ML Interest Tag: bitter

I Was in a Dark Place & This Became My Lifeline

By Melissa Bernstein

Having built a toy company over three decades with my best friend and husband, Doug, and experiencing the joy of unleashing the imaginations of children through open-ended play, most would think that my life was all fun and games. After all, we had achieved the very definition of “The American Dream” with every shiny bauble to show for it. And along the way, Doug and I also created six beautiful children who were the very essence of the boisterous family I had always imagined. I had absolutely no reason to be unhappy, I truly had it all.

But the truth was, that for as long as I could remember, I suffered a crisis of meaning that I learned to hide from the world. This sense of futility was so overwhelming, that the only way I could survive was by disassociating from all feelings and denying who I was. And since I would never fit in as myself, I turned to validation through achieving academic perfection to attain the acceptance I so deeply craved. I became who I thought the world wanted me to be to the point where I didn’t even know who I truly was.

As I reached middle age, I finally learned that my lifelong anguish had a name: existential depression. And furthermore, those experiencing existential depression were often highly creative and had intense levels of reactivity in their central nervous systems called over-excitabilities. And this realization was life-changing, because for the first time in my life, I saw I wasn’t alone and there were actually others just like me. I knew that the only way I would access peace was to stop racing outside myself for answers and embark on a journey inward to self-acceptance. That journey was so profound and revelatory, that I knew my purpose was to help others find their pathways out of despair in transforming darkness into light. Here are some of the steps that brought me to writing my memoir LifeLines: An Inspirational Journey from Profound Darkness to Radiant Light, and creating our LifeLines ecosystem to offer community and impactful content to others!

1. Embrace Yourself in Totality
Society tells us to dry our tears and “be strong.” But when we do, we are denying who we are and what we feel. And that prevents us from living authentically.  Once we come to see that this facade we adopt ultimately leaves us bereft and bitter, we begin to shed that pretension and access the space necessary to truly grow.

2. Accept That We All Need Lifelines
Once I completed my journey and accepted myself in totality, I realized that every day wouldn’t be an easy ride. In fact, many days would be on the dark side of the emotional spectrum! I, therefore, needed a practice to keep me “safe and sane” when I began to plunge below the line of equanimity.

3. Lifelines Are Essential in Three Different Areas
My personal practice of engaging LifeLines involved three distinct areas: self-care, tools, and passions/play. Self-care LifeLines involve the deliberate intention to take care of our minds and bodies. These may seem obvious to many, but for me required making a choice every single day to stay strong. They include eating nourishing food, sleeping 7 hours a night, and exercising in nature. Tools for me include reciting mantras, going to therapy, being mindful in everything I do, and offering myself compassion when my head starts to berate me. The activities and hobbies that bring us joy are the essence of life and move us squarely into our hearts. For me they include writing verses, crafting, photographing nature, listening to music, and drinking tea.

4. Engage in a Deliberate Practice 
Just like a diabetic takes insulin to remain healthy, I must also commit to engaging my LifeLines each and every day to remain steadfast. And that means EVERY SINGLE DAY. If we don’t have our practice fully honed during our more contented times, then it won’t be routine when the journey becomes arduous. A practice MUST be practiced no matter the weather, your mood or your circumstances.

5. Find a Community That Supports You
We created LifeLines.com to build a community showing others that “they are not alone.” When we construct a supportive structure around us, we are better able to shine our light and live authentically. We learn from others’ experiences, embrace our uniqueness, and develop the tenacity to keep forging ahead when life throws us curveballs. The community we have forged has already become a lifeline to so many, including me. I am so grateful to have discovered no higher purpose than supporting others to channel their darkness into light and find meaning. And the more our community can help others heal themselves and share their truth, then the more they will do the same for others and make this world a more loving place.

 

Melissa Bernstein, Co-Founder of Melissa & Doug Toys and mother of six, shared her lifelong battle with existential depression and anxiety in her memoir, LifeLines. She and her husband Doug have developed LifeLines.com, a digital ecosystem to support others on their own inward journeys. Melissa lives in Connecticut with Doug and their children. 

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Why Some Marriages Fail: My Experience Revealed

By Pedro Odubayo Thompson

My marriage, like any other, started on an excellent footing. It began with hope and great expectation, and there were love and friendship. We were two young people taking this marriage journey together. Because we were different in every respect despite the effort to become united in spirit and flesh, we still saw things from a divergent perspective. That’s not surprising as we had a completely different upbringing and background.

Could it be that the essentials that make a healthy and successful marriage (the strings that bind the package together) were completely missing in my marriage?

I must confess that some of these elements probably were carelessly handled. Was there a lack of communication, patience, humility, forgiveness, time commitment, faithfulness, honesty, and trust? All leading to an inevitable failed marriage? Probably so.

As far as I’m concerned, as the husband and breadwinner, I thought I was doing my best to make sure my family didn’t lack anything. But by so doing, I missed spending quality time with my wife, and that was a problem in itself. I don’t want to paint myself as a saint because they say it takes two to tango and the fault should be shared by both parties, for that reason, I should be partly blamed. If I was more mature maybe I would have handled many situations much better. Indeed, being ready to be more patient, humble, and able to forgive. Doing so would have solved many problems that later became a thorn in my side.

The breakup was very devastating for me, most especially with the children at the center of it all. They say when two elephants fight the grass suffers. My children weren’t the only ones who were affected by this turmoil because I was also caught in the middle as well. It caused me to weep in the open and in secret. I missed their warmth and everything else about my children, which caused me to become depressed and created other health problems that I might have for the rest of my life.

No Wonder They Say, Love Kills

Marriage is a natural and sacred institution contracted to last as long as we live. We say, “Till death do us part.”

The one-million-dollar question is, has this union always worked out for everybody as planned? The answer, without any hesitation, is absolutely NO. Is there a guide to fix these varied marriage problems? I hope so because it’s said where there’s a will, there should be a way. Therefore, both sides of the marriage should always plan to put their home in order.

Why didn’t my marriage work?

Well, it was all due to a catalog of missing fundamental building blocks that a great marriage creates. In addition to those mentioned previously, add the lack of maturity, patience, and forgiveness. What about self-ego, undaunting faithfulness, selfishness, and many more from both parties, as the fault of a failed marriage cannot be one-sided.

It needs the maturity of both sides for the marriage to succeed. Every union begins with great dreams: Love for one another, being faithful to each other, raise healthy and well-matured kids, both mentally, psychologically, and otherwise.

A marriage is like a flower that needs constant watering to grow. The same goes for a relationship—it requires many open discussions to keep it warm and running smoothly. Intrinsic is the need for wisdom, understanding, and all it will take to let it flourish. The more insight and knowledge we apply to the union, the more likely the marriage will survive and mature.

The consequences of a failed marriage are devastating. A couple must strive to tap into whatever resources are available to learn how to keep the marriage afloat. At the core, decisions must be made between both partners to decide who the wage earner is, which activities will be undertaken toward the children’s feeding and nurturing, and keeping the home running smoothly. It’s of utmost importance to maintain constant dialogs to put things in their right perspective. Doing so will prepare the marriage to weather any storm both in rosy and challenging times.

Furthermore, the waters can become choppy in a marriage when it becomes necessary to cooperate and lend a hand to extended family members (husband’s and wife’s siblings). These actions can cause so many setbacks where one part of the family is favored over the other.

It is no wonder that these issues constitute some of the headaches that marriages face (depending on tradition and culture). Some cultures expressly include extended families in the marriage. As the saying goes: when you’re married into a family, you’re not just married to your wife or husband but to the whole clan.

Just this aspect can produce fruits of discord instead of agreement and love. When that happens, it means love has become bitter and downright poisonous in the marriage. It begins to go down a slippery slope producing contrary effects. But when the children are caught in the middle of all this confusion, it becomes even dangerous for everybody involved, and it could provoke a lot of unwanted problems.

Things get out of hand entirely when the father or the mother enters into a new marriage after their divorce. Children’s issues become more challenging and can escalate when one parent isn’t cooperative. Still, it’s imperative to continue looking for ways by all means despite the rough path to follow.

With all things being equal, my marriage has taught me a lifelong lesson. Though I cannot go back and correct the past, I will always make good the lessons learned by investing in the present and hoping for a better and prosperous future.

Pedro Odubayo Thompson
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Pedro O. Thompson (aka, KARIMO), you can call him POT.

Pedro is a Prolific Certified Translator. He translates from English to Spanish and English to English. He is an Image/Book Copy Editor/a Writer & Blogger, coupled with a good background in business settings/publishing, and  a keen interest in public affairs.

 

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Looking for a Remote Career? These Are the Top Skills You’ll Need

by Jennifer Swartvagher

More and more jobs have gone remote since the pandemic started. Right now the remote job marketplace is extremely competitive so knowing which soft skills are crucial for success in the top remote career categories will help put job seekers in the best position possible. FlexJobs, the leader in remote jobs, and PAIRIN, a leader in soft skill development, has teamed together to identify the top 10 career categories offering the most remote jobs in 2020 and the skills job seekers need to succeed in these emerging remote careers.

remote work

“Remote job seekers face a very competitive job market right now, as remote jobs have become even more desirable in the current pandemic environment, and there are certainly more opportunities in some career categories versus others,” said Sara Sutton, founder and CEO of FlexJobs. “To help job seekers land a coveted remote job, FlexJobs is proud to partner with PAIRIN to not only identify where those jobs are available, but also help candidates understand the specific soft skills that are needed for them to stand out and succeed in those careers,” Sutton concluded.

Dr. Dan Hawthorne, director of I/O psychology and head of research at PAIRIN, conducted the research and analysis to identify the critical skills for each career category. “The COVID-19 pandemic forced many companies to break down pre-existing barriers to quickly adapt and move their workforces to remote work,” said Dr. Hawthorne. “Now that these organizations have the structure in place to support remote workers, it is expected that many will continue to offer remote working opportunities for the long-term. This, in turn, presents a bright outlook for remote work in the future,” Dr. Hawthorne added.

A “remote job” is defined as a professional-level job that allows the worker to work from home either entirely or part of the time. The ten career categories identified had job listings for the most remote jobs in the FlexJobs database from Mar. 1, 2020 through Nov. 30, 2020.  Included under each career category are the five most important soft skills, as identified through PAIRIN’s personalized, science-based research, that professionals need in order to thrive in that respective career. 

Computer & IT 

  • Creativity – The desire to think, do, and express in ways that are different from the norm. This includes personal elaborations or variations on known or existing techniques.
  • Originality – The ability to invent or independently conceive of ideas, methods, or products of the first order (underived), regardless of their usefulness.
  • Objective-Analytical – The emphasis of logic and fact-based evaluating over feelings, suggesting clarity, thoroughness, and productivity. 
  • Problem Solving – To discover, analyze, and solve a range of unfamiliar problems in both conventional and creative ways.
  • Critical Thinking – To gather and objectively assess key information as a guide to belief or action. An intellectual process that uses analysis, conceptualization, synthesis, and evaluation.

 Medical & Health 

  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify, and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance, products, or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Supportiveness – The drive to assist, protect, and provide for others in emotional or physical need.
  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs, and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, and Service Orientation).
  • Accountability – To be answerable. To take responsibility for outcomes through appropriate use of resources, personal integrity, and self-monitoring.
  • Compliance – Global tendencies to maintain self-discipline and conform to another’s plan, rules, will, or direction.

 Project Management

  • Relationship Management – To use awareness of one’s own emotions and those of others to navigate interactions successfully. (Includes: Inspiration, Influence, Enriching Others, Cooperation, Change, and Conflict Management). 
  • Collaboration & Teamwork – To combine efforts and resources with others toward a common goal. To work effectively and respectfully with diverse teams.
  • Dynamism – Global tendencies to generate results through intentional, resourceful, energetic mindsets and behaviors.
  • Productivity – To set and meet goals, even in the face of obstacles and competing pressures. To prioritize, plan, and manage work to achieve the intended results.
  • Stress Tolerance – To endure pressure or uncertainty without becoming negative (e.g. hopeless, bitter, or hostile) toward self or others.

Sales

  • Influential Leadership – The ability to positively persuade others’ choices by focusing on what is important to them and building consensus. 
  • Conflict Management – The ability to effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements.
  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs, and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, and Service Orientation). 
  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify, and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance, products, or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Assertiveness – Global tendencies to express and interact with boldness, enthusiasm, and confidence.

Accounting & Finance 

  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs, and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, and Service Orientation). 
  • Compliance – Global tendencies to maintain self-discipline and conform to another’s plan, rules, will, or direction.
  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.
  • Conflict Management – The ability to effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements.
  • Critical Thinking – To gather and objectively assess key information as a guide to belief or action. An intellectual process that uses analysis, conceptualization, synthesis, and evaluation.

Customer Service 

  • Supportiveness – The drive to assist, protect and provide for others in emotional or physical need.
  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance, products or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Conflict Management – The ability to effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements.
  • Stress Tolerance – To endure pressure and uncertainty without becoming negative (e.g. hopeless, bitter or hostile) toward self or others.
  • Assertiveness – Global tendencies to express and interact with boldness, enthusiasm and confidence.

Marketing

  • Flamboyance – The drive to impress or excite-to stir others through words or actions.
  • Influential Leadership – The ability to positively persuade others’ choices by focusing on what is important to them and building consensus.
  • Assertiveness – Global tendencies to express and interact with boldness, enthusiasm and confidence.
  • Inspirational Leadership – The ability to uplift, enliven, fill and empower people with a compelling vision.
  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.

Education & Training 

  • Cooperative-Practical – The moderation of reason and feeling resulting in calm, commonsense thinking – upbeat, attentive and realistic.
  • Creativity – The desire to think, do, and express in ways that are different from the norm. This includes personal elaborations or variations on known or existing techniques.
  • Social Awareness – To relate and respond to the feelings, needs and concerns of individuals or broader societal groups. (Includes: Empathy, Organizational Awareness and Service Orientation)
  • Originality – The ability to invent or independently conceive of ideas, methods, or products of the first order (underived), regardless of their usefulness.
  • Perspective – The ability to understand broadly, to coordinate knowledge and experience, and to provide clear-sighted and meaningful counsel to others. An aspect of wisdom.

Business Development

  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.
  • Cooperative-Practical – The moderation of reason and feeling resulting in calm, commonsense thinking – upbeat, attentive and realistic.
  • Enriching Others – Perceiving and reacting to others with acceptance and respect while supporting their development toward full potential.
  • Self Assessment – To engage in self-reflection so as to determine strengths and limitations in one’s values, abilities and resources. 
  • Critical Thinking – To gather and objectively assess key information as a guide to belief or action. An intellectual process that uses analysis, conceptualization, synthesis and evaluation.

Administrative 

  • Service Orientation – The ability to anticipate, identify and meet people’s often unspoken needs through assistance products or services. The drive to generate customer satisfaction and loyalty.
  • Supportiveness – The drive to assist, protect and provide for others in emotional or physical need.
  • Flamboyance – The drive to impress or excite-to stir others through words or actions.
  • Relationship – The drive to draw close and remain loyal to another person or people—to truly connect and enjoyably engage with them.
  • Stress Tolerance – To endure pressure and uncertainty without becoming negative (e.g. hopeless, bitter or hostile) toward self or others.

For more information you can visit https://www.flexjobs.com/blog/post/top-categories-soft-skills-remote-jobs/ and https://www.pairin.com/the-ideal-skills-for-the-top-10-remote-jobs-of-2021/.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash

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These Batteries Taste Terrible––Here’s Why

by Karly Wood

Coin battery ingestions by young children has been on the rise for nearly twenty years, but Duracell is doing something about it. In an innovative move, the trusted battery brand has developed a new bitter-tasting coating on specific coin batteries to keep kids safe and help deter accidental ingestions.

Duracell Lithium Coin batteries (sizes 2032, 2025, and 2016) are now made with a clear, non-toxic, bitter coating. This unsavory coating is specifically added to batteries that measure 20mm, which is similar to the size of a child’s esophagus in hope of helping to discouraging swallowing.

photo: Courtesy of Duracell

Unfortunately, when children swallow lithium coin batteries, they can become stuck and burn through the sensitive tissue of the esophagus in only two hours. It is Duracell’s hope that the new coating, coupled with child-safe packaging and other education can help prevent the swallowing of coin batteries.

The new batteries have been awarded the Parent Tested Parent Approved Winner’s Seal of Approval.

––Karly Wood

 

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Banana Bread Can Save the World

By Krissy Dieruf

“It’s not fair!” my son cried, giant wet tears rolling down his sunburned cheeks. “Why does she get to play with a friend, and I don’t?” This, a repeating question about his ten-year-old sister. Body sprawled out, half on the sidewalk, half on the driveway, he clenched rocks in his little fists, threatening to hurl them to the concrete to prove or punish. I plopped next to him, crisscross applesauce on the hard ground. I wrapped both palms around his face and wiped the tears, felt the corners of my mouth tug when he lay completely flat like a puddle wailing loud cries from his wide o-shaped mouth straight into the sky with wild abandon.

Pulling him on my lap, he let me fold him into a hug like a wrinkled Kleenex into a pocket. I tried to reason with him, explain that his sister happened to have a friend down the street who could play outside and socially distanced at that very moment. My son’s one sweet friend, whom he had already stalked three times that day, just wasn’t home. The cruelty of it, nonsensical to my youngest boy woven solely of humor and heart, gouged him. The world proves a broken place when a pandemic sweeps through it, canceling everything. When you have to limit your interactions, and even then, be so careful not to get too close to stay safe from the virus, and keep others safe in case you have it and don’t know yet. For a five-year-old, that’s hard to understand when all you know is that you’re lonely and your one designated friend is busy.

After validating and empathizing the sadness and pain emoting massively from the tiny body draped over my legs, I dug deep into my repertoire of redirections and distractions. I offered to play a game, play playdoh, get out some toys, do a puzzle, take the dog for a walk, everything we’ve already done a million times over the last five months.

“No!” he bawled, still beside himself, staring heartbroken into the sky.

I could viscerally feel his pain, knowing how lonely I, too, have felt lately. How much I miss my friends. My moms-group meetings, book club, bible study, monthly ladies’ dinners, coffee dates full of deep conversation, and connection. I miss dates with my husband, parties, plays, concerts. I miss restaurants, birthdays, family gatherings. If I could curl up into a ball and scream at the vast emptiness of the cornflower blue sky, I would too. But as the mom, I am supposed to be the reasonable one. Someone who understands the big picture, contain my emotions into small bite-size pieces that won’t become too big to swallow. If I allowed the little sugar cube of disappointment, ironically tasting bitter and harsh deep in the pit of my stomach grow fully into its whole self, something more akin to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would emerge. I would cry all day long and bang my fists screaming and drooling about the unfairness of the pandemic and the stupid coronavirus, about all the ways it has ruined everything. Everything! More sobbing would ensue.

It might feel suitable for a minute, but it’s a dark hole, and I don’t want to live there. Nor do I want to have to crawl back out someday only to look around and wonder who I have become. We must persevere with what we are given, and sadly, without what has been taken from us. We have the choice to do it with hope or with a vengeance. I choose to do it with hope. Pulling the good out of the bad is the only way to move forward from a hard place. Otherwise, I will end up moving in and hanging curtains and family photos in a room of despair.

My son’s despair, like a siren big and loud, showed me the depth of the need we all have for connection. I wanted to sink into all of it right along with him, but then I remembered the one thing in our family that lifts spirits and moves mountains of bad moods into laughter and smiles. The words alone create hope in one’s heart, not unlike that of a lonely child about to find a friend. It’s the hope that something good will come. It’s simple, not complicated, but its ability to fill and calm is astounding. Banana bread. With chocolate chips, of course. Not just savoring a warm slice straight out of the oven is magic, but the baking process itself is cathartic. Mushing the bananas, melting the butter, sliding the buttons on the mixer, watching the powders and liquids churn, the crack of eggshells on glass, sliding into the bowl, sneaking a taste in between each addition of new ingredients. Banana bread is like a balm that heals all wounds, indeed.

Perking his head up from my lap, he turned with wide eyes when he heard the words, “Banana bread?” It took two seconds for him to bolt to the kitchen and pull out the flour and sugar. We finished with the measuring, stirring, and licking of fingers. The bread pans (two loaves, of course, because one disappears too quickly) slid carefully into the oven. We thought only of the taste of banana-like heaven on our tongues and happiness in our belly’s for the next 60 minutes. When the oven timer rang, and the forks plunged in, the sun felt a little brighter, the air a little lighter. If only finding a friend was so easy once in a while. I know that will take time. But for now, banana bread is single-handedly saving the world for one five-year-old boy and one (semi) responsible mom.

Krissy Dieruf is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and three children, loves to sing and dance around the house and has a soft spot for rebels and crazy hair. 

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Valentine’s Day & Divorce

By Jacqueline Newman

What happens when you are considering divorce (whether in your head or out loud) and February rolls around? If it is still all internal thoughts, you may still go to the card store and spend an extra half hour finding a card that does not overpromise love forever or make claims of soulmates. You may not want to be obvious in your questioning of the marriage, but also not insincere about making promises in a signed Hallmark document that you are not looking to keep.

If you are feeling bad and do not want your change of heart to be obvious, do be careful what you write in that card. I have had clients who save Valentine’s Day cards and use them as evidence against their ex during divorce! It can be that much more hurtful if you write about undying love on February 14th and then a week later you are serving divorce papers. And if you the word “divorce” has been bandied around the dinner table, then it feels even worse to send a “I will die by your side” card and you may just opt for a Shoebox funny card that makes fun of his lack of ability to fix the dishwasher.  What about if your spouse takes it upon themself to use the day for a grand romantic gesture as a way to bring you back into the marriage? Who knows—it could work! If the reasoning you may be planning your exit is due to a lack of communication and effort on your spouse’s part, Valentine’s Day could give them the excuse to address what is lacking in the marriage.

If your spouse does not take the opportunity that Feb 14th gives (Hallmark or not—it is a great day to show love), then it may be your final straw. And of course, if you learn that their Valentine’s Day love is misdirected…well…that could be your answer as well. When in the first stage of divorce—the deciding stage—Valentine’s Day can be the day that makes you or breaks you.

Valentine’s Day during Divorce

Now let’s assume that you already know what the inside of your divorce attorney’s office looks like when Valentine’s Day rolls around. Under most circumstances, you nor your soon-to-be-ex acknowledge the holiday to each other.

If you are in the sad stage of the divorce process, you may have a sentimental exchange with your ex, reminding them of happier Valentine’s Days of the past, which depending on where your spouse is in the emotional rollercoaster of divorce will be responded to with a sad emoji face or ignored altogether.

If you are in the angry stage of the divorce process, there may be bitter and sarcastic text exchanges with your friends about sending black roses or chocolates filled with toothpaste (cures his gross halitosis). There are thoughts of sending edible thongs and leopard skin handcuffs (with or without the keys) to his conservative new girlfriend or her new boyfriend claiming that is what she is into. Obviously, these should be just fun fantasies and not acted upon (I am not looking to give anyone any good ideas).

It is perfectly normal to acknowledge that while Valentine’s Day was meaningless to you in the past, during a divorce, it can be an emotional day. Just be sure to keep yourself in check as your divorce is not over and you do not want your impetuous antics on Valentine’s day to affect the resolution of your case.

Valentine’s Day after Divorce

So, divorce papers are signed off by the judge and you now can file taxes separately.  Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, Valentine’s Day may still not be just like any other day. You may have accepted the divorce, but you still may feel the old feelings of anger and sadness creep up on February 14th. The hope is that as you have more and more years of distance between you and the divorce, those feelings will lessen and the day goes back to just being a Tuesday.

However, the real hope is that you have possibly found someone else who will once again be making the dinner reservations a month in advance looking to impress. Or that you will be at Hallmark reading cards and having a hard time deciding which one because they are all so perfect for your new love. I have seen it happen.

Jacqueline Newman is a divorce lawyer and matrimonial law expert. As managing partner of a top-tier 5th Avenue Manhattan law firm focused exclusively on divorce, her practice runs the gamut from prenups for high net worth people contemplating marriage to high conflict matrimonial litigation in dissolutions. 

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These Pink Magnum Bars Are Made with a New Kind of Chocolate

by Shahrzad Warkentin

If you’re a fan of all things chocolate and pink, then you’ll be excited to hear that Magnum is releasing a new ice cream bar that’s made with a new kind of pink chocolate.

Magnum Mini Ruby bars are made with chocolate derived from the Ruby cacao bean. Ruby chocolate, which was first developed by Swiss confectioner Barry Callebaut in 2017, has a pleasant pink hue and is said to have a flavor that is neither too bitter nor too sweet but is more berry-like. No berries or berry flavoring is added to create the chocolate, however.

These new ice cream bars are the first ice cream product sold in the United States to feature this unique new chocolate, though there have already been other products available, like bars, truffles and even Trader Joe’s Ruby Cacao Wafers. The ice cream inside the bar is a sweet cream flavor and promises to be delicious.

The new Magnum Ruby Minis are currently available at select retailers and will roll out to stores nationwide in February.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Magnum

 

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Debunking 4 Myths about Baby’s First Food

By Saskia Sorrosa

One of the most common questions among parents is whether little ones can have garlic (or anything flavorful) or if sticking to bland food is the way to go. We’d be out of work if introducing cardamom to your baby’s applesauce wasn’t both healthy and delicious for them. We understand your worry though, most of us grew up with strict guidelines — either rooted in a family or the pediatricians—that told us that babies were to be introduced to foods in this order: bland food, fruits, and then veggies.

Turns out, the new American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation states that there is no scientific evidence to prove that foods need to be introduced in any particular order. The good news? You can now focus on variety and flavor from the start and help craft an adventurous eater in the process.

In Bee Wilson’s book, First Bite, a tactic called “tiny tests” is encouraged. What you want to do is introduce a new veggie or spice to your little one, bite by bite, and multiple times. But before we get there, let’s debunk some common myths.

Myth #1: If your baby didn’t like it the first time, they never will.

This is one of the most common misconceptions among parents. Studies show that repetitive exposure to a new food, whether fruit or veggies, is the biggest indicator of whether a baby will acquire a taste for the food. In fact, it can take upwards of 20 tries for your child to become receptive to a new flavor. Don’t give up on your little one or your desire to expand their food repertoire. It takes a lot of practice, patience and commitment to learning to love the food rainbow.

Myth #2. Babies are to be introduced to bland foods first.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has actually walked back this suggestion. While at first, they recommended that parents stick to bland flavors when introducing food to their babies, they have now moved to recommend a wide array of flavors. Ultimately, it’s the introduction of different flavors and textures that will help expand your little one’s palate and reduce the risk of pickiness, or neophobia (being afraid of new foods).

Myth #3: Babies will only eat veggies and spices if they’re masked by sweet fruit tastes.

Babies are drawn to new food like magnets, they don’t have a point of reference on the fact that they’re supposed to dislike Swiss chard and love bananas. Wilson recommends introducing all flavors to baby within their flavor window, which lasts from month 6 to month 18, to up your chances of them loving bitter, bold, and savory flavors.

Myth #4: Breastfed babies are used to sweet flavors because breastmilk is sweet. 

Actually, as our resident Pediatrician, Mary Versfelt, MD, noted babies are introduced to hints of the same flavors that mama introduces into her system. Both through pregnancy and breastfeeding, research has shown that what a woman eats can influence a baby’s food preferences and is a child’s first exposure to flavors.

I'm the Founder & CEO of Fresh Bellies baby food brand. I've won foodie awards, pitched to Shark Tank and appeard on Forbes and CNBC. Originally from Guayaquil, Ecuador, I live in New York with my husband, Fernando and daughters, Isabella and Alexa Luna.

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Is Sushi Kosher for Passover? You Can Get Kosher for Passover Lasagna, Too

by Erica Loop

This is not your grandma’s Seder. No way. With kosher for Passover sushi and lasagna, you’re about to celebrate the holiday in a totally new way. Yeah, yeah, you have to trade your crusty rustic Italian bread for the yeast-free version. And hey, you don’t have to wander the desert without the ability to let the dough rise. But now New Jersey-based Kayco has something to make your Passover Seder… um, different?

What’s on the table for your Seder? Well, there’s the matzah. And there’s also a shank bone, egg, bitter herbs, saltwater, mortar-esque charoset and leafy greens. And of course, sushi and lasagna. Wait… sushi AND lasagna? Yep.

photo: PRNewsfoto/Kayco

Even though sushi and lasagna are far from a Passover tradition of the old, these meals might just be something that your family will enjoy. Kayco’s riced cauliflower may not be what your kiddos expect. But making kosher sushi with mom is something that they don’t exactly get to do every day.

Oh, you say the kids aren’t into sushi? That’s okay. Kayco’s lasagna and fusilli are a few other kosher items that no one will expect to see on the Passover Seder table.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgjYlGHBLtO/?taken-by=kosherdotcom

Along with their totally tasty new offerings, Kayco is partnering with Kosher.com to feature new kosher (of course) recipes. Cookbook author (of Perfect for Pesach) and Kosher.com celebrity chef, Naomi Nachman, said (in a press release), “Many of this year’s new Passover products allow us to push culinary limits and create holiday menus that are both contemporary and gourmet.”

What’s your favorite family Passover recipe? Share your top pick with us in the comments below.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Raw Pixels via Unsplash

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