Photo: Evelyn Rountree of Love, mamãe

How is it possible to feel anger towards someone you (probably) love more than anything in the world?

When my kids make me angry, that feeling weighs on me more than any of the acts they did to actually get me to that point. So, how do you navigate this feeling when you are already so aware of your own emotions?

Understanding My Anger

I wish there was a moment in my life that would be the “cause” for me ever getting angry at my kids. But the truth is… there isn’t.

I get angry with my kids because I have a heart that beats and a brain that (luckily) functions. I have a body that gets exhausted from sleepless nights and endless chores. I get bored from the lack of adult interaction. There is a point when I just can’t bear changing another doll’s outfit. Or a baby diaper. Or making 7 meals a day.

And so, getting angry with my kids encompasses a daily ritual that sometimes is just Too. Freaking. Boring.

And let’s not confuse boring with “doing nothing.” You can do one thousand things per minute in your day and still feel drained. It doesn’t mean that it’s always boring. Not even that you’d like to be living differently. It simply means that right there, at the moment, you lack something.

What are you lacking in your own life that makes you angry at your kids from time to time?

For me, what I’m usually lacking is a combination of free time plus feeling guilty. Mom-guilt is my number #1 “issue” in my motherhood journey.

I have always been a “free-spirited” person. I would go out to eat at 11 p.m. at night if I wanted to, sometimes I would wake up early on a Saturday morning, pack a bag and start driving until I end up somewhere cool.

My husband and I had dates weekly, I was always surrounded by friends, life was loud and agitated.

The main thing I missed (and miss) is freedom. The freedom to just get up and leave. To grocery shop in peace. Heck, to use the bathroom in peace!

Once you become a mom, those things are gone for a while. And I’m still in the “while”.

And so, I’ve been slowly finding out what works for me.

1. I feel my anger. Give me a good 5 minutes to just be angry (away from the kids) and not try to simply “snap out of it”.

2. I validate my emotions. Taking a few seconds to really think “I am angry because this sucks” or “I am angry because I have just mopped and they threw crackers all over the floor again” and “I am angry because they didn’t sleep all night and now still refuse to nap” or “I am angry because I miss going out alone.” Those are very real reasons that a human being would get angry about.

3. I try not to trap myself into the “guilt” spiral. Things like, “There are moms with kids in the hospital and here I am angry at them for coloring on the walls” are not valid. True, it’s always good to acknowledge your blessings of having healthy, happy kids and a family to care for. But saying things like that invalidate your feelings and, therefore, you don’t work through them. You have a right to feel your emotions.

4. Do not act in anger. I don’t mean to sound cheesy, but this needs to be said. And that’s for everything, especially when it’s about your kids. I am sure you know this, but kids aren’t born malicious or manipulative. They are learning how to navigate through their own little feelings and it’s as hard for them as it is for you, if not more. It’s true, they do not understand WHY they can’t ask the same questions 300 times within a minute even after you’ve told them the answer.

So, for me, I take a beat. If I feel angry, I will step away and let myself feel angry. Cry if I have to. Scream if I need to. I will then come to them and explain, looking in their eyes, why I am angry. And crazy enough, they understand!

Just a few days ago, my almost 3-years-old girl and I had a bad day together. A combination of a bad night, no nap, and pouring rain lead to a difficult day to manage for us.

When my husband got home from work, he saw that we were just not in sync, so, he took her into her room, sat with her, and told her she could cry, scream, whatever she wanted. She was in there with him for a good 15 minutes just crying. And then…silence.

They both came out and she ran to me, and said: “I’m really sorry mommy, I’m ready to sleep now”.

While they were in the room and she was having a meltdown, I was out in the living room having a meltdown of my own. I cried and cried and just felt that anger. So by the time she was hugging me, I was squeezing her back saying “I’m sorry too, mommy is just super tired”.

You see…the both of us didn’t have a good day. It’s easy for me to forget that the tiny human yelling at me isn’t doing that to just make me angry and, while I’m having such a hard time myself, my almost 3-year-old little girl was getting pretty irritated with me too.

But in order for me to comprehend that, I had to first acknowledge, validate and allow my feelings to pour…so that I could let them go.

This post originally appeared on Love, mamãe.
feature image: Ryan Franco via Unsplash

I'm a stay-at-home mom to two toddlers, ages 3 and 1. Also a wife, a homemaker, business owner, and the heart behind the motherhood blog "Love, mamãe". My goal? To help mothers survive the toddler years with joy, grace, and sanity!

Parenting is the hardest job. 

At times I feel like I am wasting my time arguing with my tween daughter just because I want her to perform better in her studies.

I feel sick of dealing with my son’s tantrums. 

Parenting is also the most stressful job, I forgot to add that.

I was told by well-meaning relatives that a mother has the right to feel frustrated at times. But little did I know (before my husband and I decided to have two kids) that parenting is mind-numbing, mundane and boring. It feels like you are living someone else’s life and not yours.

I mean, parents are humans too. Parents would like to live their lives too. Just because one has had kids doesn’t mean it is the end of the road for one’s personal wishes, desires, dreams and most importantly, their freedom.

Freedom does get curtailed quite a lot after becoming a parent. 

Well, especially for parents like us who have no help. 

Yes, my husband and I have to just rely on each other. It can very hard when you are desperately looking for a break from doing things for kids all the time.

One thing that has reduced the stress from this monotonous job was that I decided to put my kids into a routine from a very young age (3 months of age). A stroke of luck or intuition.  

I was led to believe, by another set of well-meaning relatives that as a parent, I am too strict. Yes, because I put my babies into a routine.

I was told that I am like a timetable! I have too many rules with the kids.

I know at times I do go overboard with my rules. Sometimes, one rule contradicts another and creates confusion.

But hey, I am trying my best here without much help. My hubby works full time so help is available from him only in the evenings and weekends. 

It is okay if I make mistakes at times. I know I am not a perfect parent.

But I know for sure that I am doing my best. 

Sometimes, my kitchen is messy. Sometimes my laundry basket is overflowing. At times, I even postpone cleaning as I am so tired or I have just haven’t had the chance.

But I know I am doing my best.

At times, I yell at my kids without a reason. But there are times, I follow all the parenting tips that I preach to the T.

But I know I am doing my best. 

At times, I cry on my husband’s shoulder because I am so bored and frustrated with being a mother even if the kids haven’t misbehaved the entire day.

But I know I am doing my best.

I know I love my children and it is okay for me to feel frustrated at times.

There are times when I feel like the most privileged person in the universe when people praise my kids for being so well mannered. 

Sometimes, I just feel privileged for doing things for them.

Sometimes, I feel privileged when I watch them playing together. At times, I feel so touched by their innocent questions. 

And sometimes I just melt when they hug and kiss me. 

These far and few good moments are what give me the strength to get through the tougher moments of parenting. 

But I know deep inside my heart that I cannot imagine my life without my kids. 

Parenting is a tough journey but worth it in the end. 

 

 

 

 

Priya is a Freelance Writer for hire. She has a Parenting Blog. She has also written an E-book Painless Parenting where she shares tips that can make the difficult journey of parenting easier.  She is a regular mum from London who loves spending time with her kids and eating chocolates.

Why celebrate National Donut Day with a boring ole glaze or powdered treat, when you can sink your teeth into something with sustenance? That’s where the DiGiornut comes in.

The pizza and donut combo is everything you want in a mashup: mozzarella cheese stuffed and topped with DiGiorno sauce, cheese and toppings. Now you don’t have to pick savory or sweet to satisfy that craving!

photo: Courtesy of DiGiorno

Kimberly Holowiak, DiGiorno Brand Manager at Nestlé, “At DiGiorno we like to push the boundaries of what’s possible for pizza, and the DiGiornut is something we’ve been dreaming about for a while. At the same time, we’ve seen out of the box thinking from our fans on social media – connecting pizza with donuts. So we thought, why not have some fun and make this mashup a reality to celebrate National Donut Day.”

If your tastebuds are firing on all cylinders, then you’ll want to keep reading. The only way to get the DiGiornut will be through a Twitter sweepstakes on National Donut Day which is this Fri., Jun. 4. To enter, just reply to @DiGiorno’s tweet with #sweepstakes for a chance to score a half-dozen box!

––Karly Wood

 

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As parents and caregivers, we know firsthand that this parenting thing is not always easy. Which is why we created Beanstalk.

Beanstalk is a weekly, ad-free newsletter by and for those of us hanging on for dear life in Toddler Town. Those laugh-so-hard-you-cry and cry-so-hard-you-laugh moments? We’re here to help you through all of them. 

Between the car seat wrestling matches, DEFCON level 1 tantrums, and toddler bedtime battles, you may find yourself yearning for the boring days of “eat, poop, sleep, repeat.” (Who’d have thought?)

But what if help was just an email away? Imagine useful advice on everything from how to fast-forward through meltdowns and (mostly) enjoy restaurant outings to transitioning from the crib to big kid bed without everyone in your house turning into a zombie. It’s possible, friend! 

Even better: What if all those pearls of wisdom came right from toddler parents and caregivers who actually knew which tips and tricks work versus those that just sound good on paper?

Welcome to Beanstalk.

 

What do you get when you combine one of the most popular plants with comedic TV classic? A Golden Girls Mini Ceramic Planter with an artificial succulent potted inside!

Forget about boring faux ferns and other indoor plants. This top Amazon pick is the perfect choice for any Golden Girls fan. The sculpted ceramic planter features none other than Sophia’s face—over-sized glasses and all.

Not only do you get a Sophia-sized planter pot with this purchase, it also comes with the succulent. Don’t worry if you’re not exactly a plant-care whiz. The contents of this sweet ceramic 3D sculpture won’t require a green thumb. The succulent is 100 percent fake, making this decorative item a no-fuss, no-muss choice for the busy Golden Girl-loving plant parent.

Find the Golden Girls Mini Ceramic Planter for $17.99 on Amazon here!

—Erica Loop

 

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A recent survey of more than 1,000 Americans found that 40 percent of hopefully soon-to-be parents believe more resources or support would have helped them in their fertility struggles.

The survey, which was collected by OnePoll for Clearblue’s #Conceivinghood campaign, also found that 15 percent of TTC parents say their journey to a baby, “has been a struggle.” Of the parents polled, 32 percent also believe the struggle to conceive is too awkward to talk about—with 10 percent admitting they hadn’t told anyone about their fertility issues.

photo: Nappy via Pexels

OnePoll and Clearblue ranked the top 10 list of “What’s it like trying to conceive?” The answers were:

“Exciting” – 41%
“Fun” – 41%
“Sexy” – 37%
“Stressful” – 25%
“Impersonal” – 20%
“Boring” – 18%
“Repetitive” – 17%
“Frustrating” – 17%
“Upsetting” – 15%
“Difficult” – 12%

Dr. Fiona Clancy, R&D Senior Director, Swiss Precision Diagnostics, said in a press release, “Society always talks about motherhood, fatherhood and parenthood, but there’s a blind spot when it comes to discussing that delicate stage of trying for a baby.”

Along with the survey responses, OnePoll also asked the TTC parents about their individual perspectives on fertility and the road to parenthood. One participant said, “It takes time, especially for non-traditional families. It feels like you are alone in a world of people who have it easy and complain about problems when they don’t understand how easy they have it. But hold on because there are others of us out there.”

—Erica Loop

 

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Forget about those boring plastic coolers you’ve toted around for the past decade. It’s time to upgrade your our-of-the-house cold food storage game. The new line from Igloo Coolers and Disney includes themed cooler backpacks and cooler tote bags.

The Igloo Coolers x Disney collab is back—and this time it features a sweet set of Mickey and Minnie inspired products. The soft cooler bags come in four new styles, each with awesomely adorable designs of your favorite mice.

The collection includes

  • Minnie Mouse Dual Compartment Tote Cooler Bag ($29.99)
  • Minnie Mouse 24-Can Backpack ($39.99)
  • Mickey Mouse Dual Compartment Tote Cooler Bag ($29.99)
  • Mickey Mouse 24-Can Backpack ($39.99)
  • the Mickey and Minnie Playmate Pal Seven Quart Cooler ($39.99)
  • Mickey Mouse Playmate Pal Special Edition Mickey Ears Seven Quart Cooler ($39.99)
  • Minnie Mouse Playmate Pal Special Edition Minnie Ears Seven Quart Cooler ($39.99)
  • Mickey and Minnie Pop Fruit Playmate Pal Seven Quart Cooler ($39.99)
  • Mickey and Minnie Sweet Treats Playmate Pal Seven Quart Cooler ($39.99).

The new line of Disney coolers and soft totes follows the Igloo Disney Villains collection and other Disney-themed designs, such as Toy Story and Lilo and Stitch.

Find the cute collection on Igloo’s website here.

—Erica Loop

Photos courtesy of Igloo x Disney

 

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Why settle for boring butter this spring when you can have bunny butter instead? Say hello to Keller’s Creamery Bunny Shaped Salted Butter!

The adorable spread has landed in stores just in time for your Easter brunch. The $3.99 butter comes in a four ounce package and is rich and creamy.

photo: Red Tricycle

Per the Keller’s website, you can shop their products at Albertson’s, Brookshire Brothers, Golub, Hannaford, Harris Teeter, Jewel Osco, Kroger, Price Chopper, Price Rite, Redner’s, Safeway, ShopRite, Supervalu, Target, Wegman’s and Weis.

Bunny Shaped Salted Butter is only available March and April, so snag a few before next year.

––Karly Wood

 

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Why suffer through meal time with boring plates and bowls when you can liven up your place settings with Disney dinnerware? Corelle has curated some of the best and brightest icons from the Mickey Mouse and Star Wars franchises to bring diners fun new options.

Want to share a meal with Mickey? Or perhaps serve some Baby Yoda-inspired apps? Corelle’s lineup of magical and galactic plates and bowls is just the ticket. Keep scrolling to see our faves.

12-pc Dinnerware Set: Mickey Mouse - The True Original

You get everything you need in this adorable set $80, including dinner plates, appetizer/salad plates and bowls. The set boasts adorable Mickey images in vibrant colors that are equally fun and functional.

 

Corelle 6.75" Appetizer Plates: Star Wars

The entire gang is here with Corelle's Star Wars line. Not only can you get 4- ($25) and 8-count appetizer plates ($40) but you can get salad plates, too! ($45 but currently sold out) The set is dishwasher and microwave safe and is chip resistant.

6.75" Appetizer Plate: Star Wars- The Child, 4-pack

While they're technically appetizer plates, we think these The Child ($25) plates make a great kid-sized option, too! They are light weight which makes handling them a breeze, and they stack up easily, taking up less space than a traditional plate.

 

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of Corelle

 

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