For all the parents who have ever wondered, “should I have a third child?” this is for you

Triple your pleasure; triple your fun. When you have a third child, you’ll need a bigger car and a lot more snacks, and you’ll be rewarded with more love and wild adventures. Read on to find out what life is like when you add a third baby to the family.

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Pregnancy? What Pregnancy?
With your first, you have time to read baby books and take childbirth classes. Pregnancy with your second is a bit more hectic as you have to coordinate hospital tours and baby-registry shopping trips around nap time. But by the time you’re pregnant with baby 3, you’re lucky if you can even remember to take your prenatal vitamin each morning. Between taking care of two other children and driving around to all their activities, your third learns to go with the flow from the time they're in the womb.

Delivery Is Orchestrated with the Precision of a Space Shuttle Launch
For the delivery of your third baby, you will need to begin preparations weeks in advance to ensure your other two children are accounted for. Schedules, locations, contact numbers and contingency plans should be documented and emailed to your entire circle so your kids can be picked up, dropped off and cared for while number three is making its arrival.

Practical > Cute in the Clothing Department
With your first, you buy all the adorable baby outfits and don't worry about the number of buttons and snaps. Your second wears some hand-me-downs along with simple sleepers added to the rotation. By the time your third baby comes along, they're living in secondhand onesies and pajamas that provide easy diaper-changing access.

Someone Is Always Hungry or Thirsty
With three kids, you learn to always be prepared with snacks and drinks. Whether you're nursing an infant, peeling oranges for a toddler or fetching crackers for a preschooler, someone always needs something. Usually when you’re using the restroom or are on the phone because #momlife.

Nature Never Stops Calling
Have three children and maybe a pet, and you'll be constantly changing a diaper, taking someone to the potty or taking a fur baby out for a walk. No longer will anyone in the household be squeamish about pooptalking about it or cleaning it up.

Everyone Adjusts to the Chaos
With three young children, you become accustomed to a minimum threshold of background noise. You accept that it will always be there and learn to tune it out. Fortunately, so do the children. Just wait to be amazed at how quickly baby number three will fall asleep despite older siblings' shouts, laughs and musical toys.

It’s an Instant Party
With three kids, the party never ends. Scheduling playdates isn't as necessary because every single day is a playdate right at home. Bring three kids to a park or an event, and suddenly it’s a party. All the neighborhood kids come calling to play with one, two or all three of your children.

Cuddles Galore
With three, you will never want for love. Eager arms are always outstretched and waiting to hug you, and you will constantly find a child or three snuggling into your side. Someone always wants to play with you, giggle with you or be held by you. It’s as heartwarming as it sounds and does wonders for the ego.

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Maximum Return on Investment
With three kids, you ensure you get your money's worth on all the gear you've purchased. Clothes, strollers and toys all get passed down, eliminating the need to purchase much of anything for baby number three but diapers and new car seats when your current ones expire.

Built-in Teachers
With your first, you are the model for everything your child learns to do. You teach and instruct and celebrate each milestone. But once you have two and three children, older siblings step in to help teach their younger siblings. Potty training a third? Leave it to the older kids and watch them pass on your wisdom.

You No Longer Sweat the Small Stuff
Firstborn children tend to have every step carefully monitored for their safety. Second children get away with more as you're learning to divide your attention between two kids running in opposite directions. But by the time number three is born, you’ve realized kids are pretty resilient. Besides, you no longer have time to obsess over minor details. So all three children are given more latitude as you save your energy for what's truly important.

The Love Is Overwhelming
This is really what it’s all about. Triple the love. Three times the hugs. Your heart bursts every time you look at all of your children together. You realize they'll always have each other, and you can't imagine your life without them and their amazing bond.

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You’ve spent months researching what products you’ll need for a new baby, but what about you, mama? Bodily takes the guesswork out of managing childbirth recovery and your postpartum needs with smart, well-made products for new moms. Read on for functional and stylish solutions for all your birth recovery and breastfeeding needs.

What It Is

From comfortable bras and underwear to breastfeeding essentials to well-curated kits of post-childbirth must-haves, Bodily has your new-mom body covered. Bodily works with medical professionals and lactation consultants to choose effective postpartum products that help women as they recover from childbirth and pregnancy. Their extensive research has led to design-led products that support women during this life-changing time. 

Bodily bras are made for changing postpartum bodies. The nursing and pumping bras, like the Do Anything Bra (above), were designed with lactation consultants and mindful of research for optimal breast health to be both supportive and comfortable. Bodily’s bra collection has bras to wear from maternity to all stages of breastfeeding. Some of them even make awesome sleep bras!

Now let's talk panties. The All-in Panty (above) has a high waist for C-section mamas and is super soft, stretchy and supportive enough to change with your fluctuating body postpartum. And yes, Bodily also sells mesh undies that are a big step above hospital mesh panties.

For childbirth and the days following, the company sells a peri wash bottle, belly band, cozy socks and more. And for breastfeeding, you can get non-slip breast pads (low profile or full coverage), nipple balm, cooling gel pads, nipple shields, cute nursing tops and even a shirtdress. There's even a spicy turmeric latte, caffeine-free and loaded with antioxidants, that's available on its own as well as in the kits for when you need a decadent treat.

What's in the Kits

Each of the kits support different post-birth needs, so it's easy to find exactly the care you want.

Scheduled C-Section Birth Box ($145) includes a belly band and high-waisted underwear to support abdominal recovery, guidebooks on postpartum recovery, and childbirth recovery essentials: maxi pads, mesh undies and stool softener. It also contains breastfeeding items (breast pads, nipple shield and nipple balm), cozy socks and a packet of oatmeal.

Care for Birth Box ($105) includes grippy socks for the hospital and items for vaginal recovery, such as maxi pads, mesh undies and stool softener, a peri wash bottle and inflatable cushion to sit on. 

B-Kit ($90) is the ultimate breastfeeding starter kit, with a nursing bra, breast pads and nipple balm.

V-Kit ($95), for vaginal birth recovery, contains a sitz tub with tote bag, peri spray and sitz salts, maxi pads, undies, stool softener, and guidebooks for you and your partner or other supporter on postpartum recovery.

C-Kit ($90) is for C-section recoveries. It includes a belly band and high-waisted underwear to support abdominal recovery, guidebooks on postpartum recovery, and childbirth recovery essentials: maxi pads, mesh undies and stool softener.

Care for Miscarriage Box ($90) supports women with tools to memorialize the loss, nurture themselves, and process the experience. The kit contains two books, a superfood-rich beverage and remembrance bracelets.

Care for Stillbirth Box ($115) contains books, remembrance bracelets, and practical products to aid in the body's physical recovery after stillbirth. 

Why We Love It

We all see the Instagram photos of new moms smiling with perfect hair and makeup, but what did it take to get there? If you deliver in a hospital, you may be given some mesh undies and a squeeze bottle to take home, but nobody really spells out what postpartum physical changes and health issues to expect or how to deal with them (hello, bleeding and hemorrhoids). Bodily delivers all that and more.

In addition to postpartum essentials, the website has tons of research-led, evidence-based articles and timelines on what to expect from your fluctuating body and with breastfeeding. You get clear answers and products that actually work, so you can get back to what you want to be doing: caring for your baby. And for those who were pregnant but suffered a loss, the website now has a Pregnancy Loss Resource Hub, with research-backed information to support families in need.

Visit itsbodily.com to shop and learn more.

—Eva Ingvarson Cerise

photos: All images courtesy of Bodily.

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If you’ve attended a childbirth class or talked with a brand-new mom, there are plenty of things you’ve undoubtedly heard about—from pain-control options (hello, epidurals!) to that sweet moment you first hold your baby—but you might be surprised to learn there are details about giving birth no one seems to talk about. Keep reading as we shine a light on ten of those rarely discussed labor and delivery secrets.

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1. Anyone may deliver your baby.
Okay, not literally anyone…unless, of course, you have a side-of-the-highway baby. (Quick! Knock on wood.) But keep in mind that your OB or midwife may not be the person to deliver your baby. Because of how doctors and midwives schedule their shifts, it’s possible that someone you have never met may be on call on D-Day. Rest assured, you’re in good hands, and though it may seem hard to believe now, when you get to that stage of labor, you won’t care who delivers your baby.

2. Your birth plan may take a turn.
When you’re expecting your first baby or two, you may head to the hospital with a birth plan in hand, typed clearly and concisely in 12-point font detailing all of your wishes for the birth. But don’t be surprised if at some point in your labor, all of those “musts” seem to fade into oblivion and are replaced in bold font, all caps with GET THIS BABY OUT.

3. Total strangers seeing you totally naked will seem totally normal.
Unless your past includes time spent in a nudist colony or you have a special affinity for skinny-dipping, chances are the thought of being bare-butt naked in front of strangers probably makes your toes curl. But when the transition phase of labor hits, we can all but guarantee you’ll throw caution—and your hospital gown—to the wind. If the thought is discomfiting, take heart: Baby will be in a birthday suit, too, so at least you’ll be in good company.

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4. You have an alter ego.
When your labor amps up, you may find you have a hidden drama queen or foul-mouthed sailor living inside of you. You might make animal noises so impressive you would put a drama student in a performance of the Lion King to shame. (Yes, growling or even roaring like a ferocious animal happens in the delivery room.) Or, you might find that you suddenly have a new and expanded vocabulary not fit for tiny ears. (Don’t worry, baby is well-insulated in the birth canal.)

5. The nurses may ask if you want a mirror.
And, they aren’t wondering if you want to check your makeup. In the middle of the most dramatic, life-changing (not to mention painful) moment of your life, a nurse could ask if you would like a mirror to see baby crowning. Some women do; some women really don't. You do you.

6. Everyone poops.
Especially moms in labor. While you may feel nonplussed at the thought now, it’s actually a good thing! It means you’re using the right muscles to push that baby out into the world. In the moment, it won’t even register on your embarrassment radar, and your childbirth team have seen it all before.

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7. You go through delivery twice.
We’re not talking about twins! If you’ve ever sat through a childbirth video, you know it typically ends a few moments after baby enters the world. So what you don’t see (and your OB or midwife may never mention prior to delivery) is that you will have a baby-size, liver-like organ come out of you within an hour of your little one making his or her entrance into the world. But don’t worry, though mildly uncomfortable, the placenta-expelling process only lasts a minute or two. (Also, be prepared for the nurses to ask if you would like the save the nutrient-rich organ. Post-hospital placenta smoothie, anyone?)

8. You don’t leave the hospital wearing your own underwear.
We’ve all seen those photos of a celebrity walking out of the hospital after giving birth, holding a newborn baby and sporting perfectly coiffed hair and heels. (Kate Middleton, we’re looking at you!) It’s easy to forget that underneath that glam exterior is sure to be…mesh, boy-short-style underwear. Yep, it’s true. The reason? You will likely bleed for weeks after delivery. Mesh panties, giant maxi pads and postpartum cold packs, also known as “padsicles,” will become your new BFFs. And, while you may have heard about the possibility of going period-free for a while after giving birth, keep in mind you could get your period as soon as four weeks post-partum.

9. How quickly you may (or may not) forget.
People like to say that you quickly “forget all the pain” once baby arrives. For those who don’t experience that euphoric selective amnesia, the events surrounding your labor and delivery, particularly if complicated, may stay fresh in your mind for months or even years after. That clear recollection can trigger a sort of PTSD (not to be confused with postpartum depression) that includes emotional distress, flashbacks and even physical responses, like sweating, nausea or trembling. Apparently, birth is the one time a forgetful memory is a positive thing!

10. Everyone bonds differently.
The first moment you hold your baby may be forever etched in your memory. Or, it may be a blur. You may be instantly overcome with love for your baby, or it may take time to develop a connection with this new human being. There is no right or wrong way to experience motherhood. Every baby is different. Every mama is different. And how you experience each other for the first time through labor, delivery and those first moments of your new life together will be, too. 

—Suzanna Palmer

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Halsey’s long awaited addition is here! The singer announced the arrival of her first child with boyfriend Alev Aydin today on Instagram. Ender Ridley Aydin was born on July 14 and the duo shared two sweet black and white snapshots to welcome him.

Captioned, “Gratitude. For the most ‘rare’ and euphoric birth. Powered by love” the announcement followed Halsey’s recent album news, a concept album on “the joys and horrors of pregnancy and childbirth.” The cover image fittingly celebrates the beauty of pregnant and postpartum bodies.

A healthy baby is welcome news for the 26-year-old new mom, who’s publicly shared her struggle with endometriosis as well a miscarriage while touring. She announced the pregnancy in late January on Instagram and has documented her growing bump throughout the process.

Halsey’s boyfriend, Aydin, is a producer, director and screenwriter. He’s praised her as “the baddest woman on the planet” when the couple made their baby news public earlier this year. Congratulations to the happy family!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Featureflash Photo Agency via Shutterstock

 

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Many many years ago my husband and I signed up for a childbirth class for our first child. I knew nothing about having a baby (he did as he had two daughters from his first marriage) and I wanted to make sure I knew what to expect (insert laughing emoji as birth is totally, completely, and utterly different from what you expect!). I was intending to have a natural birth and have a boy.

That’s not what happened.

Before we finished the courses, I had had an emergency c-section and a girl—for more details you can read all about it here.

So were the classes worth it then? I have 5 good reasons that say yes.

Reason #1: The Friends You Will Make
Annabelle, Tanya, Lisa and I met 22 years ago at a childbirth class. So yes, the class is worth it because I got a group of friends that, 22 years later, I’m still in contact with. We have shared tears, laughter, weddings, divorces, moving houses, moving countries, loss and birth. 

But what if you’re just going to take a one-on-one class? Is it still worth it then? I still say yes.

Reason #2: Childbirth Educators Know How Amazing You Are and Our Job Is to Make You See That Too.
The moment you say that you are pregnant people want to share information with you. It almost feels like a competition to share the worst story so that you are “prepared,” for the “horror,” to come. A childbirth educator has heard all of the stories and can help you see the process of birth in a different, more positive way.

You don’t often hear the amazing stories, the tales of birth being a beautiful golden, euphoric moment and it really can be—the whole thing can be just wonderful. It doesn’t always hurt and it can be the most loving, connecting, and life-affirming time of your life. You can be so empowered and so powerful that your ferocious beauty is mouth-droppingly awesome for all who are lucky enough to see it.

Reason #3: However You Have Your Baby, a Little Preparation Goes a Long Way
I offer classes either as part of a course or a standalone session that covers one aspect such as a c-section. If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard “I’m planning a natural birth—I won’t need the induction class,” I would have a lot of pennies! Very few of us want a c-section or induction but they happen and it is worth it to be prepared for that eventuality.

Why?

Well for example, with an induction you are often confined to the bed for monitoring—how else will you know how to alleviate the sensations that you may feel and to get the baby to come a bit quicker? It’s not lay on the bed and wait, that’s for sure! But in a class, we show you how you can help your body, how to breathe, and hopefully, give you some idea of what to expect and prepare your partner.

Reason #4: Your Support Person May Not Know What to Do!
So some of the questions that I have been asked by partners in childbirth classes: How long will it take? How involved am I? Where can I get a coffee at the hospital? Should I trust her to tell me when she’s ready to head to the hospital? If her waters break in the car will they stain the seats?  When they say they can see the head—what does that mean? How will I know she’s in labor? What can I do once the baby is born? How can I keep her energy levels up? Does it matter if I’m not there all the time?

Partners have the same questions you do and a whole load that you don’t. While you are birthing your baby, they are watching and it can be pretty stressful for some people to look at someone they love going through the sensations of birth. Classes not only tell them what to expect but also give them tools to assist you as well as a better understanding of what exactly their role should be.

Reason #5: The Internet Can Be a Scary Place
The final reason to take a childbirth class is that there is a lot of information out there and not all of it is accurate or positive. It can be an overwhelming place so take your time and make sure that you are getting information that is relevant to you and your partner. Connecting with an individual trained in childbirth can really help you alleviate some of the stress that you may be feeling in the run-up to the big day. Diminishing that fear can help reduce your labor time.

You still may not get the birth that you planned for but hopefully, you will understand the process and with the aid of the education you receive in the class be able to make the best, most informed decision for you and your baby.

This post originally appeared on bahbabelle.net.

I'm certified as a doula, breastfeeding counselor and Lamaze childbirth educator.  I'm British, living in Bahrain in the Middle East for the last 14 years. I have three daughters and I just want to show them that it doesn't matter your age, dreams can be followed. 

Mother’s Day 2021 is right around the corner, and this year, instead of the flowers and mugs, what better way to celebrate the mother figure in your life than gifting something moms need at every stage—support. How can you do that? By making a donation in honor of mom to an organization that dedicates itself to helping women and mothers everywhere, but especially those living in diverse communities. From the Black Mamas Matter Alliance to Every Mother Counts, these groups are vital to making real change that will help all parents and kids get through life safely and healthy. We’ve highlighted our top charities to give to below, so keep reading, and get ready to be inspired!

Every Mother Counts

For many women, pregnancy and childbirth aren’t joyful experiences. There are many reasons for this including lack of quality health care and discrimination. Every Mother Counts is dedicated to ensuring that women have access to quality maternal care by investing in organizations that make quality, respectful and equitable care possible.

Learn more and donate here. 

 

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The National Birth Equity Collaborative

The National Birth Equity Collaborative focuses on creating solutions to issues in Black maternal and infant health. They do that through various efforts, including training and advocating for policy change. Their work helps to create the conditions for the assurance of optimal births for all people.

Learn more and donate here.

Mamatoto Village

Mamatoto Village aims to offer creative solutions to combat health disparities for moms and their babies. That could look like anything from creating a path to careers in maternal health to providing access to services so moms can make informed decisions. The core values of the village include advocacy, equity and being inclusive.

Learn more and donate here.

 

Black Mamas Matter Alliance

Black Mamas Matter Alliance champions rights, respect and resources for mothers. Their mission is to advocate for Black mothers. They push for research and policy changes when it comes to maternal health, rights and justice.

Learn more and donate here. 

 

Moms Rising

Moms Rising educates the public about issues facing women and mothers. They work by starting grassroots efforts to bring awareness to issues, amplifying the voices of millions of women and pursueing policy changes.

Learn more and donate here. 

 

Shades of Blue Project

Shades of Blue Project is dedicated to breaking cultural barriers in maternal health mental health. They are a presence for women before, during and after giving birth. They are committed to changing the way healthcare systems engage with patients.

Learn more and donate here.

Lotto Love

LottoLove aims to make moms feel good while helping women around the world. LottoLove is the first-ever scratch-off card with a social mission. For every scratch card purchased, the organization donates to charities they’ve partnered with. Those charities provide clean water and literacy tools, among other things, to people in over 60 countries.

Learn more and donate here.

 

The Finley Project

The Finley Project is very personal for the founder, Noelle Moore, who tragically lost her newborn daughter. The organization was started to help mothers after the heartbreaking loss of an infant. It supports mothers physically, mentally and spiritually—at no cost to them.

Learn more and donate here. 

The Homeless Prenatal Program

The Homeless Prenatal Program has the goal to break the cycle of childhood poverty. How do they do this? Most people are extra motivated to create a better way of life when they are pregnant. The program uses that motivation to help families discover their strengths and trust in their ability to change their lives. 

Learn more and donate here.

 

Commonsense Childbirth

Commonsense Childbirth is dedicated to better birthing experiences for women and families. They focus on safety and quality in their quest for equitable maternal care. They also never turn a mom away—regardless of ability to pay. 

Learn more and donate here.

—Camesha Gosha

 

Featured image: iStock

 

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It doesn’t take an expert to tell you that having a baby means losing some sleep, but exactly how long does it take until you can sleep like a baby again? Research reveals that the sleep deprivation of moms can last for years—yes, years plural—beyond those newborn days.

A study published in the journal Sleep found that while the peak of sleep deprivation occurred within the first three months after a new baby’s birth, sleep quality and quantity did not return to pre-baby levels until up to six years after birth. The study was conducted with 2,500 women and almost 2,200 men. It involved annual face-to-face interviews with participants in which they were asked to rank their sleep quality on a scale of 1 to 10, as well as report the number of hours they slept daily.

Not surprisingly, the study also found that moms reported losing more sleep than dads, especially during the first few months. Women reported losing an hour of sleep per night during the first three months after childbirth and 40 minutes on average for the first year. Dads, on the other hand, only reported losing an average of 13 minutes of sleep by the same three-month mark. Moms were still reporting an average loss of about 25 minutes from four to six years after birth.

And what about multiple kids? The study showed that having more than one child didn’t make the sleep loss worse, but after those first three months, sleep loss sleep patterns only recovered to the same quality and length that they were prior to the subsequent pregnancy.

We’re honestly amazed you’re even awake right now to read this.

What is a birth plan? It’s the foundation for the birth experience you want to have, with steps laid out to help you get there. Of course, labor and delivery don’t always go as expected. But having a plan you’ve shared it with your birthing team makes the unexpected much more manageable. Read on for four steps on writing a birth plan to help you get ready, and feel ready, for the big day.

A mom to be in a green dress embraces her pregnant belly as she wonders how to tell the gender of her baby
Camylla Battani via Unsplash

1. Do your research.
Before you start drafting your birth plan, figure out your options. Talk to your mom friends, read books, and try to visualize what your dream birth experience looks like to you. During this step, you'll want to consider things like:

  • who you'll want in the birthing room with you
  • your preferred style of birthing or position
  • how you'd like to manage pain
  • options for Cesarian birth
  • what you'd like to happen in case of an emergency

Each of these components is a very personal choices, and knowing all of your options is crucial to making the best choice for you.

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2. Make your birth plan clear and concise.
The last thing you'll want to do while you're in labor is have to explain yourself. That's the main reason you've created a birth plan. As with any good plan, it needs to cater the person reading it. Your doctor or midwife, partner and labor and delivery nurses should not have to guess what you mean. Make sure they can quickly and easily understand your vision and what you want at different times throughout your entire experience. Keep your plan to one page and use these topics as a birth guide template:

  • requests before birth
  • requests during labor and delivery
  • vaginal vs. C-section birth preferences
  • requests for newborn care

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3. Share and discuss your plan by your 34th week.
Discuss your plan with your partner and doctor or midwife by your 34th week of pregnancy. This step allows you to confirm that what you'd like to happen is doable and that your team is all on the same page. Print out at least four copies: one for your doctor or midwife, one that stays with your partner, one for the birthing center and one for your hospital bag.

Sharon McCutcheon via Unsplash

4. Be flexible.
No matter how much you've planned and written about what you'd like to happen during labor and delivery, things might not go as expected. In some ways, the flexibility you'll need to embrace during this time is the best preparation for parenthood. Check in with yourself and your breath and be compassionate to yourself during childbirth. We love this mom's story and declaration that a failed birth plan does not make you a failed mom.

—Aimee Della Bitta

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Before becoming a mom, I was simply an observer of moms. Mostly in a passive kind of way, not giving much critical thought to what it actually meant.

I am a daughter of a mom that made it look easy. And she was a daughter of a mom that made it look even easier. I traveled as a passenger with my mom in the “mom lane” for most of my life. Knowing how lucky I was to have her while also, as daughter’s do, pushing back against pretty much anything I could at times. Because she was my mom.

I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to experience the world through my own eyes. My mom encouraged that and loved me through it all—good times and bad. Even when my choices for how I experienced the world were different than those she would have liked, she was there. She listened, she cheered me on, and she reminded me that better days would come when all I could see were dark clouds. And little by little I became me, not just my mom’s daughter.

My path through life has always been full throttle. I had plans and goals and places I wanted to go to. Becoming a mom, for me, was something I always thought about in the future tense—even as I entered my 30s and the timeframe for becoming a mom was closing in. I couldn’t imagine not being a mom, but that feeling of urgency was never something I experienced.

Then I got breast cancer and any thoughts of becoming a mom were sidelined (at best) or (at worst) possibly taken out of the game.

But then it happened. Eli entered the world. And suddenly after 40 years of being just an observer of moms, I became one myself. Then a short while later, Leo made our little family complete. I was no longer a passenger in the mom lane, I was the driver.

I’m a mom.

Becoming a mom for me was overwhelming, to say the least. In ways I never expected. Suddenly, simply by virtue of having a child exit your body, you have something in common with everyone in the world that has experienced childbirth. People, that otherwise, you have zero in common with.

And the advice about sleeping regimens and developmental timeframes for when your baby should rollover started feeling like the loudest voices I’d ever heard. Unlike any other time in my life, I struggled to filter it out and carve my path through it all.

It’s taken me years to find my stride. And, if I’m honest, finding it has been nothing short of an uphill battle for me. Prior to being a mom, I always felt confident about my choices and centered about who I was. But something about having full responsibility for keeping another human alive combined with the never-ending input from the world about how to do that uncovered an insecurity in me that I never knew was there.

But somewhere between feeling bad about putting them to bed without an undershirt on and realizing that it’s ok to have cupcakes for dinner, I found my stride. I started to gain confidence in my own way of doing things. I started to accept that my version on mom-ing is far different than the vision I previously held and it’s for sure different than the world’s view that stifled me in the early days.

I realized that being a mom, in my way, is about moving through life with these little humans and making sense of it all. It’s about knowing that, for this short window in their life, no one knows them better than me or loves them more than I do. And because I have been loved by a mom who was also loved by a mom in exactly that way, I know they will be just fine.

You see, I’m not just a mom. I’m their mom. And that’s the only type of mom I need to be.

This post originally appeared on Leighhurst.com.

Leigh Hurst is a mom of two boys, a breast cancer survivor and the founder of the Feel Your Boobies Foundation. She is also the author of the forthcoming book, Say Something Big: Feel Your Boobies, Find Your Voice. Stories About Little Lumps Inspiring Big Changes [Oct. 2020].

As a new mom, you may feel like you don’t have time to read a book, but self-care is important and a good book is a great way to get some me-time and feel like yourself again. These three books change the parenting game for new moms, with answers to all your new-mom questions, genius self-care strategies, plus support and laughs along the way.

Self-Care for Moms by Sara Robinson, MA

Simon & Schuster

Yes, you can (and should!) be making time to take care of yourself as a new mom. This book shows you exactly how with ways to find fulfillment even when you're super short on time. If you can carve out just 3-5 minutes in your day, there are nearly 30 suggestions for how to make them meaningful to you! There are also ideas for how to fill larger chunks of time, from 15 minutes to a few hours to even a day (or more) to yourself, as well as techniques to help you find this time for yourself in your busy routine. Written by a mental skills coach trained in helping people change the way they think to create positive behavioral changes, this book truly can change your life, one self-care step at a time.

Available at amazon.com, $10.69.

The Little Book of Support for New Moms by Beccy Hands & Alexis Stickland

Countryman Press

Specifically written for new moms, this is a survival guide to help you adjust to the "fourth trimester" (the 12 weeks after your child is born) and your new life, both physically and emotionally. Written by a doula and a midwife, it shares tools and advice on healing your body post-childbirth, adjusting to your exciting but challenging new role as a mom, maintaining your relationship with your partner, and retaining your identity amid all your new duties. From questions you were too embarrassed to ask to advice you didn't know you needed, it contains short and sweet tips on everything you're dealing with, in an easy-to-find format. Perhaps most importantly, these valuable tips can build your confidence and give you the tools and perspective to more fully enjoy all aspects of your life post-baby.

Available at wwnorton.com, $17.95.

Mom Babble: The Messy Truth About Motherhood by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Abingdon Press

If you aren't familiar with Mom Babble or Christian mom blogger Mary Katherine (MK) Backstrom, check out her Facebook page, which includes the super funny viral video that got her on The Ellen Degeneres Show. Her new book features 40 hopeful and hilarious essays about motherhood and family. As MK herself says, “My hope for this book is that it can serve as a collection of winks and nods, from one mother to another. That my honest, messy stories of motherhood might encourage your spirit, the same way so many of you have inspired and encouraged mine over the years. I hope that when you hear my voice in these stories, you hear the voice of a friend who is waving at you from within the pages."

Available at amazon.com, $17.49.

featured photo: Oleg Sergeichik via Unsplash

—Eva Ingvarson Cerise

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