When my son was still a baby, I attended a dinner party with some of my husband’s colleagues. I sat at the table and tried to enjoy a lavish meal I did not cook, a glass of wine, and time away from the relentlessness of nursing and soothing and diapering.
I couldn’t enjoy it. My breasts were hard and tingling, aching to be pumped. The zipper of my pants dug into my belly. Being in the world without the weight of my baby in my arms made me feel dizzy, panicky even. My brain felt foggy and slow.
My husbands’ colleagues spoke of crises at work, of the TV shows they were binging on the weekends, of trips they were planning, of hobbies. It was as if they lived in another world, the world of adulthood. I, too, had been part of it, but I felt I’d left the day I gave birth.
I didn’t feel transported to some elevated plane. I believed I had become the most boring person on the planet.
“How was your day?” a woman beside me asked. I struggled to form a response. I began talking about my son’s feeding schedule, his sleep schedule, his bowel movements. His bowel movements! Why was I speaking about my baby’s bathroom habits at a dinner party?
I was sure I’d lost my mind. I was convinced that my temporarily contracted world of early motherhood had made me regress, too. When I returned home, I thanked our sitter who sat on the living room couch with our sleeping son. Then I settled back into the monotony of motherhood, that three-hour routine on repeat.
The next day during one of my son’s brief naps, I found myself consumed with anxiety—not about my baby, but about my identity. What little there was left of it.
I thought to myself: I’m going to become interesting again. Because I am an English teacher, an avid reader, and a writer, I decided to try to fix myself with words.
I opened a notebook and began to write. Something interesting! I coached myself. But a sentence or two into my exercise, I found myself circling around the same topic I kept discussing at that dinner party: minutiae about my baby.
After about a page, my baby began to coo in his crib. That was that. My fleeting minutes of “me time” were gone. I retrieved him from his crib and held him in my arms.
The house was so quiet—just me and my baby—so I turned on some music, Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” to be exact. The two of us had a dance party to fill the stretch of hours until our next feeding, diapering, and sleeping session.
I remember this dance party because, the next day, I wrote about it. Writing made me happy, so I decided to keep journaling during my brief pockets of free time. I didn’t have anything interesting to say about the world—so I gave myself permission to lean into what occupied my headspace: my baby. I wrote about our dance parties. His favorite picture books. His first words.
In writing, I discovered patterns. His favorite word was “bird.” He used it to identify anything fascinating or, I realized, beautiful. A tree was a bird, and a bird was a bird, and so was a flower and the wind. At the grocery store, my son pointed to a man’s baseball cap and exclaimed, “bird.” And when he nursed, he made me re-see my own anatomy, when he paused from his feed to point to my nipple and cry out, “bird!”
For a year, maybe two, all my creative energy orbited around my son. I have written evidence of this. But then, eventually, it did not. The change was gradual. It was not forced. But eventually, as my son began to walk, and then to run, I, too, was able to fly back to the world I’d previously inhabited.
Now that my son is almost seven, I feel more open than ever before. My creative energy is channeled toward him, but also to so many other places. Motherhood led to my growth, not my diminishment.
But that’s not how it felt during that first year. If I could go back to my new mom self, I would reassure her and say, “You just created life—it’s okay if you can’t create anything else for a while. You will again. You may soar higher than you’d ever flown before.”
Experts recommend 6-8 well-baby visits during the first year. If you’re thinking, what’s up, doc, you’re not alone. Read on to find out what to expect from each doctor’s appointment, what you should bring and how to get the most out of your visit.
iStock
What to Bring with You
Reference documents: driver’s license, insurance card, hospital documents from baby’s birth, information about family members’ health history and allergies
Baby necessities: burp cloths, extra diapers and wipes (the doctor will remove baby’s diaper), hand wipes, baby bottle, a blanket in case baby gets cold, a lovey or favorite stuffed animal, a pacifier if you use them
Mom necessities: an extra shirt in case of spit-up, water and a snack in case you have to wait for the doctor. Once your baby is eating solids, bring snacks for them too.
Questions: Keep a list on your phone or in a small notebook so you can jot down questions when you think of them. Bring a printed version of the questions to your appointment so you don’t forget anything and can write down your doctor’s answers.
What Happens at a Well-Baby Pediatrician Appointment
Each appointment will vary depending on baby’s age, but here's what you can expect:
○ Measurement of your baby’s height, weight and head circumference to monitor your child’s growth curve; plus a discussion of that curve
○ A head-to-toe physical exam, including eyes, ears (and hearing), mouth, neck, skin, heart, lungs, abdomen, hips, genitalia and legs
○ A discussion of your child’s physical and cognitive development
○ Vaccinations, at most visits, if you’ve chosen them
○ Time for you to ask questions and bring up concerns
Read on for specifics of each visit.
iStock
Day 3-5 Well-Baby Visit
In the first week of your child’s life, pediatricians will do a physical exam; measure baby’s height, weight and head circumference; and observe baby’s behavior, reactions and reflexes.
Don’t sweat it: It’s common for babies to lose some body weight after birth. They typically gain it back by the time they hit two weeks old. As your doctor tracks your child's physical growth and tells you which percentile they're in, remember that the actual numbers and percentages are usually less important than whether your child is growing steadily along their curve.
Topics to discuss:
○ SIDS and creating a safe sleep environment
○ How often and how much your child eats
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and what bowel movement look like
○ Your child’s growth curve
1-Month Well-Baby Visit
At this visit, in addition to taking measurements, doing a physical exam and checking development, your doctor may give your child a second hepatitis B shot (they typically received the first right after birth).
Don’t sweat it: It’s normal for your child (and you!) to cry when they get shots. Shots are typically done at the end of the visit so you can comfort your child with cuddles and nursing or a bottle before you leave.
Topics to discuss:
○ What to do if your child is inconsolable in the evenings (aka the witching hours)
○ If your child is dealing with diaper rashes, baby acne or cradle cap, the doctor can give you advice on how to treat these conditions
○ How often you're doing tummy time
○ Whether your child needs vitamin D drops
○ How your baby is sleeping
○ How often and how much your child feeds
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and what bowel movements look like. Hard, dry poop could indicate constipation, and mucousy, soft stools can signal a food intolerance.
iStock
2-Month Well-Baby Visit
Your child will likely receive immunizations at this visit, if you've chosen them. The doctor will also check your baby’s head control and posture.
Don’t sweat it: Some babies feel discomfort in the day or two after shots, so be prepared to notice a change in your child’s behavior and energy level. Offer extra cuddles and comfort, and clear your schedule if you can.
Topics to discuss:
○ If your child is dealing with colic, constipation, diaper rashes, baby acne, reflux, sleep or feeding issues, the doctor can give you advice
○ Whether your child needs vitamin D drops
○ How your baby is sleeping
○ How often and how much your child feeds
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and what bowel movements look like
○ Whether your baby smiles yet
○ How you characterize your baby’s temperament. If your child seems weepy, restless or uncomfortable, your doctor can explore possible causes
○ How you’re feeling. If you’re experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety, you should bring it up to your child’s doctor and your own.
4-Month Well-Baby Visit
Your child will receive more immunizations, if you've chosen them, and may receive a hemoglobin screening to test for anemia. The doctor will also begin looking for, and discussing with you, age-appropriate milestones for your child.
Don’t sweat it: Babies develop at their own pace, so don’t assume the worst if your child hasn’t reached a certain milestone. Tell your doctor if your child is losing skills they once had or if you’re concerned about any aspect of their development (like crawling, talking, hearing, eyesight).
Topics to discuss:
○ Whether your child needs vitamin D drops
○ How your baby is sleeping
○ How often and how much your child feeds
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and what bowel movements look like
○ Age-appropriate milestones, such as whether your child can roll over, sit up with support, push up from their belly, grab items and kick with both legs.
○ Whether your baby communicates by babbling, squealing, laughing, copying caregivers’ facial expressions and sounds
iStock
6-Month Well-Baby Visit
More standard tests and (sorry) immunizations. Your doctor may also do a lead screening, as older homes can have lead paint, which, in high doses, can be harmful to babies. Your child may also receive a tuberculosis test and, if any teeth have popped through, your doctor will want to see them. Since babies are likely to crawl soon, it’s a good time to talk to your doctor about ways to childproof your home.
Don’t sweat it: Childproofing your home doesn’t have to mean spending a lot of money. Here are 14 DIY babyproofing tricks to make your home safe as your baby gets more mobile.
Topics to discuss:
○ If it’s time to start your child on solid food. And, if so, which foods your doctor recommends
○ If your child has teeth, how you should care for them
○ Age-appropriate milestones, such as whether your child is rolling over in both directions, sitting up without support, showing interest in their environment, babbling and imitating sounds and expressions
○ Whether your baby needs vitamin D drops
○ How your baby is sleeping
○ How often and how much your child feeds
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and how bowel movements change after introducing solid foods
9-Month Well-Baby Visit
In addition to the standard tests, a review of baby’s oral health and perhaps immunizations, your doctor will look more closely at your baby’s development. The doctor will likely ask you questions about how your child moves and interacts with you.
Don’t sweat it: If your child has any developmental delays, your pediatrician can give you valuable resources. Early intervention in the form of physical therapy or speech therapy can help your child develop new skills.
Topics to discuss:
○ Age-appropriate milestones, such as crawling, saying words, responding to their name, pointing, using the pincer grip, feeding themselves, playing games with you or others
○ If your child is experiencing separation anxiety or fear of strangers
○ How you should care for your child’s teeth
○ Whether your baby needs vitamin D drops or gets enough from solid foods
○ How your baby is sleeping
○ How often and how much your child eats (breastmilk/formula and solids)
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and what bowel movements look like
12-Month Well-Baby Visit
You’re a pro at this point and know what to expect at these doctor visits. But as you've learned with babies, they're always learning new things and changing their routines, so you'll have lots to discuss at this and future appointments.
Don’t sweat it: You’ve almost made it through year one, with all the big changes and sleeplessness that goes along with it. You can handle whatever year two throws at you.
Topics to discuss:
○ Age-appropriate milestones, such as whether your child is pulling themselves up, cruising along furniture, walking, pointing, saying words, responding to what you say, playing games with you or others
○ How you should care for your child’s teeth
○ Whether you should introduce cow's milk into baby's diet
○ Whether your baby needs vitamin D drops or gets enough from solid foods
○ How your baby is sleeping
○ How often and how much your child eats (breastmilk/formula and solids)
○ Frequency of wet diapers and bowel movements, and what bowel movements look like
After many years of struggling to get pregnant and the tedious, stressful saga of going through IVF (four years of it), my partner and I were incredibly lucky our last viable embryo hit positive. Hooray!
On that day, though, a new challenge began: How do I stay healthy to maximize my chances of having a healthy baby? Having had so many appointments during IVF, I was surprised to have so few appointments during pregnancy. In the beginning, doctor’s visits were just once a month or so; check-ins only became more frequent in the last few weeks. In between, I often felt on my own, breaking new personal ground as I experienced the various phases. I constantly asked myself, “Am I doing enough?” “Is my body keeping up with all the changes happening inside?” So many questions flooded my hormonally saturated neurons.
Pregnant people frequently experience constipation, sleeplessness, lack of motivation, emotional volatility and exhaustion. Unfortunately, I had all of these, and I was not thrilled about taking medication to alleviate the issues.
Because of my background (I have a Ph.D. in biochemistry and am the co-founder and CEO of a company called Ixcela, which develops tests and programs to improve the health of the gut microbiome), I knew that a lot of these symptoms could be caused by poor gut health and/or nutritional deficiencies and that I could take action against them.
One major issue tends to be a lack of protein. According to the American Pregnancy Association, pregnant women should consume between 75-100 grams per day or about 25% of their daily caloric intake. Many think they are getting enough—from a handful of almonds or a small serving of eggs—when they really aren’t. (Sorry, friends. Protein, NOT carbs. That means doubling up on Häagen-Dazs won’t solve the problem.)
Protein is important because it contains two critical amino acids (the building blocks of proteins) that the body needs, especially during pregnancy. The first is tryptophan. Since your body can’t make tryptophan, it must be digested through various types of food (meats, cheeses, fish, beans, etc.)—basically anything with protein in it. The bacteria in your intestines (a.k.a. your gut microbiome) take the tryptophan you eat and convert it into many other things, including serotonin. Serotonin is important for your mental health/sanity and happiness as well as gut motility—yes, your tushy’s ability to comfortably bond with your toilet bowl. Going one step further, your body takes serotonin and converts it into melatonin, which is critical for good sleep.
The second amino acid is tyrosine, which is found in seeds, edamame, cheese, fish, lentils and yogurt. The bacteria in the intestine (the gut microbiome again) convert it into important molecules, such as adrenaline (the molecule that helps you have the initiative to do stressful things) and dopamine (the “feel-good” molecule).
You might see where I’m heading with this: Not enough tryptophan in your diet = not enough serotonin and melatonin = feelings of emotional distress, constipation and bad sleep. Not enough tyrosine in your diet = lack of motivation and feelings of depression.
Take a step back and think about it. When you are pregnant, you are building a little person, and that human being requires extra protein. If, however, you are not getting enough, the baby continues to be built, which depletes your load of tryptophan and tyrosine and leads to the adverse effects and feelings mentioned above. Booo.
How Do You Know Whether You’re Getting Enough Protein in Your Diet?
If you’re feeling sluggish, constipated and lacking motivation, you may have an unhealthy microbiome or be short on protein. You can slowly increase your daily intake to see if it improves your mood and bowel movements.
But, for me, following general guidelines wasn’t enough—and my symptoms proved that something larger may be amiss. I wanted to truly know what my body needed not just to handle the pregnancy, but also to provide the best environment for my baby. And as a student of science and a self-proclaimed super dork, I am a believer in measurement. If you can measure it, you can manage it!
Instead of guessing about what’s happening in your body, wouldn’t it be great to do a test to see what is actually happening? After all, pregnancy drastically changes your body—how you utilize nutrients, what appears in your blood work and your hormone levels. If you want to optimize its functioning, it’s best to know your baseline. The good news? You can test your protein levels and the health of your gut through a simple pin-prick blood test to determine whether or not you’re getting the nutrients you need in your diet—all conveniently at home.
And if you’re wondering, “How do I know if the bacteria in my gut can take the protein I’m eating and effectively turn it into these other molecules that are important for my (and my baby’s) well-being?” This can also be answered with the same test. It will show if your gut microbiome is healthy enough to convert your protein into other molecules effectively, and if it’s not, make recommendations to adjust your diet to maximize your body’s function.
Throughout my pregnancy, I religiously tested myself every three months and followed the dietary and lifestyle recommendations based on the results. I was able to move the needle on protein levels, which significantly helped my quality of sleep, kept me afloat emotionally during the hormonal roller coaster and helped ease my perpetual constipation. The changes I implemented took a few weeks to kick in (the microbiome takes around three-to-four weeks to change), but pregnancy is a nine-month process, so it’s worth the effort on the front end.
Pregnancy is tough on your mind and body, and there will be times when you have to muscle your way through. But some of these simple things can really make you just a bit more comfortable. Remember: Having a good microbiome will help with guts, butts and not going nuts.
Dr. Erika Ebbel Angle is the CEO and co-founder of Ixcela. She received her Ph.D. in Biochemistry from Boston University School of Medicine and holds a B.S. in chemistry from MIT. Erika also founded Science from Scientists, a nonprofit focused on improving STEM attitudes and aptitudes for children aged 9-13.
From a newborn with impossibly sticky poop to a toddler who won’t stay still for more than a few seconds, diaper changing challenges never stop. A single baby will literally need thousands of diaper changes in just the first year. We’ve got you, and your baby’s bottom, covered with 10 diaper hacks to make all those changes just a little bit easier.
1. Creating a Barrier A newborn’s first bowel movements are black and tar-like. It’s called meconium and it’s a sticky mess. Right from the very fist diaper change, apply a thin layer of petroleum jelly to baby’s bottom to create a barrier on the skin. For any that does get stuck on, olive oil on a clean cloth will gently clean it off.
2. Keeping Track In those early months, you’ll want to know how often baby goes to the bathroom to make sure they are getting enough nutrients. Your pediatrician is probably also going to ask how many diapers baby goes through in a day, so you’re going to want to keep track. Instead of relying on your sleep-deprived brain, try an app like Sleep Tracker, in which you can also record feedings, sleep patterns, and milestones.
3. Sizing Up Blowouts up the back of the diaper are going to happen. If they start to become a regular occurrence, go up a diaper size. The height and weight guidelines for diapers are merely suggestions, so don’t worry that the diaper will be too big. What you want to check is that the leg openings aren’t loose, otherwise you might get leakage there.
photo: iStock
4. Tricks for Receiving Blanket Chances are you received at least one package of receiving blankets in preparation for your little bundle’s arrival, and chances are you have no idea what to do with all those small, thin blankets. Laying one on top of the changing pad cover makes for a quick clean-up when things get messy. That way you don’t have to worry about constantly washing the changing-pad cover. Also, stash one in the diaper bag for on-the-go changes in your car or public changing stations.
5. Emergency Diapers Speaking of diaper bags, there will come a time when you run out of the house and completely forget to grab yours. Or you look into the bag and realize you forgot to restock diapers! To avert disaster, keep a diaper or two and a travel-size pack of wipes in your glove compartment for such an occasion. Check your stash occasionally to make sure it’s still baby’s current diaper size.
6. Diaper Cream Brush Another thing that’s bound to happen when it comes to baby bums is diaper rash. There are many creams and lotions on the market to clear up rashy bottoms, and one thing almost all of them have in common is that they are very hard to clean off your hands and always seem to get under your fingernails. One accessory that’s worth looking into is the Baby Bumco Diaper Cream Brush for all your application needs.
7. Avoid the Spray It has probably happened to every parent. You get baby all cleaned up and are grabbing a fresh diaper only to get wet before getting the new diaper on. A good tip for post-nap changes is to wait a few minutes for your little one to wake up. As they get older, babies and toddlers are less likely to pee in their sleep, so you want to give them time to get it all out before you expose them to the air. You can also place a fresh diaper over top of boys while you slip the old one off and double up underneath for girls while you change them.
8. Clothing Hacks Baby clothes have built-in features to help avoid diaper woes. Those shoulder folds on many onesies and some shirts are not only there to help get the tops over baby’s head. You can also use them to take clothes off by pulling them down instead of up, which keeps baby’s face and hair clean in the case of a blowout. For curious toddlers who like to play with zippers and snaps, put them in their pajamas backwards to keep little hands out of messy diapers.
9. Make It Fun Diaper changes can be stressful for parents and babies alike. For younger babies, sing a song or recite a nursery rhyme to keep them calm. For fidgety toddlers, set aside a few easily washable toys that are reserved for diaper time only to keep their minds distracted and their hands busy. Your little ones may actually come to look forward to changing time!
10. Overnight Diapers For heavy night wetters, look for diapers specifically labeled for nighttime. They are more absorbent than regular ones, so it’s less likely that your little one will wake up in the middle of night soaked. You can also slip a Sposie Booster Pad into any type of diaper for extra absorbency.
Parenting fact 101: once baby exits the womb, life is forever changed. Instantly, conversations about your baby’s bowel movements are the new norm, yoga pants are life and date nights are never quite the same again (partially because of conversations about baby poo and yoga pants). Read on to see some commonly, funny ways date night goes down differently once baby makes three.
Date night before baby: You decide at 6 p.m. to grab drinks at 7 p.m.
Date night after baby: Exiting the house on a whim with just the two of you? Yeah, that’s illegal. Expect at least two weeks of advance planning to coordinate your escape. Finding reliable childcare isn’t for the faint of heart. And, if the sitter cancels at the last minute? Family date night it is.
Date night before baby: You pulled out your phone without abandon to post up pics on your Instagram.
Date night after baby: Forget selfies. Stealthily glancing under the table every five minutes to see if there is a text from the sitter or to open the handy-but-kinda-creepy nanny-cam app is your new obsession.
Date night before baby: Netflix and chill.
Date night after baby: “Netflix and chill” is literally Netflix and chill, with baby, hopefully sleeping.
Date night before baby: You spent a leisurely hour or two showering, shaving and blowing your hair out to perfection.
Date night after baby: You can go from hot mess to hot mama in under five minutes flat. (Hello, topknot!) So what if your last shower happened last week and Cousin It is hiding out under your skinny jeans.
Date night before baby: Leaving your house is as simple as locking your door on the way out.
Date night after baby: Go over the written checklist detailing every possible emergency scenario (and respective instructions) with the sitter one. more. time. Then, do it again. Tear up as your partner puts the car into drive, seriously think about cancelling, then blurt out a rational thought like: “Let’s just take baby with us. Babies love five-course meals!”
Date night before baby: You connect over intellectually stimulating topics like the meaning of life.
Date night after baby: You try not to talk about baby. Then, you fail. You agree to only discuss the most sophisticated aspects of parenting—like how cute baby is when she blows spit bubbles or sucks on her toes.
