dog understand that the family has a precious new member and that it only means more love to go around.

 

My name is Sienna, and I am a full-time mum and proud owner of two beautiful dogs, Coco and Hulk. I am passionate about my pets and writing too, and found a way to help others by sharing my experience and writing about topics that are found useful. 

 

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