For those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, April is a happy month of beginnings: the start of springtime and the restarting of the zodiac cycle, which begins with Aries. For those with an April birthday, longer days and the renewal of seasons have imbued April babies with bubbly personalities and positive outlooks. Here are some other fun facts (like what’s April’s birthstone) and traits of people born in April, the fourth of the year.
They’re born in the middle of the pack
April babies are usually neither the youngest nor the oldest students in their class, neatly fitting in the middle of the school calendar. A study from the University of Exeter found that first-time moms were more likely to attempt to plan their delivery dates for the spring.
Aries are natural-born leaders
If you know someone born under the sign of Aries, (March 21 – April 19) you’ll know that thanks to their ambitious and tenacious natures, people born in April tend to be leaders. They can be innately stubborn and bossy—a potent combination (when used right) that can lead to people born in April to achieving their goals.
April’s birthstone is one the rarest of all—the diamond
When worn, the diamond is thought to increase the wearer’s inner strength. One of the hardest materials on the planet, April’s birthstone is also the symbol of eternal love and is one of the most popular gems to give as a gift. In the middle ages, the diamond was thought to have healing powers.
Your BFF is probably born in April
Passionate and caring, those born in under the sign of Taurus (April 20 – May 20) are steadfast, making loyal and generous friends. But be forewarned: April babies can be chatterboxes who love attention and can sometimes want to hog the spotlight.
People born in April can be emotional
Aries babies are known to be passionate, fiery, and impatient, which means they tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. The good news is, this makes them wonderful friends because they bring all that passion to every relationship in life.
April babies are fearless risk-takers
Aries is the most fearless sign of them all. This means there’s a good chance your baby born in April will be enthusiastic about everything they do and be unafraid of taking risks. That’s great news if you’re a parent who doesn’t like to stay still because April babies are feisty and possess seemingly boundless energy.
People born in April are hard workers and love routine
Those who are born under the sign of Taurus tend to be hard workers—they’re not afraid to roll up their sleeves and get the job done, already. They’re also a huge fan of consistency, so don’t be surprised if your April baby thrives on a routine (aka, don’t EVER skip the nap).
They share their birthday month with these celebrities born in April
Plenty of famous people have April birthdays, including Michael Fassbender, Pedro Pascal, Robert Downey Jr., Natasha Lyonne, Pharrell Williams, Elle Fanning, Samira Wiley, Chance the Rapper, Jennifer Garner, and Tim Curry. Notable (fictional) characters born in April include animated smart-aleck Bart Simpson (born April 1, 1979) and heavyweight boxer Rocky Balboa (born April 6, 1946).
Don’t ditch the idea of Valentine’s Day lingerie until you see our seriously comfortable picks
For a lot of us, even thinking about Valentine’s Day lingerie makes us cringe. Itchy lace, boning and underwires, contraptions that require teamwork to get into, and we’re not about to start on wedgies (we’re being real here). Sure, it can look pretty, but it’s 2024 and we refuse to wear anything that doesn’t feel as good as it looks, especially when it comes to undies. We’re fully unavailable for adjusting and sucking in from now on, even on February 14th. It’s the dawn of a new era. The era of comfortable lingerie.
These are the Valentine’s Day lingerie pieces that you’ll actually want to wear all year. We know that’s a bold claim, but we’re backing it up with this list. Bralettes with soft mesh, stretchy bodysuits that can even be worn out and about, and, most importantly, pieces you’ll feel so good in. Because that’s the ultimate in hotness—feeling confident. Weather you’re looking for something to wear with your partner or just for yourself, we’ve got the Valentine’s Day lingerie you won’t want to take off. Well…maybe.
CoreSculpt Lace Trim Bralette & Lace Cheeky Panty Set
Shapellx
This is such a pretty set! With features like wire-free bralette support, smoothing fabric, and a high waist, you can stun and feel completely comfortable.
A little boho, a little romantic, a lot alluring (hence the name, we suppose). Coasbella's Allure Sleep Romper feels amazing on and includes a sexy strappy back detail and eyelash lace. It also comes in 5 colors (so you may want more than one...).
Negative underwear and lingerie is a no frills, no fluff, minimalist and confidence-inducing that's made to make you feel good in your own skin (because you're hot. You are.). This bodysuit can be worn as-is, with jeans, a skirt—it's that comfortable. And dang, it looks good. Also available in white and lilac.
Soma's Cool Nights collection is a bestseller for a reason: the always-cool-on-the-skin fabric is so soft, light, and doesn't stick to your skin (no matter what time of year it is). The Lace Chemise has light support and adjustable straps, plus an elastic back design for a really comfortable fit. Available in Black and Paint the Town Red.
The scallop lace detail of the Mariana Bralette makes this so special, while the wide straps and lined cups make it a practical choice for daily wear. Available in Ice Blue and white.
Show. Stopper. These drool-worthy boxer-briefs are made from super soft stretch lace that you could easily sleep in or throw on under a skirt or dress. Paired with the Bouquet Lace Scooped Balconette Bra (sold separately), it's an unstoppable look that we can't get over.
Mesh typically sounds and feels stiff and itchy, but Harper Wilde refused to accept that. So they came up with mesh undies and bras that are so soft, you won't believe the flirty mesh effect they still offer. Sheer, soft, and great for Valentine's Day and beyond, the Luxe Mesh Scoop Bralette comes in 4 colors.
The Barely Zero set from NEIWAI is made from their CloutFit fabric that's a soft, barely-there breathable and moisture-wicking material that means you can wear it all day (or all night).
If there's anything more quintessentially flirty than a man's-style button-down, we don't know what it is. Wear it alone, over one of the lingerie sets, or with leggings or jeans. It's available in a bunch of colors, too. It's effortless and impactful. Trust us.
The name says it all: comfort is a huge priority for mooods, and they've managed to make this set sexy and super wearable. It's supportive with a wire-free bra and medium-rise panty, and it comes in a bunch of colors if this Grape color isn't your style!
Romantic vibes are guaranteed with this floaty midi slip. The billowy silhouette could actually be layered over a slip dress or bodysuit for an edgy-meets-feminine outfit, but for V-Day, it's totally up to you. Available in 4 colors.
A lot of us really prefer full coverage bras, but they can look a little boring. This unlined underwire option is the perfect compromise. It's available in 5 colors.
While these are sold separately, we highly recommend the set. This one is a stunner. It's available in a bunch of fresh and retro color combinations that we're swooning. The soft cup bra detail and full-back panty creates a bold set you'll feel so good in.
The smooth, lightweight contour pads of this bestelling bra from NATORI keeps it soft and supportive at the same time, plus it's made with recycled lace and comes in a bunch of colors. It even works well under your lower-cut tops and dresses.
Flowy and flattering, these sexy mesh lace-trim lounge pants are ideal for 'dressing up' (wink) or actual lounging over a pair of boy shorts or bike shorts. Pair it with the matching bralette, or add the matching bodysuit for a totally different look.
Savage X Fenty Romantic Corded Lace Unlined Balconette Bra
Savage X Fenty
Reviewers are ga-ga for this balconette bra from Savage X Fenty. The lace wings are lined with power mesh for a cleavage-enhancing, ultra-sexy, and easily wearable bra that comes in 3 colors. Check out the matching panty, too.
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.
When I was in middle school, the popularity board of directors chose me as their new target. They created an online poll and sent it around to everyone in our school. The poll was titled, “Who’s Uglier: Lilly Holland or Sarah Johnson’s Leg Hair?”
Poor Sarah Johnson, who was endlessly mocked because she wasn’t allowed to shave her legs. As I sobbed into my mom’s lap, she stroked my hair and assured me that the girls who created that poll were mean girls, and mean girls are not people you want to be friends with, now or ever. Of course, she ended up being right. One of the girls continued being malicious right through college. I’m sure to this day she’s still a mean girl.
Mean girls aren’t born; they’re created. They’re empowered by other kids and their parents, often inadvertently. As a teacher, I watched this happen in my classroom every year. There was always a mean girl. The girl who put others down to make herself feel better because she lacked confidence and control in her life. She had her band of loyal followers and would gain power every time she did something unkind. Every year there was a different version of the same girl. And every year, the old adage would ring true: the apple never falls far from the tree.
Nine times out of ten, the mean girl had a mean-girl mom. The mean-girl mom disguised it better than her second-grade daughter, but it was still obvious from her interactions with others. The power structure doesn’t really change from elementary school, it just becomes more complex.
Today at our library, I saw exactly how mean girls are made. My daughter, who is 18 months old, was enamored by the two five-year-olds that were playing with LEGO bricks. The two girls and their mothers were the only other people in the library. My daughter inched closer and closer until she was within reach of the girls. Not yet able to really communicate, she gave her own kind of greeting. Beaming, she reached out to give one of the girls a pat on the arm.
The girl pushed my daughter’s hand away, stomped over to her mom, and loudly complained right in front of me, “There’s a baby over there, and I do not like it!” If my child had said that, I would have been mortified. This mother rolled her eyes and suggested her daughter ignore “the baby.” My baby, whose mother was sitting ten feet away from this dynamic duo.
I gave the mom the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was embarrassed and didn’t know how to handle it. Clearly, the girls were not going to give my daughter the time of day. Knowing how tough it can be for older kids to play with younger kids, I took Penny’s hand and led her to play in another area. The little girl came back, unprovoked, and said, “You can’t stand up like we can,” jabbing her finger in the air, “because you are a baby.”
The mother was nowhere to be found, so in my best teacher voice I said, “You know, kiddo, you were exactly the same age and size not too long ago.” She ran away.
We play a huge role in our children’s lives. The mother was probably tired of hearing her daughter’s complaints. Since she was enjoying having a conversation with her friend, she told her daughter to ignore the baby who was “bothering” her. What about explaining to her that little kids look up to big kids? Or asking her how the baby was “bothering” her and then trying to figure out a solution?
Every decision we make sends a message to our children. That little girl learned that it’s okay to act unkindly towards another child just because she’s younger. If Penny had come up to me and complained about a smaller child annoying her, I would have explained to her that in our family we are friendly to everyone and that she should be especially friendly to younger kids who admire her.
When I walked into the play area initially, I sat by the two moms because they were the only other adults in the library. I thought it was odd that neither acknowledged me. Of course, I didn’t expect to be brought into a private conversation, but a simple hello would have been nice. It was inconvenient for those moms to say hi to another mom, just like it was inconvenient for one of their daughters to be kind to another child. It was inconvenient for the mom to take advantage of a simple teachable moment.
I’d like to think this was an isolated incident. I know through many interactions with children that this is not the norm. Most kids see babies toddling around the library, remark how cute they are, and bring them into their game—at least temporarily. Obviously, we can’t—and shouldn’t— monitor everything our children say and do. However, it seemed this child has already learned, whether through inconvenience or blissful ignorance, that it’s okay to be unkind to someone else.
I wish I had had the courage to speak with the mother myself and try to figure out why she responded this way. Instead, I’m writing about it now. Hopefully, someone can learn from it, no matter which mother you are in this story.
I'm a former New Yorker turned suburbanite. I'm incredibly lucky to be a professional writer and stay-at-home mom to Penny: my sassy, mischievous toddler. When I'm not pulling play-doh out of Penny's mouth, I write about parenting and my former career as a teacher in an elite NYC private school.
As parents, our greatest wish for our children is for them to be happy, healthy, and confident. Experts agree that curiosity and independent thinking are key ingredients to ensuring the development of these positive character traits; however, there is still often cultural and societal pressure for kids to conform to predetermined ideas and behaviors.
Raising kids who stand up for what they believe in and who march to the beat of their drums can be a delicate balancing act, but it’s essential to fostering a strong sense of self. According to says Carole Kramer Arsenault, a licensed family therapist, and founder and CEO of Boston Baby Nurse, “Independent thinking children develop higher levels of confidence and have increased self-esteem. Children who are independent thinkers use their own experiences to interpret the world instead of believing everything they are taught by parents, teachers, society, etc.”
We asked child behavior and early education experts for their advice on how to foster confidence and independent thinking in any child. Here are their 12 best tips for raising an independent thinker.
1. Model and share the behaviors, values, and ideals you want your independent kid to possess.
Modeling and sharing with your child what you believe and what you value—early and often—will ensure that she grows up with a solid ideological foundation as she develops her sense of self. “Parents who communicate what they value with their children raise children who value communicating with their parents,” says Mica Geer, an American early education specialist based in Stuttgart, Germany. Geer adds that it’s a two-way street and parents also need to hear what their children value, too. “It may seem like the ramblings of a child, but when a kid is sharing her thoughts, parents need to really listen.”
2. Let children know that failure is an essential part of learning and growing.
Young children are like sponges: they’ll absorb virtually everything around them. Encouraging kids to learn through their failures instead of giving up when things get tough will empower them in the long run. According to the Child Mind Institute, a nonprofit organization that supports families and children coping with mental illness and learning disabilities, “trial and error is how kids learn, and falling short on a goal helps kids find out that it’s not fatal.” By learning to embrace a misstep, a child may be spurred to put in the extra effort the next time, learning a valuable lesson.
3. Expose your child to different cultures, foods, and multicultural/multiethnic experiences.
“Encouraging your child to play and interact with other kids from all cultural and ethnic backgrounds and diverse socio-economic circumstances can open a child’s mind to different worldviews and opinions,” says Kramer Arsenault. Early exposure to the wider world—to different cultures, people, and even food—teaches a child that the world is vast and open to lots of possibilities.
4. Instead of simply pushing independence, encourage self-reliance.
Kipp Jareke-Cheng via Instagram
Dr. Jim Taylor, a San Francisco-based psychologist, says becoming an independent thinker is achieved through the pursuit of self-reliance. “As human beings, we are social creatures incapable of being truly independent. Instead of raising independent children, I want you to raise self-reliant children.” Dr. Taylor defines self-reliance as “confident in your own abilities and able to do things for yourself.” For children, that means encouraging the development of essential life tools that include cognitive, emotional, behavioral, interpersonal, and practical skills.
5. Tell your kids that practice makes perfect—or at least makes pretty great.
While experts agree that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to instilling confidence and independence in children, most recognize that values can and do change with time, age, and experience. The Center for Parenting Education provides useful resources for helping parents raise caring, responsible, resilient children, including practical exercises that parents and children can work on together to share and explore their basic life values.
6. Allow your kids to act their age.
One of the greatest and longest-lasting gifts a parent can give to a child is confidence. However, a parent can undermine a child’s confidence by creating expectations that are unrealistic or not age-appropriate. Carl Pickhardt, a psychologist, and author of 15 parenting books says, “When a child feels that only performing as well as parents is good enough, that unrealistic standard may discourage effort. Striving to meet advanced age expectations can reduce confidence.” Instead, he says parents should celebrate accomplishments big and small as well as encourage children to practice skills to build competence.
7. Define and set clear boundaries for your child.
iStock
It may seem counter-intuitive, but defining and establishing clear boundaries and expectations will help a child feel a greater sense of independence and confidence. According to Geer, “reasonable boundaries that are based in logic and frequently reinforced actually do more to encourage kids than constantly changing expectations.” She adds that parents sometimes equate expectations with limitations, but kids always are looking for things that make them feel safe and in a safe environment to build their own ideas.
8. Give your child the space to grow, learn and explore.
Younger children especially are trying to assert their independence in ways that may come across as defiant or disorderly to some parents. But experts caution not to overreact or jump in to correct too quickly. “Research shows that parents who are over-involved in an activity that a child is doing, who take over, those kids don’t develop a sense of pride, adventure, and willingness to try new things,” says Dr. Linda Acredolo, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Davis. Instead, Dr. Acredolo says children need the space to try—and fail on their own to learn and move forward.
9. Give responsibilities to your child at an early age.
Whether it’s simple household duties like taking out the trash or doing the dishes, assigning chores to children can give them a sense of accomplishment as well as set them up for understanding that seeing through the completion of tasks is essential throughout life and part of being a successful person. “By making them do chores… they realize, ‘I have to do the work of life in order to be part of life,’ ” says Julie Lythcott-Haims, a former Stanford University dean and the author of How to Raise an Adult.
10. Encourage your child to ask questions and share their opinions.
iStock
Rather than enforcing your own perspective or dismissing your child’s questions, encouraging your child to question things and share their opinions and genuinely listen will help them gain confidence in their ideas. “This shows the child that his viewpoints matter. Parents should engage in actively listening to what their child has to say. When a child feels listened to he feels valued,” says Kramer Arsenault. And feeling valued will enhance your child’s self-esteem and confidence.
11. Teach children that they have agency over their minds and bodies.
Children rely on so much from their parents and caregivers when they are young, but as they transition from childhood into adolescence, one of the most important lessons they need to learn is that they have agency over their minds and bodies. Parents can help facilitate the transition of their children’s dependence to greater independence by ensuring that their kids know the choices they make have consequences. The Center for Parenting Education has a helpful resource for helping parents and children navigate effective discipline and consequences.
12. Trust your kids.
According to Dr. Jim Taylor, there are two kinds of children: independent and contingent. Contingent children are dependent on others for how they feel about themselves, while independent children are intrinsically motivated to achieve. Trusting that your child has learned the right lessons will allow him or her to flourish in their independence. “If your children are independent, you have provided them with the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves. You gave your children the freedom to experience life fully and learn its many important lessons,” says Dr. Taylor.
Celebrate these new parent milestones with a few laughs (and maybe a box of tissues on hand)
The big baby milestones—first word! first steps! first smile!—are amazing and worth the wait. But they’re just one-half of the milestones new parents can all relate to. In fact, there’s a lot more for new parents to celebrate. As far as we’re concerned, new parent firsts deserve some recognition too. Not only are they a good reminder that you’re not in this alone, they also help us see how far we’ve all come. Appreciating small parenting wins and everyday victories like these will give you a much-needed boost in energy and confidence.
iStock
1. You left your home in clean clothes and even styled your hair. No spit-up, pajama pants, or messy mom bun about it. Nothing but the dark circles under your eyes to give away how you usually look post-baby.
2. “Thanks, but I’ll handle this my way.” You can practically hear the applause in your head when you shut down someone giving you unsolicited advice about your baby. Sorry, mother-in-law or nosy stranger on the street, but this mom knows what she's doing.
3. The first time you figure out how to fasten your baby carrier and place your child securely inside it, you feel like you can handle anything parenting throws at you.
4. You see a new mom struggling with getting her stroller through a door or with fresh spit-up on her shirt, and you step in and know exactly how to help. Her grateful “thank you” reminds you that you’re in an amazing community of new parents who are looking out for one another.
5. That first glass of wine. Or sushi. Or soft cheese. All those things you gave up when you were pregnant and couldn’t wait to welcome back into your life.
6. Your child slept through the night! Sure, you woke up repeatedly to make sure they were breathing and worried something was wrong (and if you’re breastfeeding, your boobs are rock-hard), but you slept! You look and feel like a million bucks thanks to that sweet, uninterrupted rest.
7. Your first mom friend is a game-changer. With babies the same age, you have a ton to talk about, and you’re so excited to have someone to text with at 5 a.m. when nobody else is up.
8. When your child makes a face or a noise and you’re on it. You know exactly whether your baby is tired, hungry, cold, or needs a diaper change. Any parent who has held up a crying baby and wailed “What do you want?” knows exactly how big this victory is.
9. That first baby giggle is the best sound in the world. After months of making silly faces and noises to a somber newborn audience, getting definitive proof that your baby thinks you’re funny is a total ego boost. You'll spend the next few days trying to get more laughs.
10. Having an uninterrupted talk, by phone, FaceTime, or in person, with a good friend. Consider it a bonus victory if you talked about something other than your baby.
11. You’ve found a daily routine that works for you and, more importantly, for your little one. After weeks of winging it with a newborn, a schedule means you can plan when you’ll be able to shower and drink a hot coffee each day, and that is gold.
12. You transferred your sleeping baby from the car seat to the crib without waking them up. And then you nearly woke them up by doing a victory dance next to their crib.
13. Your first date night. Even if that date is just picking up takeout and heading home, you and your partner have left the baby and your home and spent time together again. You’ve missed that time. So do yourselves a favor and talk about something other than the baby while you’re out. And no sharing baby pics either.
14. The first time you change a diaper or breastfeed away from home can be nerve-racking. You’ve dreaded it, you’ve avoided it, but when the time comes, you and your baby get through it like champs. Here’s to getting more comfortable going out with your baby!
15. You’re shopping at a place with designated new-parent parking spots, and there’s an open space. Step aside for this new parent VIP!
16. You wake up on your own. No baby alarm clock. No actual alarm clock either. Just you blissfully opening your eyes when you’re ready to wake up. And that’s what it feels like to be refreshed and ready to face the day. You'd forgotten that feeling, right?
17. You show up on time to an appointment, a playdate, a visit with your family. Not on “parent time,” but actually on time. It’s a miracle. Enjoy it because who knows when that will happen again.
18. Your first time going someplace without the baby. Why do you feel so much lighter? Oh right, because you’re just carrying your wallet, keys, and phone, not a million things your baby might need.
19. When another parent asks you for advice, it can make you feel like an MVP. Whether they’re wondering about your favorite stroller or how you settle your baby down for a nap so quickly, giving another parent advice is a total confidence booster.
20. That first monster blowout is a rite of passage for new parents. Everybody has a horror story, and they’re all equally gross and hilarious. We'll spare you any more details.
21. When you’re cuddling with your baby and hear a contented sigh. That’s your baby, and nobody else in the world can comfort them like you can. Yes, the days are long and the years are short, but these moments are magic.
Few things say summer more than a lemonade stand. And what better way to launch your kid’s entrepreneurial career? Lemonade stands are a ton of fun but also offer life lessons like goal-setting, confidence-building, and basic business skills—lessons that can set them on a path to succeed in life regardless of the path they choose.
Here are our 7 top lemonade stand tips to help your kids run the ultimate lemonade stand and get the most from the experience.
1. SET YOUR PRICE…OR MAYBE DON’T!
Our first lemonade stand tip is if your kids want to set a price for their lemonade, make sure they account for all the costs to ensure they’ll make money on each cup. It’s not just the lemons and sugar that cost money, don’t forget to factor in the cost of the cups, signs, and stand decorations.
But a totally different strategy is to not set a price at all. By asking people to pay what they want, they may raise even more money than if they set a price for each cup. If your kids are raising money for a good cause, or a local charity, this strategy can supercharge their revenue!
2. THE BEST LOCATION MAY NOT BE THE CLOSEST ONE
A lemonade stand starts strong if it’s located in a safe, accessible area with high foot traffic. If you live in a busy area, your front lawn, stoop, or driveway might be ideal. But if you live in a quieter location, think about partnering with a friend who lives in a busier area or setting up somewhere else in town. But be sure to check with your local government to make sure that they won’t need a permit.
3. THE MORE EYE-CATCHING THE BETTER
Streamers, balloons, big signs, and cute pets are all great ways for the stand to catch people’s attention. The more eye-catching the better. Check out some of the bright and colorful lemonade stands on Pinterest and Instagram for inspiration. Or better yet, encourage your kids to let their imagination fly and practice their creativity with their own ideas about how to get people’s attention.
4. PRACTICE THE PITCH
What will your kids say to potential customers? Most kids get nervous talking to adults or strangers. Have them figure out what they’ll say to potential customers, write it down, then practice the pitch. The more they practice, the more it will feel like reciting a line in a school play instead of talking to a stranger. Eventually, they’ll be so good at their pitch that they’ll stop being nervous and may even exude more confidence beyond their lemonade stand.
5. GET THE WORD OUT
Aside from making a big, eye-catching display, get a few customers by asking friends and family to stop by and support the stand. And don’t forget to spread the word on social media. You and your kids can also create flyers and pass them out around your neighborhood.
6. OFFER PAYMENT OPTIONS
Cash is king. But joggers, walkers, and cyclists usually don’t have cash on them. Let your kids borrow your phone to use your PayPal and Venmo accounts to collect money from their more active customers. Even if they’ve never collected any e-payments, a child with a sign that says “We accept Paypal and Venmo” will catch people’s attention and gain them some serious entrepreneurial cred.
7. MANAGE THE PROCEEDS
Have your kids do the math to figure out how much they sold (the revenue), how much they spent (the expenses), and what is left at the end (the profit). Make sure to let them know that while it’s great to raise money for a cause they believe in, there is nothing wrong with working hard to make money for themselves, too.
And if you need a recipe, here’s our favorite from The Startup Squad’s first book: juice from 6 lemons, 6 cups of water, and 1 cup of sugar. Yum!
I've always built businesses, from a childhood gummy bear business to adult gigs at IMAX and Coupons.com. I founded The Startup Squad to help girls reach their potential and my book series, The Startup Squad, is published by Macmillan. I live in Silicon Valley with my wife and two daughters.
There are a few things you can do to help your elementary school kid thrive
When my oldest daughter was first starting elementary school, I missed all the registration deadlines, so I couldn’t tour the building or meet her teachers. Since I blew it in regards to a tour, which may have allowed me to tell my daughter how special her future classroom was, or how nice her teachers seemed—my only interaction with the school was with the secretary. While we mostly spoke about up-to-date medical forms and school supply lists, I did my darndest to talk up how wonderful Lisa, the secretary, was after every conversation. It was my daughter’s only peek into the place that would soon occupy six hours of her day, five days a week, and I knew I had to do my best to make it a positive one.
Our recommendations and assurances, as parents, have an amazing impact on the comfort level of people who know and trust us. They are even more intrinsic when it comes to our children’s confidence in the new environments we are tasked with introducing them to throughout their childhood. A new sport, a new playdate, and especially a new school involves your child trusting in the potential of the match you have arranged on their behalf.
When children are about to embark on a new adventure, they look to us to see if they should be scared, excited, confident, or resistant. When that new adventure involves separation from us, as the school does, it’s even more crucial that children have the sense that we like and trust the people in whose care we are placing them in. Of course, your child has the final say in whom they like and trust, but we can do our part to warm them up to the idea of exploring new relationships and situations if we make the effort to set a positive tone from the outset.
It’s no wonder that one of the biggest indicators of children’s success in school is the parental attitude toward school.
Here are five things you can try to help your child feel a sense of trust, ease, and confidence as the new school year begins
1. Speak positively about your child’s school and teachers. Any small expression of fondness goes a long way. No need to feel hindered by not having details; your child is trying to pick up on your energy and attitude, not necessarily your knowledge of specifics.
2. Look for opportunities to find similarities so your child feels a sense of familiarity and belonging. This can be done in small ways, such as letting your child know that you saw her favorite book in the school library or that his teacher has the same first name as a family member.
3. Convey a sense of trust. If your child is worried about being away from you, give reassurance that you would only put her in the care of people who are capable of caring for her in your absence.
4. Use names, not titles, when referring to people at your child’s school. Instead of saying, “your teacher” or “your principal,” which makes the relationship seem to be only between your child and that person, try saying, “Ms. Christine,” so it feels like you are speaking about someone you both have a warm relationship with.
5. Avoid criticism of any aspect of school, no matter how small it may seem to you. Inevitably situations will come up that irk you, but do what you can to vent frustrations and concerns after your children are sound asleep. This will help children preserve the trust and confidence you have worked so hard to help them cultivate.
As simple as some suggestions may seem, it’s our consistency and intentionality that will allow children to thrive in their new environment over time.
Here’s to positive beginnings and a smooth start to yet another back-to-school season!
Christine Carrig, M.S.Ed., runs Carrig Montessori School in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. She is an early childhood specialist and mom of four. She helps parents who are seeking more holistic ways to support their children along the messy road of development. You can sign up for her newsletter at The Family Flow or follow her on Instagram.
I try to keep my daughter on a schedule and routine that she’s used to because, without a schedule, things get a little crazy around here. Our normal schedule works great for day-to-day things, but during the summer, I think it’s important to mix things up a little bit. The best (and most fun) way to do this is to introduce your kids to travel.
I started traveling with my daughter pretty consistently (even if it was just a weekend staycation, which she actually likes most) about a year ago. We average about one trip per month during the school year; however, during the summer, all bets are off, and we’re jet-setting as much as possible.
If you’ve thought about introducing your kids to travel but are still on the fence about it, here are some of my top reasons why you should encourage all members of your family to get out and about, no matter how young they are.
iStock
1. Adventure
Traveling is a great way to give your kids the chance to experience an adventure. No matter where they travel, your kids will love discovering their adventures along the way. They will venture outside their comfort zone and experience new and exciting things they wouldn’t get a chance to do at home. These adventures will quickly become something your kids look forward to doing each time they travel.
2. Compassion
Traveling is also a great way to foster compassion in your kids. When kids travel, they get a chance to see different socioeconomic backgrounds, especially if they travel to foreign countries. Your kids will see firsthand that not everyone is as blessed as they are, giving them an appreciation for what they have and compassion towards those less fortunate.
If you’ve ever traveled, you know that plenty can go wrong. When this happens, you need to be flexible and find a solution to the problem. That’s why traveling is so valuable of an experience for your kids. They will learn to be flexible when something happens outside of their control. This helps them learn to roll with the punches, so to speak, an important skill to have in life.
4. Education
Wherever your kids travel, you can expect the journey to be educational. Your kids will get the chance to experience different cultures and learn about the area’s history, giving them a broader and more educated view of the world.
iStock
5. Memories
The memories that your kids make during their travels will be something that sticks with them throughout life. When they think about their childhood, they’ll remember these trips with fondness. They won’t remember the shiny new toy they got for their birthday or the toy that was so hot last Christmas every kid had to have it (Who remembers that Hatchimal)? They will, however, remember the adventures they had when they traveled. Whether your family travels together or if your kids travel alone or with friends, your kids will remember what they experienced. These memories will be lasting ones.
6. Independence
You want your kids to be independent, which is why family travel is such a valuable experience for kids. Traveling will cultivate your kid’s sense of independence, teaching them how to do things on their own. To help get them started, allow them to research and plan your next vacation. Start with small tasks like researching the history of a location, the food, or the language.
As they get older, give them more responsibilities like researching the currency or mapping out how to get from the airport to the hotel. By the time they are 7, they should be able to do enough research (thanks to Google and Youtube) to be able to point out the country on a map, tell you what language they speak in that country, what currency they use, and be able to say “hello,” “I need help” and “thank you” in that countries language.
7. Self Discovery
iStock
Your kids will be amazed at what they discover about the world around them and what they learn about themselves during their travels. Your kids will discover what interests them, including what their favorite places to go are and what foods they like to eat. This type of self-discovery is essential for kids to develop since it will give them confidence in who they are and what person they want to be.
Family travel is what helped me discover just how much my daughter loves history. Every time we would go somewhere new, she would spend hours researching the history of that state or country. She can spend hours in a museum and loves talking to locals.
Traveling is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your kids. Your kids will learn more about who they are and develop skills and characteristics they’ll use throughout their lives.
I’m Courtney! A thirty-something-year-old travel, food, lifestyle and family blogger for The World In Four Days. In addition to being a jet-setter, I’m also a wound care nurse and mommy to the cutest little eight-year-old on earth (IG @reesealvarado)
You want to tell your daughter what she needs to hear. Here are our favorite inspiring words to use
When it comes to helping your daughter become a strong woman, it’s important to offer compliments and inspiring words in a way that boosts self-esteem and confidence. Words are powerful, and when they come from a grown-up they can make a huge difference. From appreciating her creative side to how far and fast her strong legs will carry her, here are 20 ways to praise your daughter today (and every day). And here are 10 times your daughter shouldn’t have to say “I’m sorry.”
iStock
1. Thanks for giving me a hug, I needed that. As kids grow older, they're less likely to want to snuggle up with mom or dad. When they do show affection, let them know it's as important to you as it's always been.
3. You are a good friend. Teaching kids about the power of healthy relationships is the key to raising strong adults.
4. I love how hard you worked on this project, and how you stuck with it even when you got frustrated. Focus on how they overcame the challenge and what they accomplished.
5. You make the world a better place just by being in it. And if anyone thinks otherwise, it's their loss!
iStock
6. Don't let mean kids tell you what to think of yourself. Your self-esteem belongs to only you.
7. I'm so happy you're in my life. After all, wouldn't you want to hear that from someone you love?
8. Isn't it great that your strong legs can help you run super fast? Praising the things a little girl can do with her body instead of noticing how it looks will help her appreciate, and strive for, a healthy lifestyle.
9. I love the color combo you've got going on today, it's very creative! Nice things to say to your daughter don't have to focus on just looks. Compliment your daughter on her outfit when you focus on her creativity, rather than how pretty she looks.
10. You are a kind person. Compliments for girls that focus on kindness, courage, and honesty will go far in building self-esteem.
11. I am proud of you. Because kids need to hear this from their parents. Every. Day.
12. I’m impressed with how you solved/built/created that. Can you show me a thing or two?! Praise your daughter for her critical thinking and problem-solving prowess.
13. I think you are a great leader. One of the best things you can do for your daughter is to show her that being a leader isn’t just “being bossy.”
14. Just be yourself. It’s enough. Girls are constantly being told they aren’t enough, and it's time to break the cycle and instill confidence.
15. Your ideas are important, and I want to hear them. Kids in general, but especially girls, need to know their ideas are awesome and worth sharing.
Brittney Fort
16. Your inner beauty and kindness shine through your personality. Outer beauty is a bonus.
17. Your bright smile shows me how happy you are. Your daughter is smiling for a reason, and when you notice, it'll make her even happier.
18. You're strong, you're smart, and you can change the world. Because she can!
19. I'm here for you. She needs to know that she can come to you for anything and that you'll be ready to listen.
20. I'm sorry. No one is perfect, and sometimes we lose our cool. An apology shows that we can admit when we're wrong, which is an important life skill.
Parents who grew up watching Goose and Maverick will love the newest collectible doll from Barbie. Just in time for Christmas and in celebration of the Top Gun: Maverick hitting theaters in May 2022, future pilots-in-training can now get their hands on The Top Gun: Maverick Barbie!
Inspired by Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, the doll embodies the character’s confidence and skills as she navigates the competitive Top Gun flight school. Mattel’s design shows commitment to the movie details: she wears a pilots helmet, jumpsuit with signature patches, aviator sunglasses, dog tags and a watch.
Perfect for under the tree, shoppers can already pick up their own Top Gun: Maverick Barbie® at Barbie.com, Target, and Amazon for $40. And don’t forget to head to the theaters when the newest flick drops on May 27, 2022.
