ML Interest Tag: believe

I’m a Single Mom. I Won’t Let Santa Take Credit for the Good Gifts

By Nicole Pecoraro

I want my kids to know that I worked hard to make sure that they got that one thing on their list they really wanted.

Like many, Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. It got especially magical after I had kids. I can’t wait to see their little faces light up on Christmas morning with delight as they burst out of their bedrooms with anticipation to see if Santa actually came.

You know, the man in red with the jolly disposition and the mystical elves that make toys from scratch and report back to the North Pole every night fueled by “cheer.” The man who somehow manages to make it across the entire world in one night and lives solely off of milk and cookies and Christmas spirit.

I love Santa. I love the idea of Santa. And I love that my kids think that Santa is magic. It adds an extra element to Christmas that fills them (and me) with excitement every year. What I refuse to play into is that Santa shows up with the expensive, hard-to-find gifts, while mom and dad bring things like socks and PJs.

The mere concept of a loving Santa and his reindeer helpers is one that I think brings hope and enchantment to kids’ lives during the holidays. After all, if we can get them to believe that there is a person in this world who flies with wingless, hoofed animals (one of which has a light bulb on his face), lives in a hidden land that you can’t find on a map, and has an entire staff of tiny, pointy-eared people who have not yet managed to go on strike for being forced into overtime in dangerous conditions like the freezing cold… well, I think we’ve done our jobs.

Isn’t that enough?

I work my butt off every year to make sure my kids have a good Christmas. To make sure that they are delivered just as many presents as their friends and that they aren’t missing any “hot items” they desperately asked for.

Related: Behind Every Magical Holiday Moment Is an Exhausted Mom

For a month straight, I live off of coffee and evergreen fumes trying to scrape together pennies to bring my little ones the most joy I can on the mind-blowing morning called Christmas. I become a gift ninja: assembling, wrapping, and hiding. On Christmas Eve, I morph into a woman who doesn’t need sleep or hydration to survive and spend hours setting up an entire display for my kids to enjoy when they wake up at the crack of dawn because… SANTA!

Did I mention I love Christmas? I really do.

It’s all worth it. It is. But I will be damned if I am going to let the big guy in the red suit take all of the credit for the gift that I had to fist-fight someone over in Target because it was the last one on the shelf. NO. WAY.

I want my kids to one day replicate the magic of Christmas in their own homes every year. But I also want them to appreciate the season for what matters. Gifts are great. Getting gifts as a kid is one of the most exciting parts of Christmas, but plenty of kids do not get gifts—and if they do, they may not be as cool, high-tech, or expensive as some of the ones my kids have received over the years.

How do I explain to them that some kids (the ones who really need the miracle) don’t get what is on their list from a man who theoretically brings presents to all kids who are good? Do I tell them those kids are bad? What makes those kids less deserving? Nothing.

And how do I explain that if we have had a year when money is tight, Santa suddenly doesn’t have the “disposable income” to supply the mountain of gifts he had in recent years? I can’t. Not without them losing some faith in the magic of the holiday.

Plus, I’m trying to raise responsible and grateful humans who understand the value of material things and what it takes to make and spend money. Christmas happens to throw all of that out the window for the weeks leading up to the big day and at least a good month after.

I want my kids to know that I worked hard to make sure that they got that one thing on their list they really wanted. That even though I might have missed a few important sports games or school events, it’s because I was working—working to make sure we have a roof over our heads, that our bills got paid, and also so that I could do things like buy them that gaming system they’d been pining for.

I want my kids to understand that Christmas is magical and that there are two people who make it so: Santa and me.

But in taking credit for the extra-special gifts, I have a better explanation for the other kids who may not get the same number or types of presents as they do and why our Christmas haul may vary from year to year. Plus, I don’t have to stress about remembering which gifts came from Santa and which didn’t when something doesn’t work correctly and I have to come up with some outlandish story about how I’m going to phone into the North Pole to get a replacement.

If you ask me, the magic of Santa lies in my kids’ believing: believing that there is someone watching them, rooting for them, and willing to dazzle them with his abilities every year because he loves them. He does it all in one night because he’s spectacular. And he brings things they will love and play with for the whole year (hopefully).

But the big-ticket stuff—the gift that they requested for months, the one that cost a small fortune and will bring the biggest smile and the most thanks? That one comes from Mom. After all, Santa has a group of elves to do his bidding—I’m all on my own.

This post originally appeared on Mom Transparenting.

I'm a single mom of three and realtor living in a suburb of Chicago. In my abundant spare time I like to write about parenting, family, divorce and raising a young transgender child. I'm just trying to raise kids who know how to turn off lights when they leave a room. 

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Did the Tooth Fairy Forget to Visit? These Kits Will Save the Day

by Karly Wood

February is a busy month for the Tooth Fairy. Not only is she keeping up with all those lost teeth, but she’s celebrating Children’s Dental Health Month and Feb. 28––National Tooth Fairy Day!

In honor of this special time of month, Hold the Magic wants to give parents a way to provide a more meaningful experience beyond finding a few coins under the pillow. The website has everything you need to bring your family’s tooth fairy to life!

Hold The Magic wants to make losing teeth and an encounter with the tooth fairy more than just about money, and more about keeping childhood wonder alive with tiny gifts and stories that deliver lots of memories and a little bit of magic.

Each set is imported directly from Fairyland with gifts for three Tooth Fairy visits in each set. You’ll find a gold bag that holds a miniature treasure, a tiny Tooth Fairy letter in a sparkly envelope with a positive life lesson and of course, Fairy Dust to sprinkle lightly.

You can shop the entire selection of gifts at holdthemagic.com for $29 each. Overnight shipping is always an option, because you never know when your little might lose a tooth!

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of Hold the Magic

 

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Children’s Musician Laurie Berkner Is about to Drop Her 14th Album

by Karly Wood

Need some uplifting tunes? You’ll want to strap on the earphones and get a listen to Laurie Berkner’s newest album, Let’s Go!

The legendary children’s musician is releasing her 14th album on Mar. 5, 2021 and is packed with a slew of original, interactive songs. Her signature style shines through, with songs wrapped in wisdom and warmth.

photo: Courtesy of Laurie Berkner

Berkner shares her experience about writing the album. “A pandemic is a strange and challenging time to make and release a new album. What’s really important? What’s going to change completely by tomorrow? I didn’t expect a song about handwashing to end up on this album, or a song about wearing a mask, and I waited to release the title track until after we were no longer under strict stay-at-home orders because … well, where were we going to GO? ”

Some of the title tracks include When It’s Cold, I’m On Vacation, Listen To The Sounds and Beautiful Light. “I love imagining young kids singing these words about themselves – and truly believing them,” says Berkner.

You can download the newest album on Mar. 5.

––Karly Wood

 

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Review: Disney Frozen 2 Magic in Motion Elsa Doll

By The Toy Insider

Photo: Jakks Pacific/The Toy Insider

Magic in Motion Elsa may not have ice powers like her on-screen inspiration, but this interactive doll from Jakks Pacific is so realistic, it might just have you believing in magic! The doll, which stands about 13 inches tall, sings 1 minute of the song “Show Yourself” from the movie when you press a button on her stomach. As she sings, her mouth and head move with the music, making it look like she’s really singing the song. Elsa’s dress also lights up with a flashing display that matches the music.

Read the full review on thetoyinsider.com, and check out the Toy Insider’s full Holiday Gift Guide to see the top picks of the hottest toys this holiday season!

The Toy Insider is the go-to source for product information and the latest news about children's toys, tech, and entertainment. Its team of toy experts publishes two annual gift guides—one for summer and one for holiday—and reviews toys 365 days a year on thetoyinsider.com, a trusted resource for parents. 

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A Different Kind of Cat Grooming Salon

By Janet Coburn

I do so love to watch cats grooming themselves. I find it hypnotic and soothing – the smooth play of muscles as they twist and stretch, the sensual splayed toes, the darting little pink tongue, the occasional glimpse of the cat’s nethers.

My husband does not find it nearly so soothing. That’s because Dushenka takes a pause from grooming herself, she starts grooming him. This could keep her busy all day, since he has a lot to groom.

She usually starts with a brief lick to the nose, which I assume is to let him know what’s coming. Then she starts in on his beard. When she’s had her fill of that, she moves on to his eyebrows, though she occasionally misses and grooms his forehead.

Whenever Dan’s shirtless, which is usual in summer and not unknown even in winter, she goes for his prodigious chest hair. I have never seen her miss and accidentally lick his nipple, though I’m pretty sure if she did, he wouldn’t tell me. And I won’t even speculate about her grooming his nethers. They may engage in these pursuits when I’m not around, for which I’m mostly thankful, but about which I’m perversely curious.

I remember a Robin Williams routine in which he said, “If you think cats are so clean, you go eat a can of tuna fish and lick yourself all over.” By that theory, my husband is coated with a thin layer of Super Supper and cat spit, which I must block from my mind when I hug him.

Dushenka occasionally gives my nose a lick, but that’s as far as she goes. Cats in general find no pleasure in grooming me, although I once had a cat, Julia, who was irresistibly drawn to roll on my head whenever I had my hair done at a salon. I think she was enamored of the coconut-scented mousse my stylist used, though I know of no of no other cat attracted to coconut.

I also once knew a cat who, when I was sitting on a sofa, was drawn to my curly-permed ponytail. But she did not slurp. She pounced, apparently believing that my ‘do was some sort of rodent or other cat toy.

The only time I experienced a lengthy cat-grooming attempt was when Dan rubbed catnip on my leg. (Thankfully, I was wearing jeans.) Lick, lick, slurp, slurp ensued, until I had a round, damp spot on my thigh.

But ultimately, this post is not about cat spit, or tongue-prints, or even pants-licking. The take-away from this is: Cats groom their kittens. My husband’s mother, therefore, is the cat Dushenka, and he is her child. Please don’t tell the woman who birthed and raised him. Her claim has been challenged. And we all know what happens when you engage in a war of wills with a cat.

The cat wins.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.

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You Were Born on a Saturday Morning in Philadelphia

By Missy Woodruff

Photo: Author

You were born on a Saturday morning in Philadelphia. It was early, and the January sun was shining. It wasn’t like it was in the movies. There was no rush of activity or newborn screams. The room was calm and you came out—your eyes wide open, taking in the world around you. You barely made a sound; daddy likes to say you were like a wise Buddha. 

Those early months seem so far away, another lifetime ago. But there are things, feelings, that stand out so clearly in my mind, I can almost put myself right back there again.  The feel of your body on my chest, how much you hated taking baths, nursing you in your glider with my eyes sealed shut so I would hopefully be able to fall back to sleep again. But what I remember most is how I felt like you were mine.

There you were, a brand new person with a brand new personality, and yet, I felt so connected to you—your laugh, your tiny feet—that I felt like a piece of me was embedded in you. In a way that was unfair to you. You weren’t mine to own, but you were my first, the one we had placed so much hope in after our first devastating pregnancy. I couldn’t help it.

12 years. New houses, new siblings, new pets, new schools. All of it tumbles by. Days I wish I could freeze time and days that feel like they will never end. Much of you is still like you were on that cold January morning when we first met. But now you are taller than me. You laugh at YouTube videos that I just don’t “get” and speak in code with your brother and friends about “Fortnight kills.”

One minute you have it all together, and I stop in my tracks as I catch a glimpse of the man you will one day be. The next minute you’re being so annoying and fighting like a toddler with your siblings. It’s normal, I get it. But it’s so weird.

In 6 weeks you will finish elementary school. It’s time. You tower above the first graders in the car line. This milestone moves you one step closer to independence, one step closer to the kind of person you want to be. I’m trying to hold on to these last weeks– the three of you all in the same school for the last time. While a piece of me is sad, most of me is so excited for what lies ahead—for all you will get to experience, the endless opportunities and choices waiting out there just for you. 

And one day, it will be you in that hospital room. You will hold your newborn child and feel like he is all yours. Believing that baby belongs to you is what makes those first few exhausting weeks and months so magical.

But now, 12 years later, I’ll tell you the truth: the most beautiful thing is that you do not belong to me.

You are here, on your own journey, walking a path that I can help you navigate, but one that we won’t share for long. 

I’m lucky that for this brief time we can still travel together before our paths diverge. When they do, the most I can hope for is that I’ve equipped you with a strong, steady compass to guide you on your way.

Happy 12th birthday, Connor. 

I'm Missy, a mother of three and a middle school drama teacher at a private school. I'm obsessed with my Vizsla (dog), traveling, and the musical Hamilton. I also enjoy writing and sharing fun parenting stories, which is what brought me here.

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When Your Business Partner Is Your Life Partner

By Sadrah Schadel

If you feel like you want to kill your business/life partner sometimes, you’re not alone. This article will help.

Any entrepreneur will tell you there’s a special form of pressure on your shoulders when your business is responsible for your family’s well-being. That pressure only grows as you add more employees who need to provide for their families, too. In the age of COVID-19, the weight of that responsibility is almost suffocating…and when work-life and home-life are one and the same, that feeling can bubble over on your partner, your team, and your kids, all at once.

Hey, buddy, I know this is hard. We’re all finding ways to hide from our families a few times a week, at least. But you’re the boss of your business and your family for a reason, and it’s because you’ve got mad skills in leadership, conflict resolution, grace under fire, diplomacy, and more. So take a beat, take a breath, acknowledge those big feelings, and let the challenge fuel you like it always has. I can’t promise you a light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise if you follow these steps, you’ll at least get through tomorrow.

1. Deliver fast sorries. We’re all gonna snap, so let’s just accept that piece of humanity now, rather than beating ourselves up over it. In the book, Option B, Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant talk about how having empathy for others in your family and immediately recognizing when you’ve crossed a line, can help us all move on. We’ve instituted this practice in our house—so when one of us blows up, we can say, “Whew….fast sorries?” and do our best to let it go and move on.

2. Believe in your partner. By simply believing the best in your partner, you’ll fight at least 50-percent less. Seriously. Our relationship, our family, our business…none of it’s a zero-sum game. When you’re in a family business you have to remember you’re doing all of this for each other. Try writing down one thing about your partner you’re grateful for in business and in your household—when you wake up and before you go to bed. And if you think it sounds impossible, try it right now. I guarantee there’s something.

3. Over-communicate. Right now, the current environment changes so much day to day, in business and in life. If you’ve instituted a daily standup meeting at work to combat this, it only makes sense to have one for the family, too. Who has a Zoom meeting the kids can’t join? Who’s making lunches today? How many episodes of StoryBots is too many? Run down the list and make sure you’re on the same page about who’s leading what.

4. Be aware of your own feelings. Ok here’s the touchy-feely one. When I’m already stressed and one of the kids loses it, I’m more likely to lose it, too. Sometimes, I really need to tag in my partner for help. But 9 times out of ten, if I can force myself to take a breath, I realize that I’m not reacting to them, I’m reacting to my own stress which can diffuse the situation. And just like your cranky toddler, sometimes simply acknowledging the feeling calms me down.

5. Acknowledge your success. Is your business still in business? Amazing! Are your kids relatively well-adjusted? You’re the best parents ever! Chances are, you’re operating at about 50-percent of your usual octane at work and home, so you’ve got to adjust your expectations for greatness. Maybe you’re not growing at that 300-percent you’ve planned for, but if you’re managing to stay afloat at work and home right now, you’ve got to high five yourself—and your partner. Remember, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t in this together.

My partner and I have been operating our family-run business together for over five years. In that time, our family has grown right alongside the biz. We’ve added two hilarious, adventurous kids to our brood, and (over 70) employees, to our team. Our business is the center of it all, and the lifeblood of our family. Right now, the business is (thankfully) booming but massively challenging, and as a family, we hit our bumps in the road, as everyone does. But ya know what? We’re gonna make it through this.

So keep doing your best—I promise, it’s enough. And in the meantime, just savor that five minutes of alone time you get around 11 p.m. every night like a fine wine. It’s frickin’ gold.

 

My partner-in-life and business, Mike, and I own and operate No Evil Foods, a vegan meat company. Just as our business has grown, so has our family, with two hilarious, adventurous (and exhausting) kids added to the mix — enter our four-year-old son, Elan, and 18-month-old daughter, Artemis.

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Sorry, Not Sorry: Why Girls Need to Stop Apologizing

By Lindsay Sealey

Photo: Shutterstock.com

You may have heard of a “little” best seller called, Girl, Stop Apologizing (2019) by multi-media company founder, Rachel Hollis. I don’t’ know about you but I’ve read it three times now, going on four. Hollis, speaker, author, and inspiring human being, calls us to action when she says, “It’s time to be yourself, unapologetically, and to show the world what happens when a woman challenges herself for greatness. It’s time to stop apologizing for who you are.” (p. 210).

I took her message to heart and started making changes in my own life, busting through some limiting beliefs and deciding to further design my dreams. Then, I considered how her compelling message could be brought to young girls and their parents. Here it is: our girls need to stop saying, “I’m sorry” so they can start embracing all they are meant to be.

Spend any amount of time with a growing girl and you’ll know this: they apologize all the time. “Sorry, I corrected you”, “Sorry, I made a mistake”, or “Sorry I just offered a creative idea.” No! Girls need to stop the insanity of excessively apologizing for who they are and all they offer. I asked girls why they apologize so much and they explained that sometimes it’s habit, or to fill awkward pauses in conversation. Yet, a lot of the time it’s because they are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, disappointing people, or coming across as conceited.

Girls instinctively apologize for their voice, presence, ideas, opinions and dreams and this is troubling. Why? Because for every instant she says, “I am sorry” she is eroding her self-confidence and self-belief. Think about it: with each apology, she shrinks into herself and shies away from the power of her contribution. She is missing the opportunity to feel good about what she brings to the table.

Research tells us social media is damaging girls’ self-esteem. I’m not going to argue. Girls are constantly checking their feeds and feeling “not good enough” as they compare perfectly polished pictures with their own bodies and lives. Yet, I am going to argue that they are also damaging their own self-worth with their apologies. Can we all agree that’s it’s time to trade in her “I’m sorry’s” for some confidence boosters. Explain to her that when she apologizes and she hasn’t done anything wrong, she loses her inner strength and power. Conversely, when she apologizes when she is in the wrong, she gains power and feels empowered. When girls learn to withhold unnecessary apologies, they become more bold and brave. Isn’t this what all want? Here are three ways to do this:

Check yourself. I know I may sound like a broken record, but if you want your daughter to change in any way, you will need to ask yourself what you are modeling. If “I’m sorry” is your catch phrase, even when you have done nothing wrong, start by noticing. Ask yourself, “How often do I say I am sorry in a given day?” You may be shocked by your new awareness of how many times you utter these three words. Then, start to replace “I’m sorry…for asking for a favour” to a more assertive, “I have a favour to ask”. She is listening and she is learning and needs to see what “no apologizing” and “no limits” living looks like. 

Notice her “I’m sorry’s”. Any time your daughter says she is sorry without reason, challenge her. Girls apologize to me all the time when I offer them treats. “I’m sorry, I took a cookie” to which I respond, “Why are you apologizing?” or “No need to apologize, how about we try again with something like – thank you for the cookie.” If she proffers an apology for her opinion, which, let’s face it, will inevitably be different from yours, respond with, “I appreciate your unique taste in music which we simply don’t share, but you do you.” This is not to say girls don’t need to apologize sometimes and be accountable for their words and actions such as when: they are late, forget to clean their room, or give us a sassy response. Notice when her apology is not warranted and help her see why.

Practice replacement phrases to cultivate her self-worth and replacement role models. I have three prompts I use a lot with girls to help them feel empowered: “I am…” (followed by a quality or value), “I can…” (followed by a talent or skill), and “I will…”(followed by a goal or commitment). These phrases subvert the apology and build her inner strength, from the inside out. At the same time, I am convinced that by giving girls positive examples of young women who are offering no apologies for who they are and the difference they want to make, we can reduce the negative impact of some of the social media influencers they are following. Point her towards powerhouses such as: Bethany Hamilton, Ally Raisman, Malala Yousafsai, Brie Larson, or Kharis Rogers who have overcome a shart attack, sexual assault, terrorism, and sexism, and racism.

Rachel Hollis offers no apologies for her hard work, passion and purpose, and success. I think that girls today and those supporting girls need to take a page out of Hollis’ book and stop apologizing to start believing and then becoming greater and greater every day.

 

I am a girl advocate and girls champion; the founder of Bold New Girls, teaching and coaching for girls and their parents. As well, I am the author Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready (available on Amazon and Audible). I am an international speaker and an instructor with Udemy. 

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Duncan Hines Launches Single-Serve Unicorn, Mermaid & Galaxy Cake Cups

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Unicorns and mermaids adorn everything your kids own from their toys to their clothes. Now, they can enjoy their favorite mythical creatures at dessert time too. 

Duncan Hines is releasing Mermaid, Unicorn, and Galaxy themed personal-sized cake cups. These colorful desserts are as easy to make as they are pretty. Plus, there’s no cleanup. 

Simply, pop open the lid, add 3 tablespoons of water to the mix and microwave for 1 minute. Don’t stress if the colors don’t look quite right, the batter changes color as it bakes. Top your cake with confetti-like sprinkles and bright melty chips. These mini cakes will have you believing that unicorns are real. 

Mermaid: Vanilla-flavored purple cake mix with colorful pearl-like purple and white sprinkles.

Duncan Hines Mermaid Cake Mix

Unicorn: Vanilla flavored pink cake mix with pink, purple, and white sprinkles.

Duncan Hines Unicorn Cake Mix

Galaxy: Chocolate cake mix with purple and white sprinkles. 

Duncan Hines Galaxy Cake Mix

All three varieties will be hitting store shelves in February. Each individual cup retails for $1.65.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Photos courtesy of Duncan Hines.

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