I was lucky to be pregnant alongside one of my best friends. She was two weeks ahead of me and we shared a philosophy: we talk about everything. On any given day, the ping-pong match that became our text thread looked a little something like this:

Her: Where did you buy your compression socks? Your OB suggested them for flights, right?

Me: Do you think it’s bad I woke up on my back?

Her: New adds for our research list: delaying the first bath, and cord blood banking. Have you looked into either?

Me: How did you know it was baby hiccups when you felt them?

You better believe I hung on every word of her OB-GYN appointment recaps too, as I waited for my own. I wanted to know how did it go, what did you learn, and most importantly… what happens next?

(Photo: Me and my pregnancy partner-in-questioning)

 

As her 40-week mark moved closer and closer, I couldn’t shake the visual that she and I were standing at the top of a giant slide. Her, ready to push off and shout to me what the ride was like, as she soared towards the bottom.

I found having her as a guide for what was ahead to be calming, and made me feel like I was in “control” (cue the laughter, I know). I’m all about sharing what worked for me in the hopes it helps someone else, so here we go!

You may already be experiencing this, but the reality is, that as your pregnancy progresses, your OB-GYN appointments begin to feel more like drive-thrus than sit-downs. And that’s exactly around the time you’ll hear phrases like posterior placenta, newborn stem cell preservation, mucus plug, and foley bulb induction.

While these are new terms for the majority of us (and they sound intimidating), they’re not to be feared or rushed through. Your appointments are your appointments after all. So, from one new mom to the next, take your time. Command the room. If you need it, bring your partner, family member or friend as reinforcement. Most of all, ask every question.

To get you started, here’s a glimpse into the notes section of my phone organized by trimester. You’ll find topics to anticipate and questions to consider before your next OB-GYN appointment, no matter where you are in your pregnancy journey. Of course, pick and choose what feels appropriate for your situation.

We’re all on this ride together, friends—and I’ll be here waiting for you at the bottom of the slide.

First Trimester (0-13 Weeks)

The newness and fragility is palpable. This is a great time to gather questions as you wait for your first appointment and ultrasound.

  • When should my partner and I get tested for our blood types?
  • Are my prenatal vitamins giving me enough of what I need?
  • Can I keep up my exercise routine throughout pregnancy?
  • Are there foods I should avoid while pregnant?
  • How do I choose pregnancy safe skincare?
  • What should I be feeling during my first trimester?
  • When do you recommend I tell my boss I’m pregnant?

Second Trimester (14-27 Weeks)

As you work through all the necessary blood work and testing, tackle some of the bigger questions around your delivery, and explore your preferences. This is a nice time for a babymoon too!

  • What pregnancy classes should I take, and when should I take them?
  • Is cramping a normal feeling while pregnant?
  • Do I really have to sleep on my left side? Is it bad to sleep on your back while pregnant?
  • Start thinking about birth intentions (I avoided the word “plan”, adds too much stress!) :
  • Can you still fly in your second trimester?
  • What can I eat before the glucose test?

Third Trimester (28-40 Weeks)

Gearing up for the homestretch! Expect more frequent doctor appointments as the weeks progress. This is your time to decide on your birth “intentions” and postpartum care.

  • How long past my due date can I go before induction? Can you ask to be induced?
  • Cervical exams during pregnancy—pros/cons? Are they elective?
  • Reminder to decide on cord blood banking! When is our deadline, and what is the cord blood storage cost?
  • What is delayed cord clamping? And why would you do it?
  • What are signs your water broke? How long after do you wait at home if it does?
  • What does a mucus plug look like?
  • Do you have pediatrician recs? When do we make our first appointment?
  • Start to freeze food! Any recommendations for the best postpartum meals?
  • What is the transition phase of labor?
  • What breast pump does my insurance cover? Should I get fitted for a breast pump now?

While there is a lot to consider (clearly!), I hope having this little list in your back pocket lets you feel prepared for your next OB-GYN appointment.

To learn more about Cord Blood Banking, and how to order a collection kit before heading to the delivery room, visit our friends at Cord Blood Registry®(CBR®).

They’re sharing promo code ‘OWTA’ with Tinybeans families to save 45% on the CBR Collection Kit!

 


Drew Scott is a dad! The Property Brothers co-star and his wife, Linda Phan have announced the arrival of their son, Parker James.

The couple has been very open about their infertility journey since they decided to grow their family. They shared that they were expecting via IVF on a blog post back in March that “It’s still kind of blurry, how we got from there to here. It felt like a time warp, every month like ‘Groundhog Day,’ but you keep going through the motions—the doctor appointments, the medications, the tests, the blood work, the pep talks — hoping for the best. And then, bam!”

The Instagram announcement was short and sweet: “Our lives are forever changed. Welcome to the world Parker James.”

Mom and dad shared the happy news of their new bundle of joy on the Jun. 1 episode of their podcast, At Home in addition to Drew’s Instagram account. It turns out, Parker joined the fam on his parent’s fourth wedding anniversary, May 12.

On the podcast, Phan reports feeling “pooped” but happy. So basically, she’s already a full-blown mom. She also shared some L&D details, like the fact she labored for 44 hours, had an epidural and a C-section due to the long labor time.

Dad reports Parker was eight pounds, eight ounces and isn’t much of a crier (lucky). He also shares that dirty diapers don’t bother him and that he has a better appreciation for being home now.

The new parents will be taking a break from their podcast as they adjust to their new life of three. After Parker “stole the show” on the duo’s anniversary, we’re guessing he’s bound to do the same on future episodes of the podcast and Property Brothers, too.

 

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After many years of struggling to get pregnant and the tedious, stressful saga of going through IVF (four years of it), my partner and I were incredibly lucky our last viable embryo hit positive. Hooray!

On that day, though, a new challenge began: How do I stay healthy to maximize my chances of having a healthy baby? Having had so many appointments during IVF, I was surprised to have so few appointments during pregnancy. In the beginning, doctor’s visits were just once a month or so; check-ins only became more frequent in the last few weeks. In between, I often felt on my own, breaking new personal ground as I experienced the various phases. I constantly asked myself, “Am I doing enough?” “Is my body keeping up with all the changes happening inside?” So many questions flooded my hormonally saturated neurons.

Pregnant people frequently experience constipation, sleeplessness, lack of motivation, emotional volatility and exhaustion. Unfortunately, I had all of these, and I was not thrilled about taking medication to alleviate the issues.

Because of my background (I have a Ph.D. in biochemistry and am the co-founder and CEO of a company called Ixcela, which develops tests and programs to improve the health of the gut microbiome), I knew that a lot of these symptoms could be caused by poor gut health and/or nutritional deficiencies and that I could take action against them.

One major issue tends to be a lack of protein. According to the American Pregnancy Association, pregnant women should consume between 75-100 grams per day or about 25% of their daily caloric intake. Many think they are getting enough—from a handful of almonds or a small serving of eggs—when they really aren’t. (Sorry, friends. Protein, NOT carbs. That means doubling up on Häagen-Dazs won’t solve the problem.)

Protein is important because it contains two critical amino acids (the building blocks of proteins) that the body needs, especially during pregnancy. The first is tryptophan. Since your body can’t make tryptophan, it must be digested through various types of food (meats, cheeses, fish, beans, etc.)—basically anything with protein in it. The bacteria in your intestines (a.k.a. your gut microbiome) take the tryptophan you eat and convert it into many other things, including serotonin. Serotonin is important for your mental health/sanity and happiness as well as gut motility—yes, your tushy’s ability to comfortably bond with your toilet bowl. Going one step further, your body takes serotonin and converts it into melatonin, which is critical for good sleep.

The second amino acid is tyrosine, which is found in seeds, edamame, cheese, fish, lentils and yogurt. The bacteria in the intestine (the gut microbiome again) convert it into important molecules, such as adrenaline (the molecule that helps you have the initiative to do stressful things) and dopamine (the “feel-good” molecule).

You might see where I’m heading with this: Not enough tryptophan in your diet = not enough serotonin and melatonin = feelings of emotional distress, constipation and bad sleep. Not enough tyrosine in your diet = lack of motivation and feelings of depression.

Take a step back and think about it. When you are pregnant, you are building a little person, and that human being requires extra protein. If, however, you are not getting enough, the baby continues to be built, which depletes your load of tryptophan and tyrosine and leads to the adverse effects and feelings mentioned above. Booo.

How Do You Know Whether You’re Getting Enough Protein in Your Diet?

If you’re feeling sluggish, constipated and lacking motivation, you may have an unhealthy microbiome or be short on protein. You can slowly increase your daily intake to see if it improves your mood and bowel movements.

But, for me, following general guidelines wasn’t enough—and my symptoms proved that something larger may be amiss. I wanted to truly know what my body needed not just to handle the pregnancy, but also to provide the best environment for my baby. And as a student of science and a self-proclaimed super dork, I am a believer in measurement. If you can measure it, you can manage it!

Instead of guessing about what’s happening in your body, wouldn’t it be great to do a test to see what is actually happening? After all, pregnancy drastically changes your body—how you utilize nutrients, what appears in your blood work and your hormone levels. If you want to optimize its functioning, it’s best to know your baseline. The good news? You can test your protein levels and the health of your gut through a simple pin-prick blood test to determine whether or not you’re getting the nutrients you need in your diet—all conveniently at home.

And if you’re wondering, “How do I know if the bacteria in my gut can take the protein I’m eating and effectively turn it into these other molecules that are important for my (and my baby’s) well-being?” This can also be answered with the same test. It will show if your gut microbiome is healthy enough to convert your protein into other molecules effectively, and if it’s not, make recommendations to adjust your diet to maximize your body’s function.

Throughout my pregnancy, I religiously tested myself every three months and followed the dietary and lifestyle recommendations based on the results. I was able to move the needle on protein levels, which significantly helped my quality of sleep, kept me afloat emotionally during the hormonal roller coaster and helped ease my perpetual constipation. The changes I implemented took a few weeks to kick in (the microbiome takes around three-to-four weeks to change), but pregnancy is a nine-month process, so it’s worth the effort on the front end.

Pregnancy is tough on your mind and body, and there will be times when you have to muscle your way through. But some of these simple things can really make you just a bit more comfortable. Remember: Having a good microbiome will help with guts, butts and not going nuts.

Photo: Erika Angle

Dr. Erika Ebbel Angle is the CEO and co-founder of Ixcela. She received her Ph.D. in Biochemistry from Boston University School of Medicine and holds a B.S. in chemistry from MIT. Erika also founded Science from Scientists, a nonprofit focused on improving STEM attitudes and aptitudes for children aged 9-13.

When your child needs emergency care, you want the best care possible.  Luckily for Bay Area parents, world-class care is available 24/7 at the pediatric emergency department at Stanford Medicine.

The Pediatric Emergency Department is located on the Stanford campus and is connected to Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford. It provides comprehensive 24-hour emergency care and is the only emergency department in the area uniquely prepared for pediatric emergencies—with technology and innovative treatment designed specifically with kids in mind. 

The emergency department can be stressful for anyone, but the pediatric ED staff at Stanford are specially trained in caring for children, providing an environment and atmosphere that’s calming to tiny humans. Plus, the pediatric ED is connected to the Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford, so your little patient can access world-class Stanford specialists and experts, if needed.

We spoke with Dr. Jason Lowe, DO, from the pediatric ED to learn more about how the pediatric emergency department at Stanford Medicine is different from a regular emergency department and why it matters.

Just for Kids

FamVeld via Shutterstock

Unlike other emergency departments, the pediatric emergency department at Stanford Medicine is completely separate from the adult ED and the only department in the area solely focused on pediatric emergency care. The pediatric ED at Stanford is designed just for kids, with specially trained staff, child-specific equipment and a kid-friendly environment with colorful, kid-approved artwork.

In addition to physicians and nurses who are certified in pediatric emergency medicine, the department also includes Child Life specialists, who are trained to communicate with children in age-specific ways. They take the "ouch" out of care with developmentally appropriate distraction, non-pharmacological pain management techniques and provide entertainment and comfort during your family's visit. 

Care for Kids by Kid Experts

While Dr. Lowe attests to the excellent work traditional ED's do for kids and adults alike, he shares that there are differences in training:

"Someone who wants to work specifically in a pediatric emergency department like Stanford has decided to go through another two to three years of additional pediatric emergency medicine training."

And it's not just the doctors; it's the nurses, too. They also go through additional training to obtain a pediatric emergency nursing certification. This training is essential, since nurses are forward-facing with their young patients even more so than the doctors.

"Nurses are the main point of contact between the hospital and emergency department and the patients and their parents. And so it's super important to have well-trained nurses who are comfortable seeing pediatric patients all day and every day."

Why it Matters

Because the staff is specifically trained and working with children around the clock, they are more comfortable with them. Dr. Lowe shares that research has found someone with less experience with children is more likely to order additional tests, such as blood work or X-rays. This matters, even more, when it comes to unnecessary radiation and your child.

"Community hospitals will order more CT scans than a pediatric emergency department, between 30 to 40 percent more. The (use of) radiation is serious because it can increase the risk of cancer, so we try to minimize radiation use," says Dr. Lowe.

"We do an MRI for head injuries, which has no radiation. We are one of the first pediatric emergency departments in the nation that has studied this and results have shown that it's just as conclusive as CT scans are without the use of radiation."

When To Come In

Visiva Studio via Shutterstock

When your child is sick or has an injury, it's important to not delay care and to get in touch with a healthcare provider as soon as possible. Dr. Lowe mentions that calling your pediatrician before coming into the ED is a good idea in many cases: 

"I think the biggest thing we would ask (prior to coming into the ED) is talking to your doctor. Talk to your pediatrician, give them a call. Most pediatricians' offices have an advice line, and you can get their recommendation."

"If the patient is in an extreme amount of pain, if they're having trouble breathing or vomiting a lot, or they're just kind of mentally out of it or super sleepy, then you should come to the emergency department right away."

Safety

The pediatric ED at Stanford Medicine is dedicated to providing safe emergency care for kids, especially during COVID. Here are some of the ways they're ensuring safe and quality care:

  • Adult and pediatric patients are in separate buildings, with separate entrances for staff.
  • Screening all staff, patients, and family members for COVID-19 symptoms prior to entering.
  • Designated waiting areas with social distancing.
  • Universal masking.
  • Care teams with personal protective equipment (PPE).
  • Infection control protocols are in place, including robust air filtration and disinfecting exam rooms after each patient.
  • Use of telemedicine devices, when clinically appropriate, to reduce direct staff and patient contact

Learn more about the Pediatric Emergency Department at Standford Medicine here.

 

 

 —Jamie Aderski

 

Trying again is the secret. I do believe that God leads us by the desires of our hearts. After my cervical cancer, my ovaries were saved and I had all the faith in the world that we could have another baby.

So, in August 1996, just nine months after my radical hysterectomy, Rick and I met our surrogate mother, Gwen, along with her candid and very easygoing family in Sacramento, California. In 1996 surrogacy was a bit of a mystery, especially in Virginia. As much as we had read and researched, we sought the comfort of the most accomplished hands within this delicate field.

The morning of our flight out to the West Coast was somewhat typical of a travel day, with the obvious exception of my whirling excitement. I checked through all of the last-minute details and was ready to give Yogi and Baloo their “going on a trip” hugs and treats when a pain struck my lower abdomen so hard that it brought me to my knees. My breath was taken away. My face flushed with heat. I had never felt anything like this before, not even after my recent surgery. This was something new, something full of power and something that wanted my attention. Minutes later, it was gone for the most part. I still felt exhausted. I stood up slowly, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me. My heart pounded with joy for the inspirited blessing. Once again, a higher power had made an entrance into my life, and I knew it.

Later that day, at the surrogacy center in California, Rick and I sat talking with the doctor. I mentioned to him that I had a very strong feeling that I was at the beginning of my cycle and running some blood work might be a good idea. The doctor suggested that my earlier abdominal pains could have been from nerves. I knew otherwise, and he was kind enough to support my intuition. I realized how complex this whole process would be, and every little bit of blessed favor was not only welcomed, but honored. He ordered an ultrasound and blood work.

Later in the afternoon, after meeting with the doctors, we met Gwen for the first time. I was so excited! We felt an instant closeness. It was comfortable and effortless. There were no awkward spaces to fill with small talk; we fell right into each other. I told her about the incredible cramps I had that morning before leaving home in Virginia, and I shared my hunch that I was at the beginning of my cycle.

The next morning, she excitedly called to tell me that she had just started her period. I’ve never been so delighted about a period in my life! My hopes were sky high. When we arrived at the fertility center the doctor told us that the ultrasound showed that I had already ovulated and the blood work confirmed that I was also at the beginning of my cycle. The doctors were amazed that our cycles were perfectly aligned. They had never seen this happen without manipulation. This was a confirmation to me that I was exactly where I needed to be. I had made the intended connection.

With our cycles perfectly in sync, we were able to move forward immediately. There would be no time spent finding my cycle and taking medicine to align mine with Gwen’s. Had I not been attuned and opened to my soul and the Divine at work, who knows how long the road would have been and where it would have taken us. Trusting my intuitions and listening to the gentle voice inside of me allowed so many blessings in. Feeling and experiencing God and Universe communicate directly with me elevated my life to a place of expansive harmony that I never want to forsake.

Three months later, in November 1996, my embryos were transferred into our surrogate. Ten days after the transfer we received the amazing news that the implant was successful—we were pregnant on our very first try! This year, Thanksgiving brought even more for us to be grateful for, and this year, we celebrated. The next nine months were magical. Rick and I wanted to be as much a part of this pregnancy as possible. We flew out to Sacramento for each and every doctor visit, and I was Gwen’s coach during our birthing classes. Over the next ten months, Gwen and I became so close. We spent a lot of time together. Neither one of us held back: we were both willing and open. I was older than her by several years. Our trust in each other created an intimacy and an incomparable bond. She would ask for advice, and in answering, I was as discerning as I would be with my own daughter or close friend. I truly cared about her and loved her.

We were brought together by this miraculous undertaking, but our focus wasn’t always the pregnancy. She had a life despite her benevolent commitment. Together she and her husband, Bruce, had four children. Their personalities were distinctive. Each of the kids was welcoming, warm and fun. Their enthusiastic interest and support of us was another blessing. We shared family dinners with non-stop boisterous conversation swirling around the table as the kids let their voices ring loud and clear. The pre-teen sense of humor on display was entertaining and invigorating. The girls loved to sing for us while we relaxed outside in the warm California evenings after dinner. Each one of us was openhearted and engaged in these new friendships. Each one of us had something to give and something to receive.

I wanted to stay there—in this place where God and Universe were reaching out and leading me forward. Drop by drop, blessing by blessing, my heart filled with light and love.

 

Julianne Haycox is an artist, photographer, lover of all things in nature, and a fearless traveler. She is the author of Be Still and Know, a book filled with her photography and meditative quotes and Conversations with Grace (Koehler, March 2020), a book of inspiration and personal growth.