No need to get wet: being just near a blue space is great for your health

If you needed an excuse to hit the coast year then you’ll be happy to learn that going to the beach changes your brain, according to science. Actually, being near any body of water (think: lake, river or the sea) brings many health benefits for your mind and body in what scientists call “blue space.”

In fact, a new study from the Journal of Environmental Psychology reveals that exposure to blue space as a child has a major impact on a person’s mental health and will encourage them to maintain a healthy relationship with nature into adulthood.

“Building familiarity with and confidence in and around blue spaces in childhood may stimulate a joy of, and greater propensity to spend recreational time in, nature in adulthood, with positive consequences for adult subjective well-being,” says the study.

Related: 30 Things You Can Do at the Beach (Besides Build a Sandcastle)

Devon Daniel/Unsplash

The study involved 18 countries and examined the relationship between adult well being and a person’s exposure to blue space as a child. Respondents shared their experiences with blue space during childhood, including how frequently they visited it and how comfortable their parents were allowing them to be in and near water. In a nutshell: the more blue space exposure as a child equalled a better adult well being.

“Adults also had familiarity with and confidence around coasts, rivers, and lakes, as well as higher levels of joy around bodies of water and a greater propensity to spend recreational time in nature during adulthood, says WebMD. “In turn, this lifted their mood and wellbeing.”

The impact that bodies of water have on our well-being are numerous: reduced depression, increased levels of creativity, and the ability to naturally de-stress are just a few. Now you know why spending time soaking up the waves and summer sun makes you feel so amazing!

Here’s how it works. Scientists say that being near water and listening to the waves can bring you to a more meditative state and lead to reduced depression. The undulating waves are relaxing, acting as a de-stimulator and can help bring more mental clarity as well.

While your mind is in a relaxed state, you are more likely to be more creative as your brain rests. The blue state helps take you away from the everyday stressors of life and you are free to let your imagination roam. The Global Healing Center recommends literally surrounding yourself with the color blue to bring about a sense of calm and inspire creativity.

Related: 9 Ways You Can Support Your Child’s Mental Health Right Now

Andie Huber
Tinybeans

Scientists also say that a swim in the ocean can de-stress you, stat. Not only can the water feel refreshing, but the naturally occurring negative ions are also said to help counteract the positive ions we come into contact with on a day to day basis, leaving us in a more peaceful and relaxed state.

Just stepping foot onto the sandy shores of the beach does a body good. Researchers say that the simple act of touching sun-warmed sand brings almost immediate comfort––unless you’re not a sand person.

Finally, standing in front of a huge body of water can give you a fresh perspective on life. That sense of awe you feel being next to something so huge in life can really minimize the things you stress on from day to day.

The next time you’re feeling dragged down by life, why not hit up your closest beach? Indulge in the blue space––your mind and body will thank you.

 

Showing yourself some self-love can go a long way in strengthening your mental and emotional health and peace of mind. Here are six ways to practice self-love daily:

1. Realize That Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Say it with me: self-care is not selfish. It is you taking care of your basic needs and rights as a human being. It is about doing the little things that bring you joy and promote peace within you. None of us can pour from an empty cup.

2. Forgive Yourself for past Mistakes
Sometimes we carry the weight of our past decisions and actions into our present. While thinking about the past is important to give us clarity and perspective, it’s important not to beat ourselves up. Today is always a chance to do better and to learn from mistakes, not to dwell in regret. Be kind to yourself.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Any Emotion 
Every day we will feel many different emotions. It’s ok to not feel ok, as they say. Allow your negative emotions to pass over and through you without guilt and the need to be “happy” all the time. Realize that feeling any and all of your emotions is a normal part of being human.

4. Limit News & Social Media
While it’s certainly important to know what’s happening in the world, there is such a thing as too much information. We are inundated daily by news reports and everyone else’s opinion about all of it. Try to limit your intake to a reasonable amount per day and maybe even consider taking one day per week to detox completely from media.

5. Declutter Your Space 
Sometimes we let clutter take over without even realizing it. Many times physical clutter can represent mental clutter. When we take the time to declutter our space, it contributes to mental decluttering and a more relaxed atmosphere.

6. Get Out in Nature
Humans are not meant to be cooped up all day. Do yourself a favor and get outside for fresh air even if it means just standing on your front porch. Fresh air, sunshine, and greenery go a long way in perking up your mood!

 

 

This post originally appeared on The Haute Mommy Handbook.

Jen Kathrina-Anne is a blogger, freelance writer, and graphic designer. When she’s not writing or designing, she enjoys spending time outdoors in the California Bay Area where she resides with her husband and two fearless daughters. Find her at www.hautemommyhandbook.com.

 

You’re beaming. Your daughter crushed it at her gymnastics meet. Or maybe your son aced that U.S. states quiz. Our instinct as parents is to shower our children with praise in their moments of success. We want to boost them up because, geez, there’s plenty that can bring them down in the day. And we want them to feel pride in their hard work. We want them to continue working hard. Plus, your child deserves to be celebrated.

But do they… completely?

We Americans value independence. We glorify the individual who shapes his or her own identity and destiny through choice, ability, and effort.

Yet, I don’t know any kid who hasn’t benefitted from the support (both emotional and financial) of you, their parent. Teachers and coaches deserve Empire-State-building-sized trophies this year, as far as I’m concerned. And there are countless others who propel our children to their fullest potential. How about the pediatrician who ingrained in your son the importance of a healthy diet so he had the mental clarity to remember where exactly Missouri is? Or your daughter’s friend who helped her perfect that backbend? Or perhaps even Mary Lou Retton, who inspired her?

This is not to say that your kid doesn’t deserve props. We, as parents, should be our kids’ loudest and most obnoxious fans. Our children need that in our hyper-competitive, goal-driven society.

But there’s another angle from which we can frame success that isn’t centered on your child’s magnificence.

That angle? Gratitude.

Being grateful is realizing that the goodness in your life has come to you, not only because you earned it, but because of other people.

Study after study over the past decade shows that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.

Not only that, but when we acknowledge that success always comes on the shoulders of others, we don’t diminish our child’s worth. Rather we foster a sense of connection in our child. Since other people and things contribute to our good fortune, reminding your child who helped them achieve their win will connect them to others, nature and even something larger than themselves.

Why is this connection important? 

A sense of connectedness is the number one resilience-building factor for youth. According to the American Psychological Association, “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family.”

This means we should try and use every opportunity we have to promote connectedness. Our society tells us it’s all about you, the individual. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. But that’s not the reality of life. So much of our good fortune comes to us, not because we deserve it, but because of forces outside ourselves.

So let’s appreciate that—let’s be grateful—and teach our kids to as well.

It’s okay to say “Your teacher worked so hard to teach you the states, and you worked so hard to memorize them!” Or “You put so much effort into prepping for your gymnastics meet! Your little brother got schlepped to a gazillion practices for you!”

Tell your child how awesome they are after they crush it. And then ask them who helped them get there, or encourage them to think about the circumstances that allowed them to succeed. You’ll double the win.

RELATED:
How to Teach Children Gratitude
Finding Gratitude Isn’t Easy
18 Tips for Raising Grateful Kids

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.
Feature Image: Lisa Wall via Unsplash

After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.

Are you one of those people who makes a New Year’s resolution, stays at it for a couple weeks and fall off the bandwagon? Every day of the year could be a day to start a new routine, kick a bad habit or to start something you’ve always wanted. Despite these facts,  the start of a New Year is a recurring date that reminds us we can make new goals and with the right help, we can follow through. 

Here are some of my tips to help you get started off in the right direction in 2019. The clarity gained by hitting “reset” can have transformative effects to our minds, our health and our families.

De-clutter.

Clutter has a way of making us feel overwhelmed. So many people I know have a tendency to accumulate things. Is there really a point on hanging on to your child’s entire newborn wardrobe? 

Pick a couple items that are really near to you and hang on to them. We tend to place tremendous value on things and fret letting go of them. The relief accompanied by purging things is clarifying. Here are some suggestions of what you can toss:

  • Ttoys not used in a really long time? Toss ’em—donate to second-hand store or try to reclaim some money by consigning them. 
  • Food in your cupboards contributing to making you feel meh? Toss ’em±unopened dry goods can go to your local food bank. 
  • Do you spend most days thinking, “I wish I looked great, but instead I feel meh? Donate your clothes and if you’re environmentally-conscious like me, thrift for new ones! You’ll save money and you won’t feel so bad getting light wear out of them and re-donating them for a fresh st‌yle.  
  • If you’re holding on to lots of family heirlooms or memories, consider taking pictures of these items, filing them and donating the rest of the stuff. Letting go of some of the old things in our lives helps make way for the new.

Schedule a meeting—a very important meeting—with your partner.

Talk about what’s most important to you as a family. Set a family “mission statement” to discuss the most important feature of your family. Is it eating clean? Is it more quality time with family? Is it personal growth? 

Define what your unique mission is and then work to achieve it. Is the piano lesson that your daughter dreads going to giving her life and meaning? Is it helping you achieve your mission statement? If the answer to these questions is no, then pull her out of it and explore something that gives meaning to the mission. 

Don’t do things just because you think you ought to.

Read something that helps “reset” your mindset.

The self-help aisle at the book store might be something you’ve avoided for a while, yet there’s nothing like reading a book from start to finish to help reframe your perspective. 

I think many would agree with me when I say the effect of reading a book is much more beneficial for self-improvement than just skimming random articles on the internet. (Check out goodreads.com for personalized suggestions about what books are up your alley.)

Incorporate small, daily affirmations or meditation.

As a parent, I’m (fairly) certain you’ve heard of The Little Engine Who Could: “I think I can, I think I can.” As a parent, you can either repeat the same words (without relating too much to a train) or you can be more specific. 

Mantras are often really effective when we push out our negative self-talk with an affirmation. For example, sometimes I doubt myself as a parent, I’m too rigid, I’m not fun enough, my kids can’t just be kids and while sometimes realizations can help prompt change, sometimes these thoughts invade our space and prevent us from being the best we can be. 

To counteract some of my “bad-parent” negative self-talk, I repeat to myself, “I’m an amazing parent,” “I am doing all that I can,” “My kids are so lucky to have me and my care for them.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

To be effective, set aside at least 10 minutes a day to sit quietly and boost yourself up with positive affirmations.

It’s time to set your New Year on fire and make this the best year yet with clarity, vision and purpose. 

 

This post originally appeared on MomsCandidConversations.

Hi, I'm Deanna. Mom and step-parent and I'm dedicated to positively contributing to the parenting community! 

It’s been four years since my son Stalen was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. He was 21 months old. I remember he was wild in the room as we waited for the doctor to come in and speak with us. He was throwing toys and picking crumbs from the carpet. He was pulling single plastic gloves from a box hanging on the wall. I was trying to hold myself together with strict composure but could feel the lump in my throat and the anxiety deep in the pit of my stomach.

The doctor calmly told me that Stalen was being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. I didn’t hear anything else even though I kept looking at the doctor and nodding and he kept talking. After a minute or two, he asked me if I had any questions. I smiled weakly and said no.

I had to sign a confirmation of diagnosis form which is forwarded on for services. My hand trembled as I wrote my name. I was so shook I didn’t even date the form like your supposed to. I took Stalen and high tailed it out of there.

I couldn’t wait for the solace of my vehicle. I remember the strong smell of a man’s cologne in the elevator. I was close to breaking. I remember fumbling through my purse for change for the parking pay Center. Ugh! Why do I always carry so much unnecessary crap in my purse?!?!

Finally, in the car, I grabbed my sunglasses even though it was a cloudy day in January. I wanted to conceal the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. I looked in my rear-view mirror and there he was…my sweet baby. My whole world, in his own world. He was smiling, and staring off out the window. Oblivious to it all.

I took three exhilarating deep breaths. I felt them in my toes. Those minutes in that doctor’s office had completely drained me to my core, I was attempting to refill my tank.

I had known for a couple of months without a doubt that he was autistic. But I had also known forever that he was amazing.

At that moment, things were different but really the same.

I was still me and he was always him.

There was no more wondering, it was confirmed. We were going to get the supports and services we so desperately needed. He was my little boy to love and nurture and teach things to. I knew he would do it all, but he would just do it in a different way-his way, in a different time and space.

I didn’t know much about autism.

I didn’t know what the future would look like.

I didn’t have all the answers but hoped for clarity over time.

I was completely certain of only one thing though. On that day, I knew my son just like I had known him from the very moment he took his first breath into the world.

I knew he needed me and I knew I needed him and that was enough for me to start the car and take us home.

This post originally appeared on Stalen’s Way Blog.

I am a proud wife, ASD Mom, Step-Mom. At 21 months, my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. He is 5 years old and non-verbal. I have become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I am 1000% focused on raising autism awareness and helping my son live a full and fun life. 

I will never forget the day when my family went for a sail around the waters of Sandy Hook, NJ and we got caught in an unexpected storm.  Growing up, my parents were fortunate to have a small sailboat to take us out on little day adventures. 

On this particular day, while we were out, the wind really picked up, creating whitecaps on the water. The weather was too risky to attempt our trip home, so my parents decided to duck into a nearby cove and drop the anchor to ride out the storm. I was a super nervous sailor, so getting stuck in this surprise storm was not ideal for me. But I remember feeling safe and secure once the anchor was nestled deep into the muddy floor of the cove. Once I noticed my parents settled and calm, that was my cue to feel like I could breathe. Even though the wind was whipping around outside, I knew we would be safe because the anchor would hold strong.

An anchor is powerful, heavy, and unbreakable. Blowing wind and crashing waves may push a boat around, but the anchor is strong and unwavering, serving as a reliable source of strength for a sailor. It is what grounds the vessel, allowing it to bob in the water without drifting away. And even in certain weather, when a sailor needs to add more slack on the line to allow more leeway, the anchor’s hold maintains the sailor’s position. The anchor is quite dependable.

In life, we are constantly met and challenged with situations out of our control, especially in our role as parents! When challenges arise in your parenting, what keeps you anchored through the storm? What is connecting your family’s boat to what truly matters? Being anchored to your core values is what will help you feel confident through any patch of rough weather.

Values are the key beliefs that guide your decision making. They define how you chose to live and how you create happiness in your life. When you have clarity on what your values are, the decisions you make around discipline and family time just make sense and feel good. Having clear family values allows you to live authentically, feeling grounded and true to yourself as opposed to feeling lost and misguided. 

When your anchor of family values is set firmly on the ocean floor, it allows your family some movement without getting lost. You will feel secure as you brave the ever-changing winds of raising children. When managing the rough waters of outside influences, your anchor will hold you safe and in place. And even during those moments when you have to give more slack to the line, allowing your children some space to grow, the anchor is still there doing its job.  When your family values are clear, practiced and in place, your house rules and expectations will be more consistent, allowing your children to feel safe and secure with your parenting. Having a solid hold on your family values will even allow you to feel more comfortable with other external viewpoints without compromising yourself and who you truly are.  

Of course, there are times the anchor slips and loses its grip on the earth. The sailor’s awareness of the drifting boat allows her to recast the anchor to set it again. It is not uncommon for any of us to lose our hold sometimes, but it’s the clarity that allows us to reestablish our footing. While we’re navigating through the current storms of raising our children in 2020, allow yourself some time to check-in and be sure you are anchored in your family values. 

Here are a few questions to consider:

  1. What are the basic beliefs that help you decide what is important in life?  What are your family values?

  2. Do you and your partner value the same things?  

  3. Which values would you like to pass on to your children and what steps can you take to encourage them?

  4. How do you honor the values in your life?

  5. How can you realign yourself to be sure you are living true to your beliefs?

A boat without an anchor is forced to keep moving no matter what comes its way. The sailor does her best to navigate through the waters, trying to find a path that will keep her out of harm’s way. The same is true for a family unaligned with its core values. When your values are unclear or not practiced, it can be difficult to be consistent with decision making, disciplining, and just finding an overall direction. Stop drifting through your days. Drop the anchor and become solidified in your family values.

 

This post originally appeared on Real Life Parent Coaching Blog.

Hi! I'm Rebecca from Real Life Parent Coaching. I use my background as an educator to help parents discover & cultivate their strengths and reach their parenting potential. I live in New Jersey with my husband and two kids. I enjoy exploring, being creative & having fun with my crew!

When choosing a name, parents hope to find one that conveys something positive. In order to discover the trendiest lucky baby names of 2020, Compare.bet examined Nameberry’s Top Baby Names of 2020. The list was narrowed down to reveal which ones are bringing parents-to-be hope, luck and good fortune. 

baby

According to the research, the most popular lucky girls name is Iris which means “rainbow” in Greek. Asher which means “happy” in Hebrew tops the charts for lucky boy names. Of those surveyed, 94% of those using lucky names think that this will help their child later in life. Of the parents who don’t favor lucky names, 38% would avoid them because they are too mainstream.

The Top 20 Most Popular Lucky Girls Names and Their Meanings:

  1. Iris – Derived from the Greek word Iris, meaning rainbow
  2. Evangeline – Has Greek origin, meaning ‘bearer of good news’
  3. Beatrice – ‘She who brings happiness; blessed’ in Latin
  4. Jade – A precious green stone transmitting wisdom, clarity, justice and courage
  5. Kiara – ‘Bright’ or ‘light’ in Italian and ‘God’s precious gift’ in Hindi
  6. Felicity – Derived from Latin word Felicitas, meaning ‘luck, good fortune’
  7. Winfred – ‘Friend of Peace’
  8. Clover – A traditional symbol of good luck and prosperity, particularly when found with four leaves
  9. Octavia – Derives from Latin Octavus, meaning 8 – which is a lucky number in many cultures and represents infinity
  10. Amber – derived from the Arabic, Ambar, which means jewel

The Top 20 Most Popular Lucky Boys Names and Their Meanings:

  1. Asher – Strong religious connotations such as happiness and joy, or blessings in abundance
  2. Felix – Derives from Latin, meaning happy or lucky
  3. Quinn – Irish Gaelic origin, meaning sense and intelligence
  4. Chance – Often found in Middle English to mean good fortune
  5. Bennett – Stems from Latin and means blessed
  6. Edmund – Meaning prosperity and riches
  7. Benedict – Derives from the Late Latin name Benedictus, meaning blessed
  8. Fisher – Meaning ‘fisherman’, linked with superstitions
  9. Seven – Has English origin meaning inner wisdom
  10. Arley – Rooted in American and Hebrew meaning promise

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

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What’s it like to be a parent? PBS science series NOVA just  premiered a new digital series, Parentalogic, focused on the science behind parenting. The series launched in partnership with PBS Digital Studios and has its own YouTube channel.

Parentalogic is here to help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting from tantrums to fevers to sleepless nights. Co-hosted by Dr. Alok Patel, pediatrician and on-camera medical news expert, and Bethany Van Delft, comedian and mother of two, the episodes address common parenting conundrums with humor and honesty. Packed with useful health and science research, the series is a great resource for science fans and expecting and current parents everywhere.

“Having kids can bring so much joy, but it can also—at moments—cause panic,” says Julia Cort, NOVA Co-Executive Producer. “Together with PBS Digital Studios, we’re delighted to provide parents with some much-needed relief and support. Parentalogic is the perfect opportunity to do what we do best— bring evidence-based clarity to otherwise mystifying challenges.”

The first episode breaks down the science behind tantrums. Dr. Alok Patel discusses the ways children develop control over their emotions, and our best understanding of the brain processes that culminate in what we see as meltdowns. Bethany Van Delft approaches the topic from the perspective of a parent who has experienced firsthand the mayhem of a tantrum. We gain insight into what is going on in a child’s mind when tantrums occur, and get expert advice on how best to handle them.

“We’re very excited to partner with NOVA on this digital series. Parents are juggling more than ever right now, including an infinite amount of information and misinformation available online,” says Brandon Arolfo, Head of PBS Digital Studios. “With Dr. Patel and Bethany Van Delft as trustworthy guides, Parentalogic is timely programming that explores the art and science of modern-day parenting through a very informative, relatable, and entertaining lens

Other episodes in the series will be posted bi-weekly to the Parentalogic YouTube channel. They will aim to tackle the complex and often taboo questions parents are confronted with. How do you decide between breastfeeding, formula, or a combination of both? Where do allergies come from, and does exposure to allergens make a child more or less likely to develop allergies later? Why do fevers happen? How do you know if a child’s bathroom habits are okay?

Parentalogic is proof we can deliver high-quality information about a serious topic in an engaging and lighthearted fashion. I’m thrilled to be working with Bethany, an all-star, Renaissance mom who can dance circles around me when it comes to raising children. This juxtaposition comes across on camera and it’s hilarious,” said Dr. Alok Patel, Parentalogic Co-Host. “This show is a blend of intricate medical physiology, practical knowledge, and humor. It doesn’t feel like a lecture, it feels more like a conversation you could have with someone at a bar—assuming you were talking about poop, sleep training, and vaccines, of course.” 

“Growing up, I was a big fan of NOVA, especially how easily they explained complex science and how they were consistently trustworthy,” said Bethany Van Delft, Parentalogic Co-Host. “I hope Parentalogic helps lessen the chaos and uncertainty of the Internet from parenting by providing science, and clear, evidence-based answers. I also hope it offers parents confidence, a little relief, and some laughs, and sets an example for a respectful relationship between a doctor and a parent.”

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: NOVA

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As a parent, grandparent and educator, I am fascinated by the interactions of parents and their children. When I travel to New York for work several times a month, I have lots of opportunities for fieldwork as I make my way from Manhattan to Brooklyn. There are families with young children everywhere! 

While venturing out for a long walk this past Saturday morning with my husband, Mark, I witnessed a father and his young son negotiating how the child would walk across the street. Actually, negotiating is the wrong word, because the parent was very clear that there was only one way to get to the other side… holding hands.

As those of you who have struggled with the independent child who is not a hand holder know, a situation like this—where a child’s safety is at stake—can be especially challenging,

Pedestrian accidents are a leading cause of death and trauma in young children and it is a matter that parents and caregivers should be informed and clear about.

Children should be taught from a very early age about street safety.  Modeling actions and saying the words out loud, “Stop, look (left, right and left again) and listen” should be part of every stroll when young children are out walking. As well as learning to recognize a cross-walk or as it is known in some places, a zebra crossing (kids love that!) And no one’s going to like this part: holding hands is an absolute imperative. 

Children are impulsive and even those children who run ahead and seem to always stop when they get to the corner, cannot be trusted to not dash out for a ball or shiny coin or some other distraction. Children under the age of 7 do not have the cognitive, perceptual or behavioral skills to be trusted not to act quickly and impulsively in certain situations. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children up to the age of 10 are not developmentally capable of judging the distance and speed of cars.

An Academy study showed that parent’s expectations of their child’s ability to assess street safety were not in line with their developmental ability and in most cases, parents overestimated their child’s ability to correctly judge safety situations.

Everything about parenting is a balancing act. Reinforcing your child’s independence while keeping them safe and healthy is just another example of the daily challenges all parents face. But, just like the use of a car seat or seat belt, pedestrian safety should not be negotiable.  

I will add that in addition to modeling good street safe behavior, including not walking and texting or looking at your phone, you can have a conversation with your child about how to be safe before venturing out. That’s what good nursery school teachers do before every outing, whether it’s moving from the classroom to the gym, or venturing out to the neighborhood park.   

When parents at our school were surveyed about the pluses and minuses of using the local city park for our outdoor play, many parents cited going to the nearby park as a positive because in addition to being a great park for fresh air and physical activity, their children through their daily walks to the park had become better at street safety; holding hands and knowing what to do at each street crossing.

The father that I witnessed while strolling through Brooklyn, reminded his whining and resistant child, in a kind but firm voice, that the rule was that you hold hands when crossing the street. No discussion. The child didn’t like it, complained loudly, but got to the other side of an extremely busy street safely.

I restrained myself from approaching this father and congratulating him on his clarity and success. But what I witnessed reminded me of the importance of this issue. Safe travels!

This post originally appeared on www.littlefolksbigquestions.com.

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.

Photo: Rawpixel

One would be hard-pressed to go anywhere at this time of year and not see Santa Claus represented. Depending on the age of your child, you will confront the inevitable queries from them or ponder for yourself the question, “Is it okay to teach children to believe in Santa?” 

“Barring religious or other beliefs that might preclude the telling of the Santa myth, I am firmly in the let’s believe camp.

I love Santa, and to me, he represents magic and hope and generosity. I remember when my own children were quite young, the seeds of doubt about making my kids’ believers, crept in a little bit as the holidays approached. I asked my oldest and dearest friend, a respected pediatrician, for her thoughts on the subject. 

Her unhesitating declaration was that of course she would teach her daughter Isabelle to believe in Santa. She stated without missing a beat that she wanted Isabelle to believe that dreams can come true. Her clarity and message of hope felt right then and still does.

Young children have a tremendous capacity to pretend. Using their imagination is a way to interact with the world, to try it on and get comfortable with it. When my two-year-old granddaughter puts on her pretend goggles to pretend swim in the bathtub each night, when she stirs empty bowls and pretends to feed her stuffed animals, and when she picks up a paper towel roll and starts singing her little heart out pretending it is a microphone, she has entered the world of make-believe. This use of her imagination allows her to exercise her creativity and her problem-solving skills—all while having fun.

While introducing the idea that there is a special guy in a red suit traveling around the world in a sled pulled by reindeer delivering presents is technically “a lie,” it is also another way to engage with children in the imaginary, magical world that they already reside in. Children’s literature is filled with bears, bunnies, monkeys and animals of all sorts that talk, wear clothes and sleep in fully furnished houses, (one of my personal favorites is the one about the duck that types) and most children are read these stories with no disclaimers.

Of course, there are pitfalls to teaching your child to believe in Santa. Besides the challenge of the inevitable day of reckoning when children begin to age out of the story, there is also the stress it can cause some children if there is too much emphasis on being good.

As a nursery school teacher, I witnessed children who became quite anxious as the adults around them sang songs about this all-seeing, all-knowing Santa person and his more modern helper, the Elf on the Shelf. The anxiety that some children feel when taught that they are being watched over at all times by Santa, a hidden elf or whatever, is only exaggerated when they fear they might be receiving only sticks or lumps of coal instead of toys.

I remember one child in particular who had an unusually sunny disposition who became quite agitated, crying daily as the holiday excitement ramped up around him. He frequently mentioned that he was afraid of getting ashes in his stocking because he sometimes forgot the rules. After checking in with his parents—who immediately backed off the “you better watch out routine” and reassured him that he was a good boy and that Santa would bring him a present-he quickly relaxed and returned to his happy-go-lucky self.

I have a distinct memory of explaining to my mother when I was in the third grade that I knew Santa wasn’t real, but that I wanted to believe in him anyway. I wasn’t ready to give up on the vision of a magical jolly gift-giver bringing joy to children everywhere.

She happily went along with this approach and continued to sign her holiday presents to me with a “Love from Santa” card, for the rest of her life.

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.