When it comes to the season of the rabbit, we’ve always got a few good puns up our sleeves. These Easter jokes are ready to make your little bunnies laugh, whether you want a joke-a-day or just a day of jokes, these jokes for kids are the perfect way to celebrate the season. Don’t forget to check out our favorite spring jokes for kids, and riddles for kids!

Easter Bunny Jokes

What kind of bunny can't hop?

A chocolate bunny. 

What do you call a bunny with lice?

Bugs Bunny!

Where does the Easter Bunny like to eat out?

IHOP.

How does the Easter Bunny travel all over the world?

Via hareplane. 

How do you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

Via hare mail. 

What do you call a Transformer Bunny?

Hop-timus Prime. 

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?

Eggs-ercise 

What does a bunny like to dance to?

Hip-hop. 

What do you call a bunny with money?

A millionhare. 

What is a rabbit's favorite jewelry?

A 24-carrot gold ring. 

What do you call a rabbit with a cold?

A runny bunny. 

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

I'd like to get to gnaw you. 

What do you call a bunny who tells jokes?

A funny bunny! 

Why did the Easter Bunny go on strike?

He wanted a better celery. 

Easter Egg Jokes

Happy Easter sign
Priscilla du Preez via Unsplash

What did one egg say to the other egg?

Heard any good yolks lately?

What do you call a zen Easter egg?

An ommmmmmlet. 

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Wendy. 

Wendy who?

Wendy Easter Egg Hunt gonna' start?

What did the egg say when the Easter Bunny told a joke?

You crack me up. 

How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?

Only one. After that, it's not empty anymore. 

What stories do Easter eggs tell their children?

Yolk tales. 

What did the Easter Egg ask for when he went to the hair salon? 

A new dye job. 

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for his miserable summer.

—reader submitted by Kaci Y.  

Funny Easter Jokes

happy kids love Easter jokes
iStock

Why are you so tired in April?

Because you just finished a March. 

How does Easter always end?

With an "r."

Why did the jelly bean go to school?

Because he really wanted to be a Smartie. 

What kind of vegetable is angry?

A steamed carrot! 

Would February March?

No, but April May. 

Where does Easter take place every year?

Where eggs marks the spot!

How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?

Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Sherwood.

Sherwood who?

Sherwood like to have as much Easter candy as you!

Where did the vampire keep his Easter candy?

In his Easter casket.

 

Got a little comedian in your household? These Valentine’s Day jokes for kids are sure to crack a smile sweeter than any chocolate. Let the kids memorize a few to share with friends, or write them on a note for V-Day lunches. Either way, you’re sure to get a laugh, a hug, and probably at least one eye roll. If your kiddo needs more joke material to work with, try out our other jokes for kids. If you’re looking for other Valentine’s Day fun for kids, check out these DIY gifts they can make for friends or loved ones, and Valentine’s Day-themed food and treats they’ll love.

Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids
iStock

1. What do you call the world's smallest Valentine’s Day card?
A valen-teeny.

2. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!

3. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

4. What did the cucumber say to the pickle?
You mean a great dill to me.

5. How did the phone propose to his GF?
He gave her a ring.

6. What did the one sheep say to the other?
I love ewe!

7. And how did the other sheep respond?
You’re not so baaaaaa-d yourself.

8. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.

cute kids with paper hearts smiling at Valentine's Day jokes for kids
iStock

9. And what did the tweenager give his mom? 
Ughs and kisses!

10. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?
I wuv you watts and watts!

11. What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

12. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
Their ghoul-friend.

13. What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?
Be my Valen-slime!

14. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Luke
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!

15. Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party?
Because you can really party hearty!

16. What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflowers!

17. What do owls say to declare their love?
Owl be yours!

18. What did one bee say to the other? 
I love bee-ing with you, honey!

Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids
Obi Onyeador via Unsplash

19. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

20. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
They are very scent-imental creatures.

21. What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
The day after when all the candy is on sale.

22. What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
I love you with all my art.

23. What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend?
Sherwood like to be your valentine.

24. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
He stole her heart.

25. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

26. What shade of red is your heart?
Beat red! 

27. What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?
Don't ever change, you're purrrfect.

28. Why would you want to marry a goalie?
Because he (or she) is a real keeper!

Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids
iStock

29. What type of shape is most popular on Valentine's Day?
Acute triangle. 

30. Have you got a date for Valentine's Day?
Yeah, it's February 14th. 

31. What did Frankenstein's monster say to his bride on Valentine's Day?
Be my Valenstein! 

32. What flowers get the most kisses on Valentine's Day?
Tulips (two-lips). 

33. Who always has a date on Valentine's Day?
A calendar. 

34. Knock knock! 
Who's there?
Atlas!
Atlas who?
Atlas, it's Valentine's Day! 

35. What kind of candy is never on time?
Choco-LATE.

36. Why was the rabbit happy?
Because somebunny loved him!

—Joshua Y., age 9

37. Why don't you ever date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.

—Joshua N. 

38. What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
With love and hisses.

 

Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids
iStock

39. What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel on Valentine's Day? 
I'm nuts about you!

40. What did the raspberry say to his valentine? 
I love you berry much. 

41. What's the most romantic utensil? 
A fork because it has Valen-tines. 

42. What Valentine's message was on the honeycomb?
Bee mine.

43. What did one oar say to another? 
"Can I interest you in a little row-mance?" 

44. What are artichokes known for? 
Their hearts. 

45. On Valentine's Day, what did the calculator say to the pencil? 
"You can count on me."

46. What kind of candy is always late on Valentine's Day? 

Choco-LATE

47. What does a Jedi Master say on Valentine's Day?

Yoda one for me.

48. What did the magnet say to the paperclip?

I find you very attractive. 

49. What did the scientist say to their sweetheart?

"You must be made out of oxygen and neon because you are the ONe"

Trying to figure out a way to call Santa? Here’s everything you need to know

Even if you can’t have your one-on-one with Santa at the mall, you can still get your time with him. There are lots of fun options, and we’ve rounded up our favorite ways to get Santa’s phone number (many of them are free!). Here’s where you’ll learn how to get in touch with Father Christmas at the touch of your smartphone, web browser, or even your home assistant.

Santa Hotline

how to call Santa's phone number
Kraken Images via Unsplash

It couldn’t get easier to call Santa's phone number: all you need is a phone to dial up Santa’s Hotline. This free, international number connects kids directly to a voicemail box where they can leave messages at the North Pole. Available throughout the United States (as well as 13 countries including France, Sweden, and Australia), it’s a simple concept that will add that little extra pinch of magic dust to your holiday. Simply dial +1-319-527-2680 or +1-712-770-4404 and get talking!

Related: 8 Ways to Keep Track of Santa This Christmas (We’ll Show You How!)

Call Santa with Alexa

Amazon

If you have an Echo Dot Kids or FreeTime on Alexa, all you have to say is “Alexa, call Santa.” You'll hear from elves, Jack Frost, and even Santa himself (Each time it may be different, and you'll often get holiday jokes!). To make sure you're set up for FreeTime, in your Alexa app, select the Devices icon, then select the compatible Alexa device for which you would like to enable Amazon FreeTime on Alexa. Then tap FreeTime, and follow the on-screen prompts to complete your setup.

Message from Santa! App

get a message from santa's phone number
Apple App Store

The Message from Santa app has tons of features! Parents can help their kids start a video message from Santa, receive a phone call, call Santa's voicemail, and even text the jolly old elf himself. This is a free app (with in-app purchases for additional features) and is available for iOS and Android devices.

Google Home Call Santa

Paul Agrusti via YouTube

Use your Google Assistant and Google Home device to call Santa! All you have to say is "Hey Google, call Santa" and you'll get to hear about how Santa Claus is busy rehearsing for a musical concert—but he only knows one song and needs your help! Kids can also make a call on a Smart Display to see all the fun album covers from the North Pole bands.

Christmas Dialer

how to get santa's phone number
iStock

Has little Johnny and Susie been good this year? Now you can let Santa do the asking! When you use Christmas Dialer, you can choose for either Santa or one of his elves to place a call to your child. Select one of four different messages, including, "be good," "on my list," "something special," or "sweet dreams." Parents can use the pre-populated messages or type their own and then call Santa right away. 

Portable North Pole

santa phone number
Portable North Pole

The Portable North Pole's website and mobile app let creative parents like yourself create customized Santa greetings on video to awe and excite your wee ones. With a few screen taps, answer questions about your child (or children—Santa can address your kids individually or as a group!) and upload some favorite pictures to create a charming message from St. Nick that arrives by email.

Make sure to capture all the memories—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

 

 

 

 

 

These hilarious Christmas jokes will keep the whole family laughing for hours

The weather outside may be frightful but there’s nothing like some rolling laughter and hilarious Christmas jokes to warm you right up (except, maybe cocoa). If you’re looking for the funniest Christmas jokes for kids, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got Santa jokes, elf jokes, snowman jokes, and when you’re done, be sure to get them giggling with our ultimate list of jokes for kids, funny dad jokes, and birthday jokes.

Holiday and Christmas Jokes

1. What should you give your parents at Christmas?

A list of what you want.

2. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?

A cookie sheet.

3. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?

Elephanta Claus.

4. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

He refers to his calen-deer.

5. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinselitus

6. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?

Because it was Decembrrrrr!

7. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?

A pine-apple!

8. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?

The letter “Y!”

9. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?

Because of all the wrapping!

10. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?

It had no legs.

11. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?

Because he went down in history.

12. Knock knock
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut, who?
Donut open the presents until Christmas! 

13. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?

Silent Night.

14. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

15. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?

Chick to chick.

16. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?

Orna-mints.

17. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal's office? 

Rude-olf.

18. Where do reindeer go for coffee? 

Star-bucks.

19. Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?

It needs a little trim.

20. Why didn't the tree get a present?

He was knotty.

21. What do grouchy sheep say during the holidays?

Baaaaaa humbug!

22. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?

Moo-years Day.

23. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?

Merry Christmas to ewe.

Related: 23 Festive Holiday Games You Need to Play with the Kids

Elf Jokes

little boy laughing at Christmas jokes, elf jokes, and santa jokes
iStock

24. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?

He got 12 months.

25. What does an elf study in school?

The elfabet.

26. What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish!

27. What is an elf’s favorite sport?

North-pole vaulting.

28. What kind of music do elves like?

"Wrap" music.

29. What does an elf work on after school?

His gnomework.

30. What kind of car do elves drive in the off-season?

A minivan.

 

Related: 12 Cool Amazon Alexa Christmas Games & Skills for Kids

Santa Jokes

iStock

31. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause

32. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?

It looks like rain, deer.

33. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney?

Santa Claustrophobia

34. What's another name for Santa's Little Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

35. What do you get when Santa plays detective?

Santa clues!

36. How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

Nothing! It was on the house.

37. What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?

Comet.

38. What's Santa's favorite candy? 

Jolly Ranchers

 

Related: 11 Christmas Minute to Win It Games the Kids Will Love

Snow and Snowman Jokes

family making a snowman and laughing at Christmas jokes and snowman jokes
iStock

39. Where does a snowperson keep their money?

In a snow bank.

40. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)

41. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?

A chill pill.

42. What did one snowman say to another snowman?

You’re cool.

43. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?

A snowball.

44. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowperson?

Frostbite!

45. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

The abdominal snowman.

46. What falls but never gets hurt?

Snow.

47. What snack should you make for the Snowperson Holiday Party?

Ice Krispy Treats

—Emmerson H., 13

48. What do you call a snowperson in July?

A puddle.

49. What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These u-pick farms are the perfect way to welcome the fall season

Fall is around the corner, and aside from the beautiful colors and autumn hikes around San Francisco, it’s also apple season! Apple picking is one of our favorite fall activities, as the fruit is mostly within a kid’s reach and there are no thorns to deal with (looking at you, blackberries). Bring home a basket or two and make yourself a pie or homemade applesauce (snag yourself this apple peeler—you’ll thank us later).

Pro Tip: Check the orchard’s website before you head to these U-pick apple orchards in the Bay Area to confirm availability. Since most of them are a drive, you want to make sure they are open when you get there!

 

The Best Apple Picking in Sonoma County

EARTHseed Farm (formerly Gabriel Farm): If eating organic is important to your family, head to EARTHseed Farm located in Sebastopol, a town practically synonymous with the fruit. In addition to picking your own apples, you can schedule a tour of the certified organic orchard. Varieties include McIntosh, Gravenstein, Gala, Braeburn, Gilbert Golden Delicious, Fuji, and Rome. A $35 entrance fee covers your U-pick time slot for up to 4 people, and children under 3 are free. Since it gets pretty hot there, the farm has u-pick slots earlier in the day, and even installed cooling stations to make the visit even better. You can always head over to the store for juice, jams, and pears for sale.

3175 Sullivan Rd.
Sebastopol
Online: earthseedfarm.org

Related: Bay Area Spots for Epic Family Picnics

Apple-a-Day Ratzlaff Ranch: With a name like that, you know Ratzlaff Ranch is focused on apples! U-pick Rome Beauties and Golden Delicious are here for the picking. They are open daily from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. (except Thursdays and Saturdays when they are closed) and there is no parking fee. No reservations are needed and you can stay as long as you want. Pack a lunch and sit at one of the picnic tables taking in the beautiful ranch. While you are there, don’t forget to pick up some of their award-winning apple cider, best chilled or warm? You decide. U-Pick is typically September through early December, depending on the availability of ripe apples, but exact dates may vary.

13128 Occidental Rd.
Sebastopol
Online: appleadayranch.com

Chileno Valley Ranch: Chileno Valley Ranch starts its U-pick season on Sept. 3, available Sun. only from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. through Oct. Time slots are available every hour and admission is $10 per family if pre-booked online. Check the website and Facebook as spots fill up quickly. Apples are $2 per pound and you can expect to find varieties such as Orin, Pinova, Candy Crisp, and Jonagold. Beyond apple picking, you can also shop for free-range eggs, honey, and baked goods.

5105 Chileno Valley Rd.
Petaluma
Online: mikeandsallygalebeefranch.com

Related: Free (or Cheap) Things to Do with Kids in the Bay Area

 

Best Apple Picking in Watsonville

A little boy in a hat takes a bite out of an apple
Kate Loweth

Gizdich Ranch: The U-pick apple season at Gizdich starts mid-Sept. (check their website for exact dates) and lasts about a month. Their pie and deli shop offers a boxed picnic meal, so stop by for lunch and then take one of their out-of-this-world pies, apple dumplings, or puff pastries home (is your mouth watering yet?). On hot days, the kids can enjoy a homemade apple slush. They are open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily during picking season. Bring your own containers.

55 Peckham Rd.
Watsonville
Online: gizdich-ranch.com

Live Earth Farm: This spot in Watsonville grows a small variety of apples including Gala and Fuji. Their U-pick apples (as well as strawberries and tomatoes) are available on the weekends only, with schedules posted on their website. The picking is a bargain at $1.50 per pound. Bring buckets, boxes, or other containers to harvest into, or purchase containers from them for a small fee.

1275 Green Valley Rd.
Watsonville
Online: liveearthfarm.net

Related: Al Fresco Family Time: SF Eateries with Outdoor Seating

Clearview Orchards:  Located in the beautiful Santa Cruz Basin, Clearview Orchards offers a huge variety of certified organic apples, specializing in Gala, Fuji, Honey Crisp, and Mitsu. Pick some apples and enjoy their beautiful terraced grounds with a view of the Watsonville Valley. They also sell delicious local honey, and fresh-pressed apple cider, and the kiddos can even pick out their own pumpkins, just in time for fall. This year they will open Saturdays and Sundays starting Sept. 9, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Advanced reservations are required with a $7 entry fee for each vehicle. Leave the pets at home, and no food or drinks (aside from water bottles) are allowed, so eat before you arrive and save some room for that delicious apple cider!

646 Trabing Rd.
Watsonville
Online: clearvieworchards.com

Luz del Valle Ranch: Starting right after Labor Day, Galas are the first to be picked, followed by Fujis in October.  With two-hour time slots that families can book online, families can take their time picking apples on this beautiful farm. Pack a lunch and have a day at the farm. Luz del Valle is also a horse ranch, breeding beautiful Arabian horses that you’ll be able to see.

1875 Hames Rd
Aptos
Online: luzdelvalle.us

 

The Best Apple Picking: Apple Hill Region near Sacramento

best apple picking

photo: Erika Fletcher via Unsplash

Apple Hill Region: For a bit of a longer trek, you’ll get no better apple selection than in the Apple Hill Region, about fifty miles east of Sacramento. With more than 50 ranches offering different apple varieties and activities, you are bound to find the perfect experience for the kids. The Apple Hill Growers Association lists orchard details including U-pick hours, picnic areas, local attractions, and more. The U-pick ranches tend to be very small and very popular, so it is a good idea to call the ranches themselves to make sure they have the apple variety you want and that the fruit is available.

A full list of farms can be found via the Apple Hill Growers Association.

Best Apple Picking in the East Bay

Cloverfield Organic Farm: The USDA-certified organic farm in the East Bay has a wide variety of fruit, vegetables, herbs, and flowers. U-pick is open Friday-Sunday from 12-5 p.m., and no reservations are needed, making this a great impromptu weekend trip. Parking is free, and there is no entrance fee. While you’re there, you can book a private tour or guided horse activity that the kids will definitely love.

501 La Paloma Rd.
El Sobrante
Online: cloverfieldfarm.com

 

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Sleepovers can be scary for both kids and parents the first time. Our guide will help you get through the night

There comes a time when camping in the living room with Mom and Dad will no longer cut it. If that’s the case, your kids might be ready for their first sleepover. But, like any new milestone, you may worry if it’s the right time to send them to a slumber party. There are no hard and fast rules about the right age for sleepovers: some 6-year-olds might be ready to sleep away from home, and some 11-year-olds might not be. So parents need to assess each opportunity individually. Read on for six signs your kids may be ready for sleepovers or an epic slumber party and 10 things to say that’ll reassure them that everything will be A-OK once they get there.

1. They Know What to Expect

Your kid’s first sleepover is a fun rite of passage, but make sure she knows exactly what she’s getting into before she heads out the door. Go over specifics, like navigating the bedtime routine at someone else’s house, and answer all the questions, like whether or not she can still bring her favorite stuffed animal.

2. You’ve Tested It Out

If you’re not quite sure your child is ready for a full-fledged slumber party away from home, try it at your house first. This way, you can see if the kids tire of one another or begin to fight with one another. Also, you can opt to throw a “mock sleepover” with a movie, popcorn, and PJs, but call it quits just before bedtime. Then you’ll know you’ve worked your way up to the real deal, but everyone can go home and sleep in their beds!

Related: Why I’m Saying Yes To Sleepovers This Summer!

3. They’re OK without You

Have you ever had to spend the night away from your child? Perhaps they’ve had a babysitter walk them through brushing and bedtime or stayed with grandparents while you were out of town? If they are OK being away from you overnight, or at least until they fall asleep, they may be ready for their first sleepover.

4. You’ve Asked Questions

Perhaps your little one is thrilled about the pint-sized pajama game, but you’re still a little uneasy. There is nothing wrong with calling up the other parent and asking questions until you feel more comfortable. Everything from “What time will they go to bed?” to “Do you have pets?” are all fair game to calm your nerves. You’ll also want to address any concerns about how the parents handle situations like arguments or kids being scared at night. And don’t overlook the BIG question: are there guns in your house, and are they kept in a safe, secure place where the children (ANY children) will not have access to them? 

5. They’re Planning One

When your kids come home from school begging for a sleepover with their BFF, it’s a good indication that they’re ready to give it a go. On the flip side, if they seem cautious about the idea or worried about who will tuck them in, they may need more time to warm up to sleep away from home.

6. You’ve Talked to Your Kids About Inappropriate Touching

Part of feeling safe is being safe and making sure your children understand good etiquette at the host family’s house, but also what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior from the adults and older siblings. While we encourage our children to be polite and on their best behavior, it is equally important to speak frankly with children in a way that will empower them to say “no” and know when something just isn’t right.

tweens love sleepovers
iStock

Here are 10 statements you can make to help your little one feel secure at their first sleepover:

  • “You can call me to say goodnight before you go to bed.”
  • “I will pick you up first thing in the morning.”
  • “You can take a picture of us with you.”
  • “We are only a phone call away.”
  • “You will have so much fun with your friend and we’ll see you in the morning.”
  • “[Friend]’s parents will be there in case you need anything.”
  • “You can bring your pillow, blanket, and stuffed animal with you.”
  • “We’ll be home if you need us.”
  • “I’m so proud of you and I want you to have fun with [friend]!”
  • “I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get home.”

And if all does not go according to plan and you need to dash out to pick up your child early, a simple “maybe next time!” can help them to feel a little less embarrassed about feeling homesick. Happy slumbering!

 

There can never be too many corny jokes on hand

While we don’t recommend quitting your day job and taking these corny jokes on the road (do people still throw rotten tomatoes?), we do promise that if delivered with enough enthusiasm—or by an undeniably cute kid—these cheesy jokes will get some chuckles. And, when you’re done with these, be sure to share our favorite knock-knock jokes, summer jokes, funny dad jokes, and our ultimate list of jokes for kids that are always good for a laugh.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy.

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Theodore
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t open so I knocked.

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.

Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No silly, cows go MOO.

Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish.

Q: What has one head, one foot, and four legs?
A: A Bed

Q: What do you call an angry carrot? 
A: A steamed veggie.

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Little old lady
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel.

Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless.

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!

Q: What do call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Etch
Etch who?
Bless you!

Q: How do you make an egg roll?
A: You push it!

Q: What word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary?
A: Wrong.

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Mikey
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!

Q: Why were the fish’s grades bad?
A: They were below sea level.

Q: What do you call a sad berry?
A: A blueberry

Q: Why are cornfields bad places to tell secrets? 
A: They’re full of ears.

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? 
A: In case he got a hole in one.

Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless.

Are we there yet?! Whether you’re hitting the road or staying around the house, summer 2023 has arrived. Be sure to print out these summer jokes for kids and beach jokes at your next pool party or cookout; share them with your crew and laugh! If you need more giggles, check out our collection of knock-knock jokes, cheesy jokes, and the ultimate list of jokes for kids.

24 of the Best Summer Jokes for Kids

1. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

2. What kind of water cannot freeze?

Hot water.

3. What happens if you throw a red sun hat in the water?

It gets wet!

4. Why does ice cream always get invited to the party?

It’s cool.

5. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

6. What animal is always at a baseball game?

A bat

7. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?

I Scream.

8. And where do sharks go on vacation?

Finland!

9. Why did the robot go on vacation?

He needed to recharge his batteries.

10. What did the reporter say to the ice cream?

“What’s the scoop?”

11. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?

Times Square

12. Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool?

They kept dropping their trunks.

13. Where do ghosts like to boat on vacation?

Lake Eerie.

14. Why did the teacher jump into the pool?

He wanted to test the water!

15. Why are mountains the funniest place to vacation?

They are hill-arious.

16. What should a toddler wear to go swimming?

Pool-ups.

17. What did the kid say when the instructor told him he’d missed summer school? 

“No, sir. I didn’t miss it at all.”

18. What do frogs eat in the summer?

Hopsicles!

19. Why didn’t the sun go to college?

He already had a million degrees.

20. What do you call a cantaloupe in a kiddie pool?

A watermelon.

21. What has ears but can’t hear?

A cornfield.

22. How does a cucumber become a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

23. Why can’t basketball players ever go on vacation? 

They would get called for traveling!

24. What did the pig say on a hot summer day? 

I’m bacon!

19 of the Best Beach Jokes for Summer

kids laughing at beach jokes
iStock

1. What did the ocean say to the lifeguard?

Nothing, it just waved.

2. What part of the fish weighs the most? 

The scales.

3. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

4. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

It waves!

5. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

6. Where do sheep go on vacation?

The Baaa-hamas.

7. What do you call seagulls that live near the bay?

Bagels.

8. What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?

Long time, no sea.

9. What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A shell phone, of course.

10. What do you pay to spend a day on the beach?

Sand dollars.

11. Why did the detectives show up at the concert at the beach?

Something fishy was going on.

12. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

13. What’s the best kind of sandwich for the beach?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

14. Why don’t oysters like to share their pearls?

Because they are shellfish.

15. Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach?

It refused to peel.

16. Why do people swim at saltwater beaches? 

Because pepper beaches would make them sneeze.

17. What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear at the beach?

A Speedo

18. What’s the most common insect found at the beach? 

A beach buggy.

19.  What’s the best day of the week to go to the beach?

Sunday.

 

 

What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon

Ready for a mood elevator? These animal jokes for kids are the key to a good belly laugh, we guarantee it! Kids will love memorizing these jokes about dogs, cats, bees, bunnies, and even squirrels. Which one is your favorite? Need more giggles? Be sure to check out our silly spring jokes, dad jokes, and the ultimate list of jokes for kids.

1. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.

2. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!

3. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.

4. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

5. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis!

6. Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her!

7. What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.

8. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!

9. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

10. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.

11. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.

12. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon

13. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

14. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

15. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!

16. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

17. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.

18. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.

19. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.

Related: 25 Cheesy Jokes To Make Anyone Crack a Smile

dad and daughter with their dog, laughing at animal jokes
iStock

 

20. What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”

21. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!

22. What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh.

23. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.

24. What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs.

25. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom!

26. What kind of haircuts do bees get?
Buzzzzzcuts.

27. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.

28. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.

29. Why do porcupines always win the game?
They have the most points.

30. Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks!

31. What part of the fish weighs the most?
The scales.

32. What’s an owl’s favorite subject?
Owlgebra.

Animal Jokes Submitted by Kids

33. What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilanty!

—Joe L., age 10

34. What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator!

—Milo H-R, age 8

35. Where do fish keep their money?
In the River-Bank!

—Jaxon G., 7 y.o.

36. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
Owwwww-ch! (by Henrik, age 5)

37. What’s an owl’s second favorite subject?
Hoostery.

—Jokes 36 and 37 submitted by Baylee, age 9

Got a joke you’d like to add? Send it to kate.loweth@tinybeans.com and we’ll put it in the story!