What comes first? Goodnight Moon or This Is Us? Since we can’t definitively answer the question about the chicken or the egg, it’s doubtful we’ll get to the bottom of this question either. Regardless of our philosophical conclusions, after watching last night’s episode the real takeaway is: from this point forward, we will never be able to have one without the other in our heart space Thank you, brilliant This Is Us writers.
But the more compelling question is, “Whose soul-bound idea was it to write Goodnight Moon into the script anyway?” Weaving such a unique thread through an episode set out to prove the human collective has shared experiences across every spectrum is creative genius. Whoever you are, I’m still giving a standing O over here. Listen close and you’ll hear my robust display of hand clapping echoing through time and space.
Here’s the thing. Goodnight Moon is a simple book. No glitz, no glamour—just the story of a bunny saying goodnight to the world before going to sleep. And the simplicity is what turns this tiny classic into a family favorite. Goodnight Moon is a universal, feel-good, tuck-your-kids-into-bed staple for every parent. Who knew a make-believe book with 132 words could touch hearts across the globe? And who knew a T.V. show with pretend story lines could annihilate hearts across the same globe?
This Is Us reminded us we all walk through life with similar journeys in which we experience joy, face hardship, celebrate success, and fight demons. We aren’t alone in our own universe—all of us fall asleep under the same moon. And if we can remember everyone has a story, maybe we can muster up more compassion for our fellow man. The writers used another stroke of genius to help us hone in on this truth with the parallel of everyone has a story they read their child before bed. Just wow.
Because both the book and the show are forever classics, I thought we all could use a This Is Us version of Goodnight Moon.
Goodnight This Is Us
In the great Pearson room
There was a husband and wife
And the Big Three
And many pictures of-
Their family tree
And there were three little hearts stock full of love
And five plates
And a pair of soulmates
And a little yellow terrible towel
And a deep sense of wow
And a Buddhist necklace and a lunar pendant and a Pilgrim Rick descendent
And a quiet karma, warm and resplendent
Goodnight Pearson room
Goodnight family tree
Goodnight hearts beating with glee
Goodnight light
And the Big Three
Goodnight hearts
Goodnight love
Goodnight plates
And goodnight soulmates
Goodnight Bec
And goodnight Jack
Goodnight yellow terrible towel
And goodnight sense of wow
Goodnight Buddhist necklace
And goodnight lunar pendant
Goodnight nobody
Goodnight Pilgrim Rick descendent
And goodnight karma, warm and resplendent
Goodnight stars
Goodnight air
Good night beautiful memories everywhere
And, um, #ThisIsUs writers, this show can never end. Like never ever.
Sappy soul whisperer, sarcasm aficionado and pro-LOVE Jesus-adoring mom of three Millennials writing stuff about motherhood and life, while hanging out with the hubs of 25 years.
From why quiet time rocks to treating everyone with kindness and respect, there’s a lot we can learn from the Japanese. Exposing kids to the rich and varied aspects of the culture can be as simple as attending a festival or stopping by a Botanic or Japanese Tea Garden for stunningly authentic landscapes. Or, it can be taken one step further (many steps, actually!) with a trip to Japan. Keep reading to discover the life lessons that’ll await you during your travels.
photo: Wendy Altschuler
Be Clean: No Shoes in the House!
Traditional Japanese houses, called ryokans, have tan straw tatami mats on the floors instead of wood or carpeting. Slippers are worn in the house and shoes are expected to be left at the door, toes facing out. Many traditional homes also have rubber or plastic slippers for the shower and separate slippers for the toilet (toilets and showers are separated). Many public shrines and temples abide by the no-shoe rule as well.
Be Quiet: Mum’s the Word
Tokyo has a population of nearly 14 million people, and trains and buses are packed to the gills. Surprisingly though, everyone is quiet: being aware of others around you, and being courteous of their space, is a valuable lesson to learn. Kids realize they are not invisible—people can hear and see them, and they learn to act accordingly.
photo: Wendy Altschuler
Be Respectful, Be Kind
Japanese culture is all about showing reverence to everyone. Restaurants, shops, and some homes have little curtains that force you to bow before entering—it doesn’t matter who you are or what your status may be, you’ll need to show respect. When you are served food on the street, it is delivered with a bow. Little acts of kindness are everywhere—in the paper flower attached to gift wrapping, in the special calligraphy on the temple entrance ticket, and in the gold flakes dusted on the ice cream cone.
Be Accountable: Pack in, Pack out
Garbage cans are few and far between in urban spaces, which forces people to be accountable and responsible for their own trash. The streets, train platforms, shopping areas are all pristine as a result. When you have to carry your trash, you become more considerate in regards to packaging.
photo: Wendy Altschuler
Be One with Nature: Breath in, Breathe Out
There is one consistent thing about many cities in Japan: nature lives everywhere. The Japanese commemorate every season, often with a flower or snow representing that time of year, and celebrations highlight the changing of nature’s cycles. From walking around a sculpted garden to strolling in the woods to visiting a Shinto shrine or Buddhist temple, green spaces and natural loveliness exist everywhere—urban or country, year-round.
Be Mindful: Waste Not Want Not
Wasting food—especially rice—is considered bad manners. Children are taught to not take more food than they can eat. Slurping, however, is fine when it comes to noodle-y pleasures.
photo: Wendy Altschuler
Be Celebratory: Festivals & Culture
Japan has many festivals, or matsuri, all year long that celebrate children, the changing of the seasons, the growing of rice, ancestors and more. One ceremony not to miss while in Japan is the tea ceremony, a ritual that involves a series of actions to prepare, present and partake in a cup of green tea.
Be Open: Experience Variety
There are so many different types of places you can stay while in Japan, and it’s fun to experience a mixture. Try a capsule hotel in Kamakura; a Godzilla-themed hotel, a robot hotel in Toyko, an Airbnb in Osaka, a traditional ryokan with sliding paper walls and tatami floors in Hakone or the luxe Four Seasons in Kyoto, complete with koi pond, swimming pool and tea house.
photo: Wendy Altschuler
Get There: Make It Happen
If you don’t want to do the planning yourself, Abercrombie & Kent has many inimitable family-friendly adventures to choose from that feature Japanese culture.
Does the new year have you looking for ways to bring a greater sense of calm to your family’s hectic life? Hoping to manage meltdowns and general stress? Then you’ve likely come across the practice of mindfulness—moment to moment awareness of one’s experience. Guess what? It helps kids manage stress, too, and more and more places around the city are helping little ones get centered. Read on for a quick primer, and where mindfulness for kids is happening in NYC.
Carla Naumburg: The formal definition that I like is “Paying attention to the present moment with kindness and curiosity so we can choose our next behavior.”
RT: How is mindfulness different from basic meditation or yoga, of which there are plenty of classes for kids in NYC?
CN: Mindfulness is a perspective, a particular way of paying attention to one’s experience. Meditation is a way of formally practicing mindfulness. You can be mindful of whatever you are doing over the course of the day, by making a choice to pay attention to the book you are reading to your kids, or the noodles you are cooking, or whatever. However, meditation is about spending a period of time intentionally focusing your attention on something (often, your breath, but you can also do walking meditation, listening meditation, etc…) as a way of strengthening the mindfulness muscle in our minds, if you will.
RT: So many programs mention Buddhism. Is mindfulness a religion?
CN: The current mindfulness movement in the United States does have roots in the Buddhist tradition. However, mindfulness itself is not religious at all; it is just about one’s internal experience. Virtually every religious tradition has a history of contemplative practice, and if parents are interested in integrating their own religious or spiritual background into their mindfulness practice, that’s great. If they prefer a completely secular approach, that’s great too.
RT: Is mindfulness for kids different than for adults? Should parents approach it differently for children than they might for themselves?
CN: The core concepts are the same. While adults may respond well to more formal training in mindfulness, it may make more sense to teach mindfulness to children in a variety of different ways, including:
• Reading them picture books about mindfulness so you have a shared language and story to refer to
• Playing games and doing crafts that support a mindful experience (Jenga, puzzles, beading, etc. – as opposed to electronic games)
• Practicing mindfulness outside – there are fewer distractions in the outdoors! (Noticing walks, mindful listening, etc.)
RT: What are the benefits of mindfulness specifically for children? What are the benefits for parents?
CN: Mindfulness strengthens our pre-frontal cortex, which is the part of our brain responsible for executive functioning – our abilities to plan ahead, pay attention, think flexibly, respond thoughtfully, manage difficult emotions, etc. You can imagine all the ways in which this might be helpful for both parents and children in terms of managing stressful situations, sustaining attention in boring or challenging situations, and dealing with big emotions in skillful ways. Research has found that mindfulness practice can improve sleep, decrease anxiety and depression, and increase social and academic functioning in kids (and adults), among other benefits.
RT: Does the practice need to be formal or can it be DIY by the family? Is there a specific routine/time to follow?
CN: Some families prefer formal routines, and others will do better with a DIY/organic approach. My book has over 100 different activities, games, and practices, and parents can use any of the practices, modify them, or create their own based on their own cultural or religious background, family size and structure, and personal style and preference.
RT: Can you offer some specific tips for parents in teaching it to their children?
CN: Teaching your kids to notice their breathing is a great way to start – mindful breathing is an easy and effective way to come back into the present moment, no matter what else is going on. For the youngest children (babies and toddlers), you can start by just paying attention to your own breathing when you’re with your kids. Once they get to preschool age, you can have them pretend to hold a flower in one hand and a bubble wand in the other. They can breathe in the smell of the flower and breathe out to blow a bubble. You can also have them lay down and put a “breathing buddy” (a small stuffed animal) on their tummies and they can rock it to sleep with their breath. Never, ever force mindfulness on your kids. It should never be a punishment. But, the most important place for parents to start is with their own practice. It is simply not possible to teach mindfulness to another person if you’re not practicing it yourself.
Where You and the Kids Can Give Mindfulness a Whirl So, if you’re interested in introducing the idea of mindfulness to a child but don’t have a clue about it yourself, there are places in NYC where your child – and you – can both learn and benefit.
Mindfulness for Families Chelsea’s Rubin Museum of Art is hosting a Mindfulness for Families: Tools for Building a Stress-Free Family series on select Sundays, with sessions focusing on how mindfulness can be applied to different aspects of family life. Upcoming workshops include “Parenting Patterns and Reconstructive Memory – Making Way for Mindful Discipline” (March 11) and “Compassion and Limits – Creating Structure for Mindful Family Growth”(May 13). Admission for one adult also includes one child.
Tickets: $50
March 11 & May 13; 11 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
The Rubin Museum of Art
150 W. 17th St.
Chelsea
212-620-5000
Online: rubinmuseum.org
The Well-Rounded Experience: Kadampa Meditation Center Learn at the same time as your child, but not alongside them. Every Sunday from 11 am to 12:30 pm, kids get their own lesson in mindfulness while parents practice in the main meditation hall. The 90 minutes include Buddhist teachings, guided instruction, a group story, arts & crafts and even a snack! Donations are welcome.
For the Little Guys: Shambhala Meditation Center of NYC Shambhala Meditation Center of NYC breaks its meditation groups for kids into Tiger Cubs (ages 3-5) and Lions (ages 6 and up). Offered the first Sunday of every month, these sessions incorporate Shambhala themes as well as Buddhist ones, and stress that all children are goodness, curiosity and kindness personified. But maybe they need a wee bit of help getting there on a regular basis. $20/session.
The Center is also planning an after-school program, “Mindful+ Art, Action, Awareness” with teachers Gala Narezo & Sarah Wayland-Smith. Children ages 8-12 meet to learn mindfulness meditation and awareness techniques and explore art projects based on themes of webs & weavings. Tuesdays, 4 – 5 p.m.
Family Time: Vajradhara Meditation Center For parents who’d like to get into the act — or can’t get to Chelsea on a Sunday — this Brooklyn location hosts weekly Family Meditation: Mindfulness for Families and Kids sessions on Sundays from 10 – 11 a.m. Class content is adapted each week to the families in attendance, but generally consists of family meditation, free play, and discussion of Dharma topics appropriate to both middle school kids and parents. (In you are interested in attending, double check the schedule before heading out.)
Thoroughly Modern Mindfulness: MNDFL Since arriving in the city two years ago, modern meditation space MNDFL has expanded to three locations: the original in Greenwich Village, The Upper East Side, and Williamsburg. With a space and website that feel more Soul Cycle than Siddhartha, MNDFL welcomes kids ages eight and over to saddle up alongside adult students on a cushion. Drop-in classes are 30 or 45 minutes in length, and topics/areas of focus range from reducing stress and anxiety, increasing energy, and sleeping better. Classes are $18 and up, with bulk pricing discounts.
Master Class: Vipassana Meditation Center
For the experienced young meditator, this program dedicated to the practice of Anapana meditation for children ages 8-12. Full day schedules include guided meditations, stories, discussions, games, art activities and snacks. This program segregates by age and gender, and stresses that children must fully understand what they are embarking on; an application and parental permission is required.
Dhamma House NYC
247 W 38th St. #1003
Midtown West
413-625-2160
Online: dhara.dhamma.org
Namaste! Where do your kids get centered? Tell us in the comments below!
I knew from an early age that I didn’t want to be a birth mother. There was nothing wrong with my body, or my mind, I often dreamt about getting married and was always described as a loving person.
I vividly remember the conversation I had with my father when I was a teenager. I was raised in a Catholic family in Croatia and a statement like this was a rather controversial one. To defend my opinion in front of my puzzled yet highly intellectual and wise father, I stated that there were already too many children in the world who were neglected, abused or orphaned and in need of someone’s love. And despite my father’s convincing theories about natural maternal instincts which would eventually lead me to natural motherhood, deep inside I knew it wouldn’t. I just knew that I am capable of loving all children and that life would eventually provide me with the opportunity to do so.
As the years went by, this conviction never faltered and in all my relationships, including my first marriage, I insisted on not having children. As this was often met with resistance, I thought that my path might be to adopt. However, during a seven-year single stint in my early thirties, I dropped the idea, as I knew how impossible adoption is, as a single woman. By late thirties, I hadn’t given up on being in a relationship and imagined my potential partner as having children already. I liked the idea of being a step-mum and as I have a fabulous relationship with my own stepmother, I had a terrific role model.
As a Buddhist, I love people equally and I worked hard on my spiritual growth and to attract a spiritually aware and emotionally healthy person. And what do you know, it happened when I wasn’t looking for it! As I sit in our family house, with my soul mate and his two little boys playing lego, I am aware that I am living my dream. I didn’t know it back then, but the universe had a plan for me all along.
I am a very active parent. My contribution to their lives is love, kindness, compassion and wisdom. I will never be their birth mother, nor do I feel that I need to be. All that comes from my heart is my desire to give. I am not obliged, expected or asked. I choose to enjoy their presence. I enjoy the opportunity to mend a wound when there is one, create a space for laugher, and guide them with clarity. I am honoured to be loved by these beautiful little souls. And grateful to my partner for allowing me in. But more than anyone, I am humbled by the wisdom that has guided me all these years. By that self-awareness, knowing what I needed to become even when I didn’t fully understand. I am amazed by how natural it feels to be a step-mum and how unnatural I feel when I imagine conceiving my own child.
We live in an amazing time in history. Even fifteen years ago articles like this would be rebuked because a woman is not complete if she is not a birth mother. I know I’m not alone in this opinion and draw encouragement from Jennifer Aniston breaking her no public comment rule, to stated in Huffington Post last year that she “is not a mother, and no less a woman”.
Yet we have a long way to go to as there is still a lot of stigma attached to not being a birth mother. It is our duty, as modern and educated women to support each other instead of shaming or labelling each other as something less of a person, if they are not a birth mother. Women like me bring another light to this world; we are complete in who we are. I give all my love to my step-children, even though I haven’t given birth to them.
And as to being a step mother, I’m glad we’ve moved on from the Brothers Grimms idea of a step mother as the wicked witch!
And finally, we as step or adoptive parents undergo a lot of scrutiny, but why not introducing that to everyone? Bring on a parenting assessment. There are too many children born into families with violence, substance abuse or worse. Isn’t that an act of selfishness? The test should be called: how much selfless love do you have to give? Maybe that is one of the ways in which we can reduce the suffering in the world.
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A new stepmum, Buddhist life coach, speaker, writer and serial entrepreneur; Duda sees her self in her work as a bridge between the monks and the ordinary person. She runs the “Little School of Buddhism” and together with her partner, two spiritual retreats in Bali, one for women and the other for parents.
