LOL: 27 Silly Jokes for Seattle Kids

by Allison SutcliffeMarch 6, 2023

Tickle your tot’s funny bone with silly jokes Seattle kids (and parents) will totally get

Need a little levity in your life? These Seattle jokes for kids are a great way to kick your day off in the right direction. Scroll down for silly jokes, corny jokes, and quite a few rain jokes. Share them with your little ones to get the laughs rolling!

1. Can a kid jump higher than the Space Needle?

Of course! Because the Space Needle can’t jump.

2. What did the Giant Octopus under the Tacoma Narrows Bridge eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

3. What do you call monkeys who live in Seattle?

Amazon Prime-ates.

4. What do you call three orcas in Elliott Bay?

A tripod.

5. Why is Santa thinking about moving to Seattle?

Because of all the rain, dear.

6. What do you call a week without rain in Seattle?

Summer.

7. What did the geoduck say to the clam?

Can you dig it?

8. How do you make a SeaFair pirate angry?

Take away the “p.”

9. Heard any good jokes about the Cascades?

Yes, they are hill areas.

10. Why can’t Mt. Rainier and Mt. Baker play hide and seek?

Because they like to peak.

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A post shared by Roger Anton (@blckfrstbkr)

11. What did the kids say when the ferry finally pulled into the dock?

It’s a boat time.

12. What do Seattle kids have to watch out for?

Pier pressure.

13. In what state does the Columbia River flow?

Liquid.

14. What did Coach Carroll say to Russell Wilson when he dropped some change?

Hey, I want my quarter back.

15. What is the sea otter’s favorite Adele song?

Hello, from the Otter Side

16. What did the detective say when she got to Pike Street Market?

Something's fishy here.

17. What did the gum say to the gum wall?

I’m stuck on you.

18. Why is Seattle like L.A.?

You can seastars here, too.

19. What language do the I-90 and 520 bridges speak?

Span-ish.

20. Why does Mount St. Helens play so many video games?

Because it’s not very active.

21. Why did the leprechaun want to move to Washington?

Because it’s the evergreen state.

22. Where’s a leprechaun’s favorite place to jog?

Green Lake.

23. Why is Kyle Seager like a spider?

He catches flies.

24. What did Bugs Bunny say when the ferry pulled in at Fauntleroy?

What's up dock?

25. Ouch! I banged my head on 99…

…Mom said I would’ve been okay if viaduct.*

(*we miss you, 99 viaduct!)

26. How do aliens get vaccinated?

With a Space Needle. (Orion, age 10)

27. When do you need an umbrella for hiking?

When you're climbing Mt. Rain-ier. (Orion, age 10)

All the Disgusting Candy Cane Flavors You Can Buy This Year

by Karly WoodNovember 30, 2020

The holidays are all about enjoying plenty of seasonal treats, but not everything comes packed with sugar. If you’re into the more savory side of life, you’ll love Archie McPhee’s collection of weird candy canes.

With ten flavors to choose from, you can enjoy the salty seasonings of unique offerings that include ham, ketchup, clam and pizza. Oh, but there’s more! Keep scrolling to see them all.

Kale

Ketchup

Mac & Cheese

Mushroom

Bacon

Pickle

Clam

Pizza

Ham

Pho

You can shop the entire collection at Archie McPhee, where each box is $6.50 and comes with six candy canes each.

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of Archie McPhee

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These Mermaid Yoga Skeletons are a Magical Must-Have for Your Halloween Decor

by Shahrzad WarkentinOctober 10, 2019

Sad you missed out on Trader Joe’s yoga skeleton plants? Amazon has your back. Now you can take your zen Halloween decor under the sea with these frightfully calming mermaid yoga skeletons.

This trio of betwitching dead mermaids are the perfect addition to your mantel and will cozy right up to those lotus posing skeletons you nabbed from Michael’s.

Each peacefully posing skeletal mermaid measures about eight inches tall and features a different yoga pose including Namaste, Siddhasana and Vrksasana. They all have intricately detailed plum-colored tails, turquoise clam shell tops and long flowing hair.

You can score all three sirens in a set for $39.95 on Amazon or you can purchase them individually starting at $11.95.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Amazon

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Super Sour Scandinavian Swimmers Are about to Become Your New Trader Joe’s Candy Obsession

by Erica LoopSeptember 13, 2019

Trader Joe’s is upping the candy ante with its new Super Sour Scandinavian Swimmers.

Fans of the original Swimmers know this TJ’s fave as a yummy, gummy alternative to the iconic little red fish that you’ve pretty much adored since birth—or at least the preschool years. Now the TJ’s treat is getting an upgrade with tart and tangy flavors.

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A post shared by Trader Joe's (@traderjoes)

The new Super Sour Swimmers are similar to Sour Patch Kids, but with a different look. Instead of the teeny tiny little people shapes, these are sea creatures.

Made with cane sugar, tapioca, spirulina, annatto and other natural fruit and veggie sources, the Super Sour version of the Swimmers come in red berry (starfish), huckleberry (dolphin), orange (tang fish), and strawberry (clam shell) flavors.

You can find 14-ounce bags of these tangy goodies in TJ’s stores now for $2.99.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Trader Joe’s via Instagram

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6 Things from Drew Barrymore’s Home Line for Walmart We Are Loving Right Now

by Erica LoopApril 6, 2019

Say hello to Drew Barrymore’s home collection for Walmart! The actress and mom recently released her Drew Barrymore Flower Home line and yes, it’s everything you’re imagining—and being Walmart, at prices that won’t break the bank, either.

Just like Barrymore, her new home goods collection is free-spirited, fun and absolutely fab. Available exclusively at Walmart stores and online at Walmart.com, Jet.com and Hayneedle.com, the line features furniture and decor items. With new collections launching seasonally, you can score an almost-endless stream of these perfectly pretty products. Barrymore said in a press release, “My new collection of furniture and home décor is inspired by this passion and I hope it inspires everyone to make themselves at home.”

Here’s a look at six of our faves from Barrymore’s new line you can score right now.

Vintage Floral Decorative Throw Pillow

Celebrate spring with this fab floral print pillow ($39).

Vintage Palm Decorative Vase

Go retro with this vintage-inspired design. The accent piece sells for $24 at Walmart and online at Walmart.com.

Tufted Chaise Lounge

As one of the pricier items in Barrymore's line this chaise will run you $799. But if you're ready for a remodel, this lounge-worthy pick is an absolute must-have.

Vintage Marble Dinnerware Set

The 16-piece dinnerware set, in "Palm Springs Pink," is perfect for those summer meals al fresco. The set ($60) includes four dinner plates, salad plates, bowls and small bowls.

Batik Star Shower Curtain

Create an eclectic vibe and clam your showering space with this batik design. The colorful curtain is currently in pre-order status for $25, with an Apr. 15 ship date.

Green Glass Pendant Light

Add a touch of class, and glass, to your living space with this pendant lamp ($62).

—Erica Loop

All photos: Courtesy of Walmart

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Just Opened: Maroni Hot Pots Delivers Italian Just Like Nonna’s

by Lambeth HochwaldFebruary 8, 2016

When it comes to getting a meal on the table for a hungry family in New York City, takeout (or, let’s be honest) delivery, can be a godsend. Likewise, cooking up a pasta and red sauce dinner for the kids is a quick, cheap and easy dinner solution. But it’s hard to imagine why one would order in an Italian staple like spaghetti and meatballs. Here’s why: It’s way better than your Ragu and Ronzoni and you even get to keep the cute pot it comes in. Mangia!

photo: Paul Wagtouvicz/Maroni Hot Pots

A Long Island Tradition Comes to the Upper East Side
The Maroni Family has been serving up classic and delicious Italian fare like Pop’s Pizza Bread and Spaghetti and White Clam Sauce at Maroni Cuisine outside of Northport, Long Island since 2001. (Their sauce is so popular that you can pick up a jar at most Fairway locations.)

Now, the clan is serving the Upper East Side and beyond at the first Maroni satellite operation.

photo: Paul Wagtouvicz/Maroni Hot Pots

If You Dine In
This E. 77th Street spot is about as family-friendly as you can imagine. Arriving with a stroller? No problem. It can be quickly parked in the takeout area, and the music playing (usually The Beatles, a favorite of co-owner Michael Maroni) is just loud enough to drown out any fussing or ‘outside’ voices.

Open Tuesday through Sunday from noon to nine, there are ample opportunities to tuck into a pan of Chicken Milanese or Chicken Parmesan but, frankly, the hearty, gooey Gagootz (Zucchini) Parmesan is what we’ll come back to savor next time we’re in the neighborhood. Then again, we’d also advise diners to save room for the cannolis—from the cookie itself to the chocolate-chip studded filling, it’s the real thing.

However, with just 14 seats, Maroni Hot Pots is small, which gives you the perfect excuse to order one of its tasty and cute red enamel pots right to your door. (The restaurant proudly proclaims: “Our pot is legal.”)

photo: Paul Wagtouvicz/Maroni Hot Pots

Red Hot Hot Pot
Live on the Upper East Side? You’re in the zone for delivery! (Specifically: Free delivery is offered between E. 66th and E. 86th, and Fifth Ave. and the East River; delivery to the West Side for a fee may be added soon.)

Ordering is simple: choose your pot size (small, medium or large) and how many of Grandma Maroni’s Meatballs you want — you can also order just the meatballs if you like. Prices range from $30 for the small, to $65 for a large; the Maroni’s say that not only do you get to keep the handsome enamel pots, the cookware does keep the food hotter than the typical plastic takeout ware.

If classic spaghetti isn’t your family’s thing, you can choose from many other dishes crafted using the Maroni’s 100-year-old recipes, such as penne ala vodka, fresh ricotta ravioli, or cacio e pepper, or a variety of pan dishes such as the Chicken Milanese and Parmesan and others.

Maroni Hot Pots
307 East 77th St/ (at 2nd Ave.)
Upper East Side
212-535-2866
Online: maronihotpots.com

Have you tried Maroni Hot Pots? Let us know in the comments below!

—Lambeth Hochwald

Soup’s On: 7 Super Spots for Soup This Fall

by Jenifer CastilloOctober 13, 2015

Football season is here (go Hawks!), the chill of autumn is in the air and those chunky sweaters and Hunter boots have once again taken center stage in our closets—fall is in full swing in Seattle. And what better way to experience autumn, than with a hearty bowl of soup. Click through the gallery and get ready to satisfy your soup cravings at one of our favorite belly-warming spots.

Pike Place Chowder

Arguably one of the best tourist (and local) spots in Post Ally, Pike Place Chowder packs a taste punch. Boasting a variety of chowders from the staple New England Clam to the award-winning Seafood Bisque, the Pike Place location has eight different palate pleasing chowders to choose from. If seafood chowder doesn’t quite float your boat, try the vegan or Southwestern Chicken and Corn Chowder (choose this if you like it spicy). These free of fish alternatives are perfect for any picky eaters in your group.

Bonus: To make your experience authentic, opt to have your chowder served in a fresh-from-the-oven sourdough bread bowl. Having a hard time making a choice? Go for the Sampler, where you get to choose four different chowders served in perfectly sized 5-oz cups. Psst! Don't be intimidated by the sometimes lengthy lines spilling out the door, the payoff is worth the wait.

Good to Know: Tables are often packed and hard to score; and you are not allowed to save tables - you must wait until you have your food to snag one up. However, customers are aware of the long-standing table arrangement and vacate quickly once their chowder has been chowed-down. If you want to skip the tourist-y vibe, head to their second location in Pacific Place. Here, you will experience a wider menu selection that includes a mouthwatering po-boy sandwich and the always delicious fish tacos. You will also find a warm (inside) atmosphere and wallet-pleasing happy hour; complete with premium brews and chowder fries (seriously, a must try!).

Post Alley
1530 Post Alley
Seattle, Wa 98101
206-267-2537
Hours: Daily, 11 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Pacific Place Location
600 Pine St., 4th Floor
Seattle, Wa 98101
206-838-5680
Hours: Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.-7 p.m.

Online: pikeplacechowder.com

photo: Chris Y. via Yelp

Where is your family’s favorite spot for soup? Spill in the Comments below!

— Jenifer Castillo

The 15 Photos You MUST Take Of Your Baby

by Kelly AiglonAugust 29, 2014

Since your little one entered your life, you’ve become a bona fide paparazzi. Those chubby cheeks, that button nose — who can blame you? Check out this list of must-snap pics that capture baby’s everyday life in the most precious (and hilarious) ways. Then take your own and light up your Facebook feed.

1. Taking their first selfie.

2. Putting foot in mouth. #babiesarecontortionists

photo: Jim Champion via Flickr

3. Making their first stink face.

4. Jumbled group shot! (Good try.)

5. Getting down to business.

photo: Tzuhsun Hsu via Flickr

6. Cozying up with the incredible shrinking plushie.

7. Sitting next to (or even inside!) the most ginormous pumpkin ever.

photo: Abigail Batchelder via Flickr

8. Stealing toys at a play date.

9. Meeting the family dog.

photo: Jason Vasquez via Flickr

10. Sleeping sweetly with a sibling.

photo: Tzuhsun Hsu via Flickr

11. Licking ice cream or a popsicle for the first time (looks so good but the cold hurts so bad!).

12. Swinging in the baby swing at the park, happy as a clam.

13. Wearing oversized sunglasses like a rock star.

14. Twin photo opp! Sporting Thing 1 and Thing 2 onesies.

15. First “mug shot.” (Arrested for having a diaper blowout at the bank.)

Do you have ideas for fun photos to take of your baby? Share your photo with us and email editor@tinybeans.go-vip.net, or tell us about it in the Comments!

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Compiled by Ayren Jackson-Cannady, Erin Feher, Meghan Rose, Leah Singer, Ruby Germain, Katrina Burrows, Francie Kaplan, Mandy Hale, Jacqui Boland, Erin Lem & Kelly Aiglon

Slow Cooker Skinny Clam Chowder

by Erin LemNovember 2, 2013

Soothe the winter chill with a piping hot bowl of clam chowder. Usually laden with heavy cream, this alternative recipe dubbed skinny clam chowder by our friend Mireya at Myhealthyeatinghabits.com, is a healthier version of the classic. Plus, you’ll use your slow cooker, which means you’ll be able to enjoy your day while the soup cooks.

Ingredients:
2 pounds potatoes, washed, peeled and cut into 1/3- inch cubes—no larger
1 cup celery, cubed to 1/3 inch
1-¼ cup onion, finely chopped
1-½ teaspoon minced garlic
2 slices bacon, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
¼ cup all-purpose flour
1 bay leaf
1/3 teaspoon thyme
¾ to 1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 cups fat-free ½&½, or low-fat ½&½
½ cup non-fat milk, or water
1 8-ounce bottle clam juice
3 6-½ ounce cans chopped clams

Method:
1. Strain the juice from the canned clams into a large pot, and reserve the clams for later.
Add the clam juice, the ½ & ½, the chopped potatoes, and bring to a simmer. Once this comes to a simmer, pour the ingredients into the slowcooker. Set the cooker on high for 4 hours.

2. Cook the bacon in a skillet until it is just crispy, but not burned. Strain and discard the bacon fat, and then set the bacon aside for later.

3. Add the olive oil to the pan along with the celery and onion. Sauté for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the onion is shiny and transparent. Add the garlic and sauté 2 more minutes. Next, add ¼ cup flour, cook with the vegetables for 2 minutes, stirring constantly, and then add the vegetables to the slowcooker, along with the bay leaf, thyme, and salt. (Add the salt little by little. Maybe just ½ teaspoon is enough for your tastebuds. You can always add salt, but you can never remove it.)

4. Stir once an hour and add the bacon and the clams in the last ½ hour of cooking.

For more delicious crock pot recipes click HERE

Let us know in the comment section below about your slow cooker skinny clam chowder. How did it taste?

photo and recipe courtesy of My Healthy Eating Habits. Click here for more awesome recipes.

Order Up: Where to Get Fish n’ Chips in Portland

by Katie KavullaJanuary 4, 2013

Whether you’re looking for a seafood restaurant that has delicious fish n’ chips on its menu, a fish n’ chips food cart, or some gluten-free fish n’ chips, we’ve got you covered! Check out some fish n’ chips hot spots around Portland to enjoy with your family this summer or any time of year.

The Fish Wife
There isn’t much not to love about The Fish Wife – it’s charming with its red diner-style chairs, the wait staff is extremely friendly and accommodating and the food is delicious! Mom and dad, you can choose the way you have your fish n’ chips – lightly breaded and fried, grilled, poached or blackened. Plus, they have waffle fries!
Clam rating: $5 for the kids’ basket and $8-15 for the adult portion
Swim on in: 5328 North Lombard Street

The Frying Scotsman
If you’re looking for authentic British-style fish n’ chips, then The Frying Scotsman should be on your radar. The menu isn’t extensive, but it doesn’t have to be! This food cart serves up large portions of fish, lightly breaded with a handful of thick cut fried potatoes that are delicious with or without the condiments.
Clam rating: $6.25-$7.50 depending on what fish you prefer
Swim on in: SW 9th and Alder

Corbett Fish House
Families who are looking for a healthier version of this traditionally greasy meal will love coming to Corbett’s – they are famous for their gluten-free fish n’ chips that are cooked in 100% rice bran oil! Corbett’s is super family-friendly and we love them for their healthy kids’ sides such as unsweetened applesauce, peas and corn, carrot sticks and more.
Clam rating: $5.25 for the kids’ fish n’ chips and $9-20 for adult meals
Swim on in: 5901 Southwest Corbett Avenue

Captain Rick’s Wild Seafood
Food carts are all the rage in dining right now and fish n’ chips have jumped on board too! Captain Rick’s Wild Seafood is a Portland favorite for fish n’ chips – the menu is simple, but delicious. Plus, every now and again they offer an all-you-can-eat-fish night for just $7! PS – they also have corndogs and tatertots if you have a little one that’s not interested in fish.
Clam rating: Most menu items are $6 (cash only!)
Swim on in: On the corner of Southwest Third and Ash Streets — look for the huge wooden fish!

The Fish & Chip Shop
While the allure here is their mouth-watering fish n’ chips, there’s plenty for kids to eat too: hot dogs n’ chips, chicken strips n’ chips, corn dog n chips, to name a few. Fashioned in the traditional British style of fish n’ chips, you can even order scraps along with your fish free of charge. Open for lunch and dinner, check out their extensive menu which boasts everything from steaks to soups and salads.
Clam rating: $4.50 for kids meal, $12.00 for adult meal
Swim on in: 1218 N. Killingsworth Street

Halibut’s
When you get to Halibut’s it will be hard to remember that you’re there for fish n’ chips – the menu is extensive with lots of yummy options and sides like sweet potato fries (they go great with salmon fish n’ chips!). If you’re picky about how your fish is battered, give Halibut’s a try – theirs is known to be the best around. Tip for ordering – the half order is perfect for two little ones to share!
Clam rating: $9-20, depending on the fish you choose
Swim on in: 2525 Northeast Alberta Street

Jake’s Famous Crawfish
If you’d like to enjoy your fish n’ chips in a sit-down, full-service restaurant, but with your family, Jake’s is a great choice. You truly get the freshest fish possible at Jake’s – so fresh that the menu changes daily based on what is available at market (fish n’ chips is always a menu staple!). Jake’s is actually part of the larger McCormick & Schmick’s family of seafood restaurants, which are known to be family-friendly, but amazingly delicious! By the way, their dessert menu is incredible too – save room!
Clam rating: $15 for an adult fish n’ chips meal
Swim on in: 401 Southwest 12th Avenue with Southwest Stark as the cross-street

Does your family have a favorite spot in Portland when you’re craving fish n’ chips? Share with us in the comments below!

— Katie Kavulla

photo courtesy of Jeremy Keith via flickr

ML Interest Tag: clam

LOL: 27 Silly Jokes for Seattle Kids

Tickle your tot’s funny bone with silly jokes Seattle kids (and parents) will totally get

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