ML Interest Tag: breathing-exercises

12 Tips for Handling a Kid Who’s Scared at Bedtime

by Melissa Heckscher

If you thought sleep training was strictly for babies, think again. Bedtime and middle-of-the-night troubles can continue into the toddler years (and, basically, your kid’s entire childhood) and it usually begins with two words, spoken in a tiny voice you can’t ignore: “I’m scared.” Good luck, parents, because almost nothing is as hard to ignore as those two little words. Not I’m thirsty. Not, I’m hungry. Not, I want another story (because you’ll hear all those, too). Nope, nighttime fears are the ones that break out hearts.

“What’s tricky for parents of young children is that a child’s fears are usually coupled with natural, normal limit-pushing behaviors—stalling the bedtime routine, saying they’re not tired, wanting another sip of water,” says sleep consultant Kim Rogers, whose company, Sleeping Well Consulting, has been helping babies (and parents) sleep through the night since 2016. “Well-meaning parents are caught between wondering if their child is pushing limits like all young children do or if their child is expressing a legitimate fear that needs attention.”

So how do you know when your kiddo really is scared? And how do you show compassion without staying up all night yourself? There’s no shortage of advice online. A quick Reddit search will turn up a multitude of tricks to comfort scared sleepyheads, from using “Monster Spray” and hanging dream catchers to letting siblings sleep together or playing audiobooks as a distraction.

But what is the “right” way? Is there one? We asked experts to weigh in on what to do when your kid is scared at night. Read on to find out more.

First things first: Are they really scared?

Let’s be honest: Don’t we parents just know most of the time? Rogers says that despite a brew of conflicting emotions, parents can usually tell when children are truly scared and when they’re just doing the don’t-wanna-sleep dance.

“If a child has had a nightmare, you can usually put your hand on their chest and you can feel their hearts beating really fast,” Rogers says. But even if you can’t feel a thumping ticker, parents can usually tell if their kid is truly frightened just by the way they’re talking. If they can give you details about what’s scaring them, for instance, it’s usually legit. Experts say to trust your gut.

Stay calm

The best thing parents can do to help soothe a scared kid is to show them that you’re not scared. Be calm and in control. Offer empathy—without making anything a big deal.

“If we’re giving our child the message that being upset is upsetting to us, and therefore, we must make it stop, we end up accidentally creating more fear and anxiety for our child,” Rogers says.

Nix the “Monster Spray”

Despite the cute social media ads and Etsy pages devoted to “Monster Spray” that’ll exterminate scary creatures from your child’s room (while also making it smell delicious), experts say that these sorts of products aren’t a good idea. And that’s because THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MONSTERS. In effect, you purchasing a professionally packaged product to rid your little’s room of evil only makes them think there might actually be something sinister hiding in the darkness.

“I would not recommend perpetuating the idea that there are monsters or villains or bad guys, because what if you’re not there to spray the monster spray?” says Dr. Whitney Casares, a pediatrician and spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Instead, she suggests saying something like, “You’re scared that there are monsters. You saw a monster on that TV show. Your mind thinks that they’re real, but I’ve been around a really long time and I know there are no monsters.”

Same goes for checking the closet, under the bed, etc.

This one’s a little trickier because if your kid is truly terrified, taking a quick peek in the closets and crevices may offer the peace of mind she needs to fall back asleep. But if it becomes a nightly routine to do a full security sweep of your child’s room, you might be perpetuating those fears. In addition, this sort of nightly ritual can set the stage for more obsessive thinking, Casares says.

Instead, just say something like, “I don’t need to check for monsters because monsters don’t exist.”

You can address shadows

Shadows may seem like nothing to you, but little kids don’t always understand them. So it might help to explain how shadows form (this book may help) and how the things in their room might look on the walls and floors at night.

Don’t get stuck negotiating

Parents need to be calm when talking to their kids about their nighttime fears, Rogers says. While you don’t want to dismiss their emotions, you don’t want to dwell on them either. “Parents get so caught up in talking and negotiating, even with their two-year-olds,” she explains. “It just ends up being this long drawn-out process, with the parent thinking it’s their job to make the fear go away.”

Instead, tell your kids that they’re safe, that you are there if you need them; and that sleep is a nonnegotiable—“like buckling into the car seat.”

Always offer comfort if your child has a nightmare

According to the AAP, nightmares can begin as early as 6 months and peak between the ages of 3 and 12.  Experts say if your kid wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, you should always offer comfort. Here’s how:

  • Ask them to tell you what happened in the dream (this can reveal useful information, especially if it’s something they’re watching on TV that you can curb or has to do with something happening during the day)
  • Tell them you’re not going to let anything happen to them
  • Assure them that dreams aren’t real
  • Sit with them for a few minutes and encourage them to go back to sleep
  • Once they’re calm (or asleep), try to leave the room

If they come into your room after the nightmare, try to walk them back to their room to comfort them. If you’re too tired to get out of bed (it happens) or want to get some snuggles in, Casares says it’s OK to let your kiddo fall asleep with you after a bad dream. Just make sure your child isn’t crying “nightmare” night after night as a way to sleep in your bed (more on that below).

Related: Everything You Need to Know About Night Terrors in Toddlers

If you’re going to lay with your child… be prepared for a battle when you decide not to

We get it: Sometimes it’s just easier to lay with your kid until they fall asleep. For some parents, this works (up until the child stops wanting it). But experts warn that if parents do this, they should be prepared for pushback when they decide to call it quits.

“The parents who I work with are parents whose lives are falling apart and nobody is sleeping,” Rogers says. “If everyone is in a family bed and everyone is happy and getting plenty of sleep, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Ditto for bed-sharing (with you or a sibling)

Letting your kid climb into your bed after a nightmare—or have sleepovers with siblings to stave off bad dreams—is probably fine if it only happens a few times. But if your child is coming in every night looking to get under your covers, it’s probably becoming a habit (and not an actual nightmare).

“If your ultimate goal is to have your child sleep on their own, I wouldn’t start the habit of letting them come int0 your bed every time they have a nightmare,” Casares says. “I would have it be that you comfort them in their bed and you help them go back to sleep in their own bed.”

Letting your little sleep with a sibling can also be problematic, since there may come a day when that sibling doesn’t want to co-sleep (especially if it’s an older sibling, who will likely want to sleep solo).

Find a favorite stuffie

If your child doesn’t already have a favorite blanket, doll, or stuffie, it may help to get one. Even the AAP recommends that children have a “security object” to help them self-soothe as they “learn to transition from dependence to independence.”

Similarly, having a “brave stuffie” that sleeps with them can help them feel brave themselves. It can also work to help them self-soothe when they’re alone in their room.

Teach your kid some self-soothing techniques

Rogers recommends breathing exercises: Have your child put her stuffie on her belly and watch as it rises and falls with their breath. You can also play soothing music (no words, because this can keep a child awake) to promote relaxation.

Related: Easy Meditations for Kids

Audiobooks can work as a distraction—but may not put your child to sleep

If you’ve got an older kid who can’t quell racing thoughts after a nightmare, it’s OK to let them put on an audiobook as a distraction. For some children, this might help them fall asleep; for others, it’ll just work to fight the fear (a win) but not bring on the Zs (sigh). Younger kids may enjoy storytime podcasts like Sesame Street’s “Goodnight World,” which includes soothing music to lull littles to snoozeland. There are also sleep meditations—like these—that can help anxious kids learn relaxation tools.

Casares says you want to be careful teaching restless kids to fall asleep with music, since “if they wake up in the middle of the night they’re looking for that music again.”

Know when it’s OK to walk away

If you thought sleep training a newborn was hard on your heart, walking out of the room to let your child handle their own fears is just as difficult—if not more so. But parents need to remember that their kids are OK, and that learning to self-soothe is an important part of building resilience.

“Parents need to remember that they really are there,” Rogers says. “If it was an emergency, they’d be there in a heartbeat.”

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Why You Should Nurture Your Kid’s Emotional Intelligence

By Cara Zelas

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is understanding and recognizing your emotions, and how they impact you and those around you. It also involves perspective taking, comprehending empathy, and having a real understanding of others’ emotions too. It is about building self-awareness and learning emotional self-regulation as well as gaining the social skills to connect and understand others.

How Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Different from Intelligence Quotient (IQ)?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is intelligence specifically relating to emotions, how an individual can classify, evaluate, regulate and communicate emotions—people skills. Intelligence Quotient (IQ) refers to processing, applying, filtering, and retaining information, logical reasoning, and abstract and spatial thinking—book smart. It is a different skill set, both of which can be inherent and learned.

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence for Your Child:

  • Enhances emotional regulation

  • Encourages positive conflict resolution skills

  • Helps your child absorb critical feedback and use it constructively to grow

  • Guides your child to be a team player and work cooperatively with success

  • Activates listening skills

Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence through These 5 Actions:

1. Label your child’s emotions, give feelings a name. Acknowledging emotions by using simple language, “I see you are feeling (insert emotion),” provides validation and gives your child the affirmation that you are listening and understanding them at the moment.

2. Do simple breathing exercises to promote emotional self-regulation.

3. Be an active listener, especially if your child is harboring views that are different from yours. Ask questions to gain an understanding of why they may think a certain way and refrain from judgment.

4. Write it down or draw a picture. Sometimes when your child is experiencing a big emotion, the feeling gets trapped and swirls around their head and builds up to grow into something bigger than it may be in reality. Verbalising, writing, or drawing is a release valve.

5. Give your child a task with a goal (finishing a puzzle, getting dressed alone, putting on their shoes, etc.) this gives a sense of ownership over self-motivation. Encourage your child to follow through despite the outcome.

Research shows high levels of emotional intelligence are directly linked to academic achievement, better relationships, greater success for adulthood, and improved mental health. The most exciting thing about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be taught and learned. Nurturing your child’s Emotional Intelligence will give them a strong foundation in which to flourish.

RELATED:
Kids Who Can Manage Emotions Do Better In School, Study Finds
The One Thing We Miss When We Applaud Our Kid’s Success
How to Help Kids Handle Their Emotions

Do you have a story you’d like to share with our readers? We’d love to hear it! Sign up to contribute your story on our Voices Network.

Hi! I am an author, founder and educator. I have a Bachelor of Media Communications, Bachelor of Elementary Education Degrees as well as an Early Childhood Montessori Certification and in the process of completing a Master of Education. I live between New York and Byron Bay. I'm the mama of Grace, Theodore and Little Dude! 

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If Your Kids are Anxious about Back to School & How to Help

By Meghan Fitzgerald

Photo: Tinkergarten

I can still remember not being able to sleep the night before the first day of school. The curiosity about my new teacher, the smell of fresh pencils and paper, and the excitement of being back among classmates—it all thrilled me. As a mom, I’d love to feel the same thrill for my own kids. Part of me does, but as the first day nears, that excitement is tinged with the realization that the pandemic is still in the mix.

And, I’m not alone, in a study this summer by JAMA pediatrics, 31% of parents were likely planning not to send their kids ages 5-12 to in-person schools, when only about 4% of school-eligible kids in the U.S. are typically homeschooled.

And our kids are likely worried, too.

As we adults are musing about the return to school, how are our kids doing? In any year, the transition back-to-school is exciting and disruptive.

This year, on top of the typical back-to-school anxiety, our perceptive kiddos are also likely sensing our COVID-inspired concern. Other adults around your kids may be expressing concern as well.

You may see all of this anxiety come out in different ways—for example, kids may cling to you more, cry more readily, seem more fidgety, complain of belly aches or express more negative thoughts or feelings than usual.

Luckily, no matter how you see your child responding, there are easy ways to help ground kids and reduce their anxiety. Learning these early arms them with a toolkit of ways to cultivate calm throughout their lives!

Head Outside

Studies and our own experiences show that when kids get outdoors, they enjoy reduced anxiety and enhanced mood. According to research, you only need two hours per week to start to feel the benefits, and the more the better!

Even though new fall schedules can feel full compared to the lazy days of summer, there are easy ways to build in more outside time. Turn meals and snacks into picnics. Make the most of morning and evening time, starting or ending your day with a walk or even just a glance up at the sky. Park a little farther away from the grocery store and enjoy the stroll.

If you can’t get outside as much as you’d like, bring the outside in! Gather up a few natural objects and offer them for play. Make the most of windows and natural light. Turn on nature sounds using apps on Google Play or the Apple App Store, search in Spotify, or listen for free online at Calmsounds. Get even more ideas for bringing nature into your home here.

Uncover “Hidden” Senses

While you’re outside, you can look for ways to balance your kids’ “hidden” senses to center and calm their bodies and minds. Even though we often think about our “5 senses” (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch), there are others that help us to navigate the world and regulate ourselves. One of those hidden senses, proprioception, is the sensing of pressure in the joints, ligaments and muscles of the body—what we feel when our body hits something and gets feedback—as when we jump, push or pull something heavy.

Proprioception helps our brains know where we are in space and gives us a literal feeling of being grounded. Without this input, our brain spends cycles trying to figure out where we are and this often comes out in behavior like tapping, fidgeting or general restlessness.

Young children get this from activities like chewing, jumping, stomping, crawling, climbing, dancing, rolling or stretching. There are so many ways to weave these movements in, and being outside often inspires them naturally.

Another sense that kids need to activate is their vestibular system. Located in the inner ear, it senses changes in the movement of our heads. If kids sit in one position all day long—something that tends to happen more in formal schools—they don’t get the vestibular input they need to feel centered and focused.

Kids can activate their vestibular systems by doing activities that change the position of their heads. Start by trading screen time for active time outside that includes looking up, down and all around, spinning, rolling, swinging and bending.

Practice Mindful Activities

Try one of these simple activities when you’re outside to cultivate extra calm.

  • Play with Shapes—Looking for shapes in nature or creating them using found objects gives kids a sense of order, calm and delight.
  • Spirals—There’s something extra special about spirals. Try these ways to create or move in spirals that are sure to calm your kids (and you).
  • Climb a Tree—Sometimes it’s hard to know how to help little kids climb trees. A few tips can help you manage the risks and help kids fall in love with climbing.
  • Mud Play—Our all-time favorite at Tinkergarten, the chance to dig, mix and create with mud fires multiple senses, gives kids a sense of creative freedom, and sparks tremendous joy—the perfect balance to worries! If mud is not a perfect fit for you or your kiddo, watch this quick video for alternatives!

Mindful Movement & Breath

We know that mind and body are closely connected, and when we combine certain movements with intentional thought, we can bring ourselves into the moment, strengthen our bodies and calm our minds. This is true for kids, too.

Teaching kids breathing exercises and poses inspired by the yoga tradition helps them regroup and calm themselves. These movements don’t eliminate big feelings or frustration but they help soften those rough moments.

Use stories or metaphors from real life to help kids learn movements and activate their imagination. At Tinkergarten, we move like animals, plants or natural phenomena to deepens kids’ connection to nature.

Find easy steps to help kids center themselves like a snake, stand still and strong like a mountain or summon and send out joy like a star.

Lessons Last a Lifetime

At the end of the day, being able to calm one’s body and mind engenders a lasting sense of empowerment and resilience in kids. Knowing ways to help kids regain their calm can make both teaching and parenting smoother. Cultivating calming techniques teaches them how to weather whatever life sends their way.

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

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How You Can Help Your Child Handle Disappointment

By Jamie Edelbrock

I get excited when I see social media posts in the United States about people gathering, friends hugging and going to the grocery store without wearing masks. My social media feeds are finally filling up with concerts, parties, and vacations. July 4th looked considerably different in 2021 versus 2020. 2020 was rough and consisted of lockdowns, endless bad news about COVID-19, limited celebrations, and few get-togethers. Thankfully 2021 featured an abundance of BBQs, parades, get-togethers, and exploding fireworks that matched the excitement in everyone’s hearts as they finally get back to normal.

While this is a reality for many of the world, it is not for many expatriates overseas. Where I live specifically, the COVID-19 numbers have been higher than they’ve ever been the past five days, and new restrictions, including a lockdown, have been mandated. It feels like a repeat of 2020 but with far worse statistics.

I had to explain to my daughters that for the next few weeks, and likely the remainder of their summer, they would be inside. No more pool, no more water parks, no more malls, no more restaurants—there were all closed. On top of that, we don’t know what school will look like in the fall, but we know it won’t be back to normal.

Oof. Talk about a heavy heart and major disappointment. While most of the world is taking steps forward, we are moving backward here in southeast Asia.

Life is full of disappointments, and those disappointments come in all shapes and sizes. It could be something as simple as not getting what they expected for their birthday or not being in the same class as one of their best friends. Or, in this case, likely not returning to in-person school and embarking on yet another year of virtual school. Learning how to navigate simple disappointments at a young age will help children build resiliency tools to handle the bigger disappointments in life.

So how do we teach children to handle disappointment well? Start with these simple tips.

1. Listen & Empathize

When you listen to understand, you are letting your child that you care. And it’s ok, to be honest with how you’re feeling too! This will let your child know that they are not alone in how they are feeling.

2. Guide Expectations

It’s tempting to sugarcoat the situation to minimize the sadness. However, that could lead to more disappointment. Instead, be your child’s mentor. Tell them what to expect next and then help guide them through whatever the situation may be.

3. Learn Self Calming Skills

When a child gets disappointed, they often get sad or angry. Learning breathing exercises and grounding techniques are great ways to center, calm down, and refocus. These are helpful for adults as well!

4. Remind Them of What They Can Control

Kids tend to feel out of control when they are disappointed, so it’s good to remind them that they won’t feel this way forever and that there are some things they can control. Attitude and mindsets are great places to start. Some other examples include:

  • They can’t see their friends in person, but they can still be social by connecting over facetime or zoom.
  • They can’t meet with their piano teacher, but they can still practice the piano.
  • Their favorite flavor of ice cream is out, but they can choose another flavor.

5. Practice Gratitude

There are many benefits to showing gratitude. Studies show that expressing gratitude positively affects your health, mindset, and relationships. Working with your child to make a list of things you’re both thankful for is an excellent way to practice gratitude.

Remember, big or small, experiencing disappointment at times in life is inevitable. So, the next time playdates are canceled, they don’t make the team, or their recipe didn’t turn out as they expected, remind your child of everything they’ve already overcome and help them through the disappointment they’re facing right now. Doing so will strengthen their mental and emotional health and prepare them for whatever life throws their way—it may even help you, too!

This post originally appeared on www.jamieedelbrock.com.
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Jamie is married to her high school sweetheart and has three beautiful daughters. Through years of experience working with children, and raising her own, she knows how difficult parenting can be. She is an advocate for children's mental health and is best known for her creativity, optimism, and kind heart.

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5 Tips to Help Ease Back-to-School Fears

By Jake Rubin

After almost a year of virtual learning and homeschooling, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us face apprehension about our kids returning to school. Many questions are surrounding our kids going back into the classroom after being gone for so long. You might wonder if it’s safe, or if your kids will be able to pick up where they left off, or you might have fears that you didn’t keep up with the whole virtual learning thing as well as you thought, and your kids are now behind. 

While all of these are valid concerns, it’s essential to remember that you’re not alone, mama. Although we all faced different challenges and unique situations throughout the last year, we also shared similar fears and uncertainties. As many have noted, we might not have all been in the same boat, but we were adrift in the same storm, doing our best to navigate turbulent waters and make our way safely to shore. Perhaps it’s fate that many of our kids are heading back to school this month. After all, National Kindergarten Day is April 21st, and kindergarten is when many children begin their school careers. Many parents experience nervousness when their kids stand on the threshold of attending school for the very first time. 

Therefore, to help overcome your uncertainties about your kids returning to school post-pandemic, consider some of these tips that often help parents and children when they start kindergarten.

1. Talk about It
Your kids are likely feeling a bit unsure about what the future holds when it comes to returning to the classroom. They could be nervous; some may have likely gotten used to being home and don’t want to go back, while others could be raring to go and excited. No matter which of these describes your kids, there’s no denying that there’s a big transition coming. Talk with your kids about how they feel, share your feelings with them, and get a clear understanding of the situation. 

2. Expect Anxiousness
When you enter into a new situation, expecting certain things to happen better prepares you for when those things occur. Therefore, expect some nerves and anxieties to surface, whether it’s just your own or your children’s as well. Practice breathing exercises and coping skills with your kids ahead of time, so you’re prepared when these moments of anxiousness strike.

3. Stay Flexible
Even though things are inching back to pre-pandemic ways, things are still a bit uncertain. Therefore, flexibility is key. Stay adaptable, expect changes, and help your kids adjust when things have to shift a bit. 

4. Be Patient
Don’t expect everything to become normal, wonderful, and carefree overnight (although, is anything ever really normal?). Be patient and help your kids learn how to take things as they come. Don’t spend too much time worrying about what-ifs and what could happen; just stay focused on the moment at hand. 

5. Hold Regular Family Meetings
It’s always essential to stay up-to-date and aware of what’s going on in your kid’s life, but it’s even more critical now. Have regular meetings or check-ins, whether it’s over dinner or a family game night, to ask your kids how they’re feeling. If you sense any changes in your child’s behavior, like irritability, acting more quiet than usual, overly tired, not enjoying activities anymore, etc., don’t dismiss it as “a phase.” Talk to your kids and talk to a doctor or therapist if you sense something is going on. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

These tips will help ease your apprehension about your kids returning to school, as well as guide you in the right direction to help relieve your children’s stress and worry. However, if you’re one of many parents who have decided to continue homeschooling, check out the MamaZen app’s Mindpower Session called ‘Patience with Homeschooling’, along with other resources available in the app, to find the support you need. 

 

This post originally appeared on MamaZen.com.

Jake Y. Rubin, M.A, is a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, a former university professor of psychology, and a recognized expert in hypnosis and hypnotherapy with degrees in Psychology from UCLA and the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University. He is the founder of the MamaZen app.

 

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11 Ways to Build Resiliency in Children

By Joy Turner

We’ve heard a lot about how resilient our children are and have been throughout this pandemic, and it’s true. But we also must remember that children, and adults, are not born resilient. Resiliency is a learned skill that requires constant practice.

When children experience a traumatic event, like this year-long pandemic, where they can’t see their friends, can’t hug grandparents, can’t celebrate birthdays and holidays, you may notice they get angry or act out, and that is because they need help regaining control and establishing a more positive mindset. Other behaviors you may see that indicate this need for control are hitting/biting, tantrums, becoming overly emotional, trying to escape or hiding.

If you start to notice your child exhibiting one or more of these behaviors, there are areas you, as a parent, can focus on to help them bounce back, maintain a positive attitude and cope with stress. Validating feelings, promoting quality relationships and interactions, and creating safe, secure environments, are all ways you can help your child flex their resiliency muscle.

The most important way to promote resiliency is by following a pathway of validating feelings and expressing understanding for what children are going through. It is important for them to know that we understand and care about how they’re feeling. Quality interactions and strong family relationships can help children identify their feelings. Even the youngest of children, who might not know the emotion they are feeling or be able to give it a name, can share how they feel through visuals or by reading a book about the feeling. It’s imperative to let children know that not only are they going to be safe and secure, but that these feelings are real and valid. The ability to identify those feelings is what leads to resiliency.

Additionally, creating a safe, secure environment for your children also helps build resiliency. During the pandemic, children have largely spent most of their time at home or at school/childcare, so focus on safety and security in both of those environments.

Here is a list of specific things you and your children can do at home and at school to help build resiliency:

1. Create a routine so they know what’s going to happen every day
2. Build visual schedules that show their routine via pictures so they see the events of their day.
3. Provide continuity of care for children
4. Make sure interactions with teachers, other children and at home are positive
5. Build and focus on those “how are you feeling” type questions
6. Validate your child’s feelings by helping them name the feelings and give them techniques for moving through those feelings
7. Establish cozy corners – a quiet place children can go when they’re having “big emotions”
8. Make a sensory bin of things they can touch, squeeze, look at etc.
9. Look in the mirror with your child so they can see their emotions
10. Set up “mindful minutes” to practice breathing exercises, empathy exercises, discuss book recommendations and other activities found at our Facebook page
11. Seek help if you are a parent or caregiver who demonstrates loss of control of your emotions and actions in response to stress – children pick up on how people around them react

Resilience is the foundation of a child’s mental health, confidence, self-regulation, stress management and response to difficult events. We all want our children to feel and be resilient so that they can go grow stronger, even through an event like the pandemic!

Joy has over 20 years of experience in early childhood education. As Vice President of Education at Kiddie Academy Educational Child Care, she oversees all things curriculum, assessment, training and more. Joy earned a B.S. in Education from Salisbury University.

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10 Mindfulness Exercises Kids Can Do in the Car

By Kristi Coppa

It’s not uncommon to hear parents, especially those with young kids, lamenting about the seemingly endless hours they spend in the car. Statistics support these feelings. The U.S. Department of Transportation reports that Americans spend an astounding 84 billion hours driving each year and make an average of 2.24 trips a day. According to AAA, 25-49-year-olds, the demographic that includes parents of young children, drive even more. In fact, 51% of parents spend an upward of five hours a week driving their kids around. This translates into American families spending up to 6% of their waking hours in the car. That’s a lot of time spent doing something that is often unenjoyable.

Are there ways that families can make these endless hours slightly more useful and dare we say, enjoyable? Perhaps.

What about adding mindfulness to the car ride? It’s a common assumption that mindfulness is a sacred activity reserved for quiet moments and peaceful studios. While in some instances this is true, it doesn’t always have to be, especially when kids are involved.

Mindfulness and breathing exercises can be adapted for car rides. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment, without judgment. What better environment to pay attention than in a moving car where there are literally hundreds of colors, sounds, smells, and objects competing for attention? Here are a few ideas for mindful moments in the car:

1. Find One Sound. At a stoplight, open the window and turn off the music. Ask your child to listen very carefully and find one sound to focus on. Can they hear one bird chirp or one person talking? See how long they can listen to that one sound.

2. Finger Roller Coaster. Have your child hold one hand out, with fingers wide open. With the other hand, pick one finger to be the roller coaster. Pretending that the outline of the hand is the roller coaster track, the roller coaster finger is traced up and down the fingers, going back and forth.

3. Blowing Balloon Hands. Kids hold their hands out in front of their bodies, and touch the fingertips of the opposite hand together, making a sphere. As they breathe in, all the fingertips come together in the middle, like an inflating balloon. Slowly blowing out, they open their hands up again and keep fingers pressed together like they are blowing up a balloon.

4. Listening to a Siren. If an emergency vehicle goes by, ask the child to listen to the sound of the siren. Ask them to listen as carefully as they can and say the moment that they can no longer hear the noise. This can become a game to see who can hear the sound the longest.

5. Find the Buzzing Bee. Kids place one hand on their chests and one hand on their bellies. They take a deep breath in, close their mouths and slowly breathe out of the nose, making a humming sound, like the buzz of a bee. As they hum, they try to see if they can feel the vibration in their hands on their chests and/or the hands on their stomachs. If they can’t feel both, encourage them to try again, taking a deeper breath and breathing out slower the next time.

6. Traffic Light Affirmations. Traffic Light Affirmations is a game that requires the ability to recognize and identify the three colors of a traffic light. To begin, the people in the car are each assigned one of the three colors of a traffic light.  If there are more than three people, two can share a color. The members of the car look carefully at each traffic light. When they spot a color, they state the color out loud and say something kind about the person to whom the color is assigned. This could be something they are thankful for or something they love about the person, etc. If the light changes color, the other person gets the affirmation. If more than one person is assigned a color, each person receives an affirmation when their color is spotted.

7. Breathing Out Smiles. This is a breathing exercise adapted from the work of Thich Nhat Hahn, a Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, and peace activist. The child closes their eyes, and the adult recites “While I take a slow breath in, I relax my body, While I take a slow breath out, I smile.” If the child is able, ask them to repeat the saying or say it together as everyone takes slow, deep breaths in and slow breaths out pausing in between breaths to smile. Many parents have reported that this practice can be very calming to them as well!

8. Smells. Kids close their eyes and try to identify what they can smell in that current moment. If it’s a dry day, this is more fun with the windows open. If kids are having a hard time identifying a unique smell, an idea can be suggested, and the game can change to finding the scent that was proposed, like a smelling scavenger hunt.

9. Guided Meditations. The car can be an excellent time to listen to and practice doing guided meditations. There are a variety of excellent guided meditations that are specially adapted for young kids.

10. Tingly Hands. Kids open their arms wide and clap their hands together as hard as they can. They clap three times in a row and then place their hands on their lap, palms up. Closing their eyes, they pay close attention to the sensation in their palms, seeing if they notice a tingling sensation. Feeling that sensation, they carefully pay attention to it and open their eyes only when the feeling is completely gone.

These ten activities can help bring mindfulness into your daily routine and kids think they are calming and fun. They love using their imaginations and doing an activity with you. If even one tool works, you have succeeded in incorporating mindfulness into your car ride. Congratulations!

 

Kristi Coppa is a mom of two, a former nurse, and the creator of Wondergrade, an app to help parents teach calm-down and emotional regulation skills at home. Through creating content kids love and empowering parents to teach it, Kristi intends to help create a kinder, more resilient, and compassionate next generation.

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Gear to Get You Through the Pandemic: Our NYC Editor’s Guide

by Mimi O'Connor

Staying at home for months on end means we’re all online, and shopping online, a lot more. Our New York City Editor Mimi O’Connor feels us. Brooklyn mom to an energetic eight-year-old (who had a #quarantinebirthday in June) we asked Mimi for her top 12 products that have gotten her through the pandemic, the summer and beyond. Read on to hear more from Mimi.

Like many spots in the country, things went sideways pretty quickly here in New York. Almost literally, in March, one minute we were debating attending a birthday party at a local movie theater, the next we were locked down, celebrating by watching E.T. “together” via Zoom. (It was actually pretty fun.) My initial pandemic parenting strategy (read: fantasy) was pretty ambitious, with weekly themes explored from a 360-degree perspective; i.e. “France”, with virtual visits to the Louvre, making crepes, building a LEGO Eiffel Tower, etc. In the end, my daughter had a short-lived love affair with Duolingo and I bought some flash cards. And while the subsequent months featured more screaming than s’il vous plaît we still have had our share victories, fun, and yeah, a lot of Minecraft. Here’s what’s helped us get through the spring, summer and likely beyond..

Mead Composition Books

Even though my immersive learning program didn’t work out, we still made use of these fun Mead composition books, which we labeled for each of my daughter’s subjects during remote learning. 

Get yours here, $19.99

Oxford First Flashcards

Amazon

I haven’t given up on the French yet; these are the flashcards we bought, which while in use, were great. 

Get yours here, $9.67 

Crayola Washable Sidewalk Chalk Set

 When it was time to “Chalk the Walk”, I realized our chalk inventory was next to nil. We invested in this giant collection of chalk from Crayola, which has shades well beyond the basic. 

Get yours here, $39.97

SunPrint Paper Kit

My 70s childhood inspired this, one of my first pandemic buys, which enlists the help of the sun’s rays to make solar art prints. (Copyright 1975 from UC Berkeley, baby!)

Get yours here, $17.99

Sapadilla Rosemary + Peppermint Biodegradeable Liquid Hand Soap

I’ve been trying to concentrate on little luxuries to stay sane in these times, and a nice hand soap to go with all of that hand washing seemed fair. This one is plant-based and biodegradable and the rosemary mint scent is refreshing but not overpowering.

Get yours here, $16.99 for three

Corsair HS35 - Stereo Gaming Headset

Did I mention the Minecraft? (Or the watching of videos of people playing Minecraft…?) Some headphones became a must for the child as gaming, and remote learning kicked into high gear. These are comfortable, have good sound, and a removable mic. 

Get yours here, $39.99 

Toodour Solar String Lights

I am a big proponent of tiny lights, both indoors and out. We have a small outdoor space and these lights are the bomb, making it a bit more magical and cozy. Not quite fairy lights, they’re a bit larger and a string is 200 bulbs, 72 feet-long, with eight different “modes” like flashing, etc. (I use “steady.”) Pick a sunny spot for the charging panel, string your lights and enjoy as they turn on every night at dusk. 

Get yours here, $18.99

Intex Swim Center Family Inflatable Pool

Like many (most?) families who could, we bought an inflatable pool to weather summer in the city. It’s not like NYC’s free Olympic size-pools, but it gets the job done. 

Get yours here, $97.99

H2OGO! Double Water Slide

It turns out that our small front yard also happens to be the exact length of a slip and slide. Ours served as the focal point of a socially-distanced June birthday party and was a huge hit. (P.S. Literally our least expensive birthday ever!) 

Get yours here, $37.53

Jumbo Slow Rising Kawaii Squishies

Out of all the presents my daughter received for her birthday, this relatively inexpensive set of slow rise squishies (they "bounce back" at a slower rate than others) might have brought the most joy. And while this is not representative of her general state, she even used them for an informal mediation class during breathing exercises, which she dubbed, "squishie breathing." 

Get yours here, $12.99

MaxUSee 70mm Refractor Telescope with Tripod & Finder Scope

Another birthday present, this was inspired by recent stargazing activity, and bought with the hope of using it when we head upstate for a bit later in the summer. (We use the free app SkyView Lite for help finding constellations in the city.) It's a nice combo of not too complicated, but with enough features to be a level up from basic. 

Get yours here, $61.99

Craftzilla Colored Duct Tape - 6 Color Multi Pack

Our daughter attends a Percy Jackson-inspired camp, for which kids make their own (safe) swords and shields out of cardboard and duct tape, and she in fact enrolled in an online camp for that very purpose this summer. Having a full arsenal of colors on hand is great for personalization, and our duct tape stash has come in handy for reenforcing forts, etc. 

Get yours here, $14.99

Outschool

Like many families, we’ve been exploring online classes to engage our kid during this time. Our daughter has taken the Outschool class "Girl Power! Graphic Novels written by Women about Strong Girls” with Dr. Danielle Rhodes and has really enjoyed it. (We’ve already signed up for the second session, and Rhodes has now added a third installment.) The class meets once a week to discuss graphic novels from female authors with strong girl protagonists, some familiar, some less so. 

Get a few of our favorites here, here and here, $7.44-$9.11

The Babysitter's Club

Netflix

Yes, it's a television show (i.e. screen time), but this Netflix adaptation of the popular YA series (now also in graphic novel form) is charming, smart and features a fun and diverse cast. It also doesn't shy away from complicated or nuanced situations, such as friend politics, divorce, health issues, etc. Recommend! 

Online: netflix.com

Unless noted, all images from Amazon/retailers; main image, Amazon

—Mimi O’Connor

RELATED STORIES:

Safe & Smart: NYC In-person & Outdoor After School Programs & Classes

Back in Action: Our Guide to What’s Re-Opened in NYC

What You Need to Know About NYC Pandemic Learning Pods

 

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10 Live Streams to Check Out NOW

by Meghan Yudes Meyers

Whether you’ve embraced full-time homeschooling or you’re dabbling in remote teaching, these local businesses are making it easy to fill your daily schedule with educational lessons that are fun and entertaining. If you’re looking to fill the gaps between online instructions or you need to hop on a conference call (or take a shower!) these live streams offer an interactive experience that your average Disney movie can’t deliver. Feel inspired? Consider supporting these services during these unprecedented times.

photo: Kennedy Center 

Lunch Doodles with Mo Willems
Kennedy Center Education Artist-in-Residence, Mo Willems, invites your kids into his studio every day for Lunch Doodles with Mo Willems at 1 p.m. Kids of all ages can practice their drawing skills with each virtual studio visit.

Support: Make a tax-deductible donation here.
Online: kennedy-center.org/education/mo-willems/

photo: Meg Kerns

Learning Livestream
Tune in to the Learning Livestream Mon.-Fri. at 2 p.m. for programming designed for Pre-K, K and first-graders. Meg Kerns, a former elementary school teacher and NOVA mom, covers reading, sight words, spelling, math facts and math concepts. Kids will also enjoy stories, songs and easy-to-do-at-home activities. If you missed the live stream, you can watch a replay.

Online: themotherofchaos.com

 

photo: Bill Jilen via Unsplash

How Things Fly with the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum
3-2-1… Blast-off with online fun from the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum. You and your crew may be grounded, but you can still take-off with activities and archived lectures, courtesy of the Air & space Museum. We recommend the How Things Fly activity page. Design and launch rockets with RocketLab, a 3D game or learn how to control and fly various aircraft with an online simulator.

Support: Become a member here.
Online:  http://howthingsfly.si.edu/activities

photo: Dancing Bear Toys & Gifts

1 for Fun with Dancing Bear Toys & Gifts
Every day at 1 p.m. tune in for a puppet show, a science experiment, a ukulele lesson and more as the team from Dancing Bear Toys & Gifts guide you and your little one through an hour of online fun. Looking to add more ways to play indoors? This store in Frederick, MD is offering curbside pick ups so you can stock up on games, puzzles and DIY projects for indoor fun.

Support: Call (301-631-9300) to order toys for curbside pick-up.
Online: facebook.com/dbeartoys

photo: The Lane

Virtual Events with The Lane (Anti) Social Club
DC’s newly opened family social club, The Lane, is offering virtual events to keep the littles entertained at-home. Inspiring events that were originally scheduled for the new swanky indoor playground will now be available for small, online gatherings via Google Meet. You can score free tickets for upcoming events here. A donation of $5 or more is suggested.

Support: Donations go to support Virtual Events.
Online: thelanesocialclub.com

photo: BalletNova

Live Streamed Classes with BalletNova
It’s a great time to pick up a new activity; why not dance? Online classes at this studio include ballet, jazz, tap, theater, yoga and more geared for children, teens and adults. Check BalletNova’s Facebook page for daily schedules.

Support: You can donate here.
Online: facebook.com/BalletNovaCenterForDance

 

photo: Valeria Ushakava via Pexels

Play to Grow
Don’t let four-walls keep you from stretching your limbs; Maryland’s only aerial yoga studio for kids is hosting a virtual studio. Play to Grow has other awesome resources for your home-bound kiddos. You can checkout mindful breathing exercises and download free resources like a mindful coloring page and a Calm Down Kit.

Online: playtogrowmd.com

 


photo: The Goodfriend Art Studio

The Goodfriend Art Studio
Get out your paper, and paints and follow along with The Goodfriend Art Studio as they lead kids 4 & up in artful afternoons. Every day at 1 p.m. you can tune in to the studio’s Facebook page for a livestream lesson. Or check back later for the instant replay.

Online: facebook.com/goodfriendartstudio

 

photo: Mr. Jon and Friends

Mr Jon and Friends
Jump-start your morning with one of DC’s most beloved kids acts, Mr. Jon & Friends. Starting at 10:30 a.m., Mr. Jon entertains and delights little ones with songs you can dance to. Stay tuned for an upcoming YouTube concert!

Support: Donations are welcome.
Online: facebook.com/MrJonandFriends

 photo: Crescendo Communication

Virtual Circle Time with Crescendo Communication
Currently running every day (including Sat. & Sun.), Crescendo Communication is featuring a virtual circle time for music enthusiasts. Enjoy stories, songs, dance and general silliness. Sessions are held three times a day. Classes start at $18. A webinar link and instructions are emailed after ticket purchase.

Online: linktr.ee/crescendo.communication

—Meghan Yudes Meyers

RELATED STORIES:

10 Family Podcasts to Download NOW

 

60+ Online Learning Resources for Your Kids from Toddler to Teen

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