These back-to-school school jokes are clean enough for the classroom

Back-to-school season means saying goodbye to summer and getting ready for the next adventure, which typically includes a lot of gear like cool kids’ backpacks and new playground-ready shoes. But don’t forget to pack some funny school jokes in your kids’ back pockets, too! Our collection is filled with hilarious but cute kids’ jokes about school that will bring on belly laughs. Looking for even more giggles? Check out these extra squeaky clean jokes, printable lunchbox jokes, and math jokes. Get ready to LOL.

School Jokes about School Supplies

1. What does your computer do for lunch?

Has a byte!

2. Why do math books always look so sad?

They are full of problems.

3. Where do pencils go on vacation?

Pencil-vania.

4. What does a book do in the winter?

Puts on a jacket.

5. What did the paper say to the pencil?

Write on!

6. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?

Looking sharp!

7. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Pencil. 

Pencil who?

Never mind, this is pointless. 

8. Why do calculators make great friends?

You can always count on them!

9. Where did the pencil go for vacation?

To Pennsylvania.

10. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  

The thesaurus.

11. Who is the leader of the school supplies? 

The ruler.

12. Did you know all books in the school library are the same color?

They’re all red.

Related: 30+ Math Jokes for Kids That Add Up to Laughs

School Jokes about Teachers

teacher and students laughing at school jokes on the playground
iStock

 

13. What did the student say to the teacher after they missed the first day of school? 

No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all.

14. Why did the kid eat their homework?

Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

15. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

Because their students were so bright.

16. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?

Times Square!

17. Why did the teacher jump into the pool?

They wanted to test the water.

18. What would happen if the dean lost their job?

They would lose his “ideanity.”

—Joshua Y.

19. What are 10 things a teacher can always count on? 

Their fingers.

20. What does an English teacher like to eat for breakfast? 

Synonym rolls.

Related: 12 Printable Lunchbox Jokes to Brighten Your Student’s Day

Kids’ Jokes about School

little boy laughing at school jokes for kids
iStock

 

21. Why isn’t there a clock in the library?

Because it tocks too much.

22. What did the buffalo say at drop off?

Bison.

23. How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

24. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because they wanted to go to high school.

25. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

26. What should you grow in a school garden?

Human beans!

27. Why do magicians always do so well at school?

They can handle trick questions.

28. Where do surfers go to school?

Boarding school.

29. What is the smartest insect?

A spelling bee.

30. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they keep getting lost at C.

31. Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane?

To achieve a higher education.

32. Why didn’t the fish go on vacation?

Because they were always in school.

33. Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

34. What did the spider make online?

A website!

35. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

36. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?

Sky diving school.

37. What contest do skunks win at school?

The smelling bee!

38. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?

It’s not right.

39. What does a snake learn in school?

Hisssss-tory.

Related: 40+ Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes for Kids

These Laxota recipes will appeal to everyone at your table this holiday season

November is Native American Heritage Month and it’s an important opportunity to recognize and honor the original inhabitants of North America. Help kids (and their grown-ups) make that connection by filling their tummies with indigenous cuisine. These Native American recipes are also great for cooking with kids. We caught up with Chef Kimberly Tilsen-Brave Heart of Etiquette Catering in Rapid City, SD for some mouth-watering menu items that incorporate traditional Lakota ingredients.

“As the original inhabitants of this land, it is important to teach all children the significance of indigenous foods, history, and existence,” says Chef Kimberly Tilsen-Brave Heart. “We all reside upon the ancestral lands of indigenous people.”

With full recipes below, Chef Tilsen-Brave Heart has curated a special menu for Native American Heritage Month and beyond. The following mouth-watering dishes incorporate ingredients like pumpkin and bison, which are major food staples for the Lakota people. You’ll also find foods like cranberries and rice that are also indigenous ingredients.

Magic Pumpkin Squash Soup

Magic pumpkin squash soup is a Native American recipe from the Lakota nation.
Etiquette Catering

Ingredients:

  • 1 large butternut squash

  • 1 tbsp. garlic powder

  • Kosher salt

  • Black pepper

  • Olive oil

  • 1 stick of butter

  • 1 medium yellow onion

  • 1 can organic pumpkin puree

  • 2 cups coconut milk

  • 4 cups chicken broth or vegetable stock

  • Roasted pumpkin seeds (for topping)

Instructions:

  1. Roast a large peeled and cubed butternut squash at 425 degrees for 20 minutes.

  2. Sprinkle with 1 tbsp of garlic powder, sprinkle kosher salt, and cracked black pepper

  3. Toss with olive oil and put in on a baking sheet before putting in the oven

  4. 1 stick of butter melted with a chopped medium yellow onion, sprinkle with some salt until translucent.

  5. Add 1 can of organic pumpkin puree

  6. Add 2 cups of coconut milk

  7. Add 4 cups of chicken broth or vegetable stock

  8. Add the roasted butternut squash

  9. Simmer for 30 minutes

  10. Then blend with an immersion blender

  11. Top with roasted pumpkin seeds

 

Related: 10 Ways to Honor Native American Heritage Month with Your Kids 

Wild Rice, Cranberry, and Bison Stuffed Mushrooms

Etiquette Catering

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb ground bison

  • 1 lb Italian sausage

  • 3 tbsp. butter

  • 1 yellow onion

  • 6-8 baby portabella mushrooms

  • Qtr. cup dried cranberries

  • 1 cup wild rice {optional: purchase wild rice from: https://redlakenationfoods.com}

  • 2 cups bone broth or vegetable stock

  • Olive oil

  • Kosher salt 

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

  2. Melt 3 tbsp. of butter with a half-chopped yellow onion Sauté

  3. Wash and clean 6-8 baby portabellas remove stems and chop add to the butter and yellow onion

  4. Add qtr. cup of dried cranberries

  5. Add 1 cup of wild rice, and continue to saute all together (you are popping the wild rice, so it will become fragrant)

  6.  Add 2 cups of bone broth or vegetable stock, lower heat, and cover to simmer; set timer for 25 minutes

  7.  In another pan saute  2 tbsp of butter and the other half of your chopped yellow onion, cook until translucent

  8. Add 1 lb of ground bison, 1 lb of Italian sausage, and 1 tbsp of garlic 

  9. Cook until brown over medium heat 

  10. Add wild rice and bison mixture together

  11. Drizzle olive oil and sprinkle kosher salt over portabellas 

  12. Stuff with bison wild rice mixture

  13. Bake for 15 minutes; serve warm

Related: 13 Children’s Books That Celebrate Native American Cultures & Authors

Bison Stew

bison stew is a Native American recipe from the Lakota nation.
Etiquette Catering

Ingredients:

  • 2 lbs buffalo meat

  • 3-4 tbsp. olive oil 

  • 1 tbsp. garlic powder

  • 2 tbsp. kosher salt

  • 1 tsp. black pepper

  • 1 tsp. paprika

  • 1/2 tsp. turmeric

  • 3-4 bay leaves 

  • Mirepoix (chopped onions, carrots, celery)

  • 6-8 cups of beef broth/stock or water

  • 6-8 russet potatoes

Instructions:

  1. Braise 2 lbs of Buffalo meat (1-inch cubes) with half an onion (fine chop), in a warmed stockpot with 3-4 tbsp. olive oil 

  2. Spice 1 tbsp. garlic powder, 2 tbsp. kosher salt, 1 tsp. black pepper, 1 tsp. paprika, 1/2 tsp. turmeric, and 3-4 bay leaves 

  3. After browned, add Mirepoix (chopped onions, carrots, celery), and a can of diced tomatoes 

  4. Add 2 cups of water or stock/broth and simmer on medium-low heat for 30-45 mins or until tender. (Stir occasionally, more water or stick/broth may be needed) times will vary with the size of the meat and location

  5. When meat is tender add 6-8 cups of beef broth/stock or water and bring back to boil 6-8 russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces or bigger 

  6. Cook an additional 15-20 minutes until potatoes are fork-tender 

  7. Remove from heat and let stand for 10-15 minutes, serve

Related: 7 Places to Visit to Responsibly Experience Native American Culture

Buffalo, Cranberry, and Wild Rice Meatballs with Blackberry Wojape

Etiquette Catering

Ingredients:

Meatballs

  • 1 lb Buffalo (Can be substituted with beef)

  • 1/4 lb Italian Sausage

  • 1 cup Wild Rice

  • 1/2 cup Yellow Onion

  • 3 cups of Chicken Bone broth

  • 1/2 cup Rehydrated Cranberries

  • 2 Tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce

  • 1/4 cup Breadcrumbs (optional)

  • 1 egg

  • 1 tsp. Salt

  • 1 tsp. Garlic Powder

  • Dash of Paprika

Blackberry Wojape 

  • 1 cup Berries

  • 1 cup Sugar

  • 1 1/2 cups Water

Instructions:

Meatballs

  1. Clean wild rice with cold water 

  2. Saute wild rice with 1/2 cup of yellow onion and some oil for 5 minutes, allowing the rice to gently pop

  3. Add in 3 cups of bone broth per 1 cup of wild rice

  4. Add in rehydrated cranberries, cover, and simmer for 45 minutes 

  5. Add in 1 cup finished wild rice to buffalo 

  6. Add 2 tbsp. of Worcestershire sauce

  7. Add 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs (optional) 

  8. Add 1 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. garlic powder, and a dash of paprika 

  9. Place meatballs on a baking sheet with parchment paper and bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes or until internal temp is 165 degrees

Blackberry Wojape

  1. Add into a pan: 1 cup of berries (of your choosing), 1 cup of sugar, and 1 tbsp. of cornstarch and 1 1/2 cups of water 

  2. Render down for about 10 minutes

  3. Drizzle blackberry wojape on top of the meatballs and enjoy 

 

 

 

While it may seem like there’s nothing easy about travel these days, a winter vacation to Big Sky Resort is pretty high up there on the easy living scale. Gorgeous ski slopes, ziplines through the trees and adventures in Yellowstone are just a few of our favorites. We recently got a chance to check out all that the property (and nearby area) has to offer for families and you’re going to want to check it out for yourself, we know it! Here’s the full scoop.

1. Getting there is easy (and you don't even need to rent a car).
Bozeman Yellowstone International Airport is your closest airport to Big Sky, MT and it's just over an hour from the resort. Save the hassle of renting a car and book a shuttle from the airport. Once you're at the resort, you won't have to deal with the hassle of driving in the snow and you can request a pickup from the bell staff if you need to get around the property (and even into town). 

2. There are so many winter activities on the property, even for non-skiers. 
Skiing is definitely the focus at Big Sky Resort. They have private lessons, a ski school, rental shops and a ski valet for storing your gear. There are 39 chairlifts including Swift Current 6, North America's fastest chairlift (with heated seats!). From beginners riding the magic carpet to expert-level skiers, there's the perfect terrain for your day on the slopes. 

If you want more than skiing, book a guided snowshoeing adventure where you can meander through Moosetrack Gully with your crew. It's perfect for families as you can go as far as you want and take as many breaks as you need. You can then hike the same trail at night when it transforms into the Enchanted Forest (kids love this!). 

3. Winter ziplining is not to be missed!
Yes, that's right, you can zipline even in the winter! Big Sky Resort has two zipline options for families: the shorter Nature Zipline for those weighing in at 45lbs and up, and the Adventure Zipline for older riders with a need for speed. Suited up in your snow boots and snow gear, you'll take a chairlift up to start your descent through the trees and over the ski runs. The final run has you racing for victory against another zipliner—what a rush! Definitely put this one on your list of must-do activities. 

4. Dining options galore.
One of the best features of Big Sky Resort is all of the dining options that are available. Here are our favorites: 

  • Our top pick for lunch like you've never had before is Everett's 8800. Ride the Ramcharger 8 lift up the mountain for unbelievable views served alongside Alpine-inspired dishes like French onion soup and upscale grilled cheese. Kids are totally welcome here and they'll especially love the spaghetti bolognese. The hot toddy is just what you need to experience the full aprés vibe. 
  • Vista Hall offers the perfect ski day break with loads of options like pizza, ramen, tacos and burgers served cafeteria style. 
  • We loved the casual dinner scene at Westward Social where plates were shareable and the craft cocktail fresh and delicious. 
  • Hungry Moose is your on-site mini grocery store with Montana souvenirs, local brews, hot cocoa, cereal and more. In addition to the location on the property, you can place an online order for pickup at the location in town, making it easy to stock your condo's kitchen when you arrive. 
  • We didn't get to try it during our visit, but we heard that the Montana Dinner Yurt is an experience that families love. 

Big Sky Lodge

5. Accommodations at Big Sky Resort are designed with families in mind.
If there's one thing that always comes with a winter ski vacation and that is all the STUFF. Make it easy on yourself and book a condominium or cabin at Big Sky Resort so that you family has plenty of room to spread out and a spot for all the gear at the end of the day. We stayed in a three-bedroom Big Horn condo during our stay and it had a full kitchen, downstairs king bedroom with bath, upstairs queen bedroom with bath and third bedroom/bath combo that had a queen plus bunk bed. It really was ideal to come back to after a long day in the snow as everyone had space to spread out and you could cook up breakfast in the morning instead of carting everyone off to a restaurant. Highly recommend! 

The resort has all kinds of accommodations available from traditional hotel rooms to full houses (many with ski-in, ski-out access). Bell staff is available 24 hours to take you and your ski gear from your rental to the slopes, downtown to dinner or even to the airport if needed. 

6. Yellowstone is just a short drive away.
Do yourself a favor and put a winter visit to Yellowstone on your list. The park is closed to everyone except those arriving via snowcoach or snowmobile so you'll get a totally unique view of this majestic national park. During our visit we had a cab take us to West Yellowstone where we met up with our snowcoach tour. This bus with oversize snow tires took us to view all of the hot spots including Old Faithful, Biscuit Basin and lots of stops for bison and bald eagle spotting. Lunch was included and the kids absolutely loved it! The parents loved that they didn't have to plan anything and could just sit back and enjoy the day. 

There's something about hiking through the snow to check out stinky, bubbling geothermal features like geysers, mudpots and fumaroles that really gets kids excited. And seeing a bison right out your window? Priceless!

For more information about all there is to do at Big Sky Resort during the winter (and summer too), check out bigskyresort.com. Additional information about nearby activities like dogsledding and additional dining options can be found at visitbigsky.com

Big Sky Resort
Big Sky, MT
Online: bigskyresort.com

—story and images by Kate Loweth

Editor’s note: This trip was paid for by Big Sky Resort and Visit Big Sky, but all opinions belong to the writer. 

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National parks are hot this summer. Last year 15 parks set a new recreation visitation record and five broke a record they set in 2019, according to NPS data. With parks fully reopened and travel skyrocketing, it might be tough to get away from the crowds, but a new campaign from the National Park Service gives you insider tips for making the most of your family’s visit.

“Plan Your Vacation Like a Park Ranger” features advice from actual park rangers, who share their knowledge for a memorable trip. To bag that trail you’ve been dreaming about and/or avoid an unpleasant encounter between your toddler and a wild animal, read on!

  1. Have a plan…and a backup plan. Use the National Parks website to research in advance and be prepared for unpredictable weather, trail closures or lines. Sometimes the backup is even better than the original!
  2. Be patient with each other and us. Park rangers are people too. The NPS is reminding guests that those who are not fully vaccinated must wear a mask indoors and in crowded spaces.
  3. Travel off the beaten path. Did you know there’s an advanced search feature that will let you find parks or national monuments closest to you? There are more than 400 to choose from, after all!
  4. Reservations may be needed. Especially at the bigger parks, where you’ll need a reservation ticket for Arches’ popular Fiery Furnace hike, for example.
  5. Ask a ranger. They’re the experts on their parks and they’re happy to help!
  6. Explore the new NPS app. Download this in advance of your trip (it even works offline)!
  7. Keep safety in the picture. You might have to wait a minute for that perfect photo opp, so resist the urge to put yourself in danger to get one for the ‘Gram.
  8. Don’t pet the fluffy cows. Bison, in case you were wondering. And that applies to all other wildlife in the park too! Keep your distance and never feed them to keep everyone a safe and happy camper.
  9. Leave only footprints. Pack it in, pack it out. Stay on the trail. Basically, leave everything the way you found it for future generations to enjoy.
  10. Ruffing it? Parks vary on their pet policies: some let you bring them on the trails, some require that they stay at the campground and some prohibit pets. Research in advance and remember, some have kennel options too!

You’ll find even more tips from individual parks all summer long by following the hashtag #PlanLikeAParkRanger across social media. The National Park Service official Instagram account is an especially good (and humorous) place to start. Parks are for the people and we can’t wait to see the epic trips you take!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Kylie Kirkland

 

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The Best National Parks to Visit with Kids (& the Airbnbs to Book When You Do)

Did you know that this year Golden Gate Park celebrates its 150th anniversary? We are so excited to have things opening up in GGP so that we can finally celebrate what a treasure this 1,000+ acre park is to the Bay Area. The observation wheel is finally opening up, the museums are ready for visitors and there are tons of things to do with the kids in Golden Gate Park!

The SkyStar Observation Wheel Is FINALLY Open!

SkyStar

If you've visited Golden Gate Park this summer, you've likely seen the building of the massive SkyStar Observation Wheel on the lawn near the Conservatory of Flowers. This Ferris wheel was brought to GGP as part of the 150th anniversary celebration and is finally opening on October 21. 

Standing 150 feet in the Music Concourse, the state-of-the-art SkyStar Observation Wheel features 36  enclosed temperature-controlled gondolas, boasting unparalleled views from downtown San Francisco  to the Pacific Ocean. Health and safety modifications to prevent the spread of COVID-19 will be  maintained including thorough sanitizing of all gondolas between each use; a limit of one household per gondola; social distancing in queues; onsite handwashing; and temperature testing for staff.

Tickets are $18/adults and $12/seniors (65+) and kids 12 and under. A VIP ride experience in a specially designed gondola, offering a longer ride and more amenities, is available at $50/person. The real benefit of the VIP ticket is that you don't have to wait in the check-in line.

Pro tip: The observation wheel lights up at night so plan an early evening adventure. That way you'll avoid roasting in the gondola when the sun is beating down, and you'll get to see the lights. 

Get your tickets here

5 New Baby Bison Joined the GGP Herd

Earlier this spring, five new baby bison joined the GGP herd and you can check them out via the park's two webcams. The bison webcams offer a rare opportunity to observe the all-female herd as five longtime residents—Betsy, Bailey, Bellatrix, Buttercup, and Bambi—get to know their five young roommates, 1-year-olds acquired in March in honor of Golden Gate Park’s 150th anniversary.  Among the youngsters is Sesqui, a bison named for the park’s sesquicentennial who sports an ear tag number of 150. Bison gear is available at the Welcome Center and you can find free Bison activities here

 

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Bike, Walk or Stroll Down JFK Drive

As a part of San Francisco's Slow Streets program, Golden Gate Park has become virtually car-free from one end of the park to the other, from Stanyan Street at the east end of the park, to Ocean Beach and the Great Highway at the west end. That means you can walk, ride your bikes, roller skate or run right on the street! Families with kids aged 12 and up can also book a Segway tour through the park. 

Check out the full info and map here.

Koret Children’s Quarter Playground Is Open

With San Francisco's playgrounds recently reopening to the public, families are thrilled that they can once again take advantage of GGP's Koret Children's Quarter. The mother of all playgrounds, on a Saturday mid-morning this is not for the faint-of-heart. It’s big, there’s a ton to do and it’s busy. (The din of children squealing with delight almost drowns out the drums of Hippie Hill). Try out the cement slides—one of the few remnants of the vintage playground that once stood here (bring scrap cardboard). The playground also includes one of the tallest climbing structures in the park circuit, a water feature and sand that mix together for a messily awesome good time and a carousel! Restrooms are just past the carousel.

 

Visit California Academy of Sciences

Kate Loweth

Advanced reservations are required when you visit the Cal Academy as they are limited to 25% building capacity to ensure social distancing. They are opening for members Oct. 13-22 and thereafter for non-members. Find their COVID-19 protocols here

See What's on View at the de Young

de Young Museum

The de Young museum is now open for visitors with timed tickets available via online reservation. You'll definitely want to check out the Frida Kahlo: Appearances Can Be Deceiving exhibit while you are there. It's on exhibit through February and your timed ticket to the exhibit also gets you access to the permanent galleries. In celebration of the de Young museum’s 125th anniversary, the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco are hosting The de Young Open, a juried community art exhibition of submissions by artists who live in the nine Bay Area counties. Artworks by over 750 Bay Area artists will be on view in a unique wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling presentation and you can check them out with your general admission. 

Tickets to the de Young include free same-day admission to the Legion of Honor. Kids 12 and under are free but still need to have a timed entry ticket. Through Dec. 2021, frontline and essential workers will get free admission. Every Saturday the de Young offers free general admission to all residents of the nine Bay Area counties with a timed reservation required. Note: the deYoungsters Studio and the observation deck are currently closed. Find their COVID-19 protocols here.

Visit the San Francisco Zoo

Marianne Hale

Kids of all ages will be thrilled to hear that the SF Zoo is back open for visitors! The Little Puffer Railroad has recently reopened (with a max of 18 riders) and you'll definitely want to book your tickets for this year's Sloth-oween, a brand-new Halloween festival at the zoo. Dress in your costumes and enjoy a self-guided walk around the zoo to find our five sloth-themed haunted houses, including “Franken-sloth’s Fort,” where you will learn some creepy facts about sloths.

Cruise through the Conservatory of Flowers

WolfmanSF via Wikimedia Commons

The Conservatory of Flowers has reopened at 25% capacity and we are thrilled we can visit again! It will continue to be free every first Tuesday of the month. Face coverings are required at all times and visitors must follow a one-way path through the conservatory. Find their COVID-19 protocols here. 

 

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Stop and Smell the Flowers at the San Francisco Botanical Garden

The SF Botanical Garden has reopened and on-site enrichment activities are starting. Bean Sprout Family Days are back and you must make a reservation for this in advance. The Garden continues to be free on the second Tuesday of every month, from 7:30-9 a.m. daily and at all times for San Francisco residents. Find their COVID-19 protocols here

COMING IN DECEMBER: Visit "Entwined" in Golden Gate Park

San Francisco Recreation and Park Department

An art installation coming to Golden Gate Park will transform Peacock Meadow into an enchanted forest of otherworldly shapes and ever-changing light. “Entwined,” by San Francisco artist Charles Gadeken, will honor Golden Gate Park’s 150th Anniversary. Dec. 1-Feb. 28. 

More info: tinybeans.go-vip.net

—Kate Loweth

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It’s time to dust off the driving gloves and say sayonara to the city because a just-opened drive-through adventure is calling. It’s a close encounter of the animal kind, where you and the kids, tucked safely in your car, get up close and personal with bison, moose and caribou who are roaming free. Start your engines!

Buckle Up

courtesy Northwest Trek

Northwest Trek’s Wild Drive is probably the most fun your fam will have in the car this year. The new program gives families a chance to be part of a car caravan that travels through the park’s 435-acre Free-Roaming Area. Each guided tour is led by an experienced naturalist, who shares entertaining tidbits and facts via an app you download to your phone. That’s right, you’ll have all the educational entertainment your kids need piped right to your car. Plan to spend about an hour on this all-car-all-the-time tour you won’t soon forget.

Shift into Gear

courtesy Northwest Trek

As you make your way through the grassy meadows and forested hillsides, the kids should be on the lookout for the eight Pacific Northwest native animals that call the park home. We’re talking Roosevelt elk, mountain goats, caribou, big horn sheep and elusive moose that take a keen eye to spot. Don’t forget the bison, who always seem to steal the show. They love to sit close to the road and pose for pictures. Who knows, with the springtime baby boom, you might even spy a bison calf close to mom along the way. The cars will move slowly through the grounds so you’ll have plenty of time to see the animals that are out and about. Clearly the hardest part of this trip is deciding which parent has to drive and keep their eyes on the road.

Safety First

Sean O-Neill via flickr creative commons

Be reassured this adventure puts health and safety first, as every aspect can be no-contact, if you choose. Tickets are purchased in advance online, and are shown to an attendant through your car window. Staff will wear masks (you can too!), and stay socially distanced from cars. And other than a possible pit stop, there’s no need to get out of the car or come in contact with anyone other than your car mates.

What to Bring

courtesy Northwest Trek

Unlike a typical visit to Northwest Trek, this adventure is all about car time, and that means being prepared. Put food and drink at the top of your list, as eating while you make your way through the park is totally fine (just don’t feed the animals). Hand sanitizer, masks and any other safety items you would normally pack during this time come next. Finally, plan some silly road trip games and activities to keep the kids busy on the way down and back.

Pit Stop

courtesy Northwest Trek

If your crew needs a break from car time, consider packing a picnic or getting out for an easy hike. For a picnic, try Spanaway Park, just off of Highway 7, outside Tacoma. It sits along a lake, so you can eat with a view, and there’s plenty of room to stretch your legs. Remember restrooms and playground equipment are closed here. Families can also check out Nisqually State Park, a little beyond Northwest Trek. It’s a smaller, little-known state park, so socially distancing along the riverside trails should be a cinch. Remember to pack your Discover Pass for this one.

Good to know:
1. Cell reception can be spotty at the park, so download mobile tickets and the audio app you need for the tour to your device before you head out.

2. Plan to arrive 15-20 minutes before your tour starts. There’s no joining the group once they’ve departed.

3. Families will have limited access to restrooms at the park before and after the tour.

4. Car capacity maxes out at eight people for this experience.

5. Some time slots are already sold out, so if you want in, get your tickets soon.

11610 Trek Dr. E.
Eatonville, WA
360-832-6117
Online: nwtrek.org

Days: daily, starting May 27, 2020
Hours: 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
Cost: $70/vehicle, members; $80/vehicle, non-members

—Allison Sutcliffe

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Every kid wants to know what the Wild West was really like. You can let yours experience it for themselves on your next family vacation. Cheyenne is filled with opportunities to transport your crew back in time to the days when cowboys and girls frolicked on the wide-open frontier. From feeding bison, to horseback adventures and gunslinger shows, a trip to Cheyenne is guaranteed to ignite your young buckaroos’ imaginations and have them shouting, “Yee Haw!”, all the way home. Read on for our guide to Wyoming’s capital city Y’all.

STAY

Finding the perfect outpost for your Cheyenne adventures is key to and epic western experience. There is no better place for your posse than Little America. This resort features a golf course, pool and cozy suites that make you feel at home.

Set down your lasso and pick up your putter for a round of nine holes on Little America’s executive golf course. Surrounded by 80-acres of landscaped terrain, you get your game on while taking in the local wildlife. When you are done, head to the clubhouse and take a break.

While you’ll surely want to explore Cheyenne’s food scene, Little America has several restaurant options on site. Hathaway’s Restaurant is considered one of Cheyenne’s premier restaurants and serves up a popular lunch buffet, dinner and Sunday Brunch with an elegant approach to classic western comfort foods. Parents can relax in Hathaway’s lounge and enjoy an evening cocktail. For a quick bite and coffee, Carol’s Cafe serves up pastries and 75 cent ice cream cones.

When you aren’t golfing, swimming or dining, you can relax in your beautifully appointed suite. The rooms at Little America are known for being extremely spacious and extra comfortable. There’s more than enough room for the whole family to get comfortable. Located on a campus-like setting, your family isn’t likely to experience cabin fever, even during an extended stay.

PLAY

Cowboy & Cowgirl Up!
The first thing you need to do when you hit Cheyenne is head to the iconic The Wrangler store. It’s been around since 1982 selling ranch and western wear. Here you’ll not only find clothing you’ll love, but you can pick your own cowboy or cowgirl hat from their skylit hat room with its nearly 500 hats! Once you know which one you want, you can have it shaped and fit to your head. Now you are truly ready for adventure.

Go to the Ranch
There are so many adventures to be had in Cheyenne, it’s challenging to know where to start. We suggest kicking off your frontier adventure with a trip to Terry Bison Ranch. The Ranch offers families a variety of unforgettable adventures. We suggest hopping on their train for a Bison Train Tour that takes you around the ranch. Your trip includes a chance to see ostriches, camels, and horses. The highlight is a chance to hand-feed bison! It’s likely the closest you’ll ever get to these amazing beasts.

When you are done with the tour, go for a a horseback or pony ride. Or, hop on an ATV for a motorized adventure. The ranch also has a fishing post and a shop with memorabilia that you can purchase. Then grab a bite at the Tombstone cafe.

Outdoor Adventures.
There are so many places to explore in Cheyenne. Scenic hikes are abundantNearby, Gowdy State Park has miles and miles of beautiful trail and three reservoirs that are perfect for fishing and boating. The Vedauwoo Recreation Area  is home to trails that wander through towering rock formations that draw climbers and campers from around the nation. So strap on your hiking boots or grab your mountain bikes and get ready for incredible outdoor adventures.

While you are exploring the outdoors, don’t forget to checkout some of the area’s coolest sites, like the Lincoln Highway Monument (a giant head of Lincoln) which marks what was once the highest point of the Lincoln Highway. And did you know that there is a pyramid in Wyoming? Only a short distance away, you can see the Ames Brothers Pyramid which stands on a treeless plateau as a reminder of the Ames Brothers’ sordid tale as both a Union Pacific’s president and a corrupt congressman. It’s an exciting story and awesome site.

Catch a Show
From gunslingers to melodramas, there’s no shortage of family-friendly entertainment. But we suggest getting your first dose of fun on the local Trolley Tour where you can learn all about the history of Cheyenne. The wild west tours are sure to hold even your youngest family members’ attention. With guides who know how to tell a tale they way they did sitting around a campfire after a long day on the frontier.

It wouldn’t be the Wild West without a gunslinger shoot out! And you can see one every day in downtown Cheyenne. Your hole family will be on the edge of their seats as they watch the small battles go down, but the best part of the whole event is the very serious lesson on gun safety they outlaws and lawmen give prior to each show. They speak specifically to the kiddos in the audience.

For a whole lot of family fun, head to the Historic Atlas Theater where you can catch a variety of shows year-round. From melodramas to classics like Beauty & the Beast. There’s something to see year-round.

EAT
Get ready to fill your bellies with some serious western fare while you’re in Cheyenne because the eatin’s good! Ok, so not all of the food is western focused, but all of the eateries are amazing. We suggest starting your day at the beloved Tortilla Factory with a filling breakfast burrito made with hand-made tortillas. When lunch rolls around, you want to head over to the Bunkhouse where you can feast on swinging sirloins (RMO), sandwiches, 1855 burgers! The menu items are traditional and taste like home-cookin.

For an upscale meal, you’ll want to heat to the Metropolitan where you can order from menu items like Ahi Sashimi, the Met Filet, and a stuffed portabella mushroom burger. Another incredible dinner options is the Rib & Chop House where you can dine on fried green tomatoes, grilled oysters, and your kids will love the chicken and pasta dishes. If you find you need a little break from traditional menu items, head to Napoli’s Italian restaurant where you will find lots of pasta dishes and home-made bread! You will not be disappointed!

The wild west was a time of great adventure on the wide-open frontier. There’s no better way to teach your young’uns about the history of America, and what it was really like as our great country was coming to be what it is today, than by taking them to where the old lifestyle and it’s traditions are being preserved and remembered daily. A vacation to Cheyenne is sure to leave its impression on your whole family, while giving you a family adventure of a lifetime.

—Annette Benedetti

Special thanks to Visit Cheyenne for assistance with accommodations and entertainment. All opinions here expressed are the writer’s own. 

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It is a Thursday in May, and my teenage son Oakley and I have cut school and work for the day and are headed off to bike the Cape Cod Rail Trail. It is a 50-mile-long, paved, flat trail connecting Hyannis to Wellfleet, surrounded by beautiful lakes, nationally-acclaimed seashores, and miles of pine forest. Oakley has been especially naughty lately and this outing counts as being grounded. Time with his parents, away from the influences of social media, friends, and bad patterns often helps him regroup. First, we need to bike to the Portland Gear Hub to pick up a rack. Twain, my husband, will pick us up there and drive down with us the rest of the way.

As we navigate our bikes through Portland, I accidentally stop short at an intersection, and Oakley screeches to a halt with his front tire nearly kissing my rear. “Mom, why did you do that?” he yells, both scared and furious.

“Because I didn’t want to get hit by that truck. I am sorry.” 

“This is so stupid. I don’t know why we have to do this. You are the worst biker.”

The tirade continues as we navigate our way up Washington Avenue, weaving in an out of construction mayhem, and clouds of grit and sand kicked up in the wind from the road work. This seems to add fury to Oakley’s mood. “This was your idea, this whole bike thing. I never wanted to do it. I won’t go!” he yells over the sound of jackhammers and traffic. His biking is becoming more erratic, and I realize that we need to deal with this before we get to the shop and attempt to be socially appropriate. I pull into a parking lot and signal for him to join me and park his bike. We sit on a curb a bit away from the road. 

“This is just dumb,” he mutters. “Why can’t I be like other kids and just go to high school. I don’t like biking, you do.”

I feel defeated, but I sit there and listen. This isn’t the first time that Oakley had voiced anger over the choices we have made as parents. His fury over having to participate in sports, play an instrument, attend forced-family-fun activities, and do homework, comes on hot and fast. I want to validate him, but I am also aware that he would likely opt out of all structured activities if given a choice and partake solely in what we call Idiot Glee—when his physical activities rise to a hysterical pitch. We try to make room for this in his life to an extent, but as Twain frequently says, “Oakley needs a firm hand on the tiller.” 

Once again, I take the time to explain to Oakley why we are taking this trip and all the benefits. Getting away from the jackhammering and construction seems to quiet him as much as my words. 

I am not sure he can completely comprehend that this isn’t “just a bike trip,” and it isn’t just for me. I am afraid of this bike trip. Afraid to leave my family and the comfort of my home. Afraid to close my business and have to reinvent a career when we return. Afraid of camping alone with him for three months. But I am more afraid of not going. 

As Oakley transitions solidly into a teenager, the repercussions for his impulsive behavior and emotional deregulation take on a new weight. We need to break some patterns to help him reach adulthood healthy and intact. It isn’t always pretty and can seem controlling and heavy-handed to some but, when you are trying to lasso a runaway bull, you can’t pussyfoot around it. 

It isn’t long before his fury subsides and he is able to acknowledge that getting away from schedules, rushing, and lists, and the idea of perhaps biking by bison, rather than orange cones and blaring horns, does sound intriguing. He can even voice that he is struggling to make good decisions. Eventually, he cools down enough to continue on to the shop. 

We arrive at the Gear Hub, and I begin talking to Bryan about bike racks. Oakley wanders about fingering stoves, tents, panniers and associated touring gear. “Mom, look at this!” he calls again and again as he notices all the little accouterments that would be good to have on our trip. Before I know it, his mood has swung 180 degrees, and he is exclaiming about how fun it will be to start our adventure. Life with him is an emotional rollercoaster and often leaves me exhausted.

When we finally arrive at the Cape Cod Rail Trail, Oakley takes off like a rocket, as I knew he would. His legs power up and down, and he quickly outdistances me. A flock of wild turkeys has congregated on the path. The males have their tales fanned, out and the females are coquettishly prancing around them. Again, Oakley must screech to a halt. “Look at the turkeys,” he calls. I zoom up behind him. As I do, a rabbit is flushed out from the bushes and joins the turkeys. It freezes long enough for us to marvel at its huge, white fluffy tail and twitchy whiskers. “He is so cute!” Oakley has obviously forgotten how much he hates biking. “This is awesome! I am going to see how many miles I can go no-handed.” He is off again. The dark fury inside him has been extinguished as he moves through the outdoors burning his energy and feeling amazed by what he encounters. He cycles one and one-half miles no-handed with panache. 

How many times will he shout at me during our cross-America bike adventure “This is the worst idea!”? How many times will he insist he is quitting? Probably as many times as he will say, as he did while we ate our ice cream along the Rail Trail, looking out at the ocean and watching the ships roll by, “This is really fun. My bike is awesome. Watch me do a backflip from that rock.”

And maybe, it will help us figure out a lot more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beginning in August 2019, my son Oakley and I will cycle across America over the course of three months. Oakley is a spirited 15-year-old boy who has always struggled to fit into the confines of mainstream culture. I am Leah, his mother—and we are ready for adventure.

 

 

Have your kids turned feral? You may not think so after a trip to the Oakland Zoo. Herd your wild ones and take them on an adventure for a day of animal sightseeing, experiencing native California wildlife, playing at a new playground and going on carnival rides. Read on for the inside scoop to where over 700 native and exotic animals live.

Map Your Visit

A unique trait of Oakland Zoo is that it’s built into the landscape of the Oakland Hills. The landscape is populated with animals that are native to California and from around the world. Keep your eyes open because you might even stumble upon secret trails throughout the zoo. Because of its size, if your kiddos burn energy fast, be sure to bring a stroller or rent one there (single stroller $7; double $9). Given how vast Oakland Zoo is, grab a map at the zoo entrance and mark all the animals that are must see. The map distinguishes each area so you can maximize what type of animal interests your kids the most. It also has a list of feeding times for the animals—the real animals, not your kiddos.

Pro Tip: There are two entrances to the zoo, Main Entrance and Lower Entrance. Map the animals you want to see and pick the parking lot closest to maximize your walking time. The gift store is at the Main Entrance.

Walk The California Trail

This past summer the Oakland Zoo opened its newest addition: the California Trail. Step onto a gondola and take the free (with paid admission) four-minute ride over an ecological recovery zone that’s filled with native plant habitats for local wildlife, including the endangered Alameda Striped Racer snake.

This birds-eye view will give you a 360 outlook of the Bay Area and on a clear day you can see as far as downtown San Francisco. While riding the gondola be sure to keep an eye out below to see the recently-added American bison. And yes, there are even many baby bison calves to see in the herd too!

The gondola will drop you off at the top of a mountain that has a café, playground, overlook and six (soon to be eight) new native California animals including bald eagles, gray wolves, grizzly bears, American black bears and others.

Walk the “California Trail” to the newly-opened playground and watch your kids go wild! This playground has a stream running through it, a rocky mountain to climb, grassy hills to slide down on mats and a mini zip-line. You’ll want to block out a good amount of time for the kids to run and explore here. And don’t be shocked if you see a black bear climb a tree and hangout on a branch from it’s nearby home.

A Real Safari Adventure

A must experience is a ride on the Safari Train that chugs you to Wild Australia—no passport required. The train loops around the home of wallaroos and emus that freely walk around—and yes, they can even walk right up the train. Wild Australia can only be accessed by train, so be sure to buy tickets at Adventure Landing located near the Main Entrance.

Children’s Zoo

The Children’s Zoo, located near the Lower Entrance, is the prefect area for children to roam, explore and play. This area houses a goat and sheep barn where children can pet and brush the animals. If your child is a reptile lover be sure to stop in at the Reptile and Amphibian House. There’s even a special door only for children to enter through.

Keep your eye out for secret trails and a lily pad hop that your children will love skipping around on. But be careful! One small slip and they’ll fall into a shallow pool of water.

Be Amused

If seeing roaring lions, huge elephants and tiny insects isn’t enough excitement stop by Adventure Landing. You can purchase single tickets ($1.75) or a book of 24 tickets ($24) to ride the Safari Train, carousel, small roller coaster and a handful of carnival rides. Be warned, your thrill seeker child may not want to see the rest of the zoo if you start here first!

Parking & Dining

Because of the zoo’s location, be prepared to shell out $10 for paid parking. Also note that pets are not allowed, they are not even permitted to stay in the car.

There are food kiosks studded all over the zoo with meals and snacks. There are three main cafés located near each entrance and one in the California Trail exhibit.

Pro Tip: The café near the main entrance has a special kid’s meal that comes in a zoo-themed container with animal crackers. Kids go crazy for it. You can see the food options here.

Avoid The Crowds

Get a leg-up on the crowds and plan your visit for a weekday morning. Not only will you avoid the masses but you’ll also have a front seat view to see the animals eating their breakfast.

Admission & Hours

General admission: $24/adult; $20/seniors; $20/children 2-14; children under 2 and adults 76 and over are free
Military discount (with current ID): $18/adult; $15/seniors; $15/children 2-14; children under 2 and adults 76 and over are free
Parking: $10 car parking fee; $15 bus parking fee

Members are free and parking is included in membership!

Hours: Entry 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Gondola 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Adventure Landing Rides 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; Contact Yard (in Children’s Zoo) 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; The zoo is closed: Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.

Oakland Zoo
9777 Golf Links Road
Oakland, CA
(510) 632-9525

Online: oaklandzoo.org

photos and story by Tarah Beaven

LEGO lovers know that the sky’s the limit when it comes to building—you can bring any idea to life with those bricks. We’ve rounded up some seriously cool LEGO creations that will have your jaw on the floor, from feats of architecture like the US Capitol to artistic pieces that belong in a museum. Just read on to see what all the fuss is about.

US Capitol

LEGOLAND California

At LEGOLAND California, you’ll find lots of jaw-dropping creations made by master builders. This replica of the US Capitol in Washington D.C. is one of our favorites, complete with a marching band and tourists milling around in front of the building.

Santa Claus

LEGOLAND California

Another gem from LEGOLAND California, you can get up close and personal with Santa and his reindeer during the holiday season. There’s enough room in the sleigh for a memorable photo op.

Brick Builder Waterfall

LEGO

This eye-popping creation can be found at the newly opened LEGO House in Billund, Denmark. The waterfall crashes down into a play area that’s filled with LEGO bricks for visitors to build with. Ahem, excuse us while we book our flights to Denmark.

Dinosaur

LEGO

In LEGO House’s Masterpiece Gallery, you’ll find amazing creations like this one by expert builders. This ferocious dino is just one piece from the gallery’s rotating collection.

Tree of Creativity

LEGO

The Tree of Creativity is the centerpiece of LEGO House, and for a good reason—it’s 50 feet tall and packed with intricate details and fun surprises. Made from more than six million LEGO bricks, this piece is wow-worthy from every angle.

Michelangelo's David

Leon via flickr

Who said you can’t make real art with LEGO bricks? This recreation of Michelangelo’s David sculpture, from the Art of the Brick exhibition in London, is a masterpiece in its own right.

Cherry Pie

Bill Ward via flickr

How funny is this little LEGO cherry pie? Bill Ward created it in celebration of Pi Day, and it (almost) looks good enough to eat.

Giant Wasp

Scott McLeod via flickr

Spotted at Reiman Gardens in Ames, Iowa, this giant wasp is seriously impressive (and a little intimidating). At least no one needs to worry about being stung!

Kids on a Bench

acklee via flickr

This cool sculpture was created for the opening of a new LEGO Store in Edmonton, Canada. We love how it captures the movement of two siblings—spilled ice cream and all.

Lush Jungle

Ian Roberts via flickr

This intricate jungle landscape was on display at BrickCon 2014. With a wooden bridge, hidden pools and a rickety tree house, this creation holds enough details to tell an entire story.

Ironman Hulkbuster vs. Hulk

Heather Paul via flickr

This one's for all the little Avengers fanatics! At Comic-Con 2015, folks got to see an amazing LEGO recreation of the big fight between the Hulk and Ironman’s Hulkbuster armor. It took Master Builders 575 hours to design and build the Hulkbuster, using 78,083 bricks, with another 200 hours and 22,560 bricks to create Mr. “Smash” himself.

Beatles

Simon Q via flickr

The Art of the Brick LEGO exhibition is a can’t miss for LEGO-lovers, and this particular sculpture is ob-la-di ob-la-da amazing. When the exhibition arrived in the UK, visitors were treated to a special section dedicated to British culture—including a life-size model of the Fab Four, crafted by Nathan Sawaya.

Mount Rushmore

Rob Young via flickr

We’d like to think the founding fathers would be fully on board with this tribute. If you ever decide to take your LEGO touring to international levels, don’t miss out on the UK’s LEGOLAND Windsor, where an American monument gets the full building block treatment. It’s the largest model in the park, with a whopping 1.5 million LEGO bricks.

X-Wing Starfighter

Pascal via flickr

Raise your lightsaber if you’re a wannabe Jedi! Star Wars fans and Wookiees alike will be amazed by this out-of-this-world, full-scale X-Wing Fighter, the largest LEGO model in history. At 11 feet tall with a 44-foot wingspan, it’s 42 times the size of the commercial LEGO set you can build at home and was created to promote the animated series The Yoda Chronicles. Super impressive, it is.

Yankee Stadium

Eric via flickr

Take me out to the miniature ballgame, take me out to the crowd! At the 2014 New Jersey Brickfair, people got a chance to see a whole other side of the Yankee Stadium, thanks to LEGO pro Sean Kenney. It was made over the course of three years, with the help of a Manhattan grade schooler, and it even features over 1,700 "microscale people."

Victorians

Fiid Williams via flickr

You might just leave your heart in this LEGOLAND version of San Francisco. If you visit LEGOLAND California, keep an eye out for SF’s famous Victorian Houses. They’re part of a whole San Francisco-scape that includes cable cars, Pier 39 and even the sounds of sea lions.

Bison

Scott McLeod via flickr

Have you herd about these LEGO bison? A few years ago, they were some of 27 amazing LEGO sculptures created by Sean Kenney and a team as part of the touring Nature Connects LEGO exhibit. They started off at Iowa’s Reiman Gardens and will be moving around the country for the next few years, so don’t miss ‘em!

Statue of Liberty

ccho via flickr

Created by Nathan Sawaya and featured in The Art of the Brick exhibition, this Lady Liberty is more than just a still statue. We love how dynamic this LEGO sculpture is—clearly, it was made with a lot of heart.

T-Rex

Simon Q via flickr

How terrific is this T-Rex? It’s yet another highlight of The Art of the Brick exhibition and clocks in at 80,000 LEGO pieces and a 20-foot length. Ol’ Rex also took an entire summer to build, each bone pieced together bit by bit. Talk about a LEGO creation for the history books!

Batman and Gang

Loren Javier via flickr

Holy building blocks, Batman! These life-size LEGO sculptures of the Joker, Batman and Robin were spotted back at the 2013 Comic-Con, which is always chock-full of LEGO reveals and displays.

Eiffel Tower

Jared via flickr

Sin City meets the Sunshine State! Located in LEGOLAND Florida, this Eiffel Tower stands tall at an impressive 13 feet. But instead of a Parisian influence, it's actually part of a LEGO recreation of the Vegas strip that also includes the MGM Grand, the Venetian, and even the iconic balloon sign.

M.C. Escher's "Impossible Staircase"

Andrew Lipson

The creator of this LEGO build, Andrew Lipson, truly got into the topsy-turvy spirit of M.C. Escher's famous Relativity drawing. You can get a glimpse of how this crazy 3D version was constructed by clicking here.

The Star Wars Organ

Lorenz Lnggrtnr

Hoth, Tatooine, Endor and the Death Star are all represented on this musical masterpiece. When the organ is turned, the carefully placed bricks touch mechanical sensors and the iconic Star Wars theme is played. Find out more here.

Woody & Buzz

Pop Culture Geek via Flickr

How do you take a LEGO creation to infinity and beyond? Make it a tribute to one of the best Pixar duos around. The movie versions of these pals may be tiny toys, but in LEGO stores across America, they get the extra-large treatment (Yet another reason to make a trip to your closest LEGO source ...).

Brickley the Sea Serpent

daryl_mitchell via Flickr

Brickley the smiley sea serpent has appeared at many LEGO Stores around the world. Sometimes he's found winding his way in and out of rooms, and until a few years ago, he hung out in the waters of Disney World. He's made of over 170,000 blocks and even inspired a fun mini version.

— Abigail Matsumoto & Susie Foresman

 

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