Discover new ways to enjoy the outdoors! The National Park Service’s Junior Ranger motto is “Explore. Learn. Protect.” And that is exactly what your 4 to 13-year-olds get to do! Explore national parks in the Bay Area; Learn about the park’s natural wildlife, landscape and history; and Protect those parks so we can trek through them for years to come! After completing a series of activities (like counting rings on a fallen tree, word games and deciphering secret codes), kiddos can earn an official Junior Ranger patch and a Junior Ranger certificate. Keep reading to find out exactly which parks offer this cool program. And we’ve included a few virtual options as well!
How it Works
It’s simple! Go to one of the parks listed below. Pick up the Junior Park Ranger book at the visitor center (or sometimes you can download and print from home). Have fun doing all the activities and then turn in your completed book to a park ranger and get your badge and/or certificate. And the best part is that it’s FREE and available year-round.
Where to Go!
Muir Woods National Monument
Spend time in the forest! Follow the directions in your book and then chat with a ranger about your time in the park. Discuss what you learned and what you’re still curious about. And then Wala! Your kiddo gets a badge and a certificate and you are now the proud parent of a Junior Park Ranger! Get the book here!
Best for Ages: 4-11+
Website: Muir Woods National Monument
Marin Headlands
Travel just north of the Golden Gate Bridge and explore the wonders of nature in the Marin Headlands. Learn about ocean ecology, the history of the inhabitants of years past and how to study animal scat! Get the book here!
Best for Ages: 6-12
Website: Marin Headlands Visitor’s Center
photo by Alcatraz Cruises
Alcatraz Island
Explore one of the most iconic prisons in the United States. Dive into the mystery and unique history of this national park. Are you ready to become an Alcatraz Jr. Ranger? Get the book here! Follow the map and complete the exercises along the way! Books are also available on Alcatraz Island at the Dock Information Station. And if you can’t make it to Alcatraz, don’t worry. You can visit virtually using the Jr. Ranger Photo Gallery and an Alcatraz Ranger will send your little one a badge!
Best for Ages: 4-12
Website: Alcatraz Island
Fort Point National Historic Site
Explore the fort. Learn about its incredible history. And protect the fort’s beauty and environment so that generations can enjoy it for years to come! Try a scavenger hunt, interview a ranger and learn about the day in a life of a soldier (Fort Point defended the Bay after the Gold Rush and through World War II). Get the book here!
Best for Ages: 4-11+
Website: Fort Point National Historic Site
Photo: annie-spratt via unsplash
China Camp
This Junior Ranger program searches for birds that live and visit China Camp’s shorelines and oak woodlands. You might find hummingbirds, raptors, shorebirds and waterfowl. Kiddos will also get an up-close peek at nests and feathers. Don’t forget your camera! The program will be guided by naturalists/educators Suzanne Mirviss and Paula O’Connell. And good news! All kids must be accompanied by an adult—so you can join in on the fun as well! Register Here
Best for Ages: 7-9 Date: April 9, 2022 Time: 10 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. Location: China Camp Ranger Station
Website: China Camp
*Pro-tip: Weather can be temperamental—layers work best! Snacks are welcome and water is encouraged.
San Francisco Maritime Park
Pick up your Junior Ranger activity book at one of three locations. Learn about a fleet of historic vessels and visit the maritime museum. At the same time, complete the activities and then find a park ranger who can review your kiddos hard work and award them with a well-earned Junior Ranger badge. Books are also available for download here for 5-8 yeard olds and 9-12 year olds.
Best for Ages: 5-12
Locations:
Hyde Street Pier, Foot of Hyde Street/2905 Hyde Street
Municipal Pier (Aquatic Park Pier)
Aquatic Park Bathhouse Building (Maritime Museum), Foot of Polk Street/900 Beach Street
Website: San Francisco Maritime Park
Photo: toki-doki via creative commons
Point Reyes Junior Ranger
Come to Point Reyes and pick up your Junior Ranger book at one of the park’s visitor centers. Explore the history of the Coast Miwok (people who call this area home) and learn about marine life (especially elephant seals and gray whales). When you finish your Junior Ranger book, return it to one of the visitor centers to get sworn in as an official Junior Park Ranger and receive your Junior Ranger patch. Too much time exploring to finish the book while you are in the park? Complete it later and mail it here: Bear Valley Visitor Center, Point Reyes National Seashore, 1 Bear Valley Road, Point Reyes Station, CA, 94956.
A ranger will check your work and mail the book back to you with a patch! Can’t make the trip to Point Reyes? Become a Virtual Junior Ranger!
Best for Ages: 5-12+
Website: Point Reyes National Seashore
Virtual Opportunities
Dual Language
Initiated in the summer of 2020, close to 10,000 people participated in Virtual Junior Ranger Programs. Because they were so successful, the staff decided to continue the programs. And now—a dual language Junior Ranger program is available online. Check it out for yourself! And click here to access six different modules to complete at your own pace.
Beach Buddies Junior Ranger Book
The Beach Buddies Jr. Ranger book features Petey Plover, a cute little bird with a brown Ranger hat. Petey guides you through fun activities that teach you how to keep your beaches clean and safe in fun and easy ways. Get the book here!
Best for Ages: 6-10+
Virtual Junior Ranger Railroad Explorer
Ready to become a railroad explorer? Learn more about the transcontinental railroad, which helped link the United States from coast to coast! Complete this book, check your work and complete the pledge in the back of the book.
Junior Ranger Sounds Explorer
Meet Lucy, the listening owl. Follow her as you explore the sounds of the park, learn the science behind those sounds and appreciate why we need to protect those sounds. Complete this book, check your answers with this key, have a parent sign the certificate to become a Junior Ranger Sounds Explorer. To find out more about natural sounds and why sounds matter, check this out!
Best for Ages 5-10+
Junior Ranger in Space
Co-designed with NASA, click here to access the Spaceflight Explorer Jr. Ranger book. Complete with math and matching puzzles, thinking questions, spot the difference photos, scrambled words and anagrams, children will learn about the Moon, space vehicles and national parks. Take the pledge, make your own badge, and show off your certificate proudly!
Best for Ages: 5-8
Junior Ranger Angler
Let’s go fishing! Get your booklet here! Learn about fishing, aquatic life and safety while you meet fish, learn about different types of fishing and get to know the gear. Parents, check their work and then scroll to the bottom of this page to print a badge.
Best for Ages: 5-12+
Junior Ranger Scientist
Explore magnificent caves, learn what cave scientists actually do and start protecting our natural environments and the things that make caves special! Complete this booklet and send it to this address: Jr. Cave Scientist, GRD-Academy Place, PO BOX 25287, Denver, CO 80225. Via mail, you will receive your booklet, a badge and a personal letter to your little explorer.
Best for Ages: 5-12+
Junior Ranger Night Explorer
Here’s the booklet! Try the “exploring with your Senses” and the “Take a Planet Walk” sections. Complete as much of the book as you can. Sign the book and take a look at your well-deserved virtual high-five.
Best for Age: 5-12+
Black History Month is upon us, and while it’s a time to learn about the experiences and contributions of people of African descent in the US, it’s just as important to be mindful about how we teach our children this history. It’s our job as parents to nurture and defend our children’s natural instinct to love, and that includes being deliberate in how we introduce and sustain conversations about social justice toward any group. But how do we make sure we’re doing just that? Conveying Black history in ways that are both fun and age-appropriate can help kids appreciate how diversity makes our society both more rich and resilient. Here are six ways to celebrate Black History Month with purpose.
1. Make sure the information that you share about social injustice is developmentally appropriate
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For children under nine years old in particular, we want to limit exposure to content that is excessively violent or that can create a social hierarchy in their minds. As described in Race, Class, and Parenting: 5 Strategies for Discussing Social Injustice with Your Children, age is not a reason or excuse to avoid conversations on injustice; age and psycho-emotional development are crucial considerations when deciding what to discuss and how to share.
Use common sense to discern what kind of language or details you should use to discuss historic injustice—especially violent acts of injustice and hate crimes. We can and should communicate that people were and are sometimes treated in unfair and inhumane ways without traumatizing our young children with graphic details.
2. Realize that it is more important to condemn the oppression than to describe it
Laura Green
With children that are old enough, we need to make sure that there is a correlation between how much detail we share about racist oppression and how much we explore the psychology of the oppressor. If you do not feel that your child is old enough or sophisticated enough to reckon with the depraved motivations of slaveholders, then they may not be ready to be exposed to the explicit details of the practices on plantations.
Many Black history stories are curiously missing an antagonist. We risk inadvertently laying blame on the victim when we do not identify and condemn the abuser. Avoid content that describes institutionalized racism in the passive voice. For example, Harriet Tubman was not a slave. The Brodess family enslaved Harriet Tubman. Reframing these conversations in this way creates accountability for these crimes against humanity, which is the most critical step towards justice.
3. Make sure to give broader context for systemic bias against Black people
Annette Benedetti
There are many historical examples of systemic bias and oppression throughout the world. Make sure your children are aware that suffering and enslavement are not unique to Black people. If we fail to contextualize the enslavement and segregation of black people, we unintentionally dehumanize this population.
Many children are taught about the oppression of Black people long before they are taught about the oppression experienced by any other community. The goal is not to incite pity for Black people; it is to illuminate the universal problems associated with systemic injustice. Ultimately, we want our children to understand Black history in order to recognize and combat injustice against any individual or group.
4. Do not ignore the diversity and complexity of the Black experience
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Truthfully, there is no singular “Black experience.” It is inherently problematic to make skin color the singular unifying factor in the historical experiences of groups of people. The African diaspora spans the globe. People with dark skin exist everywhere, and the historical context of their arrival at their respective locations is completely different for different groups of people and individuals.
Do not collapse Black history education into the U.S. slavery to civil rights narrative, as is often practiced.
The Black experience is diverse, complex, evolving, and ongoing. Black history started long before the slave trade. It encompasses people of all religions, socio-economic levels, and political persuasions. If you fail to teach your children to grapple with this complexity, they may default to stereotyping. During Black History Month, be sure to include conversations about a variety of black people living in America, including LGBTQ individuals, differently-abled Black Americans, recent immigrants, and women.
5. Make Black history relatable by focusing on shared interests and experiences
Focus on teaching about the contributions and experiences of Black Americans that naturally align with your child’s interests. For example, if your child is very interested in space or astrophysics, you could look for biographies on Mae Jemison or Neil deGrasse Tyson.
If you have a little foodie, try sampling or cooking foods from the African diaspora like soul food or Caribbean food. If you have an actor, musician, poet or inventor, expose them to Sydney Poitier, Duke Ellington, Langston Hughes, or Garrett Morgan.
Black history month is a unique opportunity to cultivate authentic respect for and identification with Black American culture. Take advantage of the surge of content that is available this month to help your children see that there is more that unites us than divides us.
6. Make sure to continue Black history and social justice education year-round
Dedicating the shortest calendar month of the year to acknowledging the experiences and contributions of Black people is inherently problematic. In an equitable circumstance, academic curriculums would reflect the experiences and influences of all people seamlessly. If our textbooks were accurate and inclusive, we would learn about the contributions of African American engineers during our engineering unit—not just during Black History Month.
In this way, Black History Month is a cultural institution that may contradict or subvert its own intended goal. It absolves our schools, teachers, and society from the responsibility to integrate people of color during the rest of the year, but we can remedy this within our own homes.
Make sure to integrate conversations and history lessons about Black people all year so that your children will know that diversity appreciation and the mission of social justice are a lifestyle, not a novelty.
A friend shared a heartwarming story recently about her experience growing up with limited access to period care products. As a child, her family could not afford tampons, pads or other period care products and she would often use toilet paper to catch her period blood.
One day in middle school, this came up in conversation with a close guy friend. He knew enough about periods from his mom and older sister to understand this was probably pretty uncomfortable for her. The next day, he showed up to school with a box of tampons for her courtesy of the menstruators in his life. Rather than tease her or ignore the issue because it’s ‘not his problem’, her friend showed empathy and kindness, replacing an unpleasant experience with a positive memory that sticks with her to this day.
Even though biological males don’t menstruate, they still need to know about menstruation. Since around 50% of the population menstruates at some point in their life, it’s important for everyone to know what’s up so that we avoid bullying, teasing and spreading false information.
But, when should you start talking with your son about periods? What’s the best way to relay the information to them in a way that they’ll understand if they have so little context for what getting a period is like? What details do you leave in and are there some you should leave out?
Here are a few things that are particularly important when it comes to talking with boys about periods:
First, start early.
Yep, this can be intimidating but, as it turns out, experts recommend starting conversations about menstruation as early as 4 years old. The goal is to start small and build on that foundational knowledge in a developmentally appropriate way as your child grows (rather than trying to pile on information about what periods are, how they happen, why they happen, how to manage them and what other emotional and physical changes happen because of them all at once).
Keep things honest, simple & direct.
Your child may naturally ask you about periods if they notice you’re putting tampons in the cart at the grocery store or if they see a commercial for Midol or if another kid at school mentions it. Regardless, you’re not always going to anticipate the timing or context of these questions and, frankly, they can totally catch you off guard. The most important thing to remember: take a deep breath and answer your child’s question in an honest, simple and direct way.
Easier said than done. So, here’s one example:
Child: Dad, what’s a tampon?
Parent: Well, your mom bleeds a little bit from her vagina every month. It’s not because she’s hurt. It’s just a normal healthy part of having a vagina. The tampon catches the blood so that it doesn’t go in her underwear.
Child: Uh, why?
Parent: Well, it’s called a period and it’s what allows moms to have beautiful kiddos like you! Pretty cool, huh?
Depending on the age of your child, it’s likely a moot point by now and they’re off doing their own thing.
Talk about periods within the context of puberty.
With boys, it can be particularly helpful to talk about periods in the context of something they can directly relate to. Try helping them understand that menstruation is a physical part of puberty for females and that they too will experience physical changes of their own as they grow up, like changes to their voice and growing hair on their body and face.
Stay positive & encourage empathy.
This is a big one! Between the ages of 8-14, girls’ confidence levels fall an average of 30%. Encouraging young boys to have empathy and teaching them not to tease or shame someone for being on their period can help new menstruators feel more comfortable and confident as their bodies change and develop.
At the end of the day, you know your child’s maturity level best and have the power to decide how much is too much or how little is too little. If you’re not comfortable talking to your kids about periods, make sure they have another way to get this information such as asking a family member, doctor, school counselor or nurse to talk with your child or by delivering this information through another medium such as a book, comic or video.
For more support on having tough growing-up conversations with your kids, check out maro parents. and for help finding access to free and affordable period care products, reach out to Helping Women, Period.
In a recent Instagram poll, I asked this question: “Are you feeling stressed and anxious—now, more than ever”? 97% of teen respondents said, “YES”!
Am I surprised? No way. Am I curious what a teen girl’s world is like now that everything has changed? You bet.
I decided to ask more specific questions. To start, I queried about their body signs of stress.
They told me they are experiencing more headaches, stomachaches, tears, insomnia, and lethargy. I then asked about how they are coping. Most told me they are turning to their screens and some said they were trying to get outside more and be more active. Finally, I asked about what was causing the most stress. Girls told me their top three stressors: friendships (as in, not getting enough time to hang out and have fun), school (as in, how difficult it is to teach herself and stay engaged on Zoom or teams calls), and the future (as in, when will life get “back to normal” and what is summer and life going to be like).
At Bold New Girls, I have noticed a radical shift this year in girls’ energy (they are constantly fatigued), their enthusiasm (they really isn’t any), their moods (they are often sensitive at best, cantankerous at worst), and their mindsets (they are unable to hold a positive attitude about what’s working for them or going well).
Teen girls get my utmost empathy and compassion. Life is just tough right now. And, so are they! Your daughter is similarly struggling like these pollsters and she can become resilient by going through the tough stuff. Here are four ways you can help her with her mental health right now:
1. Look at her context. See her story and what’s been happening for her—at school, with her friends, and online. You may want to try asking more creative questions like, “I’d love to hear about your day today or how you are connecting online and in-person.” This helps you understand the “whole girl.”
2. Let her talk. Give her your undivided attention (putting down your phone and to-do list), the safe emotional space (assuring her this is her time to share, not yours), and the time to tell you what’s really on her mind (where neither of you watches the clock). This helps her unburden her concerns.
3. Listen. Don’t interrupt, interject, add on, problem solve, or minimize anything she says. Your job is to really hear her—both her words and the feelings behind her words—and “get” her in perhaps a new way. This helps her feel accepted.
4. Start as many sentences as you can with “Let’s try…” Suggest what you can do together to cultivate her healthy and positive mindset. You could try a relaxing activity together such as stretching, yoga, or meditation. You could also plan a new activity or a little adventure that could offer you both a change of routine and scenery. This helps her feel she is not alone—you are right there with her—and you are on her side.
In the next Instagram poll, I am going to ask this question: “Are you getting the support you need and feeling more balanced!” I can’t wait to see improved results.
I am a girl advocate and girls champion; the founder of Bold New Girls and Brave New Boys teaching and coaching for girls, boys, and their parents. As well, I am the author Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready (available on Amazon and Audible). I am an international speaker and an instructor with Udemy.
Teaching kids to read is a rewarding experience, but it doesn’t come easy! Luckily, Random House Children’s Books has just announced that it is launching a new learn-to-read program that comes with a clear method and recurring characters and stories that is perfect for kids ages four to eight.
Developed by reading and literary specialist Marla Conn, the Reading House program is made up of 12 boxed sets all releasing in 2021. Each set comes with 12 leveled storybooks, an activity sheet, a progress sticker sheet and a classroom guide.
The new program teaches kiddos letter recognition and phonemic awareness as they progress on their journey to independent reading. Using recurring characters and stories, kids are able to recognize words and understand meaning due to context clues and familiarity.
The Reading House Sets 1–5 launches 1/5/2021 and includes:
The Reading House Set 1: Letter Recognition A–L
The Reading House Set 2: Letter Recognition M–Z, including lower and upper-case letters and beginning sounds
The Reading House Set 3: Introduction to Short Vowel Sounds
The Reading House Set 4: Short Vowel Clusters and Sight Words
The Reading House Set 5: Short Vowels and Reading for Fluency, including short vowels sounds and word families, clusters, and sight words
The Reading House Sets 6–8 launches 3/2/2021 and includes:
The Reading House Set 6: Introduction to Long Vowel Sounds
The Reading House Set 7: Long Vowel Blends and Sight Words
The Reading House Set 8: Long Vowels and Reading for Fluency, including long vowel sounds and word families, blends, and sight words
The Reading House Sets 9–12 launches 5/4/2021 and includes:
The Reading House Set 9: Introduction to Reading for Meaning
The Reading House Set 10: Sequencing Events
The Reading House Set 11: Comparing and Contrasting
The Reading House Set 12: Cause and Effect Relationships
Stay tuned for more details about pre-order availability!
In order to help out families with distance learning, HISTORY has launched a new series of fun lessons to teach, inspire and motivate children. History announced “HISTORY at Home” a free video series available every Mon., Wed., and Fri. at 11 a.m. ET across the network’s digital and social media platforms. Led by a diverse roster of presenters, the first lesson kicks off today with best-selling author Max Brooks educating parents and children on the timely topics of the origins of washing your hands and the history of germs and micro-biology.
In addition to Brooks, HISTORY has gathered a collection of presenters to deliver history lessons on topics they are passionate about. Hosts include Laurence Fishburne, Padma Lakshmi, Billie Jean King, Dan Abrams, Brad Meltzer and more.
“We are currently experiencing an unprecedented moment in history,” said Dr. Kimberly Gilmore, Chief Historian for HISTORY. “Our brand has the ability to harness its vast archive of historical content, while also delivering engaging and thought-provoking educational experiences during this intense time for both children and parents. History always gives us perspective and context to find a way forward. We hope ‘HISTORY at Home’ will provide uplifting moments of inspiration and positivity as we all get through this pandemic together.”
The videos will be available on HISTORY’s Facebook, IGTV, Twitter, YouTube and on their website. Easy and engaging lesson plans to match the themes of the videos will be provided after each lesson and users will be encouraged to share their own activities by uploading personal videos and pictures for an opportunity to be featured as HISTORY’s “Student of the Week.” Also, historically-themed quizzes will post daily to History’s Instagram and Twitter providing a light-hearted, interactive means to engage and educate both kids and parents alike.
You already know the way a serious case of the tireds or total frustration can affect your tot, but now recent research from Northwestern University may have found another reason behind toddler temper tantrums.
Researchers surveyed more than 2,000 parents who all had toddlers between 12 and 38 months of age. The parents answered questions about their toddlers’ tantrum behaviors, as well as how many words the children could speak.
So what did the researchers find? The data showed a connection between late talkers (toddlers who had less than 50 words or weren’t stringing words together by two years) and severe tantrums.
Elizabeth Norton, an assistant professor in the department of communication sciences and disorders at Northwestern said, “We totally expect toddlers to have temper tantrums if they’re tired or frustrated, and most parents know a tantrum when they see it.” Norton continued, “But not many parents know that certain kinds of frequent or severe tantrums can indicate risk for later mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression ADHD and behavior problems.”
Before you start to worry about your kiddo’s lag in language, co-principal investigator Lauren Wakschlag, professor and vice chair in the department of medical social sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and the DevSci director said of toddler tantrums, language delays and later issues, “All these behaviors must be understood within developmental context.”
Wakschlag continued, “Parents should not overreact just because the child next door has more words or because their child had a day from The Wild Things with many out-of-control tantrums. The key reliable indicators of concern in both these domains is a persistent pattern of problems and/or delays. When these go hand in hand, they exacerbate each other and increase risk, partly because these problems interfere with healthy interactions with those around them.”
Researchers from the University of East Anglia investigated how 18- to 24-month-olds learn language. More specifically, how they learn new words in the context of words they already know and words that are new to them.
According to Dr. Larissa Samuelson, from UEA’s School of Psychology, “Previous work suggests that when children hear a word they do not know and an object they have never seen in the context of some objects that they can already name, such as a toy or a ball, they guess the new word refers to the new thing.”
Samuelson went on to add, “We wanted to know if the strength of a child’s knowledge of familiar things, how well they know what ‘cars’ or ‘balls’ are, mattered for learning new words and remembering them.” So what did the researchers find?
After teaching 82 children two new words (“zeb” for a honey-dipper and “yok” for a strainer), they introduced a third new object/word. The researchers then asked the children to get the newest item (a bird toy named “blick”) when it was presented with the “zeb” and “yok,” and again with objects they already knew.
Even though the toddlers were able to link the new word to the bird toy in the presence of the items they already knew, they were also able to do so when the researchers placed the “blick” with the “zeb” and the “yok.”
While this isn’t exactly surprising, the researchers did find that after a five-minute coloring break, the toddlers were better able to remember the “blick” in the presence of the new objects/words. Samuelson said, of the findings, “”We had expected that a stronger knowledge of familiar words would be better for learning new words, but we found the opposite was true.” She went on to add, “It seems counterintuitive, but it is perhaps because the less well-known items don’t compete with the new words as much. If they learn new words in the context of playing with well-known items such as a ball, book or car, they don’t process the new word as much.”
What does this mean for you? According to this study, you might have a new way to teach your tot!
Female-centered stories don’t only benefit girls. Shannon Hale, the New York Times best-selling author of some 30 children’s and young adult books, noticed something as she toured the country: Boys didn’t seem to be reading her books, and it was mostly because adults thought they wouldn’t want to.
As Hale wrote in the Washington Post, “It’s clear that our culture assumes: 1. Boys aren’t going to like a book that stars a girl. 2. Men’s stories are universal, while women’s stories are only for girls.”
But that’s not always the case. With a little effort, plenty of parents of boys have made “girl stories” resonate for all involved.
Iva Marie Palmer, author of the YA series, Gabby Garcia’s Ultimate Playbook, and a mother in Los Angeles, has been reading stories with female protagonists to her eldest son since he was born, and has continued with her younger son. Palmer read A Wrinkle in Time to her eldest, around age 3, but Harriet the Spy really captured her son’s imagination. “He was 5 or 6, and kind of a mischievous kid who might be interested in that character, I thought,” Palmer said. “I wasn’t really even thinking, Is this a boy book? Is this a girl book?”
Later, he took to the Ivy and Bean series, after a teacher read one in class. “He checked out six or seven of them,” says Palmer. And his enthusiasm proved infectious. “Other boys, when they see a boy reading these books, it’s an endorsement,” she said. “Pretty soon all the boys were reading Ivy and Bean.” These books were funny, the plots resonated and the gender of the main characters was beside the point.
This thread follows through to YA readers. At the book events Palmer has attended, there have been plenty of boys in each crowd who have read Gabby Garcia—not despite the fact that it’s about a girl, but because it’s about baseball. Gabby’s bravery, humor, feelings of awkwardness, desire to be naughty, and love of baseball know no gender.
Linnea Covington, a mother in Denver, Colorado, has read two series featuring female protagonists to her 4-year-old son: Zoey and Sassafras by Asia Citro, and Princess in Black by Shannon and Dean Hale. “For him, I want good books with strong characters, despite the gender,” she said. “At least he is seeing interesting and strong girls to go with his manly superheroes.”
Some parents leave gender out of it completely, pitching titles featuring female protagonists as “kids’ books” or “classics.” Some—especially those with younger kids—switch the pronouns in the text. Grace Per Lee, a mother of two boys in Burlington, Vermont, said, “The hungry caterpillar, the runaway bunny… they don’t need to be male.”
The context is larger than pronouns, however. “I want them to know that girls and women are real people with wants, needs, challenges, triumphs… the heroes of our own lives,” she said. “We’re not just the supporting characters in books that feature boys and men.”
Nikki Yeager, a mother in New York City whose son is 4, almost exclusively reads books to him with female leads and characters of color. “I believe that he’ll see so many amazing men who look like him represented throughout his life, I want to make sure he gets an equal amount of woman-first content at home,” she said. As an athlete, she’s thrilled that, even at a young age, he’s aware that girls are strong and more than capable. “The other day we were talking about jobs and being a ballerina came up,” she added. “I asked him if he wanted to be a ballerina and he said, ‘I don’t think so. They’re too strong! Only girls can be that strong.’”
Whether through tales of strength, courage, failure, redemption, or something far sillier, these parents are proving that it’s the story that counts—whoever the central characters might be.
“You’re learning about characters and their experiences, whether they look exactly like you or not,” Palmer said, adding that the main point is that kids are reading.
“Kids get it,” wrote Hale. “They just want a good story.”
Rebel Girls is an award-winning cultural media engine, spanning over 70 countries. Through a combination of thought-provoking stories, creative expression, and business innovation, Rebel Girls is on a mission to balance power and create a more inclusive world. Rebel Girls is home to a diverse and passionate group of rebels.
Many parents have an expectation that school will appropriately address their child’s sex education needs. Unfortunately, this expectation is a faulty one. According to the National Conference of State Legislators, only 24 states and the District of Columbia require public schools to teach sex education while 33 States and the District of Columbia require HIV/AIDS education. Consequently, depending on the state you reside, public school education on sex may or may not be an option. In addition, in those states which do offer sex education, the material covered also varies. The bottom line is that parents have an obligation to make sure their children learn what’s needed.
WHAT IS “THE TALK”
There’s a common misconception that there should be this one conversation that is commonly triggered by a question from your child, preparation for menses or when heterosexual young men start showing interest in girls. For both the parents and the kids, the conversation, can for some, be very awkward. It tends to focus on the body’s preparation for reproduction, hygiene, or whatever message parents want to include about having sex and sexually transmitted infections (commonly referred to as STI’s). The reality is that if you are waiting for those signs to appear before having the talk, you’re probably too late to introduce the subject to your kids. Someone else has probably already beaten you to the punch.
WHEN TO HAVE “THE TALK”
Most parents dread the talk because in our minds it is linked with sex and sexual activity. As parents, we need to stop thinking this way as it causes us to do our children a tremendous disservice. As we watch our children develop, we continually measure and talk to them about their height and weight development all throughout their childhood. We don’t measure them once and then never talk about it again. We need to view our child’s sexual development in the same way. Sexual development does not equal sexual activity.
Consequently, our first conversations should take place when they’re around two or three, and they become interested in their genitals. That’s the time to introduce them to the proper names for their body parts such as vulva and penis. You should speak about them in the same tone and emphasis you would use to discuss an arm or leg. This establishes a lifelong ability for them to discuss their body without shame or embarrassment. The age appropriate topic of development at this point is boundaries: Where and when to be naked. Which areas of their bodies are private and should not be touched by others.
The next parent-initiated conversation should take place around nine or 10 years of age to prepare them for the changes that will happen during puberty. Talking to a child before they start to experience their physiological changes is important and goes a long way in helping them maintain good self-esteem, self-awareness and coping skills to help them deal with the many challenges of adolescence. A simple example is, preparing a child to be alert for changes in their sweat and body odor can help prevent embarrassing events that can lead to bullying. Don’t assume that because your child is not yet showing any outward signs of puberty that you should postpone the talk. All children do not develop on the same timeline, so it’s pretty much guaranteed that your kid knows someone who’s developing faster and they’re talking about it. The better prepared your children are, the better they will navigate the challenges and peer influences ahead. You don’t take a trip without planning. Your child shouldn’t be on the road to puberty without a guide.
The next major conversation is the one most frequently considered the talk. This is the conversation you have when your child is showing an interest or attraction to either the opposite sex, or the same sex, and dating even in the group context seems to be starting. This is the time for in depth conversation.
HOW TO HAVE “THE TALK”
From the very first discussion as a toddler it is important when having these discussions to be flexible and age appropriate. Especially with younger kids if they ask a question, there’s something that has triggered the interest, so ask them about it. This will help give you a context for your response. The important piece is to be honest, use accurate words and as best as you can, treat it like any other conversation. If your six-year-old wants to know where babies come from, tell them, “Sure we can talk about it. Is there any reason you want to know?” More than likely, someone in their group has a new sibling on the way and you can simply explain based on that specific context that a sperm and an egg grow together and become a baby. Your child will ask more questions if they want more information. It is also appropriate to tell them that you’re happy to go into more details when they get older. This keeps the door open and encourages future communication.
As much as possible, it is better and less awkward to have age appropriate little talks when the opportunities present themselves. Pay attention to what your kids are saying about their friends, the books they’re given for reading assignments, or stories they see in social media. These are great opportunities to open conversations about specific topics.
WHAT TO INCLUDE IN “THE TALK”
Knowledge is power, so invest in a book. A good book on puberty and development can serve as a wonderful resource both for you and your child. The reality is the talk we received when we were young, if we even got one, was probably woefully inadequate. Become comfortable with the material so you can use proper biological terms like vulva and penis with your children. Answer your children’s questions as they come up, and if you don’t know an answer, it’s okay to admit it. As your kids get older, it’s necessary to become more proactive in telling them what you believe is important for them to know. Provide them appropriate context for behavior. It’s important to be frank with them, that all behaviors have consequences. Include a discussion of safety issues such as consent, STI’s, and contraception.
Sexual development is a process that begins in early childhood and accelerates into adolescence and beyond. Our conversations with our children need to follow a similar process. We need to change our parental perspective from focusing on the talk, to having many little talks that begin with our children as toddlers and continues through elementary school. Maintaining an ongoing dialogue with our children minimizes awkward experiences and enhances the likelihood of a smoother transition of our children into adulthood.
Dr. Nadine Pierre-Louis is the Founder and CEO of Doc and Jock LLC, whose mission is to enhance awareness on male issues with the slogan Real Men Talk™. She has morethan 15 years of experience as a Human Growth and Development Educator and Licensed Marriage Therapist.
